Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: TOOL or TULLE at the end of any one line (Submission Deadline: May 15, 2021)

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using TOOL or TULLE at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)

The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)

Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to ZOOS, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best ZOO-related limerick.

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the winners on May 16, 2021, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, May 15, 2021 at 4:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

Here’s my TOOL/TULLE-rhyme limerick:

The worst sort of boss is the fool
Who frequently acts like a tool;
When his OWN boss says jump,
He’ll obey like a chump.
Then who’ll suffer the consequence? You’ll!

And here’s my ZOO-themed limerick:

On a trip to our large, local zoo
We peered at its small new-born gnu.
That calf is so cute,
But it’s surely on route
To be horned, huge and cow-like, sans moo.

Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

Tags: , , , , , , , , , ,

107 Responses to “Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: TOOL or TULLE at the end of any one line (Submission Deadline: May 15, 2021)”

  1. Lisi Nortman says:

    Mad: limerick #1 is wrong. I just noticed how people would get mixed up.
    I should be: Told my friends you are “surely no fool”.
    Cuz you’re hammered all day, (that’s so cool).
    Said, “He screws all night long,
    All the chicks love his schlong.”
    Boy! You’ve nailed it; you’re one hunky tool.

    Could you please delete the first one, and put this one in instead?
    Thank You, Lisi

    ********
    I deleted it.

  2. Terry Marter says:

    When the trash man drank all his wife’s gin
    His chance of survival was thin.
    She diced up the fool
    With a very sharp tool
    But he still wouldn’t fit in the bin.

  3. Lisi Nortman says:

    “Get me out of here, I am just through!
    All these animals stink, phew, phew, phew.
    And look at that turd.
    It’s so foul, it’s absurd.
    I must tell you, this place is a zoo”.

  4. Sjaan VandenBroeder says:

    At a price not too hard on my wallet,
    Bought a gizmo with junk to install it,
    Came with gadget-y tool
    And a doodad that’s cool.
    But it won’t fit my whatchamacallit.

  5. Terry Marter says:

    Now here’s a grammatical “tool”
    A rule the kids picked up at school
    Silent P’s not a whim
    Though it Can be, – in “Swim”
    Hey Mum, can we jump in the pool?

  6. Clay Wild says:

    So a fool can be one kind of ‘tool’…
    Like Tom Sawyer, his friends did befool
    Billy Bob, it was said
    Sharpest tool in the shed?
    He’ll be back for more work – thinks he’s cool!

  7. Terry Marter says:

    We Took a Day-trip to the zoo.
    Lots of blurbs there to test what we knew.
    Though those Latin names suck
    ‘didn’t LOOK like a schmuck
    Cuz I read them (but don’t have clue).

  8. Clay Wild says:

    Power drill, indispensable tool
    Measure twice, but drill once, as a rule
    In the tool hall of fame
    Apropos dual name
    Tongue in cheek, you can call it a ‘drool’…

  9. Lisi Nortman says:

    Mary asks John

    “John, I’ve noticed that Phillip is blue.
    Tell me why, dear, I haven’t a clue”

    “He invented a tool,
    But this scatter-brained fool
    Didn’t team it up with the right screw”.

  10. Kirk Miller says:

    Cinderella’s a story that’s cool.
    Handsome prince is quite smart, not a fool.
    Since the slipper does fit,
    With the prince she’s a hit.
    And in bed he does slipper his tool.

  11. Terry Marter says:

    Flamingos all pooping in sync
    Take my Olfactory sense to the brink.
    ‘guess flamingos must poo
    Just like we humans do
    But my question? Why isn’t theirs pink?

  12. Clay Wild says:

    Didn’t learn this at some Tech Ed school
    Orange juice and some vodka my ‘tool’…
    When up-TIGHT, from the grind
    Tall Screwdriver, unwind…
    I’m now LOOSE, versus tight, but no fool!

  13. Jean McEwen says:

    The best way to get by? Play it cool!
    You may LOOK like a chump (a mere tool
    Of the powers that be–
    An obtuse worker bee)–
    But in truth, you’ll be nobody’s fool.

  14. Jean McEwen says:

    Pete of PETA finds wholly elusive
    How the masses can find zoos amusive.
    “You think critters in cages
    Should somehow engage us?
    Wake up! Zoos are hugely abusive.”

  15. Lisi Nortman says:

    Do not pet that bear, stand real still.
    If you touch him, I know that you will
    Be eaten alive,
    And you will not survive.
    And regret that you’ve made him real ill.

