Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: STEW at the end of Line 1 or 2 or 5

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick using STEW at the end of Line 1 or Line 2 or Line 5. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)

The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner next Sunday, right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

Here’s my limerick:

A woman who tended to stew,
Made ado over nonsense she knew
Was trivial stuff,
Till her spouse said “Enough!
“Or I’ll sue to undo my ‘I do.'”

Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same rhyme word and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

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57 Responses to “Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: STEW at the end of Line 1 or 2 or 5”

  1. A. D. Reed says:

    Here are three for this week. :-)


    When young Drew got a view of the queue
    At the brewpub that had just one loo,
    He stepped outside, didn’ he,
    And there tapped a kidney,
    Then had stew and a brew with his crew.

    A young duo named Susie and Stu
    Were quite clueless about how to woo,
    So they rented some porn.
    They’re no longer forlorn:
    For Sue blew ’til Stu’s member grew, too.

    Farmer Lew often heard the cows moo;
    City Sue always knew pigeons coo.
    But without going to college
    They both had scant knowledge
    Of the hue of the gnu at the zoo.

  2. Dave Johnson says:

    All the others continued to stew
    When The Donald was finally through.
    He’d left Megyn fuming
    And now he’s assuming
    He’ll fire the rest of them too.

  3. Ian Graham says:

    “His heart,” in her old mother’s view,
    “Will be melted by serving him stew.”
    A ragout made of mutton
    Seemed right on the button
    When he dreamily sighed “I love ewe.”

  4. Zelick Mendelovich says:

    Princley Sums It Up 

    David Cameron dropped in the stew 
    when three million pounds said adiue 
    prince Charles just said: “please!” 
    She was down on her kneese 
    and I couldn’t say no to the shrew. 

  5. Zelick Mendelovich says:

    David Cameron dropped in the stew 
    when three million pounds said adiue 
    prince Charles just said: “please! 
    She was down on her kneese 
    and she blew me away, it is true!” 

  6. Zelick Mendelovich says:

    Now back to the horticultural prince 

    David Cameron dropped in the stew 
    when three million pounds said adiue 
    prince Charles just said: “please!” 
    Pure organical squeeze – 
    It just grew and grew and then grew. 

  7. Jon Gearhart says:

    I’m in internet overload.You?
    Oh-em-Gee, el-oh-El, pee-dee-Que,
    My brain’s in tee-Kay-oh.
    It’s now es-tee-Ee-double-U.

  8. Judith H. Block says:

    Some spelled my late hubby’s name, “Stew”,
    To correct this, he knew what to do.
    But some missed the reference
    When he gave his preference:
    “It’s like British kings, it’s spelled, ‘Stu’ !”

  9. Judith H. Block says:

    There once was a rabbit named, Stew
    Who was smart in his canny world view.
    Once cook books he read,
    From danger he fled.
    His name’s now officially, Lou.

  10. Tim James says:

    The gourmet served his signature stew
    Made from wombat and spiced kangaroo.
    Not to seem impolite,
    I consumed ev’ry bite.
    Now excuse me. I *must* find the loo.

  11. David Reddekopp says:

    Server Stewart’s accused of a screw
    With a new girl he knew not to do
    But his bosses lay blame
    Without evidence (shame!)
    And they’re stupidly stewing at Stew.

  12. Jesse Levy says:

    In order to make a good stew
    I threw in a witches brew
    Of spiders and spice
    A frog and two mice
    but my wife wasn’t hungry. Boo hoo.

  13. Kirk Miller says:

    Down in Sydney, a chef thought he knew
    How to add to some soup kangaroo.
    But it spoiled the soup;
    ‘Twas too thick; to recoup
    He renamed it mar-soup-ial stew.

  14. Judith H. Block says:

    The Repubs now are in a fine stew
    They’re steaming, don’t know what to do.
    “Cause none can go far
    Trump drives their clown car.
    He wins more with every vile spew.

  15. Mark Kane says:

    Bid the party of Lincoln adieu.
    The sane ones remaining are few.
    And the new ones debating?
    I see them creating
    An odious simmering stew.

  16. Brian Allgar says:

    She was hot as a paprika stew,
    That Hungarian girl I once knew.
    Besotted, I screwed her
    In Pest and in Buda,
    And then, by the Danube, she blew.

