{"id":47676,"date":"2023-09-16T16:05:07","date_gmt":"2023-09-16T20:05:07","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/?p=47676"},"modified":"2023-09-16T16:34:08","modified_gmt":"2023-09-16T20:34:08","slug":"limerick-off-award-513","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/2023\/09\/16\/limerick-off-award-513\/","title":{"rendered":"Limerick-Off Award (513)"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick-Off winners based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in the last Limerick-Off.<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Congratulations to SJAAN VANDENBROEDER, who wins the Limerick-Off Award for this funny limerick:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

One political faction \u2013a horde \u2014
Abandoned the pen for the sword.
But its plan was derailed,
And the splinter group failed,
Because no one would sit on the board.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Congratulations to TERRY MARTER, who wins the PITCH-Themed Limerick Award for this funny limerick:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The underdogs pick up the slack.
Neck and neck in the ninth; they\u2019ve come back!
Last play for the cup;
The pitcher winds up,
Then the power goes out, \u2013 it\u2019s pitch black.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

Congratulations to SJAAN VANDENBROEDER, who wins the “Random Word Generator” Limerick Award, for a clever limerick which uses at least two of these five words: SINK, REFUSE, DAWN, ALARMING, CROWD.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Groused Aurora, \u201cThe moon sinks anon.\u201d
(But she knew that the show must go on).
\u201cIn so many words,
My job\u2019s for the birds!\u201d
There you have it \u2014 the first crack of Dawn.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Congratulations to TIM JAMES, who wins a special Limerick Saga Award for his clever Indictment Saga: <\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Through the years I\u2019d become very jaded.
Would Trump face the music? I waited.
I\u2019d gotten quite bored.
Alvin Bragg then restored
A small measure of justice, belated.<\/p>

The pitch of Trump\u2019s whining got higher
As Jack Smith held his feet to the fire.
Stolen docs were the crux.
If you ask me, it sucks
They were left in the loo of a liar.<\/p>

More charges were crowding the field
Because Smith was refusing to yield.
He proceeded to fix
The main blame for 1\/6
As Trump\u2019s sanity tottered and reeled.<\/p>

A new day is beginning to dawn;
It\u2019s alarming to think what went on.
Fani Willis may sink
All these mobsters, I think.
Like the shreds of Trump\u2019s mind, they\u2019ll be gone.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Paul Haebig, Brian Allgar,<\/a> Robert Schechter,<\/a> Janice Canerdy, Jean McEwen, Lisi Nortman, Rudy Landesman, Justin OConnor, Sharon Neeman, Terry Marter, Sjaan VandenBroeder, and Tim James. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

HONORABLE MENTIONS (BOARD or BORED-RHYME <\/strong>DIVISION)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Paul Haebig:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Long after our water was poured
The waiter appeared, looking bored.
\u201cI can tell by your suit
The specials are moot;
There\u2019s nothing that you could afford.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

Brian Allgar: <\/p>\n\n\n\n

They thought the much-feared water-board
Would unlock all the codes that were stored
In the Russian spy\u2019s head,
But he told them instead:
\u201cMost refreshing, that water you poured.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Robert Schechter:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I’ve been Fermied and Einsteined and floored
By Dirac, and I’ve simply adored
Being Newtoned and Plancked.
All these men should be thanked.
But you asked about Niels? I was Bohred.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

Janice Canerdy: <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I was feeling neglected and bored.
Hubby kissed me. My low spirits soared.
I cooed, \u201cLet\u2019s go to bed.\u201d
When he said, \u201cWell, instead,
Would you fix me some lunch?\u201d I was floored.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

Lisi Nortman:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Her grounds for divorce struck a chord:
I asked, \u201cHow may I help you, Ms. Ford?\u201d
Without shedding a tear,
Her answer was clear:
\u201cFor 55 years, I\u2019ve been bored.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

Rudy Landesman:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At an opera he truly adored,
He never, no never, got bored.
In his own private box,
He pulled up his socks;
And in tune to the music he snored.<\/p>

<\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

Brian Allgar: <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Whenever the actor was bored,
He would dress as the Queen, and a horde
Of his friends came to tea,
Served with great majesty;
He never could reign, but he poured.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Rudy Landesman:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Humphrey Bogart and Lauren Bacall
Made movies, and those were a ball.
Their films never bored.
Were they sexy? Oh, Lord!!
No need for their baring it all.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