  16. Clay Wild says:

    A perceptive small child named Ryan
    Called the zoo’s BIG CAT out without tryin’
    “Though you’ve BIG teeth and jaws,
    You’re DISHONEST because…
    I KNOW you’re a CHEETAH, or LION!”

  17. Terry Marter says:

    Roamed the zoo eating ice cream (vanilla)
    Came across the huge alpha gorilla
    After dumping the candy
    My wife, feeling randy
    Jumped in just to see’f he could thrill’er

  18. Terry Marter says:

    Mad, would you please delete my Limerick at May 1. 11.06. Thanks.

    *********

    Done.

  19. Terry Marter says:

    They got married in Vegas NV
    They’d been pissed for an hour or three
    Then she saw through her tulle
    She’d just married a fool
    “….But you said you were Elvis Mk111”

  20. Rudy Landesman says:

    I once learned in medical school,
    For problems in passing your stool,
    Try eating a prune.
    Relief will come soon.
    An enema’s not the best tool.

  21. Paul Haebig says:

    We’re pandas who live at the zoo
    we don’t have a whole lot to do
    but lie in the sun
    play around and have fun
    and spend all day eating bamboo.

    The pandas made Jill, the giraffe,
    erupt with a deep belly laugh.
    But the laughter’s long trek
    all the way up Jill’s neck
    to her mouth took an hour and a half!

  22. Paul Haebig says:

    My friend the zoologist, Kyle,
    can identify any reptile!
    He says “It’s a gator
    if you see it later.
    A croc you’ll see after a while.”

  23. Terry Marter says:

    On our latest day-trip to the zoo
    Saw flamingos,- way more than a few.
    Do the staff tear out hair
    Counting how many’s there?
    Or count legs then divide it by two.

  24. Terry Marter says:

    The bride, looking splendid in tulle
    Didn’t like to dress up (as a rule)
    But the day of her wedding
    The prospect of bedding
    Her dude while undressing, was cool.

  25. Brian Allgar says:

    (One from 2016, when the Turkish President’s alleged … errr … sexual tastes were in the news)

    “Bestiality? Oh, not that word again”,
    Moaned plaintively President Erdogan.
    “It’s my own private zoo;
    I’m entitled to screw
    Or to bugger a goat from my herd again.”

  26. Brian Allgar says:

    (Another oldie)

    As they loaded the Ark’s floating zoo,
    It appeared they were missing a few.
    “Those unicorns? Banned ’em”,
    Said Noah. “Can’t stand ’em.
    I’m allergic to dinosaurs, too.”

  27. Brian Allgar says:

    A gorilla with bright orange skin
    And a vast hippopotamus chin,
    A rhinoceros rump …
    It’s the one-man zoo, Trump!
    (Did I mention his crocodile grin?)

  28. Brian Allgar says:

    Boasted Donald, “I’m hung like a mule!
    Believe me, there’s no yuger tool!
    My magnificent schlong
    Is twelve inches long …
    But it doesn’t get used as a rule.”

  29. Terry Marter says:

    The mysterious unicorn’s fate
    Has for years been a cause for debate
    Never seen in a zoo
    The researchers best clue
    Is that Noah declared they taste great.

  30. Bob Turvey says:

    In the Bas-Limousin there is Tulle;
    A town whose name sounds really cool.
    As a site it was plum –
    A real oppidum –
    And a great place for Romans to rule.

  31. Bob Turvey says:

    ‘cos I look like a fish I’m alone;
    But at the zoo romance has grown.
    My strange finny head
    Charmed a large pinniped;
    Or Frank – as he likes to be known.

    I hope this gets the Mad Kane SEAL of Approval.

  32. Clay Wild says:

    Teenage Tom, near the zoo’s hippo cage
    Smoked a joint, ‘cause he thought it the rage…
    Mom and Dad, mad as heck
    Hung a sign ‘round his neck
    “Hip, oh Pot, Thomas?” in words so sage…

  33. Terry Marter says:

    Zoo staff Claim that some Animal type
    can communicate with us (just hype).
    The big Cat in the room
    (That’s the Lion) likes Zoom
    But the ones with the stripes prefer Skype.

  34. Lisi Nortman says:

    I’ve returned cause I’m totally numb.
    A danger this hammer’s become.
    Though it may look real cool,
    It’s a poorly-made tool.
    Cause it never stops hitting my thumb.

