<\/p>
<\/p>
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It’s time to announce the latest Limerick-Off winners based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in the last Limerick-Off.<\/a> <\/span>Congratulations to MARK TOTTERDELL<\/a> who wins the Limerick-Off Award for this funny limerick: <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n The mole has its hole to patrol, <\/p> <\/p> <\/p> <\/p> Congratulations to TERRY MARTER, who wins the PERKS-Themed Limerick Award for this funny limerick:<\/p>\n\n\n\n My boss, her demeanor well ired, <\/p> <\/p> <\/p> Congratulations to SJAAN VANDENBROEDER, who wins the “Random Word Generator” Limerick Award, for a clever limerick which uses at least two of these five words: CLUMSY, CONDEMNED, ODDS, SHAKE, WAVES.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I\u2019m so klutzy and clumsy, folks fear me \u2014 <\/p>\n\n\n\n <\/p> <\/p> <\/p> And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) P<\/span>aul Haebig, Sjaan VandenBroeder, P Diane Schneider, J.OConnor, Lisi Nortman Ardissone, Joan Perrin, <\/span>Phil Woodford<\/a>, Tim James, Bob Turvey, <\/span>Terry Marter, and <\/span>Jean McEwen. <\/span>Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:<\/span> <\/span><\/p> HONORABLE MENTIONS (GOAL\/GOALS-RHYME DIVISION) <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n Sjaan VandenBroeder:<\/p>\n\n\n\n This morning I made it my goal Paul Haebig:<\/p>\n\n\n\n To see all fifty states was my goal! Sjaan VandenBroeder:<\/p>\n\n\n\n I buy donuts, but always my goal\u2019s <\/p>\n\n\n\n P Diane Schneider: <\/p>\n\n\n\n I\u2019m cold and have run out of coal, Lisi Nortman says: <\/p>\n\n\n\n It’s time I took care of my goal: Joan Perrin:<\/p>\n\n\n\n The perfect, penned lim\u2019rick\u2019s my goal. <\/p>\n\n\n\n <\/p>\n\n\n\n <\/p>\n\n\n\n Phil Woodford:<\/p>\n\n\n\n Up in Lapland, quite near the North Pole <\/p>\n\n\n\n <\/p>\n\n\n\n Sjaan VandenBroeder: <\/p>\n\n\n\n Dumb mistakes and misspellings prevail, <\/p> <\/p> <\/p> <\/p> HONORABLE MENTIONS (PERKS-THEMED LIMERICK DIVISION) <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n Tim James:<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cFriends with benefits\u201d isn\u2019t a thing Paul Haebig:<\/p>\n\n\n\n Work-from-home would drive some folks berserk. Bob Turvey:<\/p>\n\n\n\n I know a young fellow who works Terry Marter:<\/p>\n\n\n\n She was somewhat allergic to work, Jean McEwen:<\/p>\n\n\n\n At our school, all the menfolk are jerks. A perky young woman named Jo <\/p>\n\n\n\n J.OConnor:<\/p>\n\n\n\n I take showers when I need to think. <\/p> <\/p> <\/p> <\/p> HONORABLE MENTIONS (RANDOM WORD GENERATOR LIMERICK DIVISION)<\/p>Terry Marter:\n\n\n\n You’re taking a pee on the ground, Sjaan VandenBroeder:<\/p>\n\n\n\n Ev\u2019ry time that my hair cutter raves, <\/p>\n\n\n\n Tim James:<\/p>\n\n\n\n A jerk has a girlfriend named Inger. <\/p> Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions. <\/span>In the next couple of minutes I\u2019ll be posting a new Limerick-Off,<\/a> which gives you yet another opportunity to win the Limerick-Off Award. <\/span>To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter<\/a>. Thanks! <\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" It’s time to announce the latest Limerick-Off winners based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in the last Limerick-Off. Congratulations to MARK TOTTERDELL who wins the Limerick-Off Award for this funny limerick: The mole has its hole to patrol,Where its sole and its ultimate goalIs to terminate squirmsIn the verminous wormsAnd to jollily […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[62,84,1192,1983,65],"tags":[5401,6644,5106,6815,5009,5018,4526,5463,4061,5399,6787,5343,5407,3167,487,523],"class_list":["post-48028","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-contests","category-limerick-award-winners","category-limerick-contest","category-limerick-of-the-week","category-limerick-writing-contest","tag-bob-turvey","tag-j-oconnor","tag-jean-mcewen","tag-joan-perrin","tag-limerick-contest","tag-limerick-of-the-week","tag-lisi-nortman","tag-mark-totterdell","tag-p-diane-schneider","tag-paul-haebig","tag-phil-woodford","tag-sjaan-vandenbroeder","tag-terry-marter","tag-tim-james","tag-writing-competitions","tag-writing-contest"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/48028","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=48028"}],"version-history":[{"count":30,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/48028\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":48061,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/48028\/revisions\/48061"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=48028"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=48028"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=48028"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
Where its sole and its ultimate goal
Is to terminate squirms
In the verminous worms
And to jollily swallow them whole.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n
Said “It’s your fault this project’s so mired.
