Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: FLAKE at the end of Line 1 or 2 or 5

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick using FLAKE at the end of Line 1 or Line 2 or Line 5. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)

The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner December 13th, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, December 12, at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

Here’s my limerick:

A gal who was rather a flake
Always screwed up whatever she’d bake,
And whenever she’d try
To feed someone her pie,
Their response would be, “This takes the cake.”

Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same rhyme word and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

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114 Responses to “Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: FLAKE at the end of Line 1 or 2 or 5”

  1. Jesse Levy says:

    A guy who was really a snake
    Took a girl out who was a true flake
    He took out his weiner
    She changed her demeanor
    And laughed at it, for goo’ness sake!

  2. Jese Levy says:

    One night while reading Blake
    I noticed a spelling mistake
    Instead of “the same”
    It said “down the lame.”
    The typesetter sure was a flake.

  3. Michele Brenton says:

    There once was a silly young hake
    Who fancied a swim in a lake
    But salt fish shouldn’t oughta
    Try and live in fresh water
    That’s a fatal mistake, Hake you flake!

  4. David Reddekopp says:

    A vacation my grandpa did take
    Hiroshima, the choice they would make
    “Having fun?” asked his mom
    He replied, “It’s the bomb!”
    Soon his skin was beginning to flake.

  5. Brian Allgar says:

    Her paint is beginning to flake,
    And her rear end is starting to shake.
    Though she’s showing her age,
    I’m not turning the page –
    I still love her to bits, my old brake.

  6. Ailsa McKillop says:

    It’s better than chips or some cake
    Is an æstival treat that I take:
    A “99” cone
    (The name source unknown)—
    Of soft ice with a Cadbury’s Flake.

  7. Brian Allgar says:

    It was snowing, huge flake after flake,
    And my windscreen was growing opaque.
    She was giving good head,
    But she bit me instead
    When I hit the emergency brake.

  8. Brian Allgar says:

    The hooker said “Gimme a break!
    My lips are beginning to flake.
    I’ve been blowing for hours,
    I’m losing my powers
    Of charming that old one-eyed snake.”

  9. Brian Allgar says:

    Every guy in the band was a flake,
    And they made an appalling mistake
    In Dubai for a gig
    When they opened it big
    With a song called “Roll, Rattle, and Sheikh.”

  10. Brian Allgar says:

    With the mind of a venomous snake,
    Hair the colour of stale carrot-cake,
    And the face of a snowman,
    Let voters say “No, man!”
    And hope he will melt like a flake.

  11. Ailsa McKillop says:

    The sensational news did not flake
    The Countess was put in a quake!
    Poor Sven was a dupe
    In a mean tabloid scoop
    By Mahmood, that snake, the “Fake Sheikh”.

    Mazher Mahmood was an undercover reporter for the tacky “News of the World” former Sunday newspaper in Britain and would often don an Arab sheikh disguise to deceive his interviewees, leading to the sobriquet of Fake Sheikh. His targets included Sophie, Countess of Wessex, the wife of Prince Edward, and the then England coach, Sven-Göran Eriksson. The latter was the victim of an elaborate and extremely costly scam at a luxury hotel in Dubai, in which he was tricked into making some injudicious remarks about various England players.

  12. Jese Levy says:

    A Rep from AZ, name of Flake,
    Was on a Congressional break
    His only real platform?
    To keep his girl’s “cat” warm.
    He’s just a disgusting old rake.

  13. Judith H. Block says:

    Each Repub aspirant is a flake
    Arrgh, GOP! Give us a break!
    In despair, though I cry,
    They continue to vie,
    One appalling and large bellyache.

  14. Judith H. Block says:

    A really good pie crust should flake,
    Same with strudel, so much is at stake!
    All buttery and fragile,
    A cut must be agile!
    But you want it moist with a cake.

  15. Judith H. Block says:

    In undies as thin as a flake
    Hot guys, OMG, such beefcake!
    Their look sure engages,
    Just calendar pages.
    So there’s really nothing at stake.

