A Limerick Indeed (Limerick-Off Monday)

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner next Sunday, right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday at 11:59 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:

A woman had done a good deed…*


A man did a dastardly deed…*


A gal was reviewing a deed…*


A man who was selfish, indeed…*


A fellow who’d just done the deed…*

*(Please note that minor variations to my first lines are acceptable. However, rhyme words may not be altered, except by using homonyms or homophones.)

Here’s my limerick:

A Limerick Indeed
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A man who was selfish, indeed,
Would refuse to help people in need.
When asked to give aid,
He brayed and he nayed:
“I have ten champion horses to feed.”

Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

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73 Responses to “A Limerick Indeed (Limerick-Off Monday)”

  1. Radnoft Pladzitcki says:

    A fellow who’d just done the deed
    Was high when he planted the seed
    In nine months to the day
    And without delay
    The baby arrived with some speed.

  2. Gary Hallock says:

    A woman performed a good deed
    By off’ring one last chance to breed
    But her ex, poor dude!
    Alas, he got screwed
    ‘Twas a failure, though she did suck seed

  3. Radnoft Pladzitcki says:

    A fellow who’d just done the deed
    With a wrinkled old whore out of need
    Found later that year
    That disease Gonorreah
    Was like passing fish hooks when he peed.

  4. A woman had done a good deed
    By helping her neighbour to weed.
    But, as she couldn’t discern
    A rose from a fern,
    The results were not guaranteed.

  5. Sancho Panza says:

    A fellow who’d just done the deed,
    Ejecting his cache of seed,
    Confessed with a grin,
    That it was fun going in,
    But the ending had left him weak knee’d.

  6. Mark Kane says:

    A baker had done a good deed.
    Turned a young man away from his greed.
    “Sure you’re chasing the bread,
    But don’t be mislead,
    You just might find, you’ll get what you knead.”

  7. Mark Kane says:

    She proceeded to cede their house deed
    To her “Ex” as a way to mislead.
    With housing now tanking,
    She’d give him a spanking,
    While divorcing, still feeding her greed.

  8. Radnoft Pladzitcki says:

    A Cardinal who’d just done the deed
    Mused as he stood there and peed
    It’s the Lord we must thank
    That a fuck beats a wank
    To which he and the Bishop agreed.

  9. John Sardo says:

    A gal was reviewing a deed
    For a barn while riding her steed.
    But the door it was low
    So her head took a blow
    And quickly it started to bleed.

  10. John Sardo says:

    A man did a dastardly deed
    He removed from his pet all its feed
    The poor dog threw a fit
    But no way did it shit.
    Instead on the floor it humongously peed.
    A woman had done a good deed.
    Cleaned the floor where a hungry dog peed.
    For sure she was plucky
    Considered herself lucky.
    It was only a dog not a steed.

  11. Nessa says:


    a woman tried to do her wifely deed
    by making a fresh batch of mead
    she made it quite strong
    which might have been wrong
    since her hubby fell from his steed

  12. Cyn says:

    Two minutes to pull off the deed
    is all any mister will need.
    A few more he’ll do
    if you care to come too,
    but what a dude’s built for is speed.

  13. Judith H. Block says:

    A woman had done a good deed,
    She saved a cat who was in need.
    She reported the crime,
    And donated her time.
    Blessings to her and Godspeed!

  14. Hansi says:

    A man was selfish, indeed
    Because he refused to share any of his weed
    When asked by a bloke
    For just one little toke
    He only gave him a stem and a seed.

  15. rbasler says:

    A fellow who’d been maitre d’d
    At a restaurant, began to show greed
    Nobody was able
    To get a good table
    “I’m sorry, we’re full, sir, mais oui!”

  16. Radnoft Pladzitcki says:

    A young Shrubber with one urgent need
    Longed for woman with whom he could breed
    Spied a girl up a trellis
    So took out his phallus
    Climbed up and planted his seed.

  17. Mark Kane says:

    Mother caught him while doing the deed:
    “When you’re older that seed is to breed,
    And not just for fun!”
    She told her young son,
    “But for now, sure it’s fine to proceed.”

