Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: VENT or PREVENT or EVENT or INVENT at the end of Line 1 or 2 or 5

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using VENT or PREVENT or EVENT or INVENT at the end of Line 1 or Line 2 or Line 5. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)

The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)

Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to SIBLINGS, using any rhyme scheme. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best SIBLING-related limerick.

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the winners on March 20, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, March 19 at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

Here’s my limerick:

A bully had tried to prevent
His grown daughter from dating a gent.
But the bully’s ex-bride
Took their joint daughter’s side:
“At least he (unlike YOU) isn’t bent.”

Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

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119 Responses to “Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: VENT or PREVENT or EVENT or INVENT at the end of Line 1 or 2 or 5”

  1. Marty Gerendasy says:

    Please excuse me, but I need to vent
    ‘Cause the landlord just jacked up my rent.
    What a dastardly deed
    Based on nothing but greed.
    I may have to go live in a tent.

  2. Suzanne Heymann says:

    There’s a certain political gent
    Upon holding a rally, he’s bent
    It’s one no one can save
    If we rant and we rave —
    Invent vents to prevent the event.

  3. Suzanne Heymann says:

    If a perfume you want to invent
    Could be possibly money well-spent
    You’ll see sales go sky-high
    But you just don’t know why
    Then it probably was heaven-scent.

  4. Suzanne Heymann says:

    I’ve a sister — I swear she was sent
    From the bowels of hell through some vent
    Satan’s scorched her, you see
    Just to torture poor me
    She’s the anti-Christ, to an extent.

    (true story… yeah, okay, I know… TMI)

  5. Dave Johnson says:

    The G.O.P. needs a big tent;
    Or so their analysis went.
    That’s a viable fix
    For two-oh-one-six;
    With Trump, it’s a circus event

  6. Ian Graham says:

    No alibi could she invent
    For her night in a wigwam with Brent.
    “He’s a crook,” her folks curse.
    “That makes it much worse.
    It was done with a criminal in-tent.”

  7. Ian Graham says:

    Detesting the drooling and dribbling
    Of his sweet little sibilant sibling,
    The young lad said, “Mummy,
    If I can’t hit his tummy,
    Can I give him a punch in each ribling?”

  8. Brian Allgar says:

    Scalia’s death? After such an event,
    There’s no doubt that the President’s meant
    To appoint a new judge,
    But the Senate won’t budge –
    They’d refuse both advice and consent.

  9. Brian Allgar says:

    Yes, the Donald knows how to invent
    Vicious lies to incite discontent.
    Though he’s boastful and shifty,
    His ‘groupies’ score fifty –
    That’s roughly IQ and percent.

  10. Brian Allgar says:

    Poor Jeb lost the candidacy:
    “My brother’s ingratitude? Gee!
    To help him get Dad’s
    Job, I dimpled his chads.
    But what did he do to help me?”

  11. Brian Allgar says:

    “Blow me, baby!” She knew what he meant,
    But was trying to circumvent
    His demands to fellate him,
    And said, to placate him,
    “I’ve given up meat during Lent.”

  12. Brian Allgar says:

    (Siblings … an old one)

    The twins were as like as two peas,
    Especially down on their knees.
    Which sister was sucking?
    Which one was he fucking?
    They charged him identical fees.

  13. Judith H. Block says:

    A woman tried hard to prevent
    Any doubt or slight discontent
    She showed him what bliss is
    Gave more than hot kisses
    Enticed him with erotic scent.

  14. Judith H. Block says:

    I really wish I could invent
    A way to ensnare this hot gent
    Seduce from afar
    Captivate like a star
    This quest is my ceaseless intent.

  15. Judith H. Block says:

    It’s hard not to scream out and vent
    Must share my rage, my discontent
    The GOP’s nuts,
    No if, ands, or buts
    I fear all that they represent.

  16. Judith H. Block says:

    Hey Donald, how can we prevent
    Your telling more than we consent.
    Your cock size? We don’t care!
    Shake our heads in despair;
    Demeaned by all you represent.

  17. Judith H. Block says:

    My darling, that’s not what I meant
    By positions that we could invent.
    I’m all for hot sex,
    Didn’t go into specs;
    But a pretzel was not my intent!