It’s been stuck back in time;
You’ve done naught but this rhyme.
Your perk this year? Not being fired!”<\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n
Objects often go flying, when near me.
Sure, I\u2019ve friends who are brave,
Who\u2019ll do more than just wave,
But there\u2019s no one who\u2019ll ever say, \u201cBeer me.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n
To dig up some \u201cdirt\u201d on the mole.
Upon study, I found
That a mole leaves a mound.
It\u2019s an empty pursuit, on the whole.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n
And so, to get ready to roll
I bought E-ZPass.
But I found out, alas,
That using it sure takes a toll!<\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n
To keep track of good diet controls.
Once, I said to the gal,
\u201cI need something low-cal,\u201d
So she sold me a bag full of holes.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n
So getting me warm was the goal.
I ran off with bags,
But tripped on my rags.
They caught me with coal that I stole.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n
Getting rid of this unsightly mole.
When folks stare, I feel stress,
But I have to confess:
Mr. Maulwurf’s a huggable soul.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n
I strive for a gem. I get coal.
I yearn, but in vain,
To win in Mad Kane.
For then, I\u2019d be one happy soul.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n
Lives a man with a singular goal:
He has to remember
To wake in December,
But for now he\u2019s asleep, bless his soul.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n
When Trump uses his platform for mail.
Once, he asked fans to dole
Out big bucks toward his GOAL,
But unwittingly typed it as GAOL.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n
You should say when describing a fling.
You\u2019ll come off as a creep
And the gal will feel cheap.
\u201cPals with perks\u201d doesn\u2019t have the same sting.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n
But for me, it’s an excellent perk.
Still, I’m not one to gloat.
I like working remote,
But homing from home’s too much work!<\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n
In a coffee shop run by some Turks.
He is a barista
Who cannot resist a
Free coffee. It\u2019s one of his perks.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n
But was given a car as a perk.
Jealous workmates would scoff,
\u201cHowd\u2019ya pull that one off?\u201d
\u201cI jerked off the boss for a Merc.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n
They all act as if one of the perks
Of their gender allows
Them to treat us like cows
And to meet our objections with smirks.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n
Tim James, for his “A Curmudgeon\u2019s Confession.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Would spread laughter wherever she\u2019d go.
She was bubbly and bright
And an utter delight.
That\u2019s the reason I hated her so.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n
Wakes me up. Makes me feel in the pink.
I can figure things out
When I\u2019m under that spout.
Added perk: It gets rid of the stink!<\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n
Behind a wee bush that you’ve found,
When a bus full of wavers
Pulls up, and then savors
The odds you thought “no one’s around.”<\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n
About \u201cproduct,\u201d my confidence caves.
In a shaky voice, I
Reply, \u201cGive it a try.\u201d
If I don\u2019t, then she\u2019s sure to make waves.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n
The odds are, with him she won\u2019t linger.
He called her a cow!
Look, there she goes now:
She\u2019s waving goodbye with one finger.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n