{"id":46359,"date":"2022-10-15T16:37:04","date_gmt":"2022-10-15T20:37:04","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/?p=46359"},"modified":"2022-10-15T17:19:23","modified_gmt":"2022-10-15T21:19:23","slug":"limerick-off-award-501","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/2022\/10\/15\/limerick-off-award-501\/","title":{"rendered":"Limerick-Off Award (501)"},"content":{"rendered":"

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick-Off winners based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in the last Limerick-Off.<\/a><\/p>\n

Congratulations to SJAAN VANDENBROEDER, who wins the Limerick-Off Award for this funny limerick:<\/p>\n

Should Trump chance on a thought, then he\u2019ll share it;
\nHe loves nothing so much as to air it.
\nHe\u2019ll give to mankind
\nA piece of his mind,
\nEven though we all know he can\u2019t spare it.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Congratulations to TIM JAMES, who wins the Special BANK-Themed Limerick Award for this funny limerick:<\/p>\n

At the bank, works a woman named Heller;
\nThe job that she does isn\u2019t stellar.
\nHer cash counts are wrong,
\nAnd her lines slow and long.
\nIs there nobody there who will tell \u2019er?<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Congratulations to SJAAN VANDENBROEDER, who wins the “Random Word Generator” Limerick Award, for a clever limerick which uses at least two of these five words: YAWN, CLAIM, SPORTS, LAZY, FEARLESS.<\/p>\n

An old rancorous widow named Maisie,
\nLiked to claim her late husband was lazy.
\nWhen she\u2019d visit his plot,
\nShe\u2019d say, \u201cJust as I thought \u2014
\nNow he won\u2019t even push up a daisy.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Brian Allgar,<\/a> Tim James, Lisi Nortman Ardissone, Sjaan VandenBroeder, Terry Marter, Dave Johnson, Trevor Alexander, Mark Totterdell,<\/a> Rudy Landesman, Roger Haugen, Jean McEwen, Sue Dulley, Steve Benko,<\/a> and Elizabeth M. Baker. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:<\/p>\n

HONORABLE MENTIONS (TRIPLE DUTY DIVISION: MIND or MINED or REMIND-RHYME LIMERICKS THAT ARE ALSO BANK-THEMED LIMERICKS and RANDOM WORD GENERATOR LIMERICKS)<\/p>\n

Brian Allgar:<\/p>\n

The bank-teller claimed, with a yawn,
\n\u201cI\u2019ve been working all night until dawn.
\nCounting bank-notes, I find,
\nBores me out of my mind \u2013
\nI would rather count grass on the lawn.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

HONORABLE MENTIONS (MIND or MINED or REMIND-RHYME DIVISION)<\/p>\n

Tim James:<\/p>\n

\u201cI must have been out of my mind,\u201d
\nSaid the stripper, \u201cto get in this bind.
\nI\u2019m knocked up by a slob
\nAnd it\u2019s cost me my job.
\nSo now I\u2019ve a bump \u2014 with no grind.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Lisi Nortman:<\/p>\n

I wrote a bad verse, using \u201cmined.\u201d
\nThis mistake shows my mind has declined.
\nI rhymed low with hello.
\nThat\u2019s a mega \u201cno-no,\u201d
\nSo to “Lim\u2019rick Jail” I\u2019ve been assigned.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Sjaan VandenBroeder: <\/p>\n

When my brain\u2019s in a dither, I find
\nA quick means to achieve peace of mind:
\nI take all the TP
\nOff the roll just to see
\nThat there\u2019s always some way to unwind.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Terry Marter:<\/p>\n

Since you saw me last year, am I fatter?
\nI have tried using mind over matter.
\nWith this matter in mind:
\nMy tum? My behind?
\nLooking back we can see, – it\u2019s the latter.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Dave Johnson:<\/p>\n

She told him \u201cI hope you don\u2019t mind,
\nBut this is the way I unwind.\u201d
\nHer getting undressed
\nSet the stage for the rest;
\nExtending a date that was \u201cblind.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Trevor Alexander:<\/p>\n

Well I must have been out of my mind,
\nWhen my girlfriend asked if her behind
\nLooked big in that dress:
\nMy mouth told her, “Yes.”
\nNow to singleton life, I\u2019m resigned.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Mark Totterdell:<\/p>\n

I have fallen so very behind
\nThat I guess I\u2019m completely resigned
\nTo the fact there\u2019s no time
\nTo come up with a rhyme
\nFor this contest that has the word \u2018mind.\u2019<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

HONORABLE MENTIONS (BANK-THEMED LIMERICK DIVISION)<\/p>\n

Lisi Nortman:<\/p>\n

“Granny loves you and wants to express
\nHer hopes for your future success.
\nShe sent five dollars, Frank!
\nPut it right in the bank.
\nAnd in time, you will see it’s worth less.”<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Terry Marter: <\/p>\n