  17. Rich (In Name Only) in Reno says:

    A French chef exclaimed “Sacre Bleu!”
    For you tourists we concoct the new stew
    Sweepings from the floor
    Fresh from the abattoir
    With a fancy name we’ll serve to you

  18. Colonialist says:

    Ending up in a stew
    Politicians all do,
    But a good PRO
    Keeps them still on the go,
    Except for a very rare few!

    They say for a good Irish stew
    Ingredients are very few:
    Potatoes and lamb,
    Of all else, not a damn –
    Lack of more follow-through they should rue!

  19. yt cai says:

    Rick Santorum was all in a stew
    About gays and things that they do
    His bestial reference
    Hints at a preference
    Nightly to dream of Kat-man-du

  20. Thomas Gorman says:

    I once knew a Polish lad that would stew
    A truly horrific brew
    It’s name was Spirytus
    It’s anesthetic quality was no use,
    More than three shots and you’re screwed!

  21. David Reddekopp says:

    If you’re young-earth creationist, you
    Likely try to bypass peer review
    For each ludicrous claim
    But their views, all the same
    They want taught in the schools – makes me stew.

  22. Brian Allgar says:

    The planet was covered in goo,
    A corrosively chemical stew,
    But that primeval soup
    Of bacterial gloop
    In the long run, produced me and you.

  23. Kristin Smith says:

    Kristin F Smith From Phyllis Sterling Smith

    The new caterer drank all the brew
    And was drunk before dinner was through.
    Now his mem’ry was flawed.
    Had the cat been declawed
    When he threw the dead cat in the stew?

  24. Kristin Smith says:

    This from Phyllis Sterling Smith

    When the weather outside turns one blue
    And it’s barren where veggies once grew,
    There’s nothing so neat
    As to turn up the heat
    And serve chili instead of bland stew.

  25. Lisi Nortman says:

    I made my beau an Irish stew
    And after he took a generous chew

    He ran out of the house
    Quicker than a mouse

    And clearly uttered, “Too-da-loo”

  26. Oh, boy, was I in a stew
    My car got slammed and went askew

    There was a lot of damage
    And I just couldn’t manage

    To fasten the parts with Elmer’s glue

  27. My daddy whose name is Stu
    Threw me a ball that went “into the blue”

    I caught it but fell
    It hurt like hell

    And my poor little tush was black and blue

  28. Lisi Nortman says:

    I was mixing up my “witches brew’
    It’s something like a vegetable stew

    But it includes
    Some secret foods

    To cause your in-laws to burst into the blue

  29. Brian Allgar says:

    He was painting the whole of Peru
    In the purest caerulean blue,
    But the paint got confused
    With his lunch-pail (he’d boozed),
    So now Lima’s the colour of stew.

  30. Brian Allgar says:

    If you work in a brothel or stew,
    There is one thing you never should do
    (I once had to be sewn
    When too toothily blown):
    You can swallow, but please do not chew!

  31. Jon Gearhart says:

    Old blue eyes was fond of lamb stew.
    I cooked for him one time or two.
    Got no kick from lamb flamed
    On a spit, charred. He claimed
    It was best with the stick out of ewe.

  32. Lisi Nortman says:

    Hilary’s in a stew
    And trying to pull through

    Her controversial mail
    Which is rather telltale

    Will she have her cake and eat it too?

  33. Lisi Nortman says:

    I made a vegetable stew
    Then my husband instantly threw

    Up on the floor
    All over my new décor

    He bit off more than he could chew

  34. Lisi Nortman says:

    Trump doesn’t like stew
    And always turns down fondue

    He hates ravioli
    But loves guacamole

    An interesting choice that’s brand new

  35. David Reddekopp says:

    The chief of the chefs had a chew
    Of his soybean and sassafras stew
    Exerting expedience
    He skimped on ingredients
    And spent the whole day in the loo.

  36. Mark Kane says:

    I fell hard for a gal, till I knew
    Of her ways: If he’s warm, they would screw.
    But in time the word spread,
    And her lovers all fled,
    Now she’s home all alone, let HER stew.

