{"id":6159,"date":"2011-04-10T15:53:12","date_gmt":"2011-04-10T19:53:12","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/?p=6159"},"modified":"2011-04-10T16:01:23","modified_gmt":"2011-04-10T20:01:23","slug":"limerick-of-the-week-4","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/2011\/04\/10\/limerick-of-the-week-4\/","title":{"rendered":"Limerick of the Week (4)"},"content":{"rendered":"

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.<\/a> Choosing the winners was a big challenge because we had a record number of really good submissions. So I’m very pleased to announce the winning Limerick of the Week and five Honorable Mentions (four for single verse limericks and one for multiverse limericks.)<\/p>\n

Congratulations to Elaine Spall<\/a> who wins Limerick of the Week for this clever, amusing verse:<\/p>\n

A woman was fit to be tied.
\nCould not<\/strong> lose the weight though she tried.
\nThen she said \u201cBetter buy it,
\nThis new \u201cAlarm\u201d diet,
\nA fridge that said \u201cACCESS DENIED.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) David Lefkovits a\/k\/a Dr. Goose<\/a>, Scott Crowder, Phyllis Sterling Smith a\/k\/a Granny Smith<\/a>, Catherine Palmer and Patrice Stewart a\/k\/a Patrice of the ManyCats for their delightful limericks:<\/p>\n

David Lefkovits a\/k\/a Dr. Goose:<\/p>\n

A fellow was fit to be tied:
\n\u201cHow the food makers subtly misguide!
\nWhile the price has held steady
\nPer box of spaghetti,
\nThere\u2019s not as much noodle inside.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Scott Crowder:<\/p>\n

A fellow was fit to be tied,
\nAt his failure to be certified.
\nThe doc looked at his brain,
\nTold the judge he was sane,
\nAnd the fellow was fit to be tried.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Phyllis Sterling Smith:<\/p>\n

A fellow was fit to be tied
\nOn hearing these words from his bride:
\n“If you’re planning to hang
\nWith your old drunken gang
\nI’ve a rope I’ll be glad to provide.”<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Catherine Palmer:<\/p>\n

A man who was fit to be tied
\nWas mad at his beautiful bride.
\nShe took out a saddle.
\nThen threatened a paddle
\nif he didn’t agree to a ride!<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Patrice of the ManyCats:<\/p>\n

A fellow was fit to be tied
\nViewing pics that displayed his backside:
\nHe was naked (big deal)
\nBut bemoaned each huge meal,
\nFor he clearly was less tall than wide.<\/p>\n

But determined to locate a mate,
\nHe conversed with a promising date
\n\u2018Til she saw his webpage,
\nGuessed his height, weight, and age
\nAnd refused further contact ~ cruel Fate.<\/p>\n

Then inclined to decline dates and mope,
\nHe was tempted to give up all hope.
\nWould all women pass? Yet
\nFresh thoughts of his asset
\nProvided a way he could cope.<\/p>\n

He posted, \u201cPull Over – Wide Load!
\nSweet, snuggly, with gorgeous abode.
\nI\u2019ll rock you each night,
\nIt\u2019ll be outta sight!
\nI\u2019m a doctor.\u201d (His stethoscope showed.)<\/p>\n

He sat back as responses flowed in,
\nThen he read hers: aah, Angel of Sin.
\nShe was smart, lovely, built.
\nHis libido went Tilt!
\nNow they bare it all nightly, and grin.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions. As I said, there were so many good ones, narrowing them down to the best limericks was quite a challenge.<\/p>\n

In the next couple of minutes I\u2019ll be posting a new Limerick-Off<\/a>, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off. Choosing the winners was a big challenge because we had a record number of really good submissions. So I’m very pleased to announce the winning Limerick of the Week and five Honorable […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[62,84,1983],"tags":[2224,2047,2222,5018,2225,2046,2223,487,523],"class_list":["post-6159","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-contests","category-limerick-award-winners","category-limerick-of-the-week","tag-catherine-palmer","tag-david-lefkovits","tag-elaine-spall","tag-limerick-of-the-week","tag-patrice-stewart","tag-phyllis-sterling-smith","tag-scott-crowder","tag-writing-competitions","tag-writing-contest"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6159","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=6159"}],"version-history":[{"count":65,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6159\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":6251,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6159\/revisions\/6251"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=6159"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=6159"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=6159"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}