  18. Brian Allgar says:

    His sis was so hot, he confessed
    That he entertained thoughts of incest.
    She said, “Listen, Mister –
    Although I’m your sister,
    It’s fifty bucks, just like the rest.”

  19. Brian Allgar says:

    Two sisters had tried to invent
    A way they could both blow a gent.
    It involved tubes and pincers;
    The chap had to wince as
    He found himself twisted and bent.

  20. We came in too late to prevent
    Father Finn from the sin he was bent
    On committing. Said Finn,
    “‘Tisn’t really a sin —
    I gave up religion for Lent!”

  21. The left half of Siamese twins
    Berated her mate for his sins.
    Cried he, “How the hell
    Is a fellow to tell
    Where you end, and your sister begins?!”

  22. (Sorry, Mad — that third line above should be “How the *hell*…”)

    from MBK: Fixed.

  23. Dear Brother: I wooed Mrs. Lister,
    But her husband broke in as I kissed her.
    I’m now on the run
    In the guise of a nun…
    Yours truly, your brother the Sister.

  24. In the spring, I met young Mrs. Trent,
    Whose husband was agèd and bent.
    A tentative kiss
    Led to hours of bliss —
    Though suspicion I tried to prevent.

    I guessed no malicious intent
    Months later, when Mr. Trent sent
    Me a note to invite
    Me to join them one night —
    I agreed to attend the event.

    “I’ve challenged my cook to invent
    A new dish for you,” leered the old gent;
    “A pity my mate
    Will be joining us… late.”
    Then he tittered. Now, what had he meant?

    From the kitchen, and up through the vent
    Came a strangely familiar scent…
    Mixed with garlic.

    And leeks.

    How he laughed at my shrieks,
    As out through the window I went.

  25. Marty Gerendasy says:

    Donald Trump, who is hardly a gent
    Says that he’d be a great President.
    Can his totals be topped?
    Can he ever be stopped?
    His election we have to prevent.

  26. At the GOP’s latest event,
    They asked Donald Trump what he meant
    With his ‘cock-size’ remark.
    He replied, oozing snark:
    “Guess what holds up the party’s ‘Big Tent’?”

  27. Brian Allgar says:

    We galloped and galloped from Ghent
    To announce a delightful event,
    But our map had mistakes –
    We completely missed Aix,
    And we brought the good news to Tashkent.

  28. Brian Allgar says:

    When Marilyn stepped on the vent,
    Her skirt billowed up like a tent.
    The crowd loved the show,
    Crying out “Way to go!”,
    And that is where Kennedy went.

  29. Sure, kids are a pain in the tush…
    But try being Barbara Bush:
    At the end of your life
    As a mother and wife,
    Your illusions deflate with a whoosh,

    And as you step out of your bubble, you
    Are left with the facts. And they trouble you.
    O the stigma! The shame
    To the family name,
    That the smartest Bush brother was W!

  30. Don Lee says:

    Clinton, Sanders and Trump vent
    at each other’s throat to invent
    in the mind of the populace
    a party with a platform to save face
    on the gallows nomination event

  31. Dave Johnson says:

    My brothers named Harvey and Jake
    Were fishing one day on the lake.
    Three skiers blew past,
    All blonde and bare-assed;
    Said Harvey “four real and…two fake.”

  32. Dave Johnson says:

    A pious young lady from Kent
    Decided to give up for Lent
    Her boyfriend’s zucchini
    Instead of linguine;
    For him, a deflating event.

  33. Dave Johnson says:

    A brother and sister can squabble
    With candy, or maybe a bauble.
    Then later in life,
    What causes the strife?
    Inheritance they get to gobble.

  34. Lisi Nortman says:

    I must vigorously vent
    Concerning what my wife spent
    On “Ageless Face Cream”
    To achieve her ultimate dream
    This crap ain’t worth a damn red cent

  35. Lisi Nortman says:

    I’m one of a triplet, you see
    Count us: one, two, three
    I used to complain to my mother
    There wasn’t another
    Person to play with me

  36. yt cai says:

    Sister Jane knew from the advent
    She wouldn’t fit in at the convent
    Was put on report
    ‘Cause habit was short
    And kneeling was a nightly event

  37. yt cai says:

    The Donald has a female sib
    Who judges as a flaming lib
    While there on the bench
    She can smell the stench
    Each time he comes up with a fib

  38. yt cai says:

    Last night at a gala event
    The MC was a malcontent
    He became very rude
    Our press was unglued
    Trump’s ratings still went up 10%???