  35. Clay Wild says:

    For a long, circular saw cut fate
    If you’ve tried, most of you can relate…
    With a ‘guide’ as my tool
    I’m, in hindsight a fool…
    Yelled my wife, as my ‘guide’, “Cut it straight!”

  36. Lisi Nortman says:

    “That penguin is makin’ me ill.
    I’ll never go close to that bill.
    It’s cute, that is true,
    But it stinks up the zoo.
    Cuz its breath smells like “Squirmy The Krill”.

  37. Sjaan VandenBroeder says:

    A young bride had her wedding gown planned:
    She’d create it herself — make it grand!
    To her groom she said, “You’ll
    Help me stiffen the tulle.”
    He said, “Sure, I can do it by hand.”

  38. Lisi Nortman says:

    It all started out with some goo.
    All scientists know that it’s true.
    It’s undoubtedly clear.
    Because we’re all here.
    From goo to the zoo, then to you.

  39. Sjaan VandenBroeder says:

    Keen observers at our local zoo,
    Walk right up to the bars and peer through.
    Drawing close, some will howl,
    “Yuk, these critters smell foul!”
    While they’re staring at both me and you.

  40. Rudy Landesman says:

    Hi Mad,
    Sorry to trouble you again, but would you please delete my May 2, 12:48am posting (the zoophile limerick) with this, I think, improved version.
    Thanks,
    Rudy

    A zoophile once went to the zoo
    And patiently waited on queue
    To see his be-love-ed,
    And he was proud of it–
    His mousy, adorable shrew.
    **********
    Done.

  41. Lisi Nortman says:

    All It Takes Is a Look

    If there’s one thing a man can’t resist,
    It’s a woman who wants to be kissed.
    Her expression’s the tool
    That can make a man drool.
    Then the chit-chat will cease to exist.

  42. Juan Gamper says:

    A dancer dressed up in a skimpy 2 2
    joined her partner for a short Pas-de-2.
    The girl’s 2 2 was not more than tull
    but her Pointe Shoes really were a very cool tool
    so together these 2 drew the applause that was due

  43. Lisi Nortman says:

    I write limericks ev-er-y day.
    With words, I consistently play.
    I use one special tool,
    (An imperative rule):
    It’s called hamm’ring and hamm’ring away.

  44. Lisi Nortman says:

    Johnny tries out for plays at his school.
    But, truthfully, he ain’t that cool.
    Didn’t make it as Lawrence.
    I could sense his abhorrence
    (He thought he was Peter O’Toole.)

  45. Clay Wild says:

    It’s a race, elephant and giraffe
    An event that enthralls the zoo’s staff
    They drink water and see
    Who’s the first that will pee
    Ironic for the ‘pee till I laugh’…

  46. Terry Marter says:

    I was standing there just like a fool
    When the Elephant jumped in the pool.
    The crowd all got soaked
    but old Jumbo was stoked
    Thought “must do that again, – I’m so cool!”

  47. Lisi Nortman says:

    Do not go with your husband to Sears.
    It will bring out your deep-rooted fears.
    He’ll buy this weird tool
    That he thinks is real cool:
    An electrical broom for his ears.

  48. Lisi Nortman says:

    My new soul mate just fills me with awe.
    Bad cooking’s her only one flaw.
    I use my new tool,
    (So she won’t think I’m cruel)
    And cut all the meat with a saw.

  49. Doug Harris says:

    ‘Twas a burden, that rigid old tool –
    Every day, out it came at my school.
    But now that twelve inches
    Causes many big flinches,
    So I’ve dropped my split wood as a rule.

  50. When I say Trump’s only a tool,
    GQP says, “That’s the point, fool!
    He stokes MAGA erections
    and can win us elections!
    Whosoever hump’s Trump gets to rule!”

  51. Tim James says:

    Jack Hammer, a chattering fool,
    Pounds the pavement all day, as a rule.
    He’s a chiseler, too.
    Plus it’s also quite true
    That he’s dirty and loud. What a tool.

  52. Clay Wild says:

    Kangaroos, for ‘square’ meals, do a-bound
    While the chimpanzees monkey a-round
    The hyenas, you’ll see
    Hunt ‘triangularly’
    And baboons just ‘wreck tangles’ with sound!

  53. Clay Wild says:

    You might think that baboons are just screaming
    When in fact it’s political scheming…
    Al-PAC-a, pick a side
    Corrupt elephant ride…
    Even fish have been known to be ‘teeming’!

