A Limerick Affair

Once again, it’s Limerick-Off time. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

So I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:

“I’m sorry I had an affair” …

Here’s mine:

A Limerick Affair
By Madeleine Begun Kane

“I’m sorry I had an affair,”
Said a man to his wife in despair.
“Please forgive me — I’m bad.”
She said, “Never, you cad.”
“I warned you before — I don’t share.”

Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please send me an email requesting the alerts. You’ll find my email address on the upper right sidebar, in the “Author” section just below my Limerick-Offs button. Thanks!

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24 Responses to “A Limerick Affair”

  1. Amanda Moore says:

    that is totally cute!
    A man thought his wife was a cheat
    she said “It’s only you in my sheets”
    she assured him she’s true
    he thought “what can I do?”
    even lying she makes my heart beat!

  2. Maxene says:

    “I’m sorry I had an affair”,
    But frankly I really don’t care,
    You drove me to drink,
    Like your shit didn’t stink,
    Now she can have that and your pair.

  3. I’m sorry I had an affair
    just because you weren’t there.
    When I needed to eat,
    this girl was so sweet:
    she fed me a chocolate eclair.

  4. Swisstoons says:

    The Wife’s Rationale

    I’m sorry I had an affair,
    But you just didn’t seem to care.
    Glad I got your attention;
    That was my intention.
    Ignore me again? Don’t you dare!

  5. Swisstoons says:

    I’m sorry I had an affair.
    But admit, Dear, it’s really quite rare.
    Don’t be so possessive!
    It’s not that excessive,
    Once a fortnight, my talents to share!

  6. Laurie Kolp says:

    I’m sorry I had an affair.
    I was horny and you weren’t there.
    I can see that you’re mad,
    Please don’t tell me I’m bad.
    My fingers sufficed without care!

  7. I’m sorry I had an affair
    But the chick had a wonderful pair
    She drove me delirious
    You can see it was serious
    Did I mention her firm derrière?

  8. I’m sorry I had an affair
    Not just one but a pair
    My dream to do two
    Was driving me cuckoo
    So I brought them both to my lair

  9. scott says:

    I’m sorry I had an affair,
    and for the white stuff I left everywhere.
    I drank too much rye,
    I guess that is why,
    I did that to your Teddy Bear.

  10. Patrick says:

    I’m sorry I had an affair.
    But she had the most beautiful hair.
    And brown were her eyes
    and her smile, a surprise.
    Seemed I should do more than just stare.

  11. Daisy Mae says:

    “I’m sorry I had an affair,
    Never again, Honey- Honest! I swear!”
    But he’d raped and abused her
    The jury excused her
    For’ severing contact’- down to pubic hair!

  12. madkane says:

    These limericks are great fun! Thanks and please keep them coming!

  13. Johanna Richmond says:

    I’m sorry I had an affair;
    Self-esteem was in need of repair;
    You treat me like dirt
    You pathetic sea squirt
    So get used to late night solitaire!

  14. Johanna Richmond says:

    I’m sorry I had an affair;
    Guess I’m not just a tired old mare;
    Have you given some thought
    To the fact that I’m sought
    For my qualities winning and rare?

    No of course, you have learned not a thing;
    You think marriage is simply a ring;
    Well to hell with all this,
    If indifference and bliss
    are the choices, I’ll stick with my fling!

  15. Edmund Weisberg says:

    I’m sorry I had an affair
    With two twinkies and one hairy bear.
    I’m guess I’m a slut,
    But do you know what?
    So’s my wife, so why should I care?!


    I’m sorry I had an affair,
    But it wasn’t my fault, I swear,
    For from across the room
    I was espied by the groom
    Who led us on our path from there.


    I’m sorry I had an affair,
    Wrecking my career, car, and hair.
    Well, that was my spouse,
    Who now owns the house.
    And me? Something to remember down there.


    I’m sorry I had an affair,
    For it was just tea I planned to share.
    But I saw a wink
    And before I could blink
    We had to act as we were both bare.

  16. madkane says:

    I’m really enjoying these. Thanks, and please keep them coming!

  17. scott says:

    I’m sorry I had an affair,
    with the red-headed girl over there.
    Next time I’ll know better,
    and brush off my sweater,
    or date someone with your color hair.

  18. Veralynne says:

    I’m sorry I had an affair
    That doesn’t mean I won’t go and share
    When I’m feeling the urge
    It’s a treat just to splurge
    On a young piece of candy–so there!

  19. Veralynne says:

    I’m sorry I had an affair
    I guess it was due to a scare
    A little aging will do it
    But I can say, “Screw it!”
    Cuz my young lover humps like a hare.

  20. jesse levy says:

    I came to this limerick so late that I feel it’s all been said (even though I haven’t read them all). So I can’t imagine I can come up with something new. But I’ll try:

    I’m sorry I had an affair
    I was real far away – over there!
    I was on the next street
    and then she grabbed my meat
    and gave me a terrible glare

    So I had to do it, you see
    I was afraid what she’d do to me
    Our neighbor is nuts
    and I didn’t have the guts
    to refuse (even though I had to pee).

  21. Bobby Clark says:

    I’m sorry I had an affair,
    I just wish people wouldn’t stare.
    A girl with a beard
    may seem pretty wierd.
    But she’s a step up from that old mare.

  22. Bobby Clark says:

    I”m sorry I had an affair.
    Highly unlikely as we’re both in daycare.
    She said please make it hurt
    and don’t prematurely squirt
    othewise, I’ll pull out your short hairs.

  23. Hansi says:

    I’m sorry I had an affair.
    It all stated when I began to stare.
    One thing led to another
    And soon we were under the covers.
    I’ll let your dirty mind take it from there.

  24. madkane says:

    What a wonderful selection of limericks. Thanks everyone, and please keep them coming!