{"id":45661,"date":"2022-04-30T16:13:17","date_gmt":"2022-04-30T20:13:17","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/?p=45661"},"modified":"2022-04-30T16:27:40","modified_gmt":"2022-04-30T20:27:40","slug":"limerick-off-award-494","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/2022\/04\/30\/limerick-off-award-494\/","title":{"rendered":"Limerick-Off Award (494)"},"content":{"rendered":"

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick-Off winners based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in the last Limerick-Off.<\/a> <\/p>\n

Congratulations to SJAAN VANDENBROEDER, who wins the Limerick-Off Award for this funny limerick:<\/p>\n

Sighed a cannibal, \u201cThis one\u2019s a waste,\u201d
\nAnd gave up on the quarry he’d chased.
\nHe could see that the chump
\nIn a tee that read, \u201cTrump,\u201d