  39. Dave Johnson says:

    The Donald decided to rent
    A town for his campaign event.
    Keeping locals away,
    He paid for their stay;
    Tijuana is where they were sent.

  40. Lisi Nortman says:


    I must vehemently vent
    Regarding what my wife spent
    On “Eternally Young” cream
    To fulfill her ideal dream
    That crap isn’t worth a damn red cent

  41. Lisi Nortman says:

    Every time my brother Pete
    Had a race with me in the street
    Even if I won
    The sport called “Outrun”
    He always invariably called me a cheat

  42. Dave Johnson says:

    Two brothers named Jason and Kevin
    Show up at the gym before seven.
    They don’t like to sweat;
    Any six-pack they get
    Will come from a 7-Eleven.

  43. Lisi Nortman says:

    I’m one of triplets, you see
    Just count us: one, two, three
    I used to complain to my mother
    That there never was another
    Person around to play with me

  44. Lisi Nortman says:

    My landlord gave me a way to prevent
    Not paying my monthly rent
    Now I pay
    In “another way”
    And I’m In Like Flynn with that naughty gent

  45. Tim James says:

    Two brothers set out to invent
    A machine that could fly. So it went:
    Though they had the Wright stuff,
    They had troubles enough.
    In the ground they left many a dent.

  46. Dave Johnson says:

    Sherry and her sister Mary
    Wed brothers named Jerry and Gary.
    They both had a son;
    It’s surprising no one
    They christened them Terry and Cary.

  47. Dave Johnson says:

    The elites will never consent
    To The Donald as our president.
    They’re setting up shops
    And pulling out stops;
    Trumpageddon they have to prevent.

  48. There’s just no way to prevent
    Who will win the final event
    If it’s not your man
    Here’s a plan:
    Get on a plane and move to Tashkent

  49. Dave Johnson says:

    My brother and sister and me
    Were born in the land of the free.
    That gives us the right
    To stand up and fight
    A fascist who mocks liberty.

  50. Raphael Harris says:

    Hurry please or we’ll miss the event,
    And then have to sleep in a tent,
    But if we can find guys,
    Who’ll pay for our thighs,
    We might make enough for the rent.

  51. Brian Allgar says:

    Romulus and Remus

    We were chucked in the Tiber to die,
    But a wolf got us out safe and dry.
    She became like a mother
    To me and my brother –
    She was kind, but she smelt rather high.

    We decided to build our own city,
    But couldn’t agree, more’s the pity,
    On the choice of the site,
    And it led to a fight
    Which I won; it was not very pretty.

    So Remus was dead macaroni.
    I founded Rome all on my owny.
    The centuries rolled by …
    The results make me cry;
    All that effort for what? Berlusconi!

  52. I look just like my brother Paul
    We have green eyes and we’re very tall
    Our parents are midgets
    Who are missing some digits
    Yet we look like the man who “paid a call”

  53. I arrived in the month of July
    Then came by brother, whose name is Cy
    I am four
    He’s two years more
    Everyone smiles when they hear “why”

  54. Dave Johnson says:

    Two sisters – Melissa and Kate
    Went out on a double blind date.
    The fellows they met
    Were hoping to get
    Their Mix ‘n Match family rate.

  55. Suzanne Heymann says:

    I just knew it! That rally event
    Was just bound to have protesters vent
    I am psychic, you see
    You might want to ask me
    Who will be this year’s new president.

  56. Suzanne Heymann says:

    If a forest fire you won’t prevent
    You’re an idiot, hundred percent!
    Your campfires, your smoking
    Should kill you with choking
    If you aren’t careful, get bent!

    So if you survive THAT incident
    It’s just too late to say “I repent”
    I hope Smoky the Bear
    Eats you up, hide and hair
    And that meal is your final event!

  57. Suzanne Heymann says:

    I complained to my father and mother
    “Why did you not make me a brother?
    A permanent blister
    Is my evil sister
    I hope you don’t make me another!”

    If you think boys create as much gloom
    That is something you’d wrongly assume
    ‘Cause when boys hurt girls, fully
    They’re labelled a bully
    And promptly meet up with their doom.