  18. Kathy El-Assal says:

    He found her quite pretty, indeed,
    So he bolstered his courage with weed.
    He attempted a joke
    After taking a toke,
    But it left him tongue-tied and knocʞkneed.

  19. Cyn says:

    Miss Brook was a broad trough indeed
    Mister Flood looked to often to feed.
    When he started to rise
    she spread her banks’ thighs
    giving way for his surge to recede.

  20. Sorry to go off-topic, but I just posted an old Labor Day verse I wrote some 20 years ago… it’s not entirely a limerick, but each section gradually turns into one, so I thought it might be worth sharing: Labor Day

    (Mad, feel free to delete this if you think it’s inappropriate.)

  21. Craig says:

    The young actress was pretty indeed
    (And the men she seduced all agreed)
    Though she read from the heart
    She did not get the part
    But she did, I am told, get the lead.

  22. Patrice of the ManyCats says:

    How he loves others’ dastardly deed,
    Propelled by his anger and need.
    Why’s he in such a Rush?
    He can just kiss our (tush):
    Seeding more Rep conniving? No need.

  23. Fred Bortz says:

    With Kirk, Spock, and Sulu, indeed,
    You can break Einstein’s limit on speed,
    For just as you want ’em,
    Each Higgs, quark, and quantum
    Fulfill your warp drive’s every need.

  24. Fred Bortz says:

    Herr Schroedinger did a good deed.
    From his box, that poor feline was freed.
    Then he said, “Das is gut.
    Though my test is kaput,
    This PETA award’s what I need.”

  25. Cyn says:

    My parties weren’t well-attendeed
    until sped up a wee bit with speed,
    crack cocaine, LSD,
    heroin, ecstasy,
    all well-seasoned with mushrooms and weed.

  26. Radnoft Pladzitcki says:

    “I feel really happy indeed”
    Said the Bishop spilling his seed
    Into an old whore
    Not knowing she bore
    A disease that he didn’t need.

  27. Mark Kane says:

    She was horney and randy indeed,
    With no goal to try and mislead,
    But when showing her yen,
    For young able men,
    Her goal was to stem a stampede.

  28. Fred Bortz says:

    “To be or to not? Yes, indeed.
    That is the question we heed.
    It’s hard to decide.
    Should I self-regicide?”
    Prince Hamlet solil-liloquyed.

    The Bard wrote it better, indeed.
    But for him meter didn’t impede.
    All the world, even Siam,
    Knows a poor poet iamb,
    Which is why one more “lil” I did need.

  29. Radnoft Pladzitcki says:

    A Miser who was selfish indeed
    Amassed riches that he’d never need
    On himself he just spent
    But in the end he just went
    And died like the rest of our breed.

  30. A man did a dastardly deed
    By stealing the old farmer’s fine steed
    The farmer’s sharpshooter son
    Came out with a gun
    The horse thief has now gone to seed.

  31. The UK Parliament did a good deed,
    By voting down Dave Cameron’s lead,
    Bombing Assad,
    Makes us seem mad,
    Obama, Hollande please take heed.

  32. Jon Gearhart says:

    When a woman gave to us the word ‘deed’
    To compose our reply with great speed
    In reading each first line
    All the women come off fine.
    Men are selfish and a dastardly breed! :-)

  33. Cyn says:

    It’s said China now owns the deed
    as the price of our folly and greed.
    What with partisan bickering,
    dallying and dickering,
    the US of A’s been DCed.

  34. Cyn says:

    What hooks up a word with its deed
    as well as two good friends agreed,
    no matter how crossed,
    no matter what cost,
    each wishing the other godspeed?

  35. Kirk Miller says:

    Lack of ethics, a problem indeed.
    Making money — executives’ creed.
    Money’s love to excess
    May not end in success.
    What’s the problem? It’s avarice, aGREED?

  36. Kirk Miller says:

    The young call girl was lovely indeed.
    With her mouth lots of sperm she had freed.
    And her blow jobs, I guess,
    Made her quite a success.
    Yes, she really knew how to suck-seed.

