Limerick of the Week (79)

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.

Congratulations to David Lefkovits a/k/a Dr. Goose who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:

A woman was planning a spread
“For the birthday,” she said, “of my Fred.
He’s a sorry schlemiel
Without much appeal,
But surprisingly useful in bed.”

Congratulations to Susan Taylor, who wins this week’s Facebook Friends’ Choice Award for this limerick which received the most Facebook “likes.”

A rich man was planning a spread
Of ads full of lies to be read.
“We’ll swing the election!
Evade all detection!
It’s free speech, the High Court has said.”

Congratulations to Johanna Richmond, who wins this special Limerick Repartee Award for her limerick written in response to Craig Dykstra’s Limerick of the Week winner from last week. To fully appreciate Johanna’s verse, you need to read Craig’s and Johanna’s limericks back to back. So here they are:

Craig Dykstra:

The bed buyer started to preen,
Though the mattress guy’d said something mean:
He had looked at her mass
And the size of her ass
And said “Madam, you’re fit for a queen!”

Johanna Richmond:

A woman, caressing her spread,
To the squirt at the Sealy store said,
“Queen indeed, but I fear
You can’t satisfy, dear:
Extra firm’s what I like in my bed.”

And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Tim James, Carolyn Henly, Jane Shelton Hoffman, Daniel Ari, Jamie Hutchinson, and Colleen Murphy. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:

Tim James:

A fellow was planning a spread;
“A barbecue’s coming!” he said.
But a shortage of beef
Gave him all kinds of grief.
Now no one can find Mr. Ed.

Carolyn Henly:

A woman was planning a spread,
But she wasn’t quite right in the head.
The theme of her gig
Was “A Night in the Brig.”
She served nothing but water and bread.

Jane Shelton Hoffman:

While a rancher was checking his spread,
He found a lone cow in a shed.
“The bull is out wooing.
I don’t feel like screwing.
I really don’t want to be bred!”

Daniel Ari: (For an extra laugh check out his limerick link.)

I, Daniel, am planning a spread
Of humus, falafel and bread;
And since my own pate
Is smooth as a plate,
I’ll serve it on top of my head.

Jamie Hutchinson:

When a shepherd boy laid out a spread
For his lover, she turned tail and fled.
“What was it, my pet,
That spoiled our duet?
The haggis? Or something I said?”

Colleen Murphy:

A dingbat was planning a spread,
But mixed up her plans in her head.
She mashed the tomatoes
And sliced raw potatoes,
Then stuffed the fresh duck in the bread.

Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.

In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

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11 Responses to “Limerick of the Week (79)”

  1. Bill Klein says:

    I would have chosen Craig Dykstra’s Daisy Mae limerick as the winner, but then I am a sucker for Dogpatch-speak.

  2. Johanna Richmond says:

    I’m honored to see my limerick next to Craig’s! Thanks for creating a new award for the occasion, Mad! (Or have you done that one before? I like it!)

  3. Johanna Richmond says:

    And congrats to all the winners — fun limericks, everyone!

  4. Dr. Goose says:

    Madeleine, thanks very much for the honor! This week’s L-O was great fun as always, and my hat’s off to you for keeping it going!

  5. Craig says:

    Aw shuckins, Bill – thanky kindly.

  6. Jim Pankey says:

    I enjoy the site so much; love reading the witty limericks, all.

  7. Granny Smith says:

    Congratulations to all the winners – a truly deserving lot! I’m glad to see my dear friend Sue Taylor (in person, not just on Facebook) as one of the top winners.

  8. madkane says:

    Congratulations once again to all the winners.
    And Johanna, to answer your question, this is the first Limerick Repartee Award I’ve given. It won’t be a regular award, but I’ll certainly be giving one out when warranted. :)

  9. Jim Pankey says:

    So enjoyable, well done all.

  10. Jane Hoffman says:

    These were all great, and I am proud to be among the HMs!!!

  11. madkane says:

    Congratulations again to the winners!