    An only child’s life kept at bay
    I was tempted to just run away
    No one to abruptly
    Try hard to disrupt me
    Or could interrupt me each day.

    In solitude, there is no strife
    That is what I have sought my whole life –
    Just peace and some quiet
    No noise, nor a riot
    No air you can cut with a knife.

    So if your kids do not get along
    Flush out bullies, find out who is wrong
    Then teach them that they
    Cannot just get away
    With unfairness, or punishment’s strong.

    Well, if it were all up to me
    I would send her to boot camp with glee
    Then I’d ship off that beast
    To the great Middle East
    Where I know she at least lets me be!

  58. Suzanne Heymann says:

    Two jewel thieves crawled through the vent
    Motion sensor alarms to prevent
    But the one lethal gaffe
    Which would cut them in half
    Laser-phaser beam – money well-spent!

  59. Lisi Nortman says:

    If you’re trying to prevent
    A pregnancy without consent
    Say you have “your friend”
    And in the end
    You’ll never again see that handsome gent

  60. Suzanne Heymann says:

    I bet you at least have one sibling
    Who pesters and never stops quibbling
    You might kill ’em, you fear
    If the brat gets too near
    Like a bug in your ear, always nibbling.

    If that happens, oh well, what the hell
    You’ll inhabit a comfortable cell
    And I do guarantee
    Food and housing is free
    I think you’ll agree that it’s swell.

  61. Dave Johnson says:

    Poor Mable and her sister May;
    They’re having a terrible day.
    News cameras hovered;
    A tow truck recovered
    Their car from a storefront on Clay.

  62. Suzanne Heymann says:

    Yeah, that store they smashed into on Clay
    Sold more than just nice lingerie
    Some ‘aids’ for the boys
    Like inflatable toys
    Just flew out from the window’s display.

    The dildos and edible thongs
    All covered the hood, piled in throngs
    Some folks thought it neat
    What had rolled to the street
    Were some boob mugs and pecker-shaped bongs.

    The cops were just having a riot
    Their laughter could not be kept quiet
    A condom dispenser
    Made things much intenser
    It hit the store’s dense clerk nearby it.

    Good things happen from such a bad goof
    And here’s the indelible proof:
    When repairs to the shop
    Were done bottom to top
    Sales skyrocketed right through the roof.

  63. Dave Johnson says:

    The sisters were always discreet;
    ‘Till they drove that old car down the street.
    Then it swerved to the right;
    A hilarious sight
    When those dildos were found on the seat.

  64. Tim James says:

    A sailor lost ev’ry last cent
    But the sex was a signal event.
    While they rolled, yawed and pitched
    She got greatly enriched
    While he, like his money, got spent.

  65. Don Lee says:

    Clinton, Sanders and Trump vent
    at each other’s throat to invent
    in the mind’s of the populace
    a party with a platform to save face
    on the gallows nomination event

    The entertainer tried to prevent
    the loudmouth from ruining the event
    with a quick wit
    like bridle and bit
    ran the blowhard outside to vent

    The purpose of the event
    find a pillar from heaven sent
    to solve the country’s problems
    get attitude out of the doldrums
    but the competition became hell-bent

    If someone greater than me would invent
    the answer to life’s curious events
    we would all be rich and happy
    but that’s been done and it became slappy
    until someone else opened a new vent

  66. (I think I’ve used these inner lines before, but they work in context…)

    He ate three burritos, did Kent;
    Then off to the op’ra he went,
    And thus, in the pause
    Just before the applause,
    Had a Loud and Revolting Event.

  67. Suzanne Heymann says:

    Re: Dave Johnson’s two sisters (cont’d)

    Being widows, you can’t really blame them
    And I wouldn’t be one to defame them
    Though visuals are scary
    It’s just temporary
    As waves of relief overcame them.

  68. Dave Johnson says:

    So Mable and May have been caught
    With the playthings that they could have bought
    Had they walked through the door
    Instead of just floor
    The gas pedal over the thought.

  69. P Diane Schneider says:

    And what did he give up for Lent
    The Donald who so loves to vent?
    Invective and ire?
    Of that he will tire
    And don’t expect him to repent

  70. Suzanne Heymann says:

    Re: Dave Johnson’s two sisters (cont’d)

    Their pensions may have been too meager
    For a wee spark of joy they were eager
    Filled the hole in their life
    Being nobody’s wife
    They don’t need a rap sheet to beleaguer.

