{"id":159,"date":"2007-09-24T15:07:44","date_gmt":"2007-09-24T19:07:44","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/madness\/2007\/09\/24\/etiquette-advice-for-rudy-giuliani-courtesy-of-miss-madness\/"},"modified":"2007-09-24T18:40:02","modified_gmt":"2007-09-24T22:40:02","slug":"etiquette-advice-for-rudy-giuliani-courtesy-of-miss-madness","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/madness\/2007\/09\/24\/etiquette-advice-for-rudy-giuliani-courtesy-of-miss-madness\/","title":{"rendered":"Etiquette Advice For Rudy Giuliani, Courtesy Of Miss Madness"},"content":{"rendered":"

Dear Rudy,<\/p>\n

You really need to stop taking cell phone calls from your latest wife while you’re on stage giving a speech.<\/a>\u00a0It’s weird, rude and, in a post-9\/11 world, it just ain’t cool.<\/p>\n

You probably think it makes you look relaxed and confident. And you’re also hoping to burnish your image with the family values crowd, by making people think\u00a0you’re still on speaking terms with somebody in\u00a0your\u00a0family.\u00a0 (Fess up Rudy:\u00a0Who was really<\/strong> on the phone during your NRA speech?\u00a0 Your secretary?\u00a0 Wife Number —\u00a0what would the next one be —\u00a0Four?<\/p>\n

In any event, these staged on-stage calls from your \u201cwife\u201d simply have to stop.\u00a0 Aside from the weird\/rude\/uncool problem, people are starting to suspect that you\u2019re afraid not<\/strong> to take them.<\/p>\n

Sorry Rudy, but looking henpecked is\u00a0no <\/strong>way to\u00a0out-macho Hillary.<\/p>\n

Let me put it this way: Can you imagine George Dubya taking a call from Laura in the middle of a press conference or during his State of the Union Address?\u00a0 Of course not! (From Mommy Barb maybe, but that<\/strong> topic’s way above my pay grade.)<\/p>\n

Speaking of President Bush, if you’re anywhere near him, I must advise you to duck: The guy has a thing for fondling bald pates. And yes — that’s rude too.<\/p>\n

Bye\u00a0for now, Rudy.\u00a0 But if you (or your scary wife Judi) have any more etiquette questions, Miss Madness is here for you.\u00a0<\/p>\n

Sincerely,<\/p>\n

Miss Madness<\/p>\n

P.S. \u00a0I practice divorce law too.<\/p>\n

(For more Rudy cell phone rudeness humor, visit Don Davis at Satirical Political.<\/a>)\u00a0\u00a0[tags]Rudy Giuliani Rudeness,\u00a0Cell Phone Etiquette, Rudy & Judi, NRA Speech, Rudy V. Hillary, Henpecked Humor,\u00a0Presidential Campaign, Election Satire,[\/tags]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Dear Rudy, You really need to stop taking cell phone calls from your latest wife while you’re on stage giving a speech.\u00a0It’s weird, rude and, in a post-9\/11 world, it just ain’t cool. You probably think it makes you look relaxed and confident. And you’re also hoping to burnish your image with the family values […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[72,21,120,8,20,86,3,9,63],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/madness\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/159"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/madness\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/madness\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/madness\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/madness\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=159"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/madness\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/159\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/madness\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=159"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/madness\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=159"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/madness\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=159"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}