Limerick Appeasement (Limerick-Off Monday) Rhyme Word: Peas or Appease

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner next Sunday, right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:

A fellow had tried to appease…*


A gal told her kids, “Eat your peas…”*


A gal was served overcooked peas…*

*(Please note that minor variations to my first lines are acceptable. However, rhyme words may not be altered, except by using homonyms or homophones.)

Here’s my limerick:

Limerick Appeasement
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A fellow had tried to appease
His wife, when she caught the old sleaze
In bed with some floozy.
His line was a doozy:
“This will save wear and tear on your knees.”

Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

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49 Responses to “Limerick Appeasement (Limerick-Off Monday) Rhyme Word: Peas or Appease”

  1. Thomas Gorman says:

    A fellow had tried to appease
    His child enough to eat some cheese
    But the longer he went
    His energy was spent
    And he ended up down on his knees.

  2. P Diane Schneider says:

    Its not always good to appease
    Despots who impose with such ease
    To make you a cog
    To sleep with the dog
    Cause you’ll surely wake up wth fleas.

  3. Jen Harris says:

    A fellow had tried to appease
    His fiance, while still on his knees
    Trust me, Begonia
    Cubic zirconia
    Will do; it is just my first tease ;-)

  4. Bob Leggett says:

    Talk of carrots and peas
    Makes me go weak at the knees
    Films like Forrest Gump
    Give me the hump
    Just don’t mention it please

  5. Amrit Sinha says:

    A man was trying to appease
    his wife, when he burnt the cheese.
    The dish gone awry
    Her rage, he was wary.
    Hence, said he “Let’s go out for lunch, please?”

  6. Brian Allgar says:

    Though his brain was the size of two peas,
    Dubbya held five impressive degrees
    That he’d bought on the Web.
    As he proudly told Jeb,
    “Ah kin count on mah fingers with ease.”

  7. Jon Gearhart says:

    The young man on the fly trapping peas
    From touching his rye, ham, and cheese
    Needs a plate that’s segmented
    So he’ll look less demented.
    Forking peas tops his worst OCDs.

  8. Brian Allgar says:

    The man on the flying trapeze
    Had a partner whose skills failed to please.
    As he flew through the air,
    She would catch him – yes, there! –
    With her teeth, as he hollered “Oh, Jeez!”

  9. Judith H. Block says:

    A fellow had tried to appease
    His children with big shopping sprees.
    But they need love much more
    Than things bought in a store.
    They really do hope that he sees.

  10. Judith H. Block says:

    A fellow had tried to appease
    Political foes with treaties
    Torturers are insane
    This isn’t a game:
    Can’t placate- they act like Nazis.

  11. Judith H. Block says:

    Obama had tried to appease
    Republicans- they are such sleaze!
    They want him destroyed,
    Consensus, avoid!
    And naught he’d do would ever please.

  12. Judith H. Block says:

    A gal was served overcooked peas.
    She quickly said, “I can’t eat these”.
    The taste is no good,
    Hope that’s understood!
    A salad instead, if you please!”

  13. Brian Allgar says:

    The girls were as like as two peas,
    Especially down on their knees.
    Which sister was sucking?
    Which one was he fucking?
    They charged him identical fees.

  14. Judith H. Block says:

    A fellow seduced with great ease,
    His girl friend, he knew how to tease:
    “My cock’s starting to throb!
    How I need a blow-job.
    I’m burning for you, hear my pleas!”

  15. rbasler says:

    A gal was served overcooked peas
    They were mushy and smashed and well, Jeez!
    She misunderstood wholly
    “This is great guacamole!
    “Can you bring some tortilla chips, please?”

  16. Bjorn says:

    A prince tried his princess to please
    with champagne and exquisite cheese
    She showed him away
    wasn’t willing to play
    Cause in bed she wanted her peace

    (or maybe the peas).

  17. Cphenly says:

    An old printer ran short on his p’s,
    But the fruit man he wanted to please.
    So he turned all around
    And then flipped upside down
    And spelled “apple” by using two d’s.

  18. John Sardo says:

    A fellow had tried to appease
    A gal he thought his main squeeze.
    He got caught playing house
    With two gals, what a louse
    On his knees his gal gave him the freeze.
    So the guy who tried to appease
    Told the squeeze who gave him the freeze
    He was merely free forming
    To improve his performing
    To be sure in their bed he would please.
    This gal who he couldn’t appease
    Called him instead a big tease.
    So she took him to bed
    To his shock she instead
    Gave his balls a tight fisted squeeze.
    His main squeeze he couldn’t appease.
    So it was others he tried to please.
    But his balls he encased
    In a strong iron brace
    To the seas he tossed all the keys.

  19. Mark Kane says:

    I am minding my Q’s and my P’s,
    And avoiding all folks with disease,
    But I can’t lose the itch
    For that golden blond bitch.
    My weakness? Retrievers with fleas.

  20. Zelick Mendelovich says:

    A fellow had tried to appease
    By dropping his shorts to his knees
    She said:” not so fast
    Every time in the past
    Your sail failed to fill to my tease.”

  21. Tim James says:

    I know a young woman who pees
    Out of doors, ‘mongst the rocks and the trees.
    Now she’s moved (what the heck?)
    To the north of Quebec
    And I fear that her ass off she’ll freeze.

  22. A fellow had tried to appease

    his wife who sees..

    Red yellow and blue and purple

    as she pleases..

    So he figures new black is THAT..

  23. Matt Regan says:

    A gal who’d had overcooked peas
    Was resting on her seat of ease.
    “Oh, Good God” she said. She’d
    Just then realized she’d need:
    “A roll of TP, and Quick, Please!”

