Archive for the ‘Animal & Pet Humor’ Category

A Recipe For Trouble (Limerick)

Saturday, May 21st, 2022

An annoying acquaintance loves roe
And dishes all covered in dough.
He’ll eat beef by the herd
And most any old bird,
But he’ll always refuse to eat crow.

This Limerick’s For The Birds

Wednesday, May 4th, 2022

Saw a lovely red bird near an inn.
And that beautiful sight brought a grin
To my face, till the bird
Let loose with a turd
On my tresses — a cardinal sin!

“Bird Day,” celebrated May 4, is one of several bird-related holidays. Other bird holidays include:

National Bird Day (January 5)

Northern Parrots National Cockatiel Day (May 20)

World Parrot Day (May 31)

Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: HEEL or HEAL at the end of any one line (Submission Deadline: April 2, 2022)

Saturday, March 19th, 2022

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using HEEL or HEAL at the end of ANY ONE LINE. (A homonym or homophone not listed here may be used in lieu of the designated rhyme word.)

The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)

Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to FLIGHT, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best FLIGHT-related limerick.

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the winners on April 3, 2022, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, April 2, 2022, at 4:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

Here’s my HEEL or HEAL-rhyme limerick:

Playing poker, Neil felt like a heel.
But he gambled with passionate zeal,
Using cash that was meant
For rent — ev’ry cent.
So his win was a very big deal.

And here’s my FLIGHT-themed limerick:

Our beagle’d chase felines with glee.
The game? Trap or make the cat flee.
But one day, Duke stood guard
For hours in our yard;
Seems our dog had barked up the wrong tree.

Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

This Insult Won’t Fly (Limerick)

Wednesday, February 2nd, 2022

Today is “World Ostrich Day.” And according to the Reid Park Zoo, the “second of February (2/2) was chosen to celebrate these unique birds because they only have two toes per foot!”

And the other interesting thing about ostriches, is that the whole “bury their head in the sand” thing is a myth. And that brings me to my latest two-verse limerick:

The ostrich’s rep has been bruised,
And ostriches aren’t amused.
We have all been misled;
They don’t bury their head
In the sand. They are falsely accused.

So if someone you know tends to hide
From the facts, shield the ostriches’ pride.
It’s time to adapt;
Find an insult more apt
Than “ostrich” with which to deride.

My Brother’s Rabbit Habit (Limerick)

Sunday, January 30th, 2022

My brother (Arthur Begun) and his wife (Janet) are both animal lovers. So this limerick tale is true:

My brother feeds bunnies for fun.
Though they’re wild, they stand by and don’t run;
As he doles out each plate,
They expectantly wait
For their carrots, till dinner is done.

Windy Walk (Limerick)

Tuesday, January 25th, 2022

Disclaimer: No animals were harmed in the making of this limerick:

The wind is impressive today.
While walking, it’s hard not to sway.
By its force I’m bowled over,
And so is poor Rover.
Truth be told, we are both blown away.

Limerick Ode To The Eagles

Monday, January 10th, 2022

“Save The Eagles Day” — that’s today’s brand.
It’s a national day in our land.
Lest there be some confusion
Or even delusion,
I don’t mean the team or the band.

(“Save The Eagles Day” is celebrated each year on January 10.)

Aggrieved Roommate (Limericks)

Wednesday, January 5th, 2022

“I’m sick of your cockatiel’s turds!
Plus it bit me again!” — angry words
From a roommate, unmuffled,
Whose feathers were ruffled.
“I’m moving. Your pet’s for the birds!”

*****

There are several bird-related holidays:

National Bird Day (January 5)

Northern Parrots National Cockatiel Day (May 20)

World Parrot Day (May 31)

Ban This Holiday? (Limerick)

Saturday, December 4th, 2021

Of the many odd hol’days I find,
There are some that I can’t get behind:
Today’s “Cheater Day!” Why
Salute such a guy?
Oh, it’s “Cheetah” Day? Oops! Never mind!

It’s Mouse Day! (Limerick)

Wednesday, November 17th, 2021

Today we must honor the mouse.
Not the rodent, of course, or I’d grouse.
It’s the patent-grant day
For the mouse-gizmo. Yay!
(For a rodent, I’d rope in my spouse.)

