{"id":47824,"date":"2023-11-11T17:20:12","date_gmt":"2023-11-11T21:20:12","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/?p=47824"},"modified":"2023-11-11T17:35:52","modified_gmt":"2023-11-11T21:35:52","slug":"limerick-off-award-515","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/2023\/11\/11\/limerick-off-award-515\/","title":{"rendered":"Limerick-Off Award (515)"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick-Off winners based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in the last Limerick-Off.<\/a> <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Congratulations to RUDY LANDESMAN, who wins the Limerick-Off Award for this funny limerick:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Had a dream. What it meant, I don\u2019t know.
A raven or maybe a crow
Flew into my room
And announced gloom and doom.
Gotta stop reading Edgar A. Poe.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

Congratulations to SJAAN VANDENBROEDER, who wins the Special LIST-Themed Limerick Award for this funny limerick:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI feel languid again \u2014 what a chore,\u201d
Laments Lackluster, starting to snore.
His wife, quite the shrew,
Makes a lengthy to-do,
And now Lackluster\u2019s listless no more.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

Congratulations to TIM JAMES, who wins the “Random Word Generator” Limerick Award, for a clever limerick which uses at least two of these five words: ADVICE, CHECK, NOTES, SLIDER, SNOBBISH.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At the hamburger joint I espied her,
Twelve boxes of sliders beside her.
Take note of the fact
That because of this act
Her bankroll\u2019s now thinner; she\u2019s wider.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Terry Marter, Tim James, Bob Turvey, George Larson, Sjaan VandenBroeder, Mark Totterdell<\/a>, Jean McEwen, Marieta McGrath, J.OConnor, Doug Harris, Lisi Nortman, and Janice Canerdy<\/a>. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

HONORABLE MENTIONS (CROW-RHYME DIVISION)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Terry Marter:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

He tattooed her fine breast; his price low.
After which, to her friends she would crow
About her good deal,
Where she’d offered a feel:
It was all Tit for Tat; quid pro quo.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

Tim James:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thirteen ravens, five jays, and a crow
Caused great terror wherever they\u2019d go;
And they still induce fear
In the people they\u2019re near.
They\u2019re the CORVID 19, as you know.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

Bob Turvey:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Here\u2019s a tale that concerns a young peasant;
When he stroked his cock he found it pleasant.
Quite stiff it would grow
And then start to crow \u2013
He can\u2019t wait now to stroke his wife\u2019s pheasant.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

George Larson:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

His hot-rod was mostly for show;
He bragged to his friends it would go
Like a bat out of hell,
But it didn\u2019t go well.
At the end, the guy had to eat crow.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

Sjaan VandenBroeder:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When some hawks hear the squawks from below,
The caws cause them to sway to-and-fro.
Their most favorite prey,
Isn\u2019t Corvid, per se,
But they love to sing, \u201cI Gotta Crow!\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

Mark Totterdell:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Those ugly old crow\u2019s feet that show
Round my eyes are the way that I know
That my youth is behind,
But I just wouldn\u2019t mind
If they weren\u2019t still attached to the crow.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

HONORABLE MENTIONS (LIST-THEMED LIMERICK DIVISION) <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tim James:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

My stupidity can\u2019t be denied
\u2019Cause I laughed really hard, till I cried
When my gal split her pants
While attempting to dance.
On her shit list is where I reside.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

Jean E McEwen:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I\u2019ve got too many Things to Do lists.
I just can\u2019t keep them straight; each exists
On its own scrap of paper.
It\u2019s too hard a caper
To merge them; thus, chaos persists.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

Terry Marter:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

On a long windy sailing-boat ride
I was so sick and bored that I cried.
So I wrote a long list
Of life’s “pleasures” not missed
With “A boat with a list to one side.”<\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

Tim James:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Santa\u2019s finished with making his list.
He just checked it, and boy, is he pissed.
Naughty kids are online,
Where they\u2019re bullies and swine.
How he wishes they\u2019d cease and desist!<\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Marieta McGrath:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I jotted down three things to do.
The first was to buy superglue.
The rest became moot
As I shouted out “Shoot!
I had glued both my hands to my shoe!”<\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

