Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: ROE or THOREAU or ROW (which MUST use ROE Pronunciation) at the end of Line 1 or 2 or 5

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick using ROE or THOREAU or ROW (which MUST use ROE pronunciation) at the end of Line 1 or Line 2 or Line 5. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)

The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner next Sunday, right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

Here’s my limerick:

My husband went out for a row–
Not a fight but a boat ride, although
I suppose while he works
Those oars, jet ski jerks
Could cause him to go toe to … tow.

Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same rhyme word and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

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68 Responses to “Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: ROE or THOREAU or ROW (which MUST use ROE Pronunciation) at the end of Line 1 or 2 or 5”

  1. Bob Leggett says:

    As a gardener you should know
    To plant your crops in a row
    But amongst my seeds
    Grew numerous weeds
    And that’s why my carrots won’t grow

  2. Brian Allgar says:

    Gertrude Stein found the garden so slow;
    All her plants seemed reluctant to grow.
    But they did in the end,
    And she wrote to a friend:
    “Our roses arose in a row.”

  3. Brian Allgar says:

    The homeless just tramped through the snow
    In their millions, an unending row,
    And without ACA,
    Thousands died every day.
    “Yep, we did it!” grinned Koch to his bro.

  4. David Reddekopp says:

    The religious conservatives know
    On abortion, with which side they’ll go
    Their decision’s been made
    And their lot’s in with Wade
    Though the courts ruled in favor of Roe.

  5. Brian Allgar says:

    Said Dorothy Parker: “Oh-ho!
    It doesn’t surprise me to know
    That the girls at the Prom,
    With their usual aplomb,
    Have been laid end to end in a row.”

  6. Brian Allgar says:

    The bimbo was learning to row;
    Her instructor was handsome, a beau.
    When he said “Take this oar”
    She misheard, and was sore.
    “I’m no whore! There’s no charge when I blow!”

  7. Judith H. Block says:

    The Civilly Defiant Thoreau
    Inspiration upon us, bestow,
    Tolstoy, Gandhi and King,
    Encouragement bring..
    Now our turn to stop and say, “NO!”

  8. Judith H. Block says:

    A guy took a gal for a row
    She suddenly gasped and said, “Oh!”
    He pulled up her frock
    And took out his cock
    She didn’t know how to say, “No!”

  9. Judith H. Block says:

    They dined on wines, the finest roe.
    His sweet words set her heart aglow.
    Love wasn’t his aim,
    It was all a game,
    He pulled out his cock and said, “Blow!”

  10. Mark Kane says:

    Ten clowns preening all in a row,
    Each asking for votes and your dough.
    With Trump in the center,
    Acting as mentor,
    I’m expecting a really big show!

  11. Patrick says:

    methinks that you should know–
    if you’ve a party to throw:
    a scoop of caviar
    tastes better by far
    if guests don’t know it’s just roe.

  12. Brian Allgar says:

    “They say it’s the finest of roe,
    But this caviar makes me upthrow,
    For the stuff sturgeon yields”,
    Said W.C. Fields,
    “Is just filthy fish eggs, you know.”

  13. Tom Harris says:

    Old Henry David Thoreau
    Packed his shovel, ax and hoe,
    Took a hike out back,
    Built him a shack,
    Then asked, “Should I stay? Oh, hell no.”

  14. Judith H. Block says:

    The bowling pins lined in a row
    I beam with a warm, hopeful glow.
    Then I curse and I mutter–
    Balls land in the gutter.
    But at least they have spared my big toe!

  15. Kristin Smith says:

    Phyllis Sterling Smith prefers this version of the previous post:

    I like to eat fresh salmon roe
    From the currents that here about flow
    But to all males astride
    Of the stream, side to side,
    Please don’t yield to the urge to let go.

  16. Adam Stern says:

    Arnold Schoenberg endeavored to show
    (With recruits Berg and Webern in tow)
    That one could bid adieu
    To C major, in lieu
    Of a systematized twelve-tone row.

    His creations were critically flayed
    And left listeners vexed and dismayed,
    Prompting Schoenberg to vow,
    “If my rows cause a row,
    “It’s not THEIR fault – they’re shoddily played!”

  17. Mark Kane says:

    When we purchased our tiny ‘Circa Lakeside Cottage (it’s not technically on a lake, but it overlooks one)’ it came with its own private dock and ‘Speed Boat’.