  16. Joyce Smith says:

    I love to eat coconut flake
    Into the dessert it must bake
    My husband hates it
    Always debates it
    But I win ’cause I bake the cake

  17. In Chicago when I see the first flake
    I know I’m not getting a break
    I get out my shovel
    I don’t look for trouble
    I just hand it to my husband, Jake

  18. Daisy Mae Simon says:

    Our neighbor is nice, but a flake
    Each December she makes us fruitcake
    We smile- she means well
    We re-gift it – Don’t tell.
    To a GOP-Tea Party snake

  19. Jenny was the ultimate flake
    We all took a ride to the lake
    She took out her bait
    And said to her date:
    “I’m trying to catch a steak”

  20. Daisy Mae Simon says:

    If you enter the Publishers Sweepstakes
    Buying up magazines galore, you’re a flake
    Because when you don’t win
    And you enter again
    You cause periodic(al) hoarding outbreaks

  21. Kevin Ahern says:

    I think my best friend is a flake
    One day he decided to take
    A carton of boron
    The guy is a moron
    It was an elementary mistake

  22. Marty McCullen says:

    The snow, it fell down flake by flake,
    As silent as some sneaky snake.
    With nary a sound,
    It fell, pound by pound,
    And looks like a vanilla cake.

  23. yt cai says:

    Despite all the measures he’d take,
    Jake’s dandruff continued to flake.
    He discovered the flaw
    Why his scalp was so raw–
    He was combing his hair with a rake.

  24. yt cai says:

    Some think that Ben Carson’s a flake
    And his running is one big mistake
    Don’t sell short the masses
    Since so many are asses
    Despite most of his life has been fake

  25. Ira Bloom says:

    A grey goose, a bit of a flake,
    Humped a duck in the dark, by mistake.
    “I don’t want to pander,
    You stupid old gander,”
    The duck said. “Besides, I’m a drake.”

  26. Bob Dvorak says:

    Had a dream I got bit by a snake.
    I woke up, massive pain, monstrous ache.
    But the snake was, alas,
    One named Trump. Total ass.
    Can the right wing yield nought but this flake?

  27. not a duplicate!

    Jenny was the ultimate flake
    We all took a ride to the beautiful lake
    She took out her bait
    And said to her date:
    “I’m trying to catch a Porterhouse steak”

  28. Some people call me a dizzy flake
    I think, however, they’ve made a mistake
    I went to the party
    With my boyfriend Marty
    So what if I forgot it was an Irish wake

  29. scott says:

    this morning I feel like a flake
    in knowing I’m guilty to take
    a good thing for granted
    and feel disenchanted
    for taking a limerick break

  30. My family says that I’m a flake
    But wait till they taste my chocolate cake
    I add ground beef
    And a dried bay leaf
    Now they’ll appreciate that I can bake

  31. Rich (In Name Only) in Reno says:

    Zarathustra, says Nietzsche, thus spake
    And through morality cut a wide wake
    Urbermench, it seems
    Was the man of his dreams
    (Our Old Fred was a bit of a flake)

  32. Zelick Mendelovich says:

    When Gordon called Bessy a flake 
    she planted a bomb in his cake 
    it went off – CA – BOOM 
    when he entered the room 
    pretending to dance to ‘swan – lake’ 

  33. Zelick Mendelovich says:

    When Gordon called Bessy a flake 
    she planted a bomb in his cake 
    so, starting to hum 
    while scratching his bum 
    set off the fuse in the bake. 

  34. Zelick Mendelovich says:

    When Philip called Fanny a flake 
    she made him a “hot” birthday cake 
    she cared not a sliver 
    Smoldering shimmer
    Left by his body in wake

  35. David Reddekopp says:

    Billy Ray was a bit of a flake
    And his mullet? To me, a bit fake
    This I’ll state from the start
    But I won’t tell his heart
    That will make it start aching, and break.

  36. Mark Kane says:

    A stripper leaped out of the cake
    With icing quite dry. Would it flake?
    But the men didn’t mind,
    As they viewed her behind,
    Enjoying her shimmy and shake.