  37. Cyn says:

    A gentleman, to a kind deed
    not seeking return guaranteed,
    won’t return none the less
    having left such a mess—
    When you cut him he can’t help but bleed.

  38. Tim James says:

    Gordon Gekko’s most dastardly deed
    Was obeying the dictates of greed.
    Though the movie was fiction
    ‘Twas a spot-on prediction
    For “The Street” gladly followed his lead.

  39. Cyn says:

    Damascus has pulled off some deed,
    it is rumored, not paying due heed:
    international laws
    only work when one’s cause
    is one we’ll allow to succeed.

  40. Cyn says:

    For committing an odious deed,
    the Syrians might need to cede.
    Who cares? It’s just poker
    for one D.C. joker,
    for whom “serious” ain’t in his creed.

  41. brian miller says:

    a man had done a good deed
    much like he’d planted a seed
    he hoped it’s grow
    much more than a show
    his hopes it did more an exceed

  42. Cyn says:

    To pull off a daredevil deed,
    a show-off exceeded warp speed
    going down a steep hill.
    We have proof of his thrill
    in debris left behind where he skied.

  43. Cyn says:

    A problem was soon remedied
    when the guy who’d been having it peed.
    Before he was through,
    he’d pooped a lot too.
    Call “more public restrooms” a need.

  44. scott says:

    I was late to the party indeed,
    yet decided to join the stampede,
    so I watched Breaking Bad,
    found it dreadful and sad,
    I’ve never been quite up to Speed.

  45. Mark Kane says:

    He was righteous in word and in deed.
    This preacher, he stepped out to lead.
    With fervor, no falter,
    His flock at the altar,
    He fleeced them to fund his own greed.

  46. Mark Kane says:

    Now Microsoft’s finished the deed:
    It’s merging with Nokia, a Swede?
    Apart, both were falling,
    Their phone sales appalling.
    But together? They just might succeed!

  47. Fred Bortz says:

    The particle physicists’ deed:
    Sending hadrons to smash at light speed.
    They needed huge digs
    To discover the Higgs
    And they found it–at least so I read.

    The particle’s namesake, indeed,
    Was wondering, hoping that he’d
    Have life long enough
    To unravel that stuff
    And have its existence decreed.

    Now he’s hoping for one more great deed,
    To hear the committee agreed
    That he’ll share the Nobel
    And all will be well,
    But that’s certainly not guaranteed.

  48. Ailsa McKillop says:

    In signing the partnership deed
    Did Nokia from Finland secede?
    Whichever employed—
    Be it Windows or ‘droid
    A Swede’s not that breed, it’s agreed.

  49. Cyn says:

    Informing her lover, “Indeed,
    some ride you give,” a gal agreed.
    “But for what it is worth,
    judging by length and girth,
    you sure ain’t no thoroughbred steed.”

  50. Cyn says:

    A teen told her father, “Indeed,
    you texted me. That I’ll concede.
    But I’ve not the skill
    of texting while still—
    I have to be driving to read.”

  51. yt cai says:

    The mirror was unkind, indeed
    To the farmer planting a seed
    Having suffered the pain
    Of applying Rogaine
    And watching his hairline recede

  52. Cyn says:

    A dude to the judge said, “Indeed,
    I was drunk when I crashed at high speed.
    But now that I’m sober
    and’ve thought my rights over,
    it ain’t THAT fifth I wish to plead.”

  53. Patrice of the ManyCats says:

    Oh yes, he had just done the deed;
    He heeded “the call” and he peed.
    “Another disaster!
    Bud, can’t you learn faster?”
    …Remember, your puppy can’t read.

  54. Diane Groothuis says:

    An iPhone was selfish indeed
    Saying “get me the Simcards I need
    I hoard and I store
    Games photos and more
    And Apples are apples indeed.”

  55. Cyn says:

    Mad Kane’s always first with the deed
    of selecting and planting good seed
    to spark inspiration
    for limerickization
    by writers who’ll follow her lead.

