Archive for January, 2022

Yet Another Wordle Limerick

Monday, January 31st, 2022

Though he’s brilliant, my husband can’t spell.
And his less/fewer usage? Pell-mell!
But despite his word-hurdle,
He beats me at Wordle
And kvells as I yell, “What fresh hell!”

My Brother’s Rabbit Habit (Limerick)

Sunday, January 30th, 2022

My brother (Arthur Begun) and his wife (Janet) are both animal lovers. So this limerick tale is true:

My brother feeds bunnies for fun.
Though they’re wild, they stand by and don’t run;
As he doles out each plate,
They expectantly wait
For their carrots, till dinner is done.

Croissants Caught In The Crosshairs (Limerick)

Sunday, January 30th, 2022

The croissant’s a beloved dessert:
“That crescent’s the best!” some assert.
But others say “no”
To “wasting” their dough
On “stuff that’s less healthy than dirt.”

“National Croissant Day” is celebrated each year on January 30.

A Curmudgeon Confesses (Limerick)

Saturday, January 29th, 2022

“A curmudgeon? Who, me? I’ll concede
That I tend to find fault with great speed.
And I often get cranky;
You might need a hanky
To deal with your tears from my screed.”

National Curmudgeons Day is celebrated each year on January 29.

Limerick For A Puzzling Day

Saturday, January 29th, 2022

It’s “Puzzle Day.” Which one’s your fav?
I’ll try the Times Crossword, when brave.
I’m better at Mini;
Don’t feel like a ninny.
But it’s Wordle I savor and crave!

National Puzzle Day is celebrated each year on January 29.

Snow’s Afoot! (Limerick)

Thursday, January 27th, 2022

A Nor’easter is headed here soon.
With snow we are set to be strewn;
Twelve inches expected!
I’m feeling dejected,
As forecasters breathlessly swoon.

Limerick Gymnastics

Wednesday, January 26th, 2022

Two newly-wed gymnasts were sacked
And told it was time to get packed:
“Since the pair of you wed,
You are always in bed.”
Their defense? “Life’s a balancing act.”

Windy Walk (Limerick)

Tuesday, January 25th, 2022

Disclaimer: No animals were harmed in the making of this limerick:

The wind is impressive today.
While walking, it’s hard not to sway.
By its force I’m bowled over,
And so is poor Rover.
Truth be told, we are both blown away.

Unsolicited Advice (Limerick)

Tuesday, January 25th, 2022

If you’re someone who blows your own trumpet,
It’s a terrible habit. Please dump it!
You’ve let loose with a hiss?
I won’t sugarcoat this;
You will just have to like it or lump it.

Please Don’t Tease Us (Limerick)

Monday, January 24th, 2022

Some say Omicron cases are peaking.
Do they know that of which they are speaking?
We are all on the ropes,
So don’t lift up our hopes
Just to dash them again … cuz we’re freaking!

Limerick Ode To “Just Do It” Day.

Monday, January 24th, 2022

Today is the day to “Just Do It!”
If you don’t, you may possibly rue it.
What’s that thing you should do?
Perhaps one or a few
Things that scare you. You have some? I knew it!

National Just Do It Day falls on January 24.

Happy “Pie Day!” (Limerick)

Sunday, January 23rd, 2022

Today you may celebrate pie;
It’s “National Pie Day.” That’s why.
But pies never tempt me,
So kindly exempt me.
Choc’late layer cake? THAT I would buy.

National Pie Day is celebrated on January 23.

My Handwriting Morass (Limerick)

Sunday, January 23rd, 2022

It’s “National Handwriting Day.”
Can my scrawl be deciphered? No way!
Don’t attempt to decrypt
My handwritten script;
You’ll be stumped by my scribbly display.

January 23 is “National Handwriting Day.”

Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: PRIME at the end of any one line (Submission Deadline: February 5, 2022 )

Saturday, January 22nd, 2022

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using PRIME at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)

The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)

Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to ACCUSATIONS, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best ACCUSATIONS-related limerick.

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the winners on February 6 2022, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, February 5, 2022 at 4:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

Here’s my PRIME-rhyme limerick:

A dishonest young fellow named Lance
Stole some wallets and handbags in France.
Though his theft skills were prime,
(This was not his first crime)
Lance was caught quite by chance at a dance.

And here’s my ACCUSATION-themed limerick:

A tense spouse warned her husband, “No joke!
You must give up cigars, or you’ll croak.”
He replied with a shriek:
“But I stopped just last week.”
“You’re lying,” she said. “Don’t blow smoke.”

Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

Limerick-Off Award (487)

Saturday, January 22nd, 2022

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick-Off winners based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in the last Limerick-Off.

Congratulations to SJAAN VANDENBROEDER, who wins the Limerick-Off Award for this funny limerick:

When his “urges” became more resurgent,
Certain pleas to his wife grew more urgent:
“Now that I’m growing old,
I will need to get bold…”
So she bought him a box of detergent.

Congratulations to BRIAN ALLGAR, who wins the Special INJURY-Themed Limerick Award for this funny limerick:

The hitch-hiker’s feeling quite glum,
And he thinks that it may have been dumb –
Stuck his hand out too fast
As a lorry shot past.
Now he’s waving goodbye to his thumb.

And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Terry Marter, Mark Totterdell Sue Dulley, Kirk Miller, Tim James, Roger Haugen, Bob Turvey, Byron Miller, Sjaan VandenBroeder, Jean McEwen, Doug Harris, Wildman, Steve Benko, Dave Johnson, Lisi Nortman Ardissone, David Friedman, Daisy Hyrkas, and Rudy Landesman. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:


Terry Marter:

A critic, – audacious and bold,
Said my rhymes were all corny and old.
He is now on the floor
With my large Volume Four, –
There’s some blood, and his body’s quite cold.