(On Nov 17, 1970, Douglas Engelbart was granted the patent for the first computer mouse.)

Limerick Ode To The Horse

Tuesday, November 16th, 2021

Happy “Horse Appreciation Day!” (November 16)

I wouldn’t dare ride on a horse.
My back couldn’t take it, of course.
But please do not feast
On that beautiful beast.
Eat horse-meat? Then brace to face force.

Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: LEAK or LEEK at the end of any one line (Submission Deadline: November 13, 2021)

Saturday, October 30th, 2021

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using LEAK or LEEK at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)

The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)

Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to COMPLAINTS, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best COMPLAINTS-related limerick.

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the winners on November 14, 2021, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, November 13, 2021 at 4:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

Here’s my LEAK/LEEK-rhyme limerick:

I encountered a hedgehog last week;
While it hogged our back hedge, caught a peek.
As it foraged and grunted,
For insects it hunted.
I was pleased … till it munched on my leek.

And here’s my COMPLAINTS-themed limerick:

A woman who loved to complain,
Spouting grievances rather inane,
Would quibble and moan,
Making co-workers groan.
Her latest gripe? Jobless again!

Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

Woe-Ridden Gambler (Limerick)

Sunday, October 24th, 2021

A gambler who lost lots of dough
On a horse race, was stunned by the blow:
“Woe is me! I’m a chump!
That damn horse took a dump
Mid-race; he was rarin’ to ‘go.'”

A Doggone Limerick

Monday, September 13th, 2021

There’s a ball or a frisbee to toss?
Or the call for a meat bone? (No sauce!)
A long walk with your pet,
Or a howling duet?
Your canine pal’s always the boss!

Know-It-All Limerick

Wednesday, September 8th, 2021

“I’ve proven you’re wrong! Now eat crow,”
Said a know-it-all fellow, named Joe,
Who could not help but howl
At the answer re fowl:
“I’m allergic to poultry, so NO!”

A Dog Of A Claim (Limerick)

Wednesday, September 1st, 2021

A man whose deep pockets are boundless
Is hounded by lawsuits, most groundless.
Take the latest; a claim
About dog-bites, whose aim
Is big bucks, but the “dog owner’s” hound-less.

Ill-Bred Limerick

Thursday, August 26th, 2021

Happy “National Dog Day.” (August 26)

My favorite breed is the “mutt.”
Yes, I know you’re about to say “But,
That isn’t a breed.”
I’m aware, but I need
To annoy nutty dog snobs who strut.

(National Mutt Day is celebrated on two days: July 31 and December 2.)

More Fun With Idioms (Limerick)

Monday, August 2nd, 2021

When someone’s depicted as “poor
As a church mouse,” I want to know more:
Are mice in a church
Always left in the lurch?
And if so, why not forage next door?

How To Deal With A Stubborn Donkey (Limerick)

Tuesday, May 4th, 2021

After reading that the earliest use of “Proot” was found in Robert Louis Stevenson’s “Travels with a Donkey in the Cévennes,” I couldn’t resist writing this limerick:

If your donkey behaves like a mule
And is moving too slowly, your tool
To boost the beast’s speed
And get him to heed
Is shout “PROOT!” (That’s the “Stevenson rule.”)

UPDATE: It just occurred to me that I used the current Limerick-Off rhyme-word “Tool” in this limerick, without planning to. But that gives me a good excuse to remind limerick writers about my Limerick-Offs. Here’s the link to my “tool”-rhyme contest. The entry deadline is May 15, 2021 at 4 p.m. Eastern time.

Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: TOOL or TULLE at the end of any one line (Submission Deadline: May 15, 2021)

Saturday, May 1st, 2021

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using TOOL or TULLE at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)

The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)

Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to ZOOS, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best ZOO-related limerick.

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the winners on May 16, 2021, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, May 15, 2021 at 4:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

Here’s my TOOL/TULLE-rhyme limerick:

The worst sort of boss is the fool
Who frequently acts like a tool;
When his OWN boss says jump,
He’ll obey like a chump.
Then who’ll suffer the consequence? You’ll!

And here’s my ZOO-themed limerick:

On a trip to our large, local zoo
We peered at its small new-born gnu.
That calf is so cute,
But it’s surely on route
To be horned, huge and cow-like, sans moo.

Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!