    We had no interest in the ‘Speed Boat’ but alas it was a package deal.

    So I dutifully took the free Coast Guard course at our local Army base and got my ‘Power Boat Certificate’ enabling me to delude myself into thinking I could now skillfully navigate a ‘Speed Boat’.

    Well after a couple of dismal summers of fighting with the starter, which would just NEVER start, and trying to carefully avoid the ROCKS which were hidden just below the surface,, I decided to sell the ‘Speed Boat’ and replace it with a nice, stable fourteen foot ‘Sail Boat’.

    I took a two week class out on City Island, in the Bronx of all places, to learn to sail and purchased what I was assured to be an excellent beginner’s ‘Sail Boat’.

    But what I was not told was that sailing on the open seas is a whole lot easier than sailing on a lake, surrounded by mountains, with all those tricky winds shifting from side to side.

    And so the next two summers I fought those winds as my lovely wife MAD constantly yelled, “Make It Go Straight! Make it Go Straight!” every time I would start to build some steam on the water.

    I tried, I mean I really tried to explain to her that ‘Heeling’ was a good thing and that if I made the boat stop leaning, it would also stop moving.

    Anyway after a couple of years of this torture, I just retired the ‘Sail Boat’ and got us a nice reliable ‘Row Boat’ and we’ve been much happier ever since.

    The darn thing always starts, it’s not dependent on wind and I’ve found it to be an excellent source of exercise.

    So that’s my inspiration for this limerick:

    On the lake when you’re anxious to go,
    There are Speed Boats, or Sailing although,
    They both need some skill,
    Of which I have nil,
    Which is why I’ll continue to row.

  18. Andy Bassett says:

    Maid Marian was out for a row
    With her man (Robin Hood, don’t you know)
    When the Sheriff of Nottingham
    Started potshotting ‘em
    She was saved by her arrow and beau

  19. Andy Bassett says:

    A debate has begun about roe
    Whether ‘tis healthy or no
    The renowned Surgeon General
    Recommends you eat teneral
    To the sturgeon’s perennial woe

  20. Kirk Miller says:

    At the river, I think you should know
    There are preschoolers lurking below.
    They are probably not
    What you think, if you thought
    They are children, because they are roe.

  21. Kirk Miller says:

    When the caviar struck lethal blow,
    He was caught. At his trial, although
    For his life he did plead,
    Heartless jury decreed
    They were sentencing him to death roe.

  22. Dave Johnson says:

    She was starting to learn how to row;
    The coach made an offer to go.

    Behind her inside,
    He said, on the slide:

    “My coxswain I want you know.”

  23. Dave Johnson says:

    A muscular fellow named Roe
    Had a body he wanted to show.
    At a nudist resort,
    He’s proud to report
    His willy left Millie aglow.

  24. Oh, no. Forgive me, Madeleine, for so many corrections. I got it now.

    Having nervously downed our bordeaux,
    we faced off: “You go first.” “No, you go.”
    But she said: “Don’t be dunces,
    having two men at once is
    so much better than two in a row.”


    There is something about Thoreau
    That not too many people know

    He ate his food
    While he swam in the nude

    At Walden Pond in the snow

  26. My father taught us to row
    He said it would help us grow

    I’m glad we could swim
    Since our chances were slim

    But we went with the ebb and the flow

  27. In the 1950’s we stood in a row
    Heads held high; voices low

    Now with skyping
    The teachers are griping

    You can be seen at school and not even show

  28. Daisy Mae Simon says:

    When it comes to that case, Wade and Roe
    Extremists ignore it, and so
    Politicians imposed
    Women’s clinics be closed
    Sans due process- for women… A blow…

    Not the kind of blow most men enjoy
    Like the pricks in that club, ‘Good Ole Boy’
    Who think with their balls
    They’re neanderthals
    VOTE! Protect what is ‘left,’ hoi polloi!

  29. Revision

    Having nervously downed our bordeaux,
    we faced off: “You go first.” “No, you go.”
    But she said: “Don’t be dunces,
    two fellows at once is
    so much better than two in a row.”

