Limerick of the Week 215

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.

Congratulations to FRED BORTZ, who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:

Most lumberjacks, some say, are brutes,
Built for power from abs, pecs, and glutes.
But in math they do well.
Yes they truly excel.
Cutting logs, they compute all nth roots.

NOTE: I enjoyed the line 5 wordplay so much, that I violated my own general rule against limericks that may need an explanation. So if math humor makes you loggy, here’s Fred’s explanation:

For those who have forgotten or never learned logarithms, you can compute a square root by dividing the log of a number by two then finding the antilog of the result. Cube roots involve dividing the log by three. And in general, you can find the nth root by dividing the log by n.

And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Brian Allgar, Scott Crowder, Colleen Murphy, Stephen Fleming, Kathy El-Assal, Kaye Roberts, and Phyllis Sterling Smith a/k/a Granny Smith. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:

Brian Allgar:

Ten sailors were all in cahoots;
When on leave from their sea-going routes,
They would meet her to bang
As a nautical gang,
And they’d give her their ten-gun salutes.

Scott Crowder:

She never has colored her roots
Or toned-up her once perky fruits.
She’s more than okay
With her hair turning gray
And tucking her tits in her boots.

Colleen Murphy:

Said a carrot to tropical fruits,
“For sight we’re the favored recruits.”
But the kiwi replied,
“We’ve got C on our side.
So there! Now go back to your roots!”

Stephen Fleming:

I question a voter who roots
For the tally of feculent fruits
On the elephant ticket–
A baffling thicket
Of blustering arrogant suits.

Kathy El-Assal:

In Bayside, Mad put down her roots,
Then switched to word play from law suits.
Now Mark and his wife
Live a Queens-style life
With peons who bear pun-ish fruits.

Kaye Roberts:

A weight-lifter worked on his glutes.
His sinews were ropy, like roots.
Once skinny and fragile,
He’s not very agile,
But a mugger just looks, and then scoots.

Phyllis Sterling Smith:

A Scotsman named Ian McKloots
Played bagpipes that skirled squawky toots.
Until one day at last,
With kilt at half-mast,
He disclosed all his Manly McRoots.

Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.

In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

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5 Responses to “Limerick of the Week 215”

  1. Fred Bortz says:

    Wow! I never expect that one to be chosen limerick of the week. You may also be familiar with this Genesis joke.

    God told all the creatures to be fruitful and multiply, but some snakes complained that they were adders. So God created log tables. (Because adding logarithms of two numbers gives the logarithm of their product, which is the principle behind the slide rule.)

  2. Johanna Richmond says:

    Congrats to all the fine winners. So great to see Phyllis back and among the winners where she belongs! I’ve been so limericked out this past year but if Phyllis is back I’m going to try harder to get back in the horse!

  3. scott says:

    Fine job Fred. Are you sure your last name isn’t Bohr? and thank you MADam!

    Hi Phyllis, it is great to see you again.

  4. Johanna Richmond says:

    Thank you, Scott! Oh and I meant “on” not “in” the horse — not that kinky now that I’m in my tit-tucking years :)

  5. Fred Bortz says:

    Fred Niels to Scott’s praise, but assures him that the name is not Bohr, who spoke of classical orbits. Fred’s thinking is more quantum mechanical–fuzzy and limited by the uncertainty principle.