  56. Jeep Walters says:

    A man who was selfish, indeed
    was quite overcome by his greed.
    When told with agility
    to get some humility,
    we scoffed, “I have all that I need!”

  57. Diane Groothuis says:

    A mountaineer doing a deed
    With an ice- maiden (possibly Swede)
    Had just reached the bottom
    When somebody got ‘im
    With “how did you get there?” “I ski-ed”

  58. Johanna Richmond says:

    “Which one of you dogs did this deed?”
    Bess barks out in a well-rehearsed screed.
    But she sits when ears wilt
    In confederate guilt —
    Bassets know how to make your heart bleed.

  59. Craig says:

    The old Onceler was nasty indeed;
    Used up resources feeding his greed.
    But then up popped the Lorax
    Who said “Put down your axe;
    It’s Truffula trees we all need!”

  60. Stephen Fleming says:

    A woman had done a good deed
    By mounting a crestfallen steed.
    They romped and they bucked
    To his vigor reconstruct.
    “We both convalesced.” She’d concede.

  61. Kirk Miller says:

    Watch the cadence and meter, indeed,
    In your limericks; something to heed.
    When the rhythm’s a mess,
    What’s the answer? I guess
    That a meter maid’s just what you need.

  62. Konrad Schwoerke says:

    The daft Duke did a dangerous deed.
    ’Twas ungraciously gauche most agreed,
    An unthinkable thing
    In the court of a king.
    Not the place I’d’ve picked to have peed!

  63. Konrad Schwoerke says:

    Argh, I really dislike things that auto-correct, Mad—please forgive the ass-backward apostrophe in L2.

    Note from Mad Kane: I fixed it for you. :)

  64. Ailsa McKillop says:

    ‘Twas a small Scottish island indeed.
    The gift-shop had all one could need
    Top to floor, wall to wall—
    Is there anything, at all,
    Can’t be made out of fine Harris Tweed?

  65. Dr. Goose says:

    A woman who did a good deed
    To help those who may be in need
    Disclosed: “My largess
    Is in gold ETFs,
    So performance is not guaranteed.”

  66. Dr. Goose says:

    The bank may foreclose on your deed
    If you happen to fall into need.
    If your payments are sound,
    They might still impound,
    Based on errors or general greed.

  67. Dr. Goose says:

    Said Gramps: “Tell me, who did the deed?”
    (As someone had planted a seed.)
    “In my day, when you lacked
    A marriage contract,
    We thought it improper to breed.”

  68. Dr. Goose says:

    “You’ve been positively ID’ed,”
    Said the cop as the rights he did read.
    “When you’re caught on a cam
    While out on the lam,
    The question is: how do you plead?”

  69. Dr. Goose says:

    “Damascus is guilty indeed,”
    Said Kerry to those who would heed,
    While Obama, in Sweden,
    Is beggin’ and pleadin’
    For those who would follow his lead.

  70. Dr. Goose says:

    A fellow who nearly OD’ed
    On barbituates, liquor and weed
    Explained to the nurse:
    “Though it could have been worse,
    Methamphetamine isn’t my speed.”

  71. Cyn says:

    To pull off this limericking deed
    I had mine try rhymes A to Z-ed
    ’til the latest from Mad
    pointed where mine went bad —
    my humor is all done off-keyed.

  72. madkane says:

    Thanks so much everyone for another fun week of limericks. This Limerick-Off is officially over. And the winner is…

    Congratulations to the Limerick of the Week Winner, the Facebook Friends’ Choice Award Winner, and the Honorable Mention Winners!

    Limerick of the Week 130.

    But you can still have lots of limerick fun because a new Limerick-Off has just begun: Limerick Eyes.

  73. There was a man who thought
    72 responses to a limerick..
    would be enough…
    The 72 Virgins were..
    Never really needed anyway..

    I hope that is Limerick….
    enough to meet the grade..
    as KATIE MIA Frederick..
    can only imitate..
    and sing with choir..if you will..