George Larson:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The birder makes lists as he goes
Of all of the species he knows.
But sadly, today
They were all chased away
By a murder of ornery crows.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

Terry Marter:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Listen up, lest you don’t get my gist:
You’re as drunk as a skunk; Brahms and Liszt.
You’ve mumbled and stammered
Which shows that you’re hammered\u2026
And a long list of terms that mean pissed.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

Bob Turvey:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A lawyer once said to Miss May,
\u201cI will list all your assets today.
Do you have property?\u201d
She answered, \u201cI\u2019ve three;
There\u2019s China, Ceylon and Earl Grey.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

J.OConnor:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Pharma ads all have jingles these days.
For drug sales it\u2019s one of the ways
To get you to think
That their drug doesn\u2019t stink
As the list of each side effect plays.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

Doug Harris:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In Pisa the Bishop is pissed;
At the Foreman he\u2019s shaking his fist.
He\u2019s displaying unease
At about four degrees \u2013
The builder\u2019s not finished his list \u2026<\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

HONORABLE MENTIONS (RANDOM WORD GENERATOR LIMERICK DIVISION: ADVICE, CHECK, NOTES, SLIDER, SNOBBISH)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sjaan VandenBroeder:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Hyde consulted a shrink for advice,
(who took notes and seemed very precise.)
He said, \u201cDoc, this is it:
My poor psyche is split,
So make sure that you\u2019re writing this twice.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

Lisi Nortman, for her “Teaching The Wife About Baseball”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“Take notes, dear, to practice a slider.”
(I gave her a ball, just to guide \u2019er.)
“Now, it’s all in the grip.
Place your hand on the tip.”
(An approach that might get me inside \u2019er.)<\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

Jean McEwen:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let me give you a piece of advice:
Before you mock others, think twice.
Hold your tongue; check yourself.
Leave that taunt on a shelf.
Think whatever you like – but play nice.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

Lisi Nortman, for her \u201cAnnoying Rebecca\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Here\u2019s advice: don\u2019t go shopping with Beck.
You\u2019ll come home and complain, \u201cI\u2019m a wreck.\u201d
She went shopping with me
At the Town Dollar Tree,
And for one gum drop, Beck paid by check.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

Sjaan VandenBroeder:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When I offered a crumb to a spider,
(Please take note I sought not to deride her),
\u201cSuper-size it!\u201d she snapped,
So at once I unwrapped
The whole sandwich and slipped her my slider.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

Janice Canerdy:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I\u2019m not snobbish, just misunderstood.
You don\u2019t kowtow to me as you should.
If you\u2019d seek my advice\u2014
Only mine will suffice\u2013
You\u2019d be MORE like me, just not as good.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the next couple of minutes I\u2019ll be posting a new Limerick-Off,<\/a> which gives you yet another opportunity to win the Limerick-Off Award.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter<\/a>. Thanks!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick-Off winners based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in the last Limerick-Off. Congratulations to RUDY LANDESMAN, who wins the Limerick-Off Award for this funny limerick: Had a dream. What it meant, I don\u2019t know.A raven or maybe a crowFlew into my roomAnd announced gloom and doom.Gotta […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[62,104,84,3270,1192,1983,65,42],"tags":[5401,3362,6733,6644,4514,5106,5009,5018,4526,6754,5463,5446,5343,5407,3167,487,523],"class_list":["post-47824","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-contests","category-limerick-haiku-seeds","category-limerick-award-winners","category-limerick-competition","category-limerick-contest","category-limerick-of-the-week","category-limerick-writing-contest","category-limericks","tag-bob-turvey","tag-doug-harris","tag-george-larson","tag-j-oconnor","tag-janice-canerdy","tag-jean-mcewen","tag-limerick-contest","tag-limerick-of-the-week","tag-lisi-nortman","tag-marieta-mcgrath","tag-mark-totterdell","tag-rudy-landesman","tag-sjaan-vandenbroeder","tag-terry-marter","tag-tim-james","tag-writing-competitions","tag-writing-contest"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/47824","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=47824"}],"version-history":[{"count":29,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/47824\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":47876,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/47824\/revisions\/47876"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=47824"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=47824"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=47824"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}