Limerick Snag (Limerick-Off Monday)

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner next Sunday, right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:

A woman was trying to snag…*


A fellow who managed to snag…*


A woman encountered a snag…*


A man told his boss, “There’s a snag…”*

*(Please note that minor variations to my first lines are acceptable. However, rhyme words may not be altered, except by using homonyms or homophones.)

Here’s my limerick:

Limerick Snag
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A woman was racing to snag
A bargain-priced Michael Kors bag.
But two ladies, quite mean,
Caused a tug-of-war scene–
Shopping bagged cuz of hags — what a drag!

Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

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58 Responses to “Limerick Snag (Limerick-Off Monday)”

  1. C. Adams says:

    A woman was trying to snag
    A cure for her breasts that did sag.
    But her new bustenhalter,
    It started to falter.
    And her tits hit the floor. What a drag!

  2. Thomas Gorman says:

    A fellow who managed to snag
    A one-off date with a hagg
    He not only won,
    but managed to’ve done
    End up half in the bag.

  3. C. Adams says:

    A man told his boss, “There’s a snag.”
    Our servers are starting to lag.
    We must pull the plugs!
    Our site selling “thick rugs”
    Is confused by men wanting a “shag!”

  4. Thomas Gorman says:

    A man told his boss, “There’s a snag,
    Your offer of raise is a drag!”
    So off he went
    And depressed- got bent,
    His luggage then now just a bag.

  5. C. Adams says:

    A fellow who managed to snag
    A moll for an afternoon shag,
    Found something amiss
    When they started to kiss.
    Surprise! It’s a man dressed in drag!

  6. C. Adams says:

    Politicians are really a drag.
    Of their parties they constantly brag.
    But no party’s untainted
    With which they’re acquainted
    They just care if their poll numbers sag.

  7. C. Adams says:

    My sleep schedule has hit a snag.
    I must raise to this blog a white flag.
    I keep working on gimmicks
    For writing new limericks.
    My eyelids are starting to sag.

  8. Brian Allgar says:

    The seducer encountered a snag:
    The girl he’d picked up was a hag.
    But he grinned and he bore it:
    “At least I can score it –
    She’s only an overnight bag.”

  9. C. Adams says:

    A woman encountered a snag
    At a shoot for a new fashion mag.
    While striking a pose
    She busted her nose.
    She zigged when she should have gone zag.

  10. Jesse Levy says:

    A pilot was trying to snag
    a date with a comely young wag.
    But her seat’s crimson stain
    as she got off the plane,
    was really quite a red flag.

  11. John Sardo says:

    A woman was trying to snag
    While dancing the Carolina shag
    A fun guy with left feet
    Who missed every beat
    But a wag in a shag is worth two in a bag.

  12. John Sardo says:

    A fellow who managed to snag
    A woman so easy he’d brag
    Her clothes she would shed
    As he took her to bed
    Then admitted it all was a gag.

  13. Judith H. Block says:

    A woman was trying to snag
    A lim’rick win so she could brag.
    But her rivals are SMART!
    At least she’s good at art.
    Looks like the cat’s out of the bag.

  14. Judith H. Block says:

    A woman was trying to snag..
    A guy so great she’d want to brag.
    “But I need to smile,
    To keep up the guile..
    If not I look like an old hag!”

  15. Diane Groothuis says:

    A woman encountered a snag
    When her date was a man dressed in drag
    She said “Give me a chance
    I’d prefer you in pants
    In that garb you look like a fag”

  16. Diane Groothuis says:

    The cross -dresser met with a snag
    When she told him she didn’t like drag
    He said “Darling don’t worry
    There’s really no hurry
    There’s plenty of time for a shag”.

  17. Brian Allgar says:

    Macbeth was aware of a snag;
    On the heath, he was told by the hag
    “To be more than a thane,
    The old king must be slain”,
    But he found regicide such a drag.

  18. Mark Kane says:

    While flirting I hit a small snag.
    She scowled and reached for her bag.
    Then yelled, “Make my day!”
    As she sprayed pepper spray.
    I’m guessing she’s one I won’t shag.

  19. A woman was trying to snag
    the bastard who’d stolen her bag.
    She ran after him
    with vigor and vim,
    which made for a woeful sight gag.

  20. Judith H. Block says:

    A woman encountered a snag,
    Her happy mood began to sag.
    She had dropped her ring,
    But where? Baffling!
    In view of the rug’s heavy shag.