  37. Karen Rhodes says:

    When Ida essayed to make stew,
    She thought she knew what to do.
    Some veggies and meat,
    And gravy, a treat,
    Ended up in a horrible goo!

  38. Hugo Reijm says:

    While rhyming with words just like “stew”,
    it struck me from out of the blue:
    this contest I found,
    where limericks abound,
    it’s tickled my fancy anew!

  39. Lisi Nortman says:

    I finally married Stew
    The vote irrevocably went through!

    Then I caught him with Bill
    Up on Blueberry Hill

    And now he’s black and blue

  40. Lisi Nortman says:

    The Donald is in a stew
    And feeling exceedingly blue

    His hair is a mess
    And he can’t find Tess:

    His personal comb-over guru

  41. Mark Kane says:

    The Chef was consulting his crew.
    There were scraps, only scraps, what to do?
    With money so tight,
    How to feed and delight?
    Ahh but then the ‘Break Through’, they made stew.

  42. David Reddekopp says:

    I decided one day to make stew
    All the food that I had, I just threw
    In a big heavy pot
    How it tastes, I care not
    I’m not eating; I made it for you.

  43. Brian Allgar says:

    An intrepid explorer, Sam Tew,
    Went to dine with a tribe that he knew.
    He enquired “What’s for chow?”
    “Oh, we cannibals now –
    We thinking to nibble on STew”

  44. My kitchen surface is a mishmosh stew
    So I bought something excitedly new

    It’s called “New Decor’ ”
    And it was quite a chore

    Now I’m stuck to the floor covered in goo

  45. I had to run to the loo
    I ate a rotten cashew

    In the next stall
    Was a hole in the wall

    And someone said, “Hi, I’m Stu”

  46. cphenly says:

    A not-too-bright fellow named Lou
    Killed his wife with his special hare stew.
    His fateful expedient?
    A secret ingredient:
    A dollop of Dippity- Do.

  47. Allen Wilcox says:

    A new stew they concocted and to
    Do the marketing right they all knew
    That they needed a brand.
    Exclaimed one of the band,
    “Say, why don’t we call it ‘Us Stew’?”

  48. Phil Graham says:

    In the old days an airliner’s crew
    Had a good-looking girl called the stew
    Short for “stewardess,” she
    Served milk, coffee or tea;
    Upon landing (I’ve heard) she might screw!

  49. Lisi Nortman says:

    I made a vegetable stew
    Using tenderloin and “secret roux”

    Then something went “crunch”
    At my attempt to make lunch

    But the dog liked the fine barbecue

  50. Bob Leggett says:

    A Christian,a Muslim and Jew
    Attempted to cook a stew
    But as no meat could please
    They had to use cheese
    So what they got was fondue

  51. Suzanne Heymann says:

    I once had some gnarly beef stew
    The stuff was just too hard to chew
    So tasteless and dry
    I soon found out why
    It was made from my grandfather’s shoe!

  52. Suzanne Heymann says:

    So what’s all the hullabaloo
    Of what should go into a stew?
    Some onions, tomatoes
    Some meat and potatoes
    Just shut up and eat! That should do!

  53. Suzanne Heymann says:

    The boater had tipped his canoe
    And now he is all in a stew
    He cursed and he swore
    As he swam back to shore
    And sat there with nothing to do.

  54. Suzanne Heymann says:

    I once ate a mystery fondue
    So meaty and chunky all through
    It came from Down Under
    So then it’s no wonder
    Turned out to be kangaroo stew.

  55. Suzanne Heymann says:

    If you cooked a bad beefy brew
    And can’t figure out what to do
    Just serve it at eight
    To someone you hate
    And call it an eight o’clock stew.

  56. Kathy Bagby says:

    He got home to a dinner of stew
    from the vegetable garden she grew.
    After pleading for more
    he then raced for the door
    when she said, “That depends. Help from you?”

  57. madkane says:

    Thanks so much everyone for another fun week of limericks. This Limerick-Off is officially over. And the winner is…

    Congratulations to the Limerick of the Week Winner and the Honorable Mention Winners: Limerick of the Week 226.

    But you can still have lots of limerick fun because a new Limerick-Off has just begun: Limerick-Off Pot.