  54. Terry Marter says:

    All the elephants in the zoo’s pit
    Rebelled with an organised shit.
    The staff at the rumpus
    Took shovels and compass
    To dig their way out bit by bit.

  55. Lisi Nortman says:

    She was thrilled and excited. She shined.
    As a Judge she was fine-ly assigned.
    She applied her set rule.
    A wonderful tool.
    Which is something we know as a “mind”.

  56. Lisi Nortman says:

    I patiently waited until
    I sensed that somehow I’d feel ill.
    My dentist, Doc Ghoul
    Came in with his tool:
    A Home Depot 50 pound drill.

  57. Sjaan VandenBroeder says:

    One tool that I use when I polish
    My lim’ricks is handy and smallish.
    Using lead as its fuel,
    It’s a rubber-tipped tool,
    With two settings: “Rub Out” and “Demolish.”

    (Hi, Lisi! This verse was not, but certainly could have been, inspired by
    your rendition of Doc Ghoul’s “finishing touches.” YMML!)

  58. Lisi Nortman says:

    True Story. Age 10. Opening Boxes Of Shipments At My Mother’s Dress Shop.
    (my very first job, 50 cents an hour)

    I certainly didn’t impress
    My mother, (a retail “success”)
    With a very sharp tool,
    I felt like a fool,
    When I noticed just half of a dress.

  59. Gail White says:

    Two dancers, both covered in tulle,
    Were in search of a needle – a tool
    to repair a loose thread –
    and when somebody said
    “How many will do?” they said “Two’ll.”

  60. Lisi Nortman says:

    Gotta Go Once A Year

    It’s time that I go into town.
    The place where you wear a blue gown.
    Doctor Spread has a tool
    That talks, it’s so cool.
    It commands all the gals to “MOVE DOWN”.

  61. Lisi Nortman says:

    Mad: I wrote a limerick on May 2nd. at 8:13 PM
    Instead of (He thought he was Peter o Toole) (L5)
    Could you please change that to (He thinks he is Peter ‘O Toole)

    Thank you, Lisi

    **********

    from Mad:

    Don’t you mean Peter O’Toole?

  62. Rudy Landesman says:

    With all due respect to Gounod and Goethe

    In a legend not known as a rule,
    A king was in love, like a fool,
    To the day that he died.
    Now the truth we can’t hide.
    Le Roi de Thulé just loved tulle.

  63. Lisi Nortman says:

    Yes, I did mean Peter O’Toole.
    (sorry) I never typed his name before!

    Thank You
    Lisi

    ********
    Done.

  64. Terry Marter says:

    The inmates, now running the zoo
    Ran a ballot to sort out who’s who.
    The Lions are in charge
    Cuz they’re fierce and quite large,
    And cuz Meerkats just don’t have a clue.

  65. Terry Marter says:

    Some big cats got caught in the rain
    The tigers response was profane
    All the leopards pen got
    was the odd little spot
    But the lions all stayed dry In the mane.

  66. Tony Holmes says:

    “What you hold in your hand is a tool.
    Versatile, multi-functional.” “Cool!”
    “It can be your best friend.
    Keep it clean at this end.
    No, it’s not meant to bend – as a rule.”

  67. Lisi Nortman says:

    The Handy Shovel

    Lots of shove’lin won’t do me no harm.
    Piles of snow on this here country farm.
    It’s a fine-dandy tool,
    But I ain’t no fool.
    It’s attached to my medic alarm.

  68. Tony Holmes says:

    Said a chimp, sipping tea, to his friend,
    “A suggestion – why not buck the trend?
    Let’s spectate and be rude.
    Come out clothed and not nude.
    Make them think it’s to us they ascend.”

  69. Tony Holmes says:

    The Human Zoo – An Iversion:

    Said the lion, “Yes, we breed them on-site.
    Very handy if one wants a bite.
    This one? Yes, he’s a pet.
    Haven’t eaten him – yet.
    It amuses to know that I might.”

  70. Bob Turvey says:

    A pretty zoo-keeper called Leah
    Will often display her cute rhea.
    It’s brown and it’s round
    And it makes an odd sound
    And the crowd always give it a cheer!

  71. Bob Turvey says:

    Said a vet, “I castrate things for fun.
    And the zoo is the place where it’s done.
    Once an elephant there
    Had a rather tough pair
    And it had to be calmed with a bun.”