  37. Judith H. Block says:

    The dangerous lead-filled paint flake
    Child tempting, tastes like chocolate cake.
    Banned since seventy-eight,
    Chinese toys still await.
    This still exists. What a heartache!

  38. David Reddekopp says:

    Mad, in my Billy Ray limerick, could you change L5 to “That will make it start aching, and break”?

    (From MBK: Done.)

  39. Far be it I’d made a mistake
    to try to move snow with a rake
    But I’d imbibed the bubbly
    It felt sorta lovely
    Admitted I I moved not a flake

  40. When one’s reputation’s at stake
    One should avoid one mistake
    However it’s true
    That if one more makes two
    You’re safe, you crafty snake flake

  41. She spake, “For you I’ve male a cake”
    I knew I’d really have to fake
    enjoyment ,as I gave a shiver
    hoping to receive a sliver
    Devoured it to the final flake

  42. Kirk Miller says:

    “From punning on snowstorms, please take
    A breather, and give me a break!”
    My wife said to me.
    It’s obvious she
    Must think that her husband’s a flake.

  43. Dave Johnson says:

    It started with one little flake
    From the number a blizzard would make.
    All covered in white;
    That glorious sight
    Recalled as we lie here and bake.

  44. Dave Johnson says:

    The Trumpster, now make no mistake
    Is not just some blowhard or flake.
    His message is clear
    For the morons who cheer
    While a black man is stomped like a snake.

  45. Judith H. Block says:

    The gal from Nantucket’s no flake,
    Panting fellows are left in her wake.
    She’s smart and so hot,
    Guys had her. Or not!
    ‘Cause her proud reputation’s at stake.

  46. Everyone thinks that I’m a flake
    But no one has a beau like Jake
    He’s got real class
    A real cute ass
    And hasn’t figured out my parts are fake

  47. Dave Johnson says:

    An ice fisherman on the lake
    Was happy with nary a flake.
    But he ran out of luck
    Getting back in his truck
    When climate change gave him a break.

  48. Jon Gearhart says:

    Now Bob is a bit of a flake.
    Goes to sea in a rowboat (a caique).
    O’er the side he goes golfin’
    Hits eggs at the doplhin
    Who’re caught in his fin eggin’ wake.

    Please delete the first one, Mad. TIA!

    (From MBK: Done.)

  49. Only a complete flake
    Would order a Salisbury steak
    It’ a hamburger with gravy
    Which began in the Navy
    It’s not a steak; it’s a fake

  50. A gal who was rather a flake
    had a habit of teasing a snake
    sashaying she hissed
    It struck out and kissed
    Leaving a stunned flake in its wake

  51. David Reddekopp says:

    If giving your own head a shake
    Means your shirt now shows many a flake
    Here’s the answer for you:
    Anti-dandruff shampoo
    Rinse, lather, repeat; it should take.

  52. daisy mae simon says:

    The worst case of dry scalp and flake
    Followed one really massive headache
    Not even Tegrin
    Could help poor Ann Boleyn
    Once the King chose her head to forsake

  53. Brian Allgar says:

    “My commandments are these”, the Lord spake.
    There were ten massive tablets to take.
    When he got down the hill,
    One now read “THOU SHALT … KILL”,
    For the stone was beginning to flake.

  54. Brian Allgar says:

    The bimbo was cooking a steak
    For a strict vegetarian flake.
    He had doubts. “Is it veggie?”
    “Of course it is, Reggie –
    Cows only eat grass, for God’s sake!”

  55. Stephen B. Fleming says:

    It grievously makes my soul ache
    When I behold many a flake
    That aspire to lead,
    A middling breed,
    Of pandering, slithering snake.

  56. I glanced outside and saw a flake
    I mentioned it to my husband, Blake
    He said, “Stop looking out
    Because no doubt
    It’s another jerk, naked in the lake”

  57. Jesse Frankovich says:

    As for snow, when they say that each flake
    Is unique, I would think they must make
    An assumption or two.
    I mean, what could you do
    To be sure, and how long would it take?