  71. Dave Johnson says:

    There’s such a malodorous bent
    To his blather at every event.
    His crowd laps it up
    Like some brain-damaged pup;
    They love this despicable gent.

    But their cheering is never enough;
    For him, that’s just pocket-change stuff.
    The White House he cries
    Is the ultimate prize
    That he’ll dump when the going gets tough.

  72. P Diane Schneider says:

    He brags that the millions he’s spent
    Allowed him to make a big dent
    In delegates earned
    With money to burn
    So don’t you come in here to vent!

  73. Amy Simcik says:

    A fiasco I tried to prevent
    By retrieving some money I’d lent
    But the bitch wouldn’t budge
    She held on with a grudge
    To every single last cent.

  74. P Diane Schneider says:

    My brother (the jokester) was sent
    A holiday gift that was bent
    I don’t mean to say
    T’was bent quite THAT WAY
    She limped in too late for the event.

  75. Dave Johnson says:

    Mable and May (cont’d)

    Those sisters, we’re glad to report
    Took a bus to a naked resort.
    They were looking for beaus
    Without any clothes
    But frustrated – both came up short.

  76. Suzanne Heymann says:

    The shopkeeper gave them commission
    Since his sales spiked from their demolition
    The two gals brought some toys
    To allure the old boys
    So now Mable and May have stopped wishin’.

  77. Judith H. Block says:

    “Messy desk, Creative mind”, let me vent-
    Most plaques, I just really lament.
    I like that one you see
    Because it screams, “ME”!
    No inspiration, just love the content!

  78. Tim James says:

    A Biblical figure named Cain
    Had a brother who gave him a pain.
    So he took his bro’s life,
    Ran away, took a wife.
    Whom he married, though, none will explain.

    (Cain, as a son of Adam and Eve, would have had only sisters to choose from for a wife. Somehow that gets glossed over….)

  79. Allen Wilcox says:

    It was sad that he could not prevent
    The odor he spread when he went.
    To complain was insane.
    Just ask Lois Lane –
    You don’t mess around with “Clark Kent”.

  80. “You don’t have to be Aristotle,”
    Said Mabel, “to know that the throttle
    Is the reason we crashed.”
    Said her sister, “You’re smashed!”
    And pointedly held up the bottle.

    “Oh, rot! It’s the throttle!” said Mabel;
    “The steering wheel, too, isn’t stable.”
    “It’s you, I would say,
    Who’s not stable,” said May,
    “This is seventy proof, by the label.”

    There’s sex toys (too many to tally)
    Spread out from the street to the alley —
    There’s lotions, and lubes,
    And inflatable boobs,
    And more dicks than a Donald Trump rally.

    But the spot where the girls took their knocks
    Is off by a couple of blocks
    From the place to which they
    Had been driving that day:
    The junction of Cummings and Cox.

  81. Lisi Nortman says:

    It’ impossible to prevent
    Not eating chocolate during lent
    So I gave up beans
    Which surely means
    I won’t come down with “Godiva Torment”

  82. Mark Kane says:

    They’re angry, they can’t pay their rent.
    And their savings, it’s not worth a cent.
    But now’s the big test,
    Will they vote for the best,
    Or just squander their vote, as the vent!

  83. Dave Johnson says:

    Suzanne and Will T. – Mabel, May and I thank you; those are epic!

    BTW, my original post was inspired by an event that happened at
    my wife’s real estate office. She was on the phone when there was a loud crash and a car came halfway through the doorway. It was driven by a lady
    unfamiliar with her new vehicle. She was ok but obviously rattled.

    The impact caused her wig to slide down over her face. One of the agents said later that when he came running up, he thought a poodle was driving the car.

  84. Fred Bortz says:

    We learned TEPCO didn’t prevent
    The Japanese meltdown event.
    With brains of salami,
    They bet “no tsunami.”
    Alas, that’s not how the things went.

    So I hope you’ll allow me to vent.
    They were warned that unless dough was spent,
    They’d be known as the masters
    Of nuc’lear disasters.
    Now in jail cells, their years might be spent.

