Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: SPILL at the end of Line 1 or 2 or 5

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick using SPILL at the end of Line 1 or Line 2 or Line 5. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)

The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner next Sunday, right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

Here’s my limerick:

A chef, upon spotting a spill
From a gin bottle, started to grill
All his washers and cooks,
Asking “Which of you crooks
Made this mess?” But his proof remained nil.

Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same rhyme word and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

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63 Responses to “Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: SPILL at the end of Line 1 or 2 or 5”

  1. David Reddekopp says:

    Phil Graham, might this be about you?

    There once was a fellow named Phil
    Who sought extramarital thrill
    Though he tried to keep quiet
    He couldn’t deny it
    His spouse, she has spotted the spill.

  2. Phil Graham says:

    Dave, you hint I’m lascivious — well, chill.
    There’s no way that my sperm I would spill!
    So if you are hintin’
    That I did like Clinton
    I’m far more fastidious than Bill.

  3. David Reddekopp says:

    I thought you’d like that. And well played.

  4. Judith H. Block says:

    Shh! It’s a secret, don’t spill:
    She’s sexy and hot with free will.
    This new chick in town,
    All guys want to bed down-
    Just seeing her gives them a thrill.

  5. Judith H. Block says:

    Sip slowly and try not to spill
    Your drink from the upscale gin mill.
    It is quite expensive,
    The bouquet comprehensive.
    So sip and enjoy, do not swill.

  6. Judith H. Block says:

    Jack stumbled and took quite a spill.
    He fell down the slope, so did Jill.
    They never fetched water
    Jill fell, no one caught her.
    Jack’s hurt; all their efforts were nil.

  7. Judith H. Block says:

    Oh, NO, not another oil spill!
    They don’t give a damn, they just drill,
    Oil companies’ greed
    Makes our planet bleed.
    And each politician’s a shill.

  8. Suzanne Heymann says:

    Well, Monica’s role in that spill
    Did mean she was not on the pill
    She figured that maybe
    There’d soon be a baby
    So playing it safe fits the ‘Bill.’

  9. Please do not spill
    Your milk on the window sill
    Jump up on the table
    As best as you’re able
    You’re the cutest feline in Seville.

  10. Hubby, You’re always dressed to kill
    It gives me such a thrill
    Now go out for lunch
    And have a good munch
    (While I donate your clothes to Goodwill)


    Hubby, you’re dressed to kill
    Your garbs scarcely have a spill
    Now go out for lunch
    And have a good munch
    (While I donate your clothes to Goodwill)

  12. Mad Please change the last line of “Please do no spill to”

    “You’re the cutest feline in Seville”
    My last line had too many syllables

    Thank You

    MBK: Done.

  13. Dave Johnson says:

    Our waiter had managed to spill
    The wine from a glass he did fill.
    It fell on her dress,
    A terrible mess;
    We’re adding a tip to his bill.

  14. We charming ladies at “Senior Hill”
    Have shaky hands, so sometimes we spill
    Our coffee or tea, but we never flee:
    When a man walks in, we still get a thrill

  15. At the “Old Town Happy Bar and Grill”
    Henry the tapster will sometimes spill
    The drinks from the cart
    But he has a good heart
    When he tends to do that, he foots the bill

  16. Tim James says:

    Phil the bear hunter, out for a kill,
    Dropped his rifle on taking a spill.
    He rolled downhill and then
    Straight on into a den.
    Lucky bears. They’ve now eaten their Phil.

  17. Daisy Mae Simon says:

    Too many think guns are a thrill,
    But their purpose is solely to kill.
    Mass shootings? “Let’s pray,”
    Say the pro-NRA.
    Rinse, repeat. How much blood can they spill?


    At the ‘Ole Town Bar And Grill”
    The tapster will sometimes spill
    The drinks from the cart
    But he has a good heart
    When he does that, he foots the bill

  19. Please remember your pill
    And whatever you do, don’t spill!
    Tonight’s the night
    The stars are just right
    To create our li’l Johnny or Jill

  20. Dave Johnson says:

    On Twitter, his words start to spill
    Late at night and he probably will
    Find a way to abuse
    Anyone in the news
    Who refuses to trumpet his swill.

  21. Brian Allgar says:

    The athlete was proud of her skill,
    Blowing two guys at once with a will.
    On her head she would stand
    Sucking hard on each gland,
    And never a drop did she spill.