  58. To make a proper Christmas cake
    You must combine a flake
    Of arsenic and old lace
    And a teaspoon of mace
    Then run like hell like a Mamba snake

  59. Raphael Harris says:

    There once was a gibbon named Flake,
    Whose chimpanzee wife baked a cake,
    He grabbed a big hunk,
    His wife said, ‘you skunk,
    Our marriage is all gibbon take.’

  60. David Reddekopp says:

    When will winter give us a break?
    The ground’s covered; so many a flake
    It’s really a bummer
    I wish it was summer
    Can’t get here too soon for my sake.

  61. not a duplicate

    To make a proper Christmas cake
    You must combine a tiny flake
    Of arsenic and old lace
    With a teaspoon of mace
    Then run like hell like a Mamba snake

  62. Mark Kane says:

    An online friend of mine planted the idea of ‘Chris Christie’ instead of a ‘Stripper’ popping out of a cake (please don’t ask how or why this happened) which resulted in this variation on my previous ‘Limerick’:

    Chris Christie leaped out of the cake
    With icing quite dry. Would it flake?
    I thought they’d go blind,
    As they viewed his behind.
    A clear case of mistaken beefsteak.

  63. David Reddekopp says:

    As a cook, I am often a flake
    For the wrong cut of meat I will make
    In my hurry and haste
    Now it’s going to waste
    I’m afraid I have made a missed steak.

  64. Stephen B. Fleming says:

    It grievously makes my soul ache
    When I behold so many a flake
    That aspire to lead,
    A middling breed,
    Of pandering, slithering snake. EDITED

  65. Kirk Miller says:

    Kleptomaniac’s really a flake;
    Goes to bakeries and likes to take
    An item that’s frosted,
    Then run ’til exhausted.
    So the guy really does take the cake.

  66. Dave Johnson says:

    This singer will shimmy and shake;
    She’ll slither around like a snake.
    The massive crowd cheers;
    Miley Cyrus appears
    In an outfit the size of a flake.

  67. Dave Johnson says:

    A jerk or a no-nothing flake;
    A bully or cartoon-haired fake.
    Those who vote G.O.P.
    So delighted to see
    There are wonderful choices to make.

  68. When we in Chicago see a flake
    We know we’re in for a belly ache
    So we go to O’hare
    And fly to where
    We can get a tan and earn our break

  69. Some people think I’m a flake
    But I know they’re making a mistake
    The invitation said, “The Ritz”
    And they called me a “ditz’
    Just because I went to the Drake

  70. not a duplicate
    Some people think I’m a flake
    But I know they’ve made a mistake
    The invitation said, “The Ritz”
    And they called me a “ditz’
    Just because I went to the Drake

  71. not a duplicate
    When in Chicago we see a flake
    We’re in for a belly ache
    So we go to O’hare
    And fly to where
    We can get a tan and have a break

  72. Suzanne Heymann says:

    I’m in awe of how nature can take
    Different atoms together and make
    An invention so smart
    Pristine beauty and art
    In a crystalline perfect snow flake.

  73. Suzanne Heymann says:

    My self-esteem’s suff’ring a break
    I feel like a worthless old flake
    My fridge door, when parted
    My rump roast just farted
    At me; it’s more than I can take.

  74. Suzanne Heymann says:

    A husband who was a big flake
    Asked his wife, “Where the hell’s my beef steak?!”
    Answered she, “I don’t know
    But it’s missing below
    Grow a new one and don’t bellyache!”

  75. Suzanne Heymann says:

    All my exes – they each were a flake
    ‘Cause they never would give, only take
    Being nobody’s wife
    Is the best kind of life
    With a peace that nobody can break.

  76. Suzanne Heymann says:

    I once ate a whole chocolate cake
    Now I feel like a glutton, a flake
    Down the hall I would roll
    To my porcelain bowl
    And upchuck from this bad bellyache.