  21. Judith H. Block says:

    A woman encountered a snag
    She wanted a Birkin handbag.
    But she had to admit
    She could not commit-
    It was way too high a price-tag.

  22. Sally Franz says:

    A woman ran into a snag
    her husband she had to drag
    to the Nuitcracker Suite.
    He squirmed in his seat
    What a Nutcracker! What a nag!

  23. P Diane Schneider says:

    A woman encountered a snag
    While writing a piece for a rag
    About a Grande Dame
    So lacking in charm
    Was tempted to call her a hag

  24. Sue Dulley says:

    A cormorant, perched in a snag
    Said “Please do not call me a shag.
    There IS such a bird
    (Though it’s not a nice word)
    And it nests on some north Scottish crag.”

  25. Jon Gearhart says:

    If your cat’s nails are likely to snag,
    Then buying new carpet’s a drag.
    I’ve gotta say shucks then
    ‘Cause that really sucks when
    Your pussy can not have a shag.

  26. Jon Gearhart says:

    The Confederates hit a big snag
    And their egos would totally sag.
    Chattanooga was breached. It
    Was Grant who had reached it
    To generally defeat Braxton’s brag.

    Braxton Bragg was a Confederate General in the Civil War. He was defeated in the battle of Chattanooga by General Grant.

  27. Byron Ives says:

    Our golf outing hit a small snag
    Big Stu collapsed tending the flag
    Now what should we do?
    We hit, then lugged Stu
    The rest of the round was a drag

  28. Bob Dvorak says:

    A woman was trying to snag
    A rich dude with an XKE Jag.
    “Hey, Ricky! I’m loosey!
    Come look at my poosey!”
    Then let the cat out of the bag.

  29. Diane Groothuis says:

    Australia’s encountered a snag
    And time is beginning to lag
    When they went for a cup
    20 people holed up
    By a nut with an Islamic flag.

  30. Ron B. says:

    Hose Woes

    How cruel the fate that would snag
    unseen, on a wee little crag
    Sue’s last-of-that-hue
    sheer nylons so new
    they left her there holding the bag.

  31. yt cai says:

    Jane’s stocking developed a snag
    While climbing a treacherous crag
    Her black panty hose
    Hung on in the throes
    That tear got her a new body bag

  32. Ron B. says:

    Farmer Charmer

    A brash woman who managed to snag
    a young farmer who majored in “Ag”
    said she gladly would yield
    to his plow in her field
    if he kept all his seed in the bag.

  33. yt cai says:

    Jim’s wife ran into a small snag
    While hanging a decorative swag
    Atop the ladder she stood
    He could see under her hood
    There on the new carpet they’d shag

  34. yt cai says:

    Popeye ran into a wee snag
    Encountering an horny Seahag
    She wants a threesome
    And Olive to come
    Already he’s starting to brag

    When Bluto caught wind of this shag
    It helped raise his pirate ship’s flag
    While sailing avast
    With flag at full mast
    Problem is that his journey was stag

    Wimpy boarded the vessel with bag
    Full of food that makes dog tails wag
    A hamburger today
    No pay on Tuesday
    Prompted a lawsuit with the JAG

    Swee’ Pea found all this quite the drag
    A soap opera for a rumor mag
    Entertainment for kids
    Adults on the skids
    It could make poor Jerry Springer gag

  35. Middle Earth and Present Earth

    Every tree on the land is a snag,
    All around there’s but fire and slag.
    Hobbit life? There’s a dearth,
    Ekeing out of scorched earth.
    No white horse, just a black wingèd nag

  36. Andy Bassett says:

    A man told his boss “There’s a snag –
    That PA you managed to bag?
    She made a recording
    Of your filthy marauding
    And took pics of you wearing a gag.”

  37. Andy Bassett says:

    A man told his boss “There’s a snag –
    When you stepped out last night for a drag
    Your phrasing so British
    Made the hotel staff skittish
    When you asked the desk clerk for a fag.”

  38. Matt Regan says:

    A fellow had managed to snag
    A ball-gown, about which he’d brag:
    “I knew in i minute
    I’d look Perfect in it:
    I’ve a high co-efficient of drag”

  39. Matt Regan says:

    Or t’other way round:

    An engineer managed to snag
    A ball-gown about which She’d brag:
    “I knew in a minute
    I’d look perfect in it:
    I’ve a Low co-efficient of drag”

  40. Brian Allgar says:

    Absent-mindedness can be a snag;
    My penis is wrapped in a flag,
    And it’s tied in a knot,
    To remind me of what? …
    Oh, yes – must remember to shag.

