{"id":47602,"date":"2023-08-19T16:00:19","date_gmt":"2023-08-19T20:00:19","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/?p=47602"},"modified":"2023-08-19T16:12:07","modified_gmt":"2023-08-19T20:12:07","slug":"limerick-off-award-512","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/2023\/08\/19\/limerick-off-award-512\/","title":{"rendered":"Limerick-Off Award (512)"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick-Off winners based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in the last Limerick-Off.<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Congratulations to J.OCONNOR, who wins the Limerick-Off Award for this funny limerick:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She swung on a swing and was swayed
By the sound of a song in the shade.
The song that was sung
By the swing that was swung
Was a sweet swinging soft serenade.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

Congratulations to TIM JAMES, who wins the Special TEST-Themed Limerick Award for this funny limerick:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Barbie\u2019s got a particular yen,
But her man flunked that test once again.
He said, \u201cSorry to fail ya;
I\u2019ve no genitalia!\u201d
So sex remains outside her ken.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

Congratulations to SJAAN VANDENBROEDER, who wins the “Random Word Generator” Limerick Award, for a clever limerick which uses at least two of these five words: DUCK, GIFTED, JITTERY, MERGE, STAR.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There once was a plumber named Jack,
Whose pet duck, you might say, had his back.
When on jobs Jack would bend,
And display his rear end,
The fowl, gifted with hindsight, warned, \u201cQuack!\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Brian Allgar,<\/a> Robert Schechter,<\/a> Terry Marter, Tim James, Sjaan VandenBroeder, Jean McEwen, Gail White, Bob Turvey, Lisi Nortman, Dave Johnson, Janice Canerdy, and J.OConnor. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

HONORABLE MENTIONS (TRIPLE DUTY DIVISION: SUEDE, SWAYED, PERSUADE, or DISSUADE-RHYME<\/strong> LIMERICKS THAT ARE ALSO TEST-THEMED<\/strong> LIMERICKS and RANDOM WORD GENERATOR<\/strong> LIMERICKS)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Brian Allgar:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Though they told us full tests had been made,
We felt jittery as the thing swayed,
And we ducked, one and all,
When we thought it would fall \u2026
But the Tower of Pisa has stayed.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

HONORABLE MENTIONS (SUEDE, SWAYED, PERSUADE, or DISSUADE-RHYME<\/strong> DIVISION)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Robert Schechter:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When my lottery winnings were paid,
I figured, it’s time to upgrade!
So now I unload
On a golden commode,
Then wipe with a roll of fine suede.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

Terry Marter:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I told mum he’d proposed, in my text.
Her reply, left me somewhat perplexed:
I’d remarked “I’ll be swayed,”
But my typo read “spayed.”
She wrote “PLEASE have kids, – DON’T get de-sexed.”<\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

Tim James:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Said a friend of Van Gogh\u2019s: \u201cIt\u2019s now clear
Vincent\u2019s case of depression\u2019s severe.
He\u2019s not easily swayed
By mere words, I\u2019m afraid.
Should you see him, just lend him an ear.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

Sjaan VandenBroeder: <\/p>\n\n\n\n

A pastor who had no desire,
To threaten of brimstone and fire,
Said, \u201cI\u2019d rather persuade,
With a nice serenade.\u201d
He was preaching, no doubt, to the choir.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

Jean McEwen:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Can\u2019t his acolytes see the charade?
Against Trump I have often inveighed.
Yet, I\u2019ve yet to dissuade
Any MAGA folks; they\u2019d
Sooner die than admit they\u2019ve been played.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

Terry Marter:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She dressed in the finest kid suede
In her quest to get lucky (that\u2019s laid.)
In an area shaded,
She soon was dis-suede-ed
By a randy old goat in the glade. <\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

Gail White:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The Fates can be hard to persuade,
When I\u2019m hoping my fortune is made.
For I never quite seem
To accomplish my dream
To get rich, or get high, or get laid.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

Sjaan VandenBroeder:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Said a tough-skinned and shrewd dairymaid,
To a callow young calf who had strayed,
\u201cKeep your nose in the grass,
And cover your ass,
Or your gonna end up being swayed.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

HONORABLE MENTIONS (TEST-THEMED<\/strong> LIMERICK DIVISION)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bob Turvey:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Herbal cooking is now all the rage
So the wife studied herbs for an age.
If you ask, as a test,
\u201cFor this meal, which is best?\u201d
Her answer will always be sage.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

