My Chances Of Watching TV Are Remote

This week Big Tent Poetry provides a bunch of word prompts, urging us to use one or more in our poems. I used three of them in my haiku (remote, function, handle) and one in a limerick (remote.)

First, my limerick:

I’m tempted to hide the remote
From my spouse in a closet or coat,
Cuz he flicks ev’ry station
In rapid rotation.
Missing show after show gets my goat.

And now my haiku:

Dysfunctional spouse
Wields remote ADD-style.
Wife can’t handle it.

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21 Responses to “My Chances Of Watching TV Are Remote”

  1. Hansi says:

    The chances for a new idea are remote
    All my thoughts, never seems to float
    Be that as it may
    I give up. What the hey.
    I just don’t want to hear your smart ass gloat.

  2. scott says:

    Too funny, Mad. My wife says that when I have the remote it’s like watching OCD-TV.

  3. When he gets the remote, I usually leave the room in self defence.
    Great theme!

  4. Christopher says:

    I’m a hopeless surfer unless the show is riveting. I live alone. Are these connected?

  5. Joanne Johns says:

    Haha! Very good :)

    They should invent a remote where you can only change channels every 30 minutes!

  6. Very Cute…and True! I really enjoyed these! I think the limerick could go under one of those Sunday morning cartoons in the paper!

  7. Elizabeth J. says:

    How cute and fun! I agree with Jeanne that it would be perfect for a Sunday morning cartoon page :)

  8. Linda says:

    You’ve captured this characteristic of the mad surfers—

  9. scott says:

    Madeleine, with all due respect, I stand firmly in Mark’s corner. Why limit yourself to one show when you can watch several? Commercials suck and although I miss a few show endings, it beats watching ads of cavemen and lizards selling insurance.

    And there is so much going on. Andrew Zimmerman is eating Yak’s ass soup, the Ghost Adventurers are running out of an abandoned sanitarium screaming like little girls, Ancient Aliens have impregnated Mary and the Mythbusters are testing the legend that a man will go blind if he does ‘it’ too much.

    I need to see it all! (and I don’t want to lose my eyesight.)

  10. Well, I am with the males here! I change channels all the time!

    tears of the sky fall to the ground

  11. Amanda Moore says:

    so awesome love them both!!!!!

  12. barbara says:

    In our house, I’m the mad clicker.
    THE remote was my first association when I saw the word in the wordle. My thesaurus didn’t have that usage covered, oddly enough.

  13. Laurie Kolp says:

    Most men, remote boars they are
    Worse than a whore at a bar.
    Wiggle and squiggle,
    Their fingers jiggle
    Leaving the show quite bizarre.

  14. madkane says:

    Thanks so much everyone for your wonderful comments, compliments, and verse!

  15. Tumblewords says:

    Yup, good work – I remember those days – now I’m in charge, if I can remember where I last saw the remote.

  16. Bone says:

    I’ve been accused of that as well. I don’t deny it, though I don’t think I’m usually even conscious of it. The worst is when I’m watching something good, flip away during a commercial, and forget what I’d been watching.

  17. Steve Nance says:

    Clicking madly, on no show do I dote,
    Never pausing to think or emote
    Out of fear to commit
    To a drama or sit-
    com…and thus keep my feelings – remote.

  18. Dick says:

    Funny, clever, on prompt and both in forms. Nice work!

  19. Deb says:

    So relate-able!

  20. madkane says:

    I’m enjoying everyone’s comments and verse. Thanks so much!

  21. I cannot stand it, either. My mother used to channel surf like that — stay on one channel just long enough to get me interested, and then change it. Arg! Thank you for the limerick and the haiku. Delightful.