  41. Ron B. says:

    Hire and Higher

    Said worker to boss, “There’s a snag…
    that canine whom YOU called a hag
    was the President’s wife
    who has just called your life
    a puppy that HER tail can wag!”

  42. Andy Bassett says:

    An excitable man hit a snag
    When driving his boss’s new Jag
    His missed a tight turn
    But we’re glad to confirm
    The efficacy of the airbag

  43. Brian Allgar says:

    The bimbo had hit on a snag;
    Thanks to silicone stuffed in a bag,
    Her breasts were quite sprightly,
    But, rather unsightly,
    Her bottom was starting to sag.

  44. Jon Gearhart says:

    My watch caught and made a big snag
    In Pearl’s sweater, and now the old bag
    Insists I’m not pullin’ knit,
    Unraveling the woollen knit–
    One Pearl, too, won’t pull on or drag.

  45. Fred Bortz says:

    A jockey was riding Miss Snag,
    A mare whose performance would lag.
    But when she felt the urge
    For a stallion, she’d surge
    Then that nag had the race in the bag.

  46. Allen Wilcox says:

    A transvestite’s life hit a snag,
    ‘Cause his passion had started to flag.
    He esxplains how she feels,
    “My feet hate the high heels.
    It’s a drag to be dressing in drag”

  47. Allen Wilcox says:

    The practical joke hit a snag
    When the victim, tied up in a bag
    Put over his head,
    Indignantly said,
    Through his gag, “Your dumb gag makes me gag,”

  48. Allen Wilcox says:

    A teller of tales hit a snag
    When one tale made his audience gag.
    From then on he was screwed,
    Because everyone booed.
    ‘Twas a case where the tale dogged the wag.

  49. Allen Wilcox says:

    Esoteric. To understand this one all you need to do is
    watch the 1979 comedy “The In-laws” starring Peter Falk
    and Alan Arkin.e –

    Now Shelly and Vince hit a snag,
    Under fire – how escape with the swag?
    Vincent yelled.”You’ll be fine
    If you run serpentine.
    Just make sure you don’t zig when I zag.

  50. Allen Wilcox says:

    Dark light verse.

    As the Vietnam war hit a “snag”,
    And morale did far more than just sag.
    Said a grunt, growing restive,
    “How about something festive?
    Let’s go out and have fun with a frag.”

  51. Tim James says:

    Bob McDonnell’s career hit a snag;
    He got caught taking thousands in swag.
    But his lawyers had talent;
    His defense was quite gallant:
    “My wife is a crazy old nag!”

  52. C. Adams says:

    To the newsstand a man went to snag
    The next issue of the “Small Penis” rag.
    The sales clerk named Lynn
    Said, “I don’t know if it’s in.”
    He replied, “Yes! That’s the name of the mag!”

  53. Konrad Schwoerke says:

    When I yanked on the monk’s tiny snag,
    His whole robe came apart like a rag.
    And beneath it: a furry!
    So he hid in a hurry,
    But the cat is now out of the bag.

  54. Konrad Schwoerke says:

    The President tugged at a snag,
    And was shortly as nude as a stag.
    So he called for his aide
    Who exclaimed, “The parade!
    How ’bout wrapping yourself in the flag?”

  55. Jon Gearhart says:

    If your wedding plans hit a big snag
    Causing you to turn into a hag,
    I hope that your groom
    Doesn’t let it consume
    All the feelings he had as you nag.

  56. Thomas Gorman says:

    A woman encountered a snag
    When putting on her nylons- OH DRAG!
    She took them off
    Not caring who scoffed,
    And threw them into a bag.

  57. Ron B. says:

    Sea Mail

    Two sailors in love outmaneuvered the snag
    of separate ships by their wig and their wag
    as they stood face-to-face
    In imagined embrace
    delighting in sexting by semaphore flag.

  58. madkane says:

    Thanks so much everyone for another fun week of limericks. This Limerick-Off is officially over. And the winner is…

    Congratulations to the Limerick of the Week Winner and the Honorable Mention Winners: Limerick of the week 194.

    But you can still have lots of limerick fun because a new Limerick-Off has just begun: Limerick Appeasement.