  77. Suzanne Heymann says:

    With an STD nasty outbreak
    Just watch that your skin doesn’t flake
    Mind rashes and lesions
    In all nether regions
    And anywhere else it might ache.

  78. Dave Johnson says:

    Average White Band’s “Cut the Cake”
    Is not about what you can bake.
    The confection they’re slicing
    Has no need for icing
    And hopefully, nothing to flake.

  79. Suzanne Heymann says:

    Global warming is something to take
    Pretty seriously, goodness sake!
    If there’s no solution
    To fight off pollution
    It threatens Earth’s ev’ry snow flake.

    The cold ice, preserves ev’ry flake
    Of the snow that may melt in its wake
    Conserving its beauty –
    Is that not our duty
    When life on this planet’s at stake?

  80. Suzanne Heymann says:

    To make the best pie crust, you take
    Some vinegar before you bake
    Add that to the dough
    And you’ll soon come to know
    It’s so good right down to the last flake.

    (it’s true; look it up)

  81. Suzanne Heymann says:

    If you sit in the sun long, you’ll bake
    Then your skin will get dry, maybe flake
    You might get melanoma
    Or be in a coma
    Your health isn’t there to forsake!

  82. Suzanne Heymann says:

    If someone says I am a flake
    And tells me, “Go jump in the lake!
    Take a hike! Fly a kite!”
    Well, I think I just might
    These are hobbies I do undertake.

  83. Val Fish says:

    Oh boy how she made my loins ache
    That girl with the Cadbury’s flake
    I would salivate
    As she bit and ate
    She sure was a piece of hot cake

  84. Judith H. Block says:

    She’s strong and she’s hot, not a flake
    She’ll shake your world like an earthquake.
    She’ll tease and seduce
    Then she’ll cut you loose.
    She leaves broken hearts in her wake.

  85. Judith H. Block says:

    The gal from Nantucket’s no flake,
    She leaves panting guys in her wake.
    She’s smart and so hot,
    Guys had her. Or not!
    ‘Cause her reputation’s at stake.

  86. Judith H. Block says:

    So cold out and starting to flake
    In the warm pub, a handsome young rake
    His seduction was bold
    She was lured, truth be told
    She gave him more than a handshake.

  87. Errol Nimbly aka Byron Miller says:

    Then there’s Thomas, an odious flake,
    Peeping through his binocs at the lake.
    From down low in his punt,
    He conducts his chick hunt,
    Leaving handfuls of spunk in his wake.

  88. Suzanne Heymann says:

    A good friendship is easy to break
    If you don’t want to fix your mistake
    Don’t deflect or be smug
    Sweep it under the rug
    Then you prove you’re a coward, a flake.

  89. Dave Johnson says:

    A movie producer named Blake
    Scored big with a lust-driven flake.
    Dudley Moore had a yen
    To go stalking that “10”
    Which Bo Derek could easily fake.

  90. Fred Bortz says:

    My 2016 nightmare:

    In Paris, our future’s at stake.
    This conference may be “make-or-break.”
    But our voters, I fear,
    May be fed a “bum steer,”
    And elect a denialist flake.

  91. Tim James says:

    The paint on the ceiling would flake
    When she screamed. Then her body would quake,
    With her toes curling tight.
    It capped off quite a night.
    You know what? I don’t *care* if it’s fake.

  92. Dave Johnson says:

    On a hike we’ve decided to take,
    Our hope is the weather will break.
    We continue to climb
    And he view is sublime;
    But the raindrops are starting to flake…

  93. Dave Johnson says:

    Here’s Justin, a horny young flake
    Who’s lusting for Morgan and Blake.
    He sexted some pics;
    An effort they’ll nix
    As their boyfriends correct his mistake.

  94. Dave Johnson says:

    How many more words will it take
    From an ego-maniacal flake
    ‘Till we finally purge
    The Donald Trump scourge?
    A demagogue clearly he’ll make.

  95. Tim James says:

    “All you Muslims, keep out!” Donald spake.
    “It should only be Christians we take,”
    Said Jeb Bush and Ted Cruz.
    (That’s the sound of loose screws.)
    And they say Jerry Brown is a flake?

  96. Dave Johnson says:

    While The Donald continues to make
    A mockery of all that’s at stake,
    How great are the cries
    From the RNC guys?
    As loud as the sound of a flake.

  97. yt cai says:

    In Congress there is a Jeff Flake
    John Boehner was too a mistake
    If Ryan is lyin’
    People are cryin’
    That a Bush will get one more shake

    Some day those voters may wake
    Lord knows what that might take
    It’s not in a name
    This politics game
    But Trump always takes the cake

  98. Dave Johnson says:

    How special is that little flake;
    The one who continues to make
    Calls from her cell
    And demanding as well:
    “Now bring me my gluten-free cake.”

  99. Okay, I admit I’m a flake
    I just can’t seem to bake a cake
    But when it comes to the bed
    I always knock ’em dead
    It’s just a matter of give and take

  100. I guess I’m just a foolish flake
    I made kind of a fluky mistake
    I took a pill
    That was meant for Bill
    Our evening rocked like a colossal earthquake

  101. Suzanne Heymann says:

    A lazy loon lounged on a lake
    Felt a fluttering falling snow flake
    Now if nature’s not nudging
    For flight, faith is fudging
    Its will to want warmth in its wake.

  102. Jesse Frankovich says:

    Testing if HTML works in these comments.

  103. Jesse Frankovich says:

    Four meanings I’ll offer for flake:
    Loose, small piece that from something may break;
    A unit of snow;
    Kooky fruitcake you know;
    Early tool that from stone one can make.

  104. I used to be a simple flake
    Then I met a man named Jake
    He had a Benz
    And said we were friends
    I’m hoping there is more at stake

  105. So here’s the suggestion I’d make
    About Trump, for America’s sake:
    Let’s soak his hair through
    With some dandruff shampoo,
    And hope it gets rid of the Flake.

  106. By the time of the first winter flake,
    I tremble, I twitch and I shake:
    It’s been Christmas in-store
    For three months (maybe more)
    And I’ve had about all I can take.

  107. Gushed the girl, “When you called me ‘a flake’,
    Did you mean that I’d melt for your sake,
    A pure crystal of snow?”
    He said sourly: “No.”

    (That’s the only response he would make.)

  108. SAY, BILL, THAT’S grrrRRREAT!

    Inspired by a dream, Mr. Blake
    Cried out, as he sat up awake:
    “Tyger, burning and bright
    In the forest of Night…
    What Immortal hath Frosted thy Flake?”

  109. Konrad Schwoerke says:

    Seems a break ain’t the same as a brake,
    And a sheikh ain’t the same as a shake,
    And a stake ain’t the same
    As a steak—what a shame!—
    But a flake is a flake is a flake.

  110. Allen Wilcox says:

    Said he to his wife, “You’re a flake.
    At least half of your body is fake.
    I can no longer feel
    Just what might be real.
    What you really are like is opaque.”

  111. Allen Wilcox says:

    He unclogged. She pled, “Give me a break.
    I hope you don’t think I’m a flake.”
    She confessed to the plumber,
    “Down below I’ve got number.
    Do you think I could borrow your snake?”

  112. Dave Johnson says:

    Aunt Martha will quite often bake
    Some brownies or maybe a cake.
    With her Saturday stop
    At the cannabis shop,
    There’s magic in every flake.

  113. Chad Parenteauu says:

    I figured there’d least be a flake
    or two this December would make.
    but looking ’round
    there’s just mud on the ground.
    I’ve made a terrible mistake.

  114. madkane says:

    Thanks so much everyone for another fun two weeks of limericks. This Limerick-Off is officially over. And the winner is…

    Congratulations to the Limerick-Off Award Winner, the Facebook Friends’ Choice Award Winner, and the Honorable Mention Winners: Limerick-Off Award 241.

    But you can still have lots of limerick fun because a new Limerick-Off has just begun: Limerick-Off Lies.