Ticked Off By Facebook’s Ticker (2 Limericks)

I’ve been trying to find something good to say about Facebook’s new News Feed, and here it is: It’s very inspirational! Last night it inspired me to write this dizzy limerick. And now I’ve written two more:

If you like things that constantly flicker,
You’re sure to enjoy Facebook’s ticker.
As for me, I must flee:
My sore brain needs Chablis,
So I’m off for some Advil and liquor.


I am not one to bitch and to bicker,
But I hate Facebook’s stupid new ticker.
It makes my brain ache!
How much more can I take?
Enough with the scrolling and flicker!


(Here’s a fun post about limericks, where you can submit your own.)

UPDATE: Good news! I’ve found a solution to Facebook’s terrible News Ticker problem. You can read all about it here, including a celebratory limerick.

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21 Responses to “Ticked Off By Facebook’s Ticker (2 Limericks)”

  1. Hehehe. I totally agree! That new facebook ticker isn’t for me. :)

  2. Pat Hatt says:

    Yes the new facebook ticker is the equivalent of a kitty butt licker.

  3. Yes! It is confusing! I don’t even like the access to other parts of Facebook! Ever tried to keep pace with your selected groups!??? That’s a minefield!

  4. Steve says:

    Arrrgh! FB is driving many of us batty. Thank you for expressing your thoughts about it in a limerick, Mad.

  5. Daisy Mae says:

    How nice to find a NON-FLICKERING page!

    On a more serious note, as the mother of a teenager with epilepsy (who spends time on facebook) I’m wondering if this flickering will be harmful…For those who might not know, some of the so-called ‘energy saving’ light bulbs have been known to cause seizures…

    *Sigh*- THANKS, Mad, for making light of an irritating annoyance!

    To Mad for her great work today
    Her humor makes pain go away
    Facebookers aren’t happy
    GO BACK! Make it SNAPPY!
    And to Mad, a humongous TOUCHE’!

  6. madkane says:

    Thanks so much, everyone! The only thing that FB “improvement” is good for is limerick inspiration. :)

    And Daisy, thanks so much for your delightful limerick. I loved it!

    Daisy, I’m so sorry to hear about your daughter’s epilepsy! It wouldn’t surprise me if this turned out to be harmful. And it might be worth having her put her friends into a custom list and viewing the custom list feed instead of the news feed. That’s what I’ve been doing — there’s no ticker on the custom list feed pages.

    While I’ve never had seizures, thank heavens, I often have very strange, strong reactions to flickering lights, disco lighting, even driving on a tree-lined parkway with sunlight intermittently streaming between the trees. Even covering my eyes doesn’t help. It feels like it’s doing strange things to my brain. And so does that damn FB Ticker!

    PS I only cover my eyes in the car when I’m a passenger. :)

  7. fabulous limerick..

    Thanks for sharing.

  8. makes me feel glad i don’t teet or FB LOL! :O)

  9. Oops that should be Tweet and Facebook ;O)

  10. not much a Facebook fan, thanks for sharing such a cool piece.

  11. Ann LeFlore says:

    You have the best limericks and they are so well done. I love your facebook limericks and they make me laugh so hard. I have read so many of your limericks and you have a great way with words when it comes to writing them.
    Limerick Madness

  12. Mike Patrick says:

    Madeleine, loved the limerick.

    So far, I have not seen one positive comment about the new FaceBook look. With all the heat FaceBook MUST be receiving, I’m wondering why they don’t add another line of code allowing an opt-out feature. Just because geeks are smart doesn’t mean they have comment sense.

  13. Morning says:

    you make a touchy issue sound fun and lovely.

  14. madkane says:

    Thanks so much, everyone! As I said in my update to this post, I did find a solution to my FB problems. Thank heavens!

  15. Why can I hear Carl Kasell’s voice as I read your limericks? I don’t know if you are familiar with “Wait! Wait! Don’t Tell Me1” on NPR, but your limericks, which are done well, sound like ones he reads. It is nice to read limericks that actually follow the rhyme scheme. Thanks for sharing!

  16. madkane says:

    Colleen, what a lovely compliment! Thanks! And yes, I love that show!

  17. The Gooseberry Garden says:

    Poetry Form: Limerick

    featured your limerick in our post, the most updated one, of course,

    feel free to visit and leave a comment, share with the purple tree house or link to our week 6 poetry picnic,

    we are open until 8pm today.

  18. lovely rhythm and rhyme and agreement with the sentiments!

  19. Bodhirose says:

    I know that you have now found a remedy for the “flicker” so I’m glad for that. These are fun, Madeleine and so is your celebratory limerick!

  20. Terri says:

    That’s just too funny for words! My MS brain can’t take all that crap in either, lol. Good job! Blessings, Terri

  21. Kay Davies says:

    Facebook annoys me in more ways than one. (That could be a good first line for a limerick if I could remove one syllable.)
    Good for you, getting FB frustrations out in rhyme!

    Kay, Alberta, Canada
    An Unfittie’s Guide to Adventurous Travel