  72. Terry Marter says:

    A python, a cobra and adder
    Had a threesome entwined in a
    Ladder
    And an angry Taipan
    (who’s just craving a man)
    Is now sulking because they’d not had ‘er.

  73. Lisi Nortman says:

    “The Extinct Zoo”

    We traveled to Yore, walked all through
    A place that indeed, isn’t true.
    We saw dodoes that squawked.
    And lots of Great Auks.
    At the wonderful “Storybook Zoo”

  74. Lisi Nortman says:

    My “lover boy” sure makes me drool.
    Our sex life is totally cool.
    When I ask him for more,
    I’m not really sure
    Why he says, “Give me time to retool”

  75. Lisi Nortman says:

    Mad: above limerick: (L5)
    Could you please change When he says “Give me time to retool”
    To Why he says, “Give me time to retool”

    Thank you,
    Lisi

    ****
    Done.

  76. Lisi Nortman says:

    QUIZ : name the movie

    He taught at a real fancy school.
    His students all thought him a fool.
    And at the Savoy,
    He found his true joy.
    His real name was Peter O’Toole.

  77. Terry Marter says:

    The baboon’s pink bum’s always a smash hit
    With the kids who say nothing can match it.
    They just sit in the zoo
    With their bum in full view
    And then all the kids laugh when they scratch it.

  78. Lisi Nortman says:

    Movie Quiz #2

    A matinee idol, (uncool)
    Turns out to be one drunken fool.
    Benji’s out of his mind,
    Cuz now he’s assigned
    To watch over Peter O’Toole.

  79. Terry Marter says:

    I craft tomes in my garden (when sunny)
    About zoos, – my thoughts right on the money.
    But sometimes I miss
    And just end up like this
    With a lim’rick that’s not very funny.

  80. Lisi Nortman says:

    Rhyming Error! in the limerick, “The Extinct Zoo” (correction)

    We traveled to Yore, and walked through
    A place that indeed isn’t true.
    Saw a dodo that squawks,
    And lots of Great Auks.
    At the wonderful “Storybook Zoo”

  81. Tony Holmes says:

    Every man has his favourite tool
    Which he keeps bright and shiny. “So cool!”
    Golden rule! Never lend –
    Would you lose your best friend?
    Damaged tool will offend. So, be cruel.

  82. Tony Holmes says:

    Lisi’s Movie Quiz: 1

    Movie quiz number one is, “Goodbye,
    Mister Chips.” Here I’m wondering why
    You chose Peter O’Toole?
    Version not at all cool.
    Robert Donat was best, by-the-by.

    Don’t worry Lisi, penny’s dropped. Senior moment. LOL

  83. Tony Holmes says:

    Lisi’s Movie Quiz: 2

    Number two is, “My Favourite Year.”
    Not his best work since Lawrence, I fear.
    A great actor, O’Toole,
    But by drink made a fool.
    “He was lovely with Audrey.” “Here, here!”

  84. Tony Holmes says:

    “A menagerie?” “Name before zoo.
    Started out being private but grew—”
    “Into gardens, but why?”
    “Like the one at Versailles –
    Well, what else could they do with the poo?”

  85. Rudy Landesman says:

    Just horsing around

    Once again we are off to the races.
    Lisi’s leading the field by some paces.
    While the rest of us drool,
    She has Limrick, her tool
    Throwing turf from the track in our faces.

  86. Sjaan VandenBroeder says:

    At the petting zoo, there in the crowd,
    Stood a boy looking gloomy and cowed.
    “Go on, touch them,” I said,
    To which he shook his head,
    “There’s a sign that says, ‘no pets allowed.'”

  87. Tim James says:

    At the zoo I saw kids of young age
    Tease the animals into a rage.
    As my anger I fought
    I had one single thought:
    The wrong critters were inside the cage.

  88. Sjaan VandenBroeder says:

    Movie plot redux :)

    This jigsaw was quirky and cruel,
    With a passion to punish and rule.
    Add torturous terror,
    And doomed trial and error.
    This franchise? A cutting edge tool.

  89. Tony Holmes says:

    Sjaan, Saw 1 through 7 plus Jigsaw and Spiral. LOL T

  90. Lisi Nortman says:

    We use a great plumber, named Jack.
    He’s so skillful, he sure has a knack.
    He invented a tool
    That’s exceedingly cool,
    Called “Stikum To Cover My Crack”

  91. Sjaan VandenBroeder says:

    Tony —

    Now, by “saw” do you mean that you’ve seen
    One through nine? ALL that stuff on the screen?
    Frankly, I lost my cool
    With the first torture tool.
    (But, then I also fear halloween).