HONORABLE MENTIONS (PITCH-THEMED<\/strong> LIMERICK DIVISION)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

J.OConnor, for his Acrostic Pitch Limerick:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>repare for a pitch that is great.
I<\/strong>t might curve. It might sink or be straight.
T<\/strong>he advice you should heed
C<\/strong>an be simple indeed.
H<\/strong>it the ball if it\u2019s over the plate!<\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Lisi Nortman: <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Many sports lovers witnessed a pitch
With a very discomforting hitch:
The ball flew in the air
Unmistakably where
The batter would normally itch.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

Sharon Neeman: <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I’ve been given a Newf pup named Mitch.
When he runs, the whole house seems to pitch;
He barks and he drools
And he pees on my rules\u2026
But (sigh) he’s so easy to scritch!<\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

Terry Marter: <\/p>\n\n\n\n

All I’m getting today from my muse,
Is a vacuous silence; no clues.
Each clever new pitch
I attempt, has a glitch
She could fix, put prefers to refuse.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sjaan VandenBroeder:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A young rookie developed a glitch:
He\u2019d swear (under his breath) when he\u2019d pitch.
His old manager though,
Said, \u201cYour pitch is too low.\u201d
So he learned to yell, \u201cSon of a bitch!\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

Tim James, for his Imperfect Pitch:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A pianist who wasn\u2019t too deft
Checked the key for a piece (to the left),
Saw one flat, and thought, \u201cGee!
This whole thing is in C!\u201d
The result: his performance was F\u2019ed.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

J.OConnor:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

He found a new spot, so he switched
From the place where his tent had been pitched.
The new spot he chose
Was where poison oak grows,
So he scratched all night long where it itched.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

Terry Marter: <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Whenever she tries to sing higher,
The sound she emits is quite dire.
She’s no Di’na Ross,
But she’s loved by her boss
Cuz she’s got the best tits in his choir.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

HONORABLE MENTIONS (RANDOM WORD GENERATOR<\/strong> LIMERICK DIVISION)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sjaan VandenBroeder<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A naked street artist named Dowd,
To an onlooker frankly avowed,
\u201cI would never refuse,
To sketch YOU, if you choose,
But I\u2019m happiest drawing a crowd.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

J.OConnor:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I know a nice fellow from Maine.
Who refuses to ever complain.
But a clog in his sink
Has him close to the brink,
\u2019Cause his arm is still stuck in that drain!<\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

Sharon Neeman:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Food pois’ning’s alarming, I think:
It makes an incredible stink!
Bad enough all that poo,
But the puke and the spew\u2026
Come dawn, I must Drano my sink.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

Lisi Nortman:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I awakened at dawn and I vowed
“No more lim’ricks!” (I screamed it out loud.)
Well, that lasted ONE day,
Cuz I can’t stay away–
Too far from the MADdening crowd.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

Jean McEwen:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Overwhelmed by the mess in my sink
(Dirty dishes, beginning to stink)–
Then, a sudden caprice:
Dawn can handle that grease!
P&G draws me back from the brink.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

Lisi Nortman: <\/p>\n\n\n\n


I sank low, and I’d do it again;
I bent over backwards for Ken.
You might think it alarming,
But Ken is so charming,
That I helped him escape from the pen.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

Tim James:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Said a guy who was amply endowed:
\u201cSure, this makes me stand out from the crowd.
Though some gals have refused \u2014
They\u2019re alarmed they\u2019ll be bruised \u2014
For the most part, the ladies are wowed.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

Rudy Landesman:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I refuse to get up before dawn.
I\u2019d rather be quartered and drawn.
But don\u2019t worry, my friends.
Before this day ends
I\u2019ll be up and I\u2019ll see you anon.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the next couple of minutes I\u2019ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win the Limerick-Off Award.<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter<\/a>. Thanks!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick-Off winners based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in the last Limerick-Off. Congratulations to SJAAN VANDENBROEDER, who wins the Limerick-Off Award for this funny limerick: One political faction \u2013a horde \u2014Abandoned the pen for the sword.But its plan was derailed,And the splinter group failed,Because no one […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[62,84,3270,1192,3060,1983,65,42,64],"tags":[4003,6644,4514,5106,5009,5018,4526,5399,2537,5446,5052,5343,5407,3167,487,523],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/47676"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=47676"}],"version-history":[{"count":19,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/47676\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":47697,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/47676\/revisions\/47697"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=47676"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=47676"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=47676"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}