Limerick of the Week (93)

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.

Congratulations to Craig Dykstra, who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:

In our chimney, old Santa was blue.
He was stuck, and not sure what to do.
My son, filled with dread
Asked “Is Santa Claus dead?”
“No, he just has a bad case of flue.”

Congratulations to Kathy El-Assal. who wins a Special Limerick Award for her limerick about the Newtown massacre:

Founding Fathers just couldn’t foretell
That “militias” might lead to this Hell.
Though to laws we defer,
We plainly prefer
The “right to bare arms” like Michelle.

Congratulations to Colleen Murphy, who wins this week’s Facebook Friends’ Choice Award, for this limerick which received the most Facebook “likes.”

Our forefathers roll in their grave
When they see how our people behave.
Their doctrine amended
Was never intended
To murder our youth, but to save.

And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Chris Doyle, Scott Crowder, Craig Dykstra, Jamie Hutchinson, and Johanna Richmond. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:

Chris Doyle:

A gazelle is alone, feeling blue,
As he paces his pen at the zoo.
He’s been wondering if he
Will get up a stiffy
And ever go wooing a gnu.

Scott Crowder:

A woman who always wore blue
Didn’t manage to get to the loo,
And now can be seen
Wearing panties of green,
As blue mixed with yellow will do.

Craig Dykstra:

The sign on the door was in blue:
“Shoes and shirts, or we cannot serve you.”
But that waitress looked pissed
So I’m thinkin’ that list
Maybe shoulda had “pants” on it, too.

Jamie Hutchinson:

The regatta announcer felt blue
And his face turned a scarlet-tinged hue
When he slipped: “Team One’s sloop
Is the best of the group,
But as sailors go, I like Two’s crew.”

And a 2-verse limerick from Johanna Richmond:

Ain’t it lovely when out of the blue,
Someone’s kindhearted words pull you through?
How you all make me laugh!
That and half a carafe,
And I’m suddenly feeling brand new.

But truly, you masters of jest
Have brightened my world –you’re the best.
Should have known all the while
Where to go for a smile –
Love you all! Now I’ll give it a rest.

Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.

In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

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8 Responses to “Limerick of the Week (93)”

  1. Craig says:

    Wow. A great crop of limericks this week; I’m honored by your selections!


  2. Johanna Richmond says:

    Thank you, Mad! Congratulations and happy holidays to all!

  3. Warning: This is the sadddest Limerick I have ever written.

    Please someone, take me to my Mummy.
    I’m six with big pain in my tummy.
    I started to run,
    But bad man with gun
    Shot me. WHY? Shouldn’t grownups be chummy?

    Catholics, let’s now talk about Heaven
    And 20 kids most six or seven.
    Will Christ let them in
    With Original Sin?
    “Heavens NO,” said rotund Bishop Kevin.

    Now Jesus, I have to critique.
    Should the parents turn their other cheek
    And forgive the guy
    Whose bullets did fly
    Sending their tots across Charon’s creek?

    If you say Yes, Lord give me a break.
    Think of little Sue, Murray and Jake
    And seventeen others
    Whose Fathers and Mothers
    Care not that your Heaven’s at stake.

    One of YOUR sheep dealt them saddest blow.
    Now, I’m sure they all want to know,
    Why You, so powerful
    Allowed these sorrowful
    Murders. Please Lord tell us, WHY is it so?

  4. Jane Hoffman says:

    Congrats to all of the Christmas winners!!!!!! What a great start to the week for you!!!

  5. Granny Smith says:

    Congratulations to all! What a wonderful set of winners!

  6. madkane says:

    Congratulations again to the winners, and have a great holiday week!

  7. Jesse Levy says:

    Great stuff by all. Happy holidays!

  8. madkane says:

    You too, Jesse!