He approached the head teller (in floral)
\nTo tell \u2019er he wanted some oral.
\nThey snuck in a closet;
\nHe left his deposit,
\nThen hastily made a withdrawal.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Rudy Landesman:<\/p>\n

On the banks of the old Jordan River
\nSat King Herod; and, Lord, did he quiver!
\nHe’d caught with some guilt a
\nFat fish called gefilte.
\nAnd that, my good friends, ain\u2019t chopped liver.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Lisi Nortman:<\/p>\n

The first thing I felt was a tickle.
\nThe tickle turned into a trickle.
\nWe all had to “go”
\nCause the bank line was slow.
\nSeems that Joe way upfront lost a nickel.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Roger Haugen:<\/p>\n

You\u2019d call it a pretty dumb prank,
\nTo hold up the town\u2019s biggest bank;
\nBut he grabbed all the cash
\nAnd took off in a flash,
\nFiring only one bullet \u2013 a blank.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Sjaan VandenBroeder:<\/p>\n

I like banks that are caches for dough,
\nBut the tilt of an airplane? Oh no!
\nI love banks with a slope
\nTo a lake, but say. \u201cNope!\u201d
\nTo the ones that are made up of snow.<\/p>\n

Banks of lights at a gala are cool,
\nAs are bank shots in b-ball and pool;
\nPlus I\u2019m an admirer,
\nOf Banks known as Tyra
\n(Though I can\u2019t rhyme her name as a rule.)<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

HONORABLE MENTIONS (RANDOM WORD GENERATOR LIMERICK DIVISION: YAWN, CLAIM, SPORTS, LAZY, FEARLESS)<\/p>\n

Tim James: <\/p>\n

An artist who\u2019s claimed to be fearless
\nSports a look that is utterly peerless.
\nSurpassing Van Gogh,
\nHe makes buckets of dough
\nPainting \u201cStarry Night\u201d knockoffs while earless.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Jean McEwen:<\/p>\n

While the masses exhibit \u00e9lan
\nWatching spectator sports, hanging on
\nTo their team\u2019s every play,
\nI prefer the ballet.
\nWatching sports gives me one great big yawn.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Sue Dulley: <\/p>\n

In sports, I’m both fearless and lazy,
\nI won’t train if it’s wet, hot or hazy;
\nNot afraid to come last
\nAs I have in the past,
\nRunning slow, looking fresh as a daisy.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Tim James:<\/p>\n

\nShe claimed as she stifled a yawn:
\n\u201cAll the fun in our marriage is gone.\u201d
\nHe was too dense to fear
\nThat the ending was near \u2014
\nTill he found his stuff out on the lawn.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Terry Marter:<\/p>\n

My brother, at cycling, is fearless.
\nHe\u2019s a champ, and I\u2019d claim that he\u2019s peerless.
\nHe\u2019s active and zealous;
\nI\u2019m lazy, but jealous,
\nSo I sold all his stuff; now he\u2019s gear-less.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Sjaan VandenBroeder:<\/p>\n

The mere thought of a trip makes me wan;
\nI\u2019m too lazy to get up at dawn,
\nOr to ruin a nap,
\nJust to look at a map,
\nAnd then roam about hither and yawn.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Steve Benko:<\/p>\n

\n\u201cTo bet you will win would be crazy,\u201d
\nSaid the friends of a tortoise named Daisy.
\nBut she claimed, \u201cSee that yawn?
\nAll your jew’ls go and pawn,
\nFor at sports that hare\u2019s fearless but lazy.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Elizabeth M. Baker:<\/p>\n

To encourage a good health report,
\nMy doctor advises a sport.
\nI claimed to do one,
\nBut it just wasn\u2019t fun \u2014
\nSo my lifetime will have to be short!<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.<\/p>\n

In the next couple of minutes I\u2019ll be posting a new Limerick-Off,<\/a> which gives you yet another opportunity to win the Limerick-Off Award.<\/p>\n

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter<\/a>. Thanks!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick-Off winners based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in the last Limerick-Off. Congratulations to SJAAN VANDENBROEDER, who wins the Limerick-Off Award for this funny limerick: Should Trump chance on a thought, then he\u2019ll share it; He loves nothing so much as to air it. He\u2019ll give […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[62,104,84,3270,1192,1983,65,42,103,64],"tags":[4003,4465,6479,5106,5009,5018,5144,5463,5239,5446,5343,5080,3369,5407,3167,6231,487,523],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/46359"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=46359"}],"version-history":[{"count":29,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/46359\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":46434,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/46359\/revisions\/46434"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=46359"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=46359"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=46359"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}