  24. Jon Gearhart says:

    The old man all the day and night pees
    Without knowing just when need’ll seize.
    When the tide starts to rise,
    It first crosses his thighs,
    Then winds up causing water on the knees.

  25. Kirk Miller says:

    Baby boomers’ songs didn’t appease
    Moms and dads; made them much ill at ease.
    Today’s songs don’t rebel.
    Folks don’t like it. Oh, well,
    There are some who you just cannot please.

  26. Thomas Gorman says:

    Though Chamberlain tried to appease
    To Hitler til down on his knees
    The Channel was lost
    To the Germans at all cost
    And now we enjoy the French cheese.

  27. Mark Kane says:

    “Don’t make us eat carrots and peas,”
    I’d beg as she’d serve them with ease.
    Then my mom would reply,
    To my brother and I,
    “When you’re big you can do as you please.”

  28. Byron Ives says:

    He ate mostly beans and chickpeas
    Raw cabbages and broccolis
    He was a naturopath
    And when he sat in the bath
    Big bubbles came up thru his knees

  29. Byron Ives says:

    A rooster who tried to appease
    All the chicks at the barnyard orgies,
    One day screwed an owl,
    And his progeny now
    Is a cock that’s up all night with ease

  30. Byron Ives says:

    He hated beets, carrots, and peas
    And really despised cottage cheese
    Plus any green plants,
    He would hide in his pants,
    Then later flush down with poopies

  31. Byron Ives says:

    A panda, with a gun, chowed down peas,
    From a waitress, then shot at her knees,
    Gnashed a bug in his fur,
    Then left in a blur
    In essence, he eats, shoots, and fleas?

  32. Mark Kane says:

    When you’re dealing with sleaze don’t appease.
    Any hope for a deal is a tease.
    Barack’s using his clout,
    Once he figured this out:
    It’s just better to act as you please.

  33. Ron B. says:

    Satisfaction Attraction

    Some plumbers with ease can appease
    young women upset with their fees
    by timely projection
    of manly perfection
    assuring their service will please.

  34. Ron B. says:

    Mother’s ‘D’ruthers

    A mom told her kids, “Eat your peas…
    don’t let them roll down on your knees…
    don’t mash them to mush…
    don’t slash them to slush…
    and swallow them first if you sneeze!”

  35. Ron B. says:

    Comically Keen Cuisine

    Said a mom who served overcooked peas
    — on warm diapers with crackers and cheese. —
    “It seems making ends meet
    is an easier feat
    when you’ve learned to reheat what you freeze!”

  36. Jon Gearhart says:

    When Santa sets forth to appease
    The kids of the world with gifts, he’s
    Said to fly in his sleigh
    For the length of a day
    And give good kids all gifts with great ease.

    I think that the reason that he’s
    Been able to do this with ease
    Is that most kids are naughty
    With mouths spouting potty;
    Thus, no gifts delivered to these!

  37. Mark Kane says:

    Hot spicy wasabi dried peas
    With some cold icy saki might ease
    My fair fussy spouse
    To undo her blouse,
    And let me proceed as I please.

  38. Byron Ives says:

    So you think hot wasabi peas
    Will get you in good with your squeeze?
    A PajamaGram, dude
    Will set the right mood
    Add good scotch. Enjoy the striptease!

  39. Ron B. says:

    Pique Performance

    If means are required to appease,
    there’s not much in you that she sees.
    If you must use a ruse
    — whether food, clothes, or booze. —
    you”re likely unable to please.

  40. Ron B. says:

    Plantation Nation

    Those in power because they appease
    those for whom they will do as they please
    — disregarding the law. —
    by the clout of their jaw
    rule a people whose freedom they seize.

  41. Fred Bortz says:

    I’m writing this verse to appease
    My five-line compulsion disease.
    My muse, so pathetic,
    It just whacks poetic.
    Sweet verse? No it’s Limburger cheese.

  42. Allen Wilcox says:

    Jack decided to try to use peas,
    But no stalks appeared, if you please.
    Elves did, but not giants.
    Jack bellowed defiance,
    “Now you all behave, or I’ll sneeze.”

  43. Allen Wilcox says:

    A prostitute tried to appease
    Her johns, who demanded she please.
    “Oh, come on now, fellas.
    I’ve got two sore patellas.
    I’ve been sucking too hard on my knees.”

  44. Allen Wilcox says:

    She decided to make porridge from peas,
    So she boiled it, then let it freeze.
    For nine days she meted
    It out – once reheated.
    Her children cried, “Stop, pretty please!”

  45. Judith H. Block says:

    A woman had tried to appease
    A guy that she wanted to please.
    Such a busy guy;
    She often will sigh!
    But she will continue to tease.

  46. Bee says:

    A gal told her kids, “Eat your peas
    or I’m going to tell all the bees!”
    The kids laughed out loud
    which scared a small crowd
    of mice eating lots of Swiss cheese

  47. Tim James says:

    With soft words I will try to appease
    My drunk gun-totin’ neighbor, ’cause he’s
    Seeing Martians advance
    As pink elephants dance.
    He’s outside right now, shooting the breeze.

  48. John Armstrong says:

    New Year’s rice and black-eyed peas
    Even though it’s thirteen degrees
    So winter’s gods appease

  49. madkane says:

    Thanks so much everyone for another fun week of limericks. This Limerick-Off is officially over. And the winner is…

    Congratulations to the Limerick of the Week Winner and the Honorable Mention Winners: Limerick of the Week 195.

    But you can still have lots of limerick fun because a new Limerick-Off has just begun: Mining Limericks.