Limerick of the Week (47)

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off. I’m very pleased to announce the winning Limerick of the Week and the Honorable Mentions:

Congratulations to JIM DELANEY who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:

The chairman was trying to lead
An attack upon corporate greed,
But his own compensation
Would fund a small nation —
Not quite the credentials you need.

And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Neal Pattison, Bruce Niedt, Edmund Conti, David Lefkovits a/k/a Dr. Goose, and Phyllis Sterling Smith a/k/a Granny Smith. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:

Neal Pattison:

A fellow was trying to lead
A life filled with daring and deed.
To his friends, who all hooted,
He said, “I’m well suited,”
As he buttoned his Seville Row tweed.

Bruce Niedt:

A salesman was trying to lead
His date to a sexual deed.
But when he unzipped
She took one look and quipped,
“Satisfaction is NOT guaranteed!”

Edmund Conti:

A fellow was trying to lead
His wife to the mens’ room (Great need!)
Said his wife, “Not a chance!
We’re going to dance.”
So they danced on and on while he peed.

David Lefkovits:

A fellow who wanted to lead
The nation in turning from greed,
Found most in agreement,
When thinking that he meant
The other guy’s greedy misdeed.

Phyllis Sterling Smith a/k/a Granny Smith:

A fellow was trying to lead
His small pup (newly bought, pedigreed).
The son of a bitch
Would rather just ITCH
Than be led to the vet and deFLEAed.

Phyllis adds this Limerick Note:

In my rhyming I have this strange vanity
That my jokes not depend on profanity.
That small dog with the itch
Was the offspring of bitch.
To rely on swear-words is insanity!

Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.

In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

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9 Responses to “Limerick of the Week (47)”

  1. Veralynne says:

    They’re all great, but I LOVE Phyllis’–both the original AND the additional note lim!

  2. Jim Delaney says:

    Thanks for this second honour of first place, Mad, and thanks to all who “liked” my limerick on your Facebook page. I don’t know whether that affects the result in any way, but it’s appreciated nonetheless.

  3. Versebender says:

    Great winners…thanks for the laughs!

  4. scott says:

    Congrat Jim-great rhyme. Unlike Bruce’s character, when it comes to great limericks satisfaction IS guaranteed here at Mad’s!

  5. madkane says:

    Congratulations once again to all the winners!

    And regarding Jim Delaney’s implied question about the impact of Facebook likes on the results, here’s the deal: I don’t base my Limerick-Off selections on Facebook “likes.” However, once I’ve made my preliminary decision, I scan through the likes to see if perhaps I’ve overlooked a great limerick. I do remember one occasion where a limerick that I didn’t quite “get” had gotten a ton of “likes.” So I gave it another look and realized I’d missed a clever, pop cultural reference. So that limerick ended up getting an Honorable Mention.

  6. Granny Smith says:

    Thank you, Mad, for including me in this set of clever limerick writers. Every one was one that I had “liked” on facebook.

  7. Dr. Goose says:

    Thanks for the honorable mention, and congrats to Jim Delaney, whose verse I particularly enjoyed.

  8. Johanna Richmond says:

    Very nice limericks — I agree completely with the sentiments, Jim, Congrats to all!

  9. madkane says:

    Thanks everyone for your kind comments!