Brian Allgar:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The Producer said: \u201cFor your screen test,
You must first get completely undressed,
Then demurely recline
On this casting-couch. Fine!
Just relax, and let me do the rest.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

Lisi Nortman:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHello Mr. Tense. I\u2019m Joe Shrink.
This test will reveal what you think.\u201d
\u201cDoc, it looks like some klutz
Flipped out and went nuts,
Then knocked over a bottle of ink.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

Tim James:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s exam time. Such anguish and woe!
I\u2019ve not studied. I\u2019m naked! Oh no!
Plus I can\u2019t move or scream!
Wait\u2026it\u2019s only a dream.
What the hell? School was DECADES ago!<\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

Bob Turvey:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Cried a lady, \u201cMy god what a whopper!
In use it should prove a show stopper!\u201d
But when put to the test
It was lacking in zest
And it turned out to be a real flopper.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

Dave Johnson:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

His numbers are up as of late;
So Trump thinks indictments are great.
That notion, at best,
Would be put to the test
If \u201cGuilty!\u201d determines his fate.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

Janice Canerdy, for her “A Student\u2019s Rant:”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Them ole teechers is always such pests
With there homework and long, stoopid tests.
We already spells good,
And we talks like we should.
Their to mean to be pleezed with our bests!<\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

J.OConnor: <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Hermann Rorschach was not a great guest.
In fact, he was rather a pest.
He\u2019d spill ink everywhere.
Stain your rugs and your chair.
Then tell you \u201cIt\u2019s only a test.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

HONORABLE MENTIONS (RANDOM WORD GENERATOR LIMERICK<\/strong> DIVISION)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Terry Marter:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

My friend was born gifted,- a star,
But I jitter when we’re in his car.
We came close to a merge
With a duck on a verge,
Now we’re three, on the verge, – in a bar.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

Lisi Nortman:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When young, I could climb a big boulder.
I was gifted, but now I’m MUCH older.
The last time I merged,
I screamed and then purged,
And made a quick right to the shoulder.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

Jean McEwen:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even though I appear to be brave,
I feel jittery inside this cave.
Should my head fail to duck
I could forthwith get stuck.
Such an outcome would surely be grave.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

Brian Allgar:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The film star was down on his luck;
He was not very gifted, the schmuck,
And he quacked when he spoke.
But they said: \u201cJust the bloke!
He\u2019ll be perfect to play Donald Duck!\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

Sjaan VandenBroeder: <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Nervous Nellie in worry is stuck.
What is bound to befall her? Bad luck.
If she spies from afar
A divine shooting star,
She\u2019ll jump out of her skin and yell, \u201cDuck!\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

Tim James:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A gifted young duck named McGee
Yearned to star in a show on TV.
But the nod went instead
To a horse, Mister Ed.
Show biz ain\u2019t all it\u2019s quacked up to be.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

Dave Johnson:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The guys were quite nervous and jittery;
That Las Vegas club was so glittery.
Uneasiness surged
Till the showgirls emerged;
It seems they could handle the tittery.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the next couple of minutes I\u2019ll be posting a new Limerick-Off<\/a>, which gives you yet another opportunity to win the Limerick-Off Award.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter<\/a>. Thanks!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick-Off winners based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in the last Limerick-Off. Congratulations to J.OCONNOR, who wins the Limerick-Off Award for this funny limerick: She swung on a swing and was swayedBy the sound of a song in the shade.The song that was sungBy the swing […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[62,84,3270,1192,1983,65,42],"tags":[5401,4003,4465,5462,6644,4514,5106,5009,5018,4526,2537,5343,5407,3167,487,523],"class_list":["post-47602","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-contests","category-limerick-award-winners","category-limerick-competition","category-limerick-contest","category-limerick-of-the-week","category-limerick-writing-contest","category-limericks","tag-bob-turvey","tag-brian-allgar","tag-dave-johnson","tag-gail-white","tag-j-oconnor","tag-janice-canerdy","tag-jean-mcewen","tag-limerick-contest","tag-limerick-of-the-week","tag-lisi-nortman","tag-robert-schechter","tag-sjaan-vandenbroeder","tag-terry-marter","tag-tim-james","tag-writing-competitions","tag-writing-contest"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/47602","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=47602"}],"version-history":[{"count":23,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/47602\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":47632,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/47602\/revisions\/47632"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=47602"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=47602"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=47602"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}