  30. Pat Campbell says:

    He stood her up twice in a row
    down her beautiful face tears did flow
    he said “Golly Miss Molly
    I know I’m a wally
    but mommy would not let me go”

    His beautiful eyes seemed to glow
    he said ‘come to my playroom, let’s go’
    he dressed her in leather
    and said ‘now that’s better
    my collection has started to grow’

    Milandra was wealthy you know
    in restaurants she’d put on a show
    ‘I won’t eat frogs or worms
    or sea horses’ sperm
    so waiter, bring me cod roe’

    My sister makes terrible dough
    broke three of my teeth in a row
    but the men love her figure
    her bust line is bigger
    than Aretha’s or Marilyn Monroe

  31. Near his pond, Henry David Thoreau
    sat cross-legged to hear the grass grow.
    But what grew was an itch—
    meditation’s a bitch!—
    and he found himself sucking his toe.

  32. Tim James says:

    Cute Joanna, a Sigma Pi Rho,
    Gave a frat boy the ol’ to-and-fro.
    But she drank too much beer,
    Left behind her brassiere.
    So the guy woke to two cups of Jo.

    Note: Sigma Pi Rho is entirely fictional. I hope.

  33. When Oedipus called her “a roe,”
    Jocasta appeared to glow.
    “A roe must be slang,”
    she said with a bang,
    “for a mother-I’d-like-to-… you know.”

  34. Lisi Nortman says:

    The winter snow will give you woe
    And in the summer your boat won’t row

    You’re on your own
    You feel alone

    That’s what happens when you’re married to a schmo

  35. Lisi Nortman says:

    I have a new intellectual beau
    He speaks of things I do not know

    He mentioned Walden Pond
    And I artfully did respond:

    “I, too, love Edgar Allan Poe”

  36. Lisi Nortman says:

    Uh Oh I did not use the rhyming word!
    Let’ try again:

    I have a new intellectual beau
    He speaks of someone named Thoreau

    He referred to Walden Pond
    I artfully did respond:

    “I, too love Allen Edgar Poe”

  37. You read up the life of Thoreau
    and think, “I’ll give nature a go.”
    But a fall in the mud
    makes the idea a dud
    while the Holiday Inn’s sign aglow.

  38. Lisi Nortman says:

    My Internet date knew about Thoreau
    We even discussed Jean-Jacques Rousseau

    He was very tricky
    I gave him a quickie

    Easy come; easy go

  39. Phil Graham says:

    At an Ivy the coach needs to know
    If a quarterback prospect’s a ‘go’
    “He can run and he passes
    His soft high school classes
    But tell me this; can he Thoreau?”

  40. David Reddekopp says:

    I heard someone holler “”Hey bro,
    You should get all your ducks in a row.”
    I stood, looking solemn
    My ducks in a column
    It matters, but why, I don’t know.

  41. David Reddekopp says:

    Some enjoy Henry David Thoreau
    Or Dickinson, Whitman, or Poe
    I’m also a poet
    Though they’ll never know it
    Did they compose limericks? No!

    Take your sorry-ass stanzas and go
    If you can’t post five lines in a row
    That follow this scheme
    Whatever the theme
    But these bards set the bar way too low.

    Hey Thoreau, don’t you think that you owe
    Us a limerick? It’s apropos
    And they could’ve been spawned
    At your famed Walden Pond
    While you struggled through seaweed and roe.

  42. Lisi Nortman says:


    I coach Little League, my name’s Jack Rowe
    When there’s a game, they put on “some show”

    They run so fast
    They can’t be surpassed

    But you should see those kids when they Thoreau

  43. Lisi Nortman says:

    Mad Please take out the word “a” Little League

  44. Bjorn says:

    I love to have rye with the roe
    the morning is brighter, that’s how
    a Swede will get strong
    and live very long
    The taste is acquired from snow

    (Yes – crispbread sandwich with a spread of roe is a favorite)

  45. Cupid likes to shoot his tiny insipid bow,
    Making us spend way too much dough
    On flowers, cards, & chocolate candy;
    But being broke is never actually dandy
    While against the current one must row.

  46. kanzensakura says:

    This made me smile hugely. Those jerk jet skiers…. :-)

  47. The pitcher wound up for the throw,
    But his fastball was just a bit slow.
    Oh what a swinger!
    He hammered that dinger,
    Into the bleachers top row.

    (dinger is a slaying term in baseball that means home run)

  48. Witty, as ever! I’ll pass on the limerick-making of my own, though, today.

  49. Victoria says:

    I love it when you share your limericks at OLN, Madeleine. This one is especially clever…the toe to tow word play.

  50. David Reddekopp says:

    There once was a man named Thoreau
    And into the woods he would go
    His travails he’d unveil
    In tremendous detail
    Thoreau was quite thorough, you know.