  22. Brian Allgar says:

    “Stuff happens.” The time’s come to spill
    The beans about Jeb – he’s a pill!
    The Second Amendment
    The day it was penned meant,
    According to Jeb: “Thou shalt kill”.

  23. Brian Allgar says:

    He tried very hard not to spill
    The eggs that he’d beaten with dill.
    He gave up in despair,
    For an omelette, rare,
    Simply cannot be cooked on the grill.

  24. Brian Allgar says:

    He sprinkled the gas, lit the spill.
    Oh, the flames and the heat! What a thrill!
    When arrested, said he
    “I’m no arsonist, me,
    It’s just that I’m feeling the chill.”

  25. Brian Allgar says:

    Knowing Tamar was not on the pill,
    Onan thought it was better to spill
    His own seed on the ground.
    But old Yahweh soon found
    What he’d done, and moved in for the kill.


    Our teacher forced us to use a quill
    She was determined that we never would spill
    Before I could blink
    I was covered in ink
    A schmuck named Joe drenched me with his refill

  27. Colonialist says:

    When Phil said, ‘I took a bad spill’
    Folk sympathized with him until
    It turned out his plight
    Was his pipe wouldn’t light –
    But with refill, and new spill, Phil’s will!

  28. yt cai says:

    In aisle three I was cleaning a spill
    Jars of pickles both sweet and dill
    The mop wasn’t workin’
    Then I slipped on a gherkin
    To this day it’s lodged in me still

  29. Phil Graham says:

    The challenge is, “Rhyme the word ‘spill'”
    But nothing is coming, zip, nil
    Each time this occurs
    I let out lots of “grrrrrs”
    And create one that’s run of the mill.

  30. Suzanne Heymann says:

    But YOUR lim’ricks – so clever, Phil
    Just silly ones my brain does spill
    Before I get jealous
    Please won’t you just tell us
    The secret of your rhyming skill?

  31. Fats Domino had a nasty spill
    On his way to Blueberry Hill
    He got caught in a tree
    And split open his knee
    It really wasn’t such a thrill

  32. Phil Graham says:

    Suzanne likes my rhymes; what a thrill
    That such praise she is willing to spill
    Suz, if you’re that smitten
    With what I have written
    Let’s smooch in my old Coupe de Ville!

    While in the back seat, I’ll revill
    Something more than just my rhyming skill
    With your foot out the winda
    You’ll learn my agenda
    Is other than secrets to spill.

  33. Mad I think the rhyming in “Please remember you pill”
    would sound better if it was “to create our LITTLE Johnny or Jill”

    If you agree, can you change it?

    Thank You

    From Mad Kane: “Little’ has too many syllables, but “li’l” fits and creates an internal rhyme so I added it.

  34. Suzanne Heymann says:

    A rendezvous could be a thrill
    As long as you’re willing to spill
    More lim’ricks than semen
    You limerick demon
    I first must consult my free will.

    Before you think I’m gonna spill
    All the beans of what gives me a thrill
    I’m not easy, not sleazy
    Blind dates make me queasy
    And what if I’m over the hill?

  35. Fred Bortz says:

    The cops put the perp on the grill.
    Said, “You’ll get a light sentence to spill
    The beans on your crony.”
    His response, “That’s baloney.
    I’d be top of his list for a kill.”

  36. David Reddekopp says:

    Young William felt well up until
    He gathered, “My guts I must spill”
    He vented his vomit
    And couldn’t quite calm it
    The hospital harbored ill Will.

  37. David Reddekopp says:

    Come to think of it, that may explain why Mr. Laughlin hasn’t yet sent in an entry this week. But that’s just speculation. I hope I’m not right.

  38. I beg you, friend, not to spill
    The beans about me and Bill
    We’ll meet at eight
    During the debate
    She’ll never know he had his thrill

  39. Hubby, my dear, you’re dressed to kill
    Your favorite clothes scarcely show a spill
    Now go out for lunch
    And have a good munch
    (While I donate your attire to the local Goodwill)

    (Mad: improvement of previous limerick)

  40. I beg you, my friend, not to spill
    The beans about me and Bill
    We’ll meet at eight
    During the debate
    And she’ll never know that he had his thrill

  41. Suzanne Heymann says:

    Their lives took a big nasty spill
    When Wifey stopped taking the pill
    Their budget’s forlorn
    As quintuplets were born
    Now they have five more mouths to fill.

  42. Suzanne Heymann says:

    For boozers it’s really a skill
    To hold a full glass and not spill
    I won’t put you through it
    But here’s how you do it
    Just sit in one spot and stay still.

