Limerick of the Week (63)

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.

Congratulations to Robert Schechter who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:

A virgin who tried to persuade
His friend that last night he’d been laid
Answered this when his chum
Asked him, “Well, did she come?”:
“Of course she did! What’s more, she stayed!”

Congratulations to Jason Talbott who wins this week’s Facebook Friends’ Choice Award for this limerick which received the most Facebook “likes.”

A fellow who tried to persuade
Me to guess at how much his wife weighed
Didn’t mention that she
Was right there behind me.
I got smacked. Guessed too high, I’m afraid.

And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Jim Delaney, Mary Rosenthal Mansfield a/k/a Write Wing Conspiracy, Phyllis Sterling Smith a/k/a Granny Smith, Craig Dykstra, Scott Crowder, and Bruce Niedt. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:

Jim Delaney:

A fellow once tried to persuade
His wife that his train was delayed,
But his place on the map
(From his GPS app)
Gave the lie to his shabby charade.

Mary Mansfield:

A fellow had tried to persuade
His girlfriend to let him get laid,
But his kinky sex game
She found totally lame,
Now his ecstasy must be hand-made.

Phyllis Sterling Smith, a/k/a Granny Smith:

A woman who tried to persuade
Bill collectors that bills had been paid
Sailed off on a cruise
Where they found out her ruse
So de-shipped her and left her to wade.

Craig Dykstra:

The drill sergeant tried to persuade
His young private that haste should be made.
“I don’t mean to shout,
But I need to point out
That’s the pin you threw, not the grenade!”

Scott Crowder:

A fellow who tried to persuade
His wife to lie back while he played,
Like a pirate and plunder,
Her treasures down under,
Was stopped by a Navel blockade.

Bruce Niedt:

Two fellows once tried to persuade
Their dates they were both macho-grade.
But the gals looked and sniggered
‘Cos they had them figgered –
One swaggered, the other sashayed.

Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.

In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

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5 Responses to “Limerick of the Week (63)”

  1. Jane Hoffman says:

    You all have persuaded me that you deserved to win!!!!!

  2. scott says:

    Congrats Robert! Very funny!
    Thanks MadK!

  3. Johanna Richmond says:

    Love your winning limerick, Robert! Great batch all around!

  4. Veralynne says:

    WOW! Such gems of lim’ricking!
    All straight-up real with no tricking!
    Madam Mad’d not allow
    Any of us to take a bow
    If we were caught gold bricking!

    I know! It makes little sense, but………… Congrats all, anyway!)

  5. madkane says:

    Fun verse, Veralynne. And congrats once again to all the winners!