  51. Scott Hastie says:

    Great to see your astute and inventive talents sparking so many other limerickers!! With Best Wishes Scott

  52. Errol Nimbly aka Byron Miller says:

    This morning I’m having a go
    At limerick writing with “row”;
    Plus a crossword as well;
    And Sudoku from hell,
    So I’m brewing a new pot of joe.

  53. Jenny Herner says:

    Delightful! And I love the dual meanings and homonyms!

  54. Abhra says:

    I wish it was so easy for me to write a limerick, I tried but I couldn’t. Thank you for inspiring and making me smile.

  55. Diane Groothuis says:

    I can’t get my ducks in a row
    My logic is fuzzy and so
    That if you should wonder
    How life is “down under”
    It depends on the way the winds blow

  56. Diane Groothuis says:

    My bank balance got very low
    Oh where, but oh where did it go?
    Well the scammer looked back
    “Your account’s in the black
    Don’t you know it is all in es -crow.”

  57. A. D. Reed says:

    Hi, Madeleine. Thanks for the invite and link. I’ve submitted two (if that’s permitted), just for fun.


    When a Cupid with arrow and bow
    Taught the trumpeter “Fa Mi Re Do,”
    Her descent made him rise
    And she went for her prize.
    But that blow job won’t make her a ho’!

    Facing Donald, their blustering foe
    The debaters went lower than low.
    Rand went down, Cruz made noise;
    Jeb! again lost his poise.
    We’re back to the old status quo.

  58. Kristin Smith says:

    This one from Phyllis Sterling Smith

    Do you have all your ducks in a row?
    Does that saying make sense? I don’t know.
    Do you think of quacking?
    Or maybe of fracking
    As the oil barons go with the flow.

  59. Kristin Smith says:

    This is not a serious contender because it uses a homophone, but I want to share this from my husband, Otto JA Smith, Phyllis’s son.

    English language is crazy, you know.
    Inconsistent, just take the word “Row”.
    If you fight a Greek cow
    You have just had a row.
    If you win you are now a he-rho.

  60. Tim James says:

    I attempted to list in a row
    All the word endings sounding like “oh.”
    It turns out there’s a lot.
    Now I’ll tell you what’s what:
    English spelling’s a tough row to hoe.

    Any seamstress who needs to spell “sew”
    Or a lady describing her beau
    Finds the challenge the same;
    It’s a big, silly game.
    But I guess that’s the way these things go.

    I’d be willing to wager some dough
    That you think that these verses are faux.
    I admit they’re lame stuff
    And I’ve gone on enough.
    On this effort I now exclaim, “Whoa!”

  61. Oh.. Dark Raven poems of Poe..
    wHere no boat is free to Row..
    Human heArt no longer Grows..
    But wind comes with wingBow..
    Human Being comes to Glow..:)

  62. Lisi Nortman says:

    How thrilling to find a new beau
    With a PHD in Thoreau!

    An education is impressive
    But he was a bit aggressive

    I said “Sweetie, this is the end of the show”

  63. Lisi Nortman says:

    When a person learns to row
    He must flip the oars to and fro

    Once you get the skill
    It will be quite a thrill

    Till the hole creates overflow

  64. Fred Bortz says:

    At the center of Candidates Row,
    Smirked Trump at the G.O.P. show.
    Being rude is his game–
    Claim to fame–without shame.
    No, “The Donald” will never eat crow.

  65. Phil Graham says:

    A French marquis in his chateau
    Drank wine from grapes grown in his clos
    One could oft hear him boast
    Of the eggs on his toast
    Not from poulets, mais non — sturgeon roe!

  66. Allen Wilcox says:

    A lesson, for any new pro,
    You should follow wherever you go –
    To not hear the words,
    “Your plan’s for the birds”,
    Your should get all your ducks in a row.

  67. cphenly says:

    A True Story

    The orange cat for some years used to go
    Twixt our house and elsewhere, to and fro.
    He’d eat all our goods
    Then head back to the woods,
    So we named him H. David Thoreau.

  68. madkane says:

    Thanks so much everyone for another fun week of limericks. This Limerick-Off is officially over. And the winner is…

    Congratulations to the Limerick of the Week Winner and the Honorable Mention Winners: Limerick of the Week 225.

    But you can still have lots of limerick fun because a new Limerick-Off has just begun: Limerick-Off-Stew.