Mark Totterdell:

To eat a blue cheese, truth be told,
Is an action both risky and bold.
It could lead to your doom,
As that stuff you consume
Is old cow-juice all shot through with mold.


Sue Dulley:

I put on my jacket and strolled
Past the lawn where the lawn-bowlers bowled.
I won’t join their sport
Because life is too short
And I’m not yet sufficiently old.

Kirk Miller:

The magazine’s concept was bold.
Origami designs would be sold.
But subscribers were few,
So the publisher knew
After only one issue, they’d fold.

Tim James:

A publisher’s wife had grown cold
And turned into a bit of a scold.
Did he push back? No way.
It’s a pity to say
That only his typeface is bold.

Roger Haugen:

Said the ram to his pal, “I’ve been told
There’s a flock of hot girls in that fold;
Why screw just one ewe?
I’m up for a few–
No time to be sheepish, but bold!”

Bob Turvey:

No – they can’t replace heroes of old,
Like Fleming. So clever. So bold.
It must have been thrillin’
To find penicillin –
After making him God broke the mould.

Terry Marter:

I dreamt that my lims had all sold,
For their wit and their style oh so bold.
Then awoke minus smile
As my eyes caught the pile, –
All withered and gathering mould.

Byron Miller:

I can’t count all the games that I’ve bowled
In these shoes now all moldy and holed.
But, a buyer I’ll catch
If I glue on a patch;
Time to get them resoled and resold.

Sjaan VandenBroeder:

Lady Longhorn, one hundred years old,
Breathed her last as her lover took hold.
He, not noticing this,
Said, when planting a kiss,
“Why so cold, if I may be so bold?”

Tim James:

The gal was especially bold.
Of my hands she had taken firm hold
And pressed both to her breast.
I then made a request:
“May I take a brief rest?” (God I’m old.)

Lisi Nortman:

I have frightening feelings of dread.
And unsettling thoughts in my head.
What’s more, I am old.
But today I was bold.
And actually got out of bed.


Jean McEwen:

I am secretly pleased that the limb
That I injured today at the gym
Needs a rest, cause truth told,
I’m decrepit and old
And this spandex look’s getting quite grim.

Doug Harris:

There’s many a tendon I’ve nursed
And how often I’ve landed head-first.
But likely dismissed
From the injury list –
A bruised ego is prob’ly the worst!

Terry Marter:

He was proud to be known far and wide
For the lions that lived by his side.
One day (on their whim)
He was torn limb from limb,
But none of it injured his pride.


In my Oculus world of illusion
I selected the game called ‘Confusion.’
Oh, I scored pretty well
Till I spun and then fell;
A new level achieved, called ‘Contusion.’

Steve Benko:

“Are you injured? Hire me, and we’ll sue!”
Said the billboard in red, white, and blue.
“The American way
Is to make someone pay;
You’ll get rich, and your lawyer will, too!”

Dave Johnson:

A porn film director named Rob
Was known for the insults he’d lob.
One time, way back when,
He kept yelling at Ken
For limping along on the job.

Roger Haugen:

The mugger cried out: “No more, please!”
As he cowered in pain on his knees;
He was soft in the head,
Or maybe brain-dead,
To think he could injure Louise.

David Friedman:

There once was a fellow named Gore
Whose nuts got shot off in the war.
He said, “Have no fears,
I’m married 10 years
So don’t really need ’em no more.”

Daisy Hyrkas:

I’ve chopped up my wrists with a knife,
But still I am clinging to life.
I’m clutching the note
That I angrily wrote,
Placing all of the blame on my wife.

Rudy Landesman:

Oh meter! Oh meter! Oh meter!
You’re sloppy. You stumble. You teeter
All over the place
And fall flat on your face.
You MUST mind your feet to be neater.

Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.

In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win the Limerick-Off Award.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

Blathering Limerick

Tuesday, January 18th, 2022

A talkative tailor named Chip
Dished the dirt at a spirited clip.
Some patrons with clout
Got the babbler bawled out;
He was ordered to “button his lip.”

Is Rhyming Addictive? (Limerick)

Friday, January 14th, 2022

When I dream up a rhyme, I must grab it.
I will break up my sleep, just to nab it.
In the midst of a shower,
I’ll write “whiskey sour.” —
Can’t conquer this powerful habit.

A Colo(u)rful Complaint (Limerick)

Wednesday, January 12th, 2022

After encountering a colo(u)rful complaint about my new favorite word game “Wordle,” I felt compelled to write this limerick:

Some harbo(u)r a gripe against “Wordle,”
Cuz their labo(u)rs encounter a hurdle:
Just one “u” used in rumo(u)r?
This causes ill humo(u)r…
And apparently makes their blood curdle.

“Bucket Lists” Leave Me Listless (Limerick)

Tuesday, January 11th, 2022

There are folks who develop a bucket list;
Pre-death dreams, goals, and treks to Nantucket list.
But to heck with that checklist!
I don’t need a trek-list!
I DO have a chuck-it and fuck-it list.

Limerick Ode To The Eagles

Monday, January 10th, 2022

“Save The Eagles Day” — that’s today’s brand.
It’s a national day in our land.
Lest there be some confusion
Or even delusion,
I don’t mean the team or the band.

(“Save The Eagles Day” is celebrated each year on January 10.)