  92. Clay Wild says:

    After hours, the ‘tame’ zoo comes alive!
    Nothing like what you see nine-to-five
    Smart mon-KEYS spring alL-OX…
    Dance-line ‘trained’, WILD LIFE rocks!
    Hippos hip, the Roos hop, Jaguars jive!

  93. Clay Wild says:

    My ‘fastener’ deceitful? Yes, it’s true…
    Screw ‘up’ or ‘off’ was, sadly, all he knew
    Inclined plane, the simplest tool
    Just wrapped around a spool
    Takes ‘mechanical advantage’ of YOU!

  94. Clay Wild says:

    These zoo animals fit in your hand
    They appeal to sal-I-vary gland…
    Jungle beasts, as lip-smackers
    They’re all animal crackers!
    And the crowd “eats ‘em up”, as they planned!

  95. Terry Marter says:

    A do-gooder who had not a clue
    Stole albino black bear from the zoo
    He “returned” the poor soul
    To the frozen North Pole
    Where he’s shivering ‘n screaming “FUCK YOU!”

  96. Terry Marter says:

    Duel Tulle

    The zoo had invited with pride
    All to see their big ape with new bride
    The gorillas looked cool
    Wearing matching pink tulle
    Such a beautiful sight, – we all cried.

  97. Lisi Nortman says:

    For Tony , concerning “Goodbye, Mr. Chips”
    My Response:

    Dear Tony, you might be a fool.
    I had to use Peter O’Toole.
    Never thought he was great,
    But that name carries weight,
    When obeying the “limerick rule”

  98. Lisi Nortman says:

    Tony: It appears that you liked “Lawrence of Arabia”, which of course, was a
    masterpiece, but I have a problem with it.

    Dear Tony, you must understand
    (You’re hearing my secret first-hand)
    I might sound like a fool,
    I don’t like Pete O’Toole
    Cuz I have an aversion to sand.

  99. Clay Wild says:

    Zoo creatures foster fondness or fears
    What they teach us can bring us to tears
    To show what a ‘good sport’ is…
    Game of ‘tag’, take the Tortoise
    He’s been ‘it’ now for one hundred years!

  100. Clay Wild says:

    At the zoo, all the natural peace is…
    Broken up by loud monkeys called Rhesus
    Zoo-keeper, well-intended
    Went inside – bad, it ended…
    He was broken up too, yes, in pieces…

  101. Lisi Nortman says:

    Mrs. Goldberg was simply appalled
    When the ape at the zoo wildly mauled
    Her. Then became sad,
    When she realized he had
    Forgotten her, not even called.

  102. Tony Holmes says:

    Sjaan:-

    If I had any say, they’d be banned.
    Not the least bit surprised you’re unmanned.
    It’s abuse of a tool,
    Which is very uncool.
    No, I’ve never seen one. Know the brand.

  103. Tony Holmes says:

    Lisi’s secret aversion. My promise:

    It would seem in this inst, I’m the tool –
    Which in parlance UK, means a fool.
    I admit it, ashamed.
    You are not to be blamed.
    An exemplar, you stuck to the rule.

    And your secret is safe. Lips are sealed.
    Though I’m tortured, it won’t be revealed.
    I am cross with O’Toole
    For becoming a fool.
    It’s a fact that I can’t keep concealed.

  104. Juan Gamper says:

    A solitary misanthrope called Hughes
    frequently suffered the blues.
    He then visited the zoos
    from Syracuse to Vaduz
    but was never seen at the zoos of Veracruz

  105. Terry Marter says:

    She was flat-chested, big-arsed but cool
    So her husband invented a tool
    That migrated some bits
    From her arse to her tits
    Now his friends often turn up to drool.

  106. Terry Marter says:

    The TV shows all sorts of views
    Though there’s not often zoos on the news
    But the latest reports
    Cause hysterical snorts
    Seems the Meerkats discovered some booze.

  107. Sjaan VandenBroeder says:

    Did someone say ‘zoos?

    Said the Queen (irritated, imperious)
    To her Fool (slightly south of delirious),
    “When in bed you amuse
    With those stupid kazoos,
    I think, Jester, you cannot be serious.”

Leave a Reply