  43. Suzanne Heymann says:

    The sidewalks are fine just until
    They’re icy and you take a spill
    If you sue the city
    Your prospects ain’t pretty
    You’ll trip on red tape, slip downhill.

  44. Suzanne Heymann says:

    If porcupines give you a thrill
    Just don’t touch a single damn quill
    Because if you do
    No pity for you
    If some of your blood you might spill.

  45. Suzanne Heymann says:

    A bottle I opened did spill
    A genie, who said, “I’ll fulfil
    Every wish and desire
    But since I’m for hire
    That means I will send you a bill.”

  46. Suzanne Heymann says:

    The Bible says, “Thou shalt not kill”
    And nobody’s blood may you spill
    But if you are evil
    And create upheaval
    Then all bets are off – no goodwill!

  47. Suzanne Heymann says:

    If you make your way to the still
    No drop of that moonshine should spill
    I don’t mean to grill you
    But I’d have to kill you
    But other than that, drink your fill.

  48. We ladies at “Senior Hill”
    Have shaky hands, so we spill
    Our coffee or tea
    But we never flee
    From a man who gives us a thrill


    We ladies at “Senior Hill”
    Have shaky hands, so we spill
    Our coffee or tea
    But we never flee
    From MEN who give us a thrill!

  50. Brian Allgar says:

    (Phil Graham vs. Suzanne Heymann:)

    An impertinent fellow called Phil
    Thought Suzanne might allow him to spill
    More than humorous verses,
    But she told him – curses! –
    His chance of succeeding is nil.

  51. Before creating your bitter pill
    there’s many bad lemons to spill
    mix with your resent
    of those most content
    to sit and co-opt your free will.

  52. Steve Benko says:

    If ya guts to da Feds ya should spill
    Da mob will come ’round and ya kill
    When ya joined ya did swear ta
    Be true to Omerta
    Now swim wid da fishes ya will

  53. Joyce Smith says:

    There once was a lady named Jill
    Who got her water uphill
    But she spilled her bucket
    And exclaimed, “Oh f*** it”
    All of my water did spill.

  54. Phil Graham says:

    (To David R., Brian A., and Suzanne H.)

    It seems you’ve each coaxed me to fill
    Five more lines with one ending in ‘spill’
    On my own I can blather,
    So please, I would rather
    You didn’t each act like a shill.

    Just kidding! I love the back-and-forth banter.

  55. Phil Graham says:

    When eating a pickle, don’t spill
    Any juice on floor, table or sill
    ‘Twill metastasize flies
    Out of nowhere (surprise!)
    They are drawn in by both sweet and dill.

  56. Suzanne Heymann says:

    More thrill of your skill, Phil (you shill)
    More rhymes you continue to spill
    It’s like serenading
    You’re almost persuading
    My thoughts about your Coupe de Ville.

  57. Phil Graham says:

    It’s time that the beans I must spill
    I’m no satyr, I’m over the hill
    So you can stop dreamin’
    Of taking my semen
    Besides, Suz, my Caddy’s not real.

  58. Suzanne Heymann says:

    I know that, you silly old shill
    Such fantasy rhymes are a skill
    ‘Twas fun while it lasted
    And deftly broadcasted
    Can’t wait to see next what you spill!

  59. Phil Graham says:

    Your latest, Suzanne, was just bril!
    ‘Twould win if the judge were named Phil
    I’ve now given up
    On a win of “Mad’s Cup”
    And I think I’ll just sit for a spill.

  60. David Reddekopp says:

    Many men, when they’re seeking a thrill
    They drop trow and their spooge they will spill
    If you’re stroking your sack
    Then it just means you “jack”
    If you’re female, adjust it to “jill”.

  61. Allen Wilcox says:

    An apprenticing garbage-man Bill
    Wandered through the dump falling in spill.
    Said he, with contrition,
    “I’ve now lost my ambition.
    I’ve had already more than my fill.”

  62. Allen Wilcox says:

    A moonshiner’s wife took a spill.
    After she passed away, he would fill
    A jar, lay in the shade,
    Drink the brew she had made.
    I was clear to all he loved her still.

  63. madkane says:

    Thanks so much everyone for another fun week of limericks. This Limerick-Off is officially over. And the winner is…

    Congratulations to the Limerick of the Week Winner and the Honorable Mention Winners: Limerick of the Week 234.

    But you can still have lots of limerick fun because a new Limerick-Off has just begun: Limerick-Off Score.