{"id":48383,"date":"2024-05-04T16:03:07","date_gmt":"2024-05-04T20:03:07","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/?p=48383"},"modified":"2024-05-04T20:57:30","modified_gmt":"2024-05-05T00:57:30","slug":"limerick-off-award-521","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/2024\/05\/04\/limerick-off-award-521\/","title":{"rendered":"Limerick-Off Award (521)"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick-Off winners based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in the last Limerick-Off.<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Congratulations to SUSAN SETTJE, who wins the Limerick-Off Award for this funny limerick: <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Every night when the hallway is black,
Naughty children are on the attack.
Is it army-men green?
Tiny marbles unseen?
No, tonight, I have stepped on a jack.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

Congratulations to TERRY MARTER, who wins the ANNOYANCE-Themed Limerick Award for this funny limerick:<\/p>\n\n\n\n


Annoyances?! I’ve quite a few.
For a start, there’s that leak in the loo.
I’ve a regular flow,
As small gripes come and go,
But the big one’s still here, and it’s you!<\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

Congratulations to JUSTIN OCONNOR, who wins the “Random Word Generator” Limerick Award, for a clever limerick which uses at least two of these five words: FALL, FREAKY, GLAMOROUS, LONGER, POINTLESS.
<\/p>\n\n\n\n

My brain \u2013 it no longer has space.
There are things I will need to erase.
Yes, it\u2019s time to eject
Stupid facts I collect
And let new pointless stuff take its place.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Sjaan VandenBroeder, Lisi Nortman, Terry Marter, Anthea Simick, Alice Lam<\/a>, Bindy Bitterman<\/a>, Tim James, Doug Harris, Justin OConnor, Jim Strossman, Tim Roberts, Jean McEwen, Marc Davidson, Bob Turvey, and Joan Perrin. Here their respective Honorable Mention limericks:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

HONORABLE MENTIONS (DOUBLE DUTY DIVISION: TACK\/ATTACK-RHYME LIMERICKS THAT ARE ALSO RANDOM WORD GENERATOR LIMERICKS)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sjaan VandenBroeder: <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Though I sometimes will long to talk smack,
It is pointless to try; I\u2019ve no knack.
When it\u2019s my turn to diss,
I say something like this:
\u201cTell your Mother, go sit on a tack!\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

HONORABLE MENTIONS (TACK\/ATTACK-RHYME DIVISION)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Lisi Nortman:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

My goal was to chill and sit back,
Read the paper, and then hit the sack.
But my plan was in vain
Cuz my OCD brain
Gave rise to this lim’rick attack.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

Terry Marter:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At the carpet bugs’ party-time snack,
They heard a loud almighty wack!
When they turned, they saw Fred
Was apparently dead;
Fully hammered, – now under a tack.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

Anthea Simick:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Please don’t think this a verbal attack,
But I can’t take much more of your flack.
I have bitten my tongue
At the insults you’ve flung.
Now I’m ready to give it right back.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

Alice Lam:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Today, I have gotten off track,
But it’s not motivation I lack.
My cat’s on my lap
And she’s taking a nap.
I’m not lazy, just under attack.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

Sjaan VandenBroeder:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Expecting a frontal attack,
One poor victim when strapped to the rack,
Face down, as it were,
Had no time to demur;
Some have said he was taken aback.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

Bindy Bitterman:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Oy, that siren! An air raid attack?
A tornado glimpsed twenty miles back?
Nah, just Mary\u2019s two kids
Doing what she forbids\u2014
It goes off when they sneak in to snack!<\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

Tim James:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

He\u2019s a Trumper, so cut him some slack.
He knows nothing but how to talk smack.
Since I don\u2019t wish to carp,
I\u2019ll say only: He\u2019s sharp.
(Like a bowling ball, not like a tack.)<\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

Doug Harris:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

My dentist said; \u201cSon, all this plaque
Is something you need to attack.
Start gargling and flossing
And maybe less tossing
Of sweets down your neck for a snack?\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

Tim James: <\/p>\n\n\n\n

He flexed, and looked forward and back
As he silently planned his attack.
Then he struck, and his prey
Lay in shreds, cold and gray.
Catnip toys cause more mayhem than crack.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

HONORABLE MENTIONS (ANNOYANCE-THEMED LIMERICK DIVISION) <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tim James:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She\u2019s a tenant, about to receive
Legal notice demanding she leave
If she doesn\u2019t get rid
Of her dogs, cats, and kid.*<\/strong>
You could call it her landlord\u2019s pet peeve.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n