    Fukushima Nuclear Disaster

  85. Dave Johnson says:

    One pair of musical brothers
    Entertained us more than the others.
    We’d heard Don and Phil,
    Then Bobby and Bill;
    But our laughter belonged to the Smothers.

  86. Suzanne Heymann says:


    Your first limerick that sparked this ‘story’ reminded me of an accident that happened to a sex shop in my province in May 2014. In Vancouver, a truck backing up in an alley hit some power lines attached to the building of the sex shop, sending a pile of bricks, metal and wood tumbling to the sidewalk and ripping the roof apart in the process. The street was closed until the mess got sorted out. It became the butt of many jokes after that.

    In your story, the part about the wig had me in stitches. With a full bladder, no doubt. All I’ll say is thank goodness for maxipads.

  87. Suzanne Heymann says:


    There you sat in the back seat that day
    Of the car owned by Mabel and May
    You were a witness
    And you got scared shitless
    When they hit the store’s front display.

    So how do I know you were there?
    Your account of the details you share
    Tell us now, why did you
    Even ride with those two?
    I heard you hitchhiked on a dare.
    (or did you get paid by the pair?)

  88. Lisi Nortman says:


    It’s impossible to prevent
    EATING chocolate during lent
    So I gave up beans
    Which surely means
    I won’t come down with “Godiva Torment”

  89. Dave Johnson says:

    Coming out for The Donald’s event,
    They honored that horrible gent.
    Shouting “Give ’em the boot!”
    With a right-hand salute;
    Then back to their caverns they went.

  90. Dave Johnson says:

    “Brothers and sisters REPENT!”
    He yelled at his gospel event.
    It was later revealed
    That donations were peeled
    From a lap dancer’s G-string for rent.

  91. Dave Johnson says:

    A hottie named Lisa St. John
    Went tubbing with Justin and Ron.
    They remained in the soak
    Through the very last stroke;
    Then she called up their cousin named Sean.

  92. Dave Johnson says:

    So much of this campaign is spent
    Watching The Donald foment
    Carnage and chaos;
    Our news channels play us
    A slow-motion train wreck event.

  93. Young Jack was a fellow from Bicester
    Who got a venereal blicester.
    The doctor who told him
    Took time out to scold him —
    He’d noticed the same on Jack’s sicester.

  94. Fred Bortz says:

    A Pronoun-ced Transformation

    He once had a tomboyish sister
    So commanding that none would resist her.
    Then his sib stopped pretending.
    “I am done gender bending,”
    He declared. “You must now call me Mister.”

  95. Tim James says:

    The round room was too hot, so they sent
    For a gal of industrious bent.
    With curved ducts in the wall
    She could cool the whole hall.
    That hot air she could thus circum-vent.

  96. Dave Johnson says:

    The wrecking ball known as The Donald
    Keeps trashing the party of Ronald.
    It’s been clear for a while
    His governing style
    Would make heroes of Cruz and McConnell

  97. Suzanne Heymann says:

    A student caused much discontent
    To see how his teacher would vent
    She pulled out a strap
    Bent him over her lap
    And proceeded to slap with intent.

    Well, that was an ev’ryday e-vent
    In an era of strict rule enforcement
    Nowadays they would sue
    The pants right off of you
    And you just might be held in confinement.

  98. Suzanne Heymann says:

    The abusive man tried to prevent
    Her from hiding from all his torment
    He would warn her about
    How he’d kill her, no doubt
    If she left him without his consent.

    Well, necessity made her invent
    A sure way to have peace, be content
    So she axed his throat, deep
    In his nocturnal sleep
    And into a meat-grinder he went.

  99. Suzanne Heymann says:

    If there’s something new I could invent
    That made billions, I would be hellbent
    To help poor, sick and crappy
    Lives, making them happy
    By then, all the money is spent.

    Then maybe I should just prevent
    Losing ev’ry last little red cent
    Put a million aside
    So that I don’t backslide
    Into lacking the funds to pay rent.

  100. Allen Wilcox says:

    “It was what I was trying to prevent –
    Going into the hole where I went.
    It wasn’t my goal.
    I missed the right hole.
    It’s the way that my damn thing is bent.”

  101. Allen Wilcox says:

    A lad met a lass from Kilkenny.
    He asked for her thoughts for a penny,
    But try as she might,
    As day became night,
    It turned out she didn’t have any.

    However, she didn’t prevent
    A fragrance that clearly she meant
    To waft over his way.
    He was left to assay –
    Was the scent that she sent worth a cent?

  102. Lisi Nortman says:

    Some people shout and shriek and vent
    But there is no definite way to prevent
    Who ultimately will win
    So take it on the chin
    It’s always the husband who pays the rent

  103. Lisi Nortman says:

    Triplets always seem to find room
    To roll around in the radiant gloom
    But they eventually cry
    Because they have to say, “Bye”
    To their favorite residence: mommy’s womb

  104. Dave Johnson says:

    With places named Sisters and Brothers,
    Our Sweet Home is unlike the others.
    Eugene OR John Day
    Could be Boring at play,
    Having Agness and Florence for mothers.

  105. Kirk Miller says:

    To the prom all the school students went.
    Queen and king were announced, and it meant
    Something special to them.
    It was really a gem
    And was called high school’s crowning event.

  106. Kirk Miller says:

    Anniversary for gal and gent
    Is their silver one. Day will be spent
    Reminiscing about
    How their marriage worked out.
    Celebration’s a sterling event.

  107. Kirk Miller says:

    To a clinic on tennis I went.
    The whole time of the meeting was spent
    Teaching drop shots, and so
    As you probably know,
    It was seen as a network event.

  108. Kirk Miller says:

    “My son’s sibling’s in jail,” said their mother.
    “He’s a criminal, but both my other
    Sons are chefs, can’t get jobs.
    But they’re honest,” she sobs.
    “So you can’t judge a cook by his brother.”

  109. Kirk Miller says:

    The robot had fam’ly. A sister
    Was charming. You couldn’t resist ’er.
    They shared mother, but dad
    Wasn’t same, so the cad
    Would call his young sibling trans-sister.

  110. David Reddekopp says:

    There’s naught I can to to prevent
    What the skies, I surmise, have now sent
    The snow is now falling
    I find it appalling
    It’s the winter of my discontent.

  111. Suzanne Heymann says:

    It sounds like you’re trying to vent
    How your mind’s undergoing torment
    If the sun fills the skies
    And the temperatures rise
    Would that cheer you up to an extent?

  112. Marty McCullen says:

    I’m sorry, if I need to vent.
    I should give that up during Lent.
    That’s why I’m drinking,
    Instead of thinking.
    Sometimes I really need to vent.

  113. Suzanne Heymann says:

    To David R. and Marty M.:

    What YOU need to do is invent
    A diversion to help circumvent
    The blues inside YOU
    (A pole dancer will do)
    To dissolve the desire to lament.

    If you two are just lonely misters
    And blown by emotional twisters
    Your problems are solved
    Not too much is involved –
    Rosie Palm and her five lovely sisters.

  114. Byron Ives says:

    Upon my young sis, has he preyed?
    She says ‘love’, but has she been played?
    Has she been defiled?
    Is she now with child?
    Was she simply laid or waylaid?

  115. Byron Ives says:

    My brother had just left his wife
    I said, “That’s the end of that strife!
    But don’t worry, Earl,
    You’ll find a new girl,
    Then you’ll have a new leash on life.”

  116. Lisi Nortman says:

    We were sleeping near the bedroom vent
    When we noticed a fragrant, sweet-smelling scent
    It was our blooming mimosa
    So we moved the bed CLOSA
    And dreamed of flowers to our utmost content

  117. Lisi Nortman says:

    People shriek, shout, and vent
    But there is no scientific way to prevent
    Who will win
    Take it on the chin
    It’s usually the husband who pays the rent

  118. Dave Johnson says:

    The Donald has Twitter to vent
    And show all the energy spent
    Reacting to slights
    Then stirring up fights;
    His thumbs are offensively bent.

  119. madkane says:

    Thanks so much everyone for another fun two weeks of limericks. This Limerick-Off is officially over. And the winner is…

    Congratulations to our Limerick-Off Award Winner, the Sibling-Themed Limerick Winner, the Facebook Friends’ Choice Award Winner, and to the Honorable Mention winners: Limerick of the Week 248.

    But you can still have lots of limerick fun because a new Limerick-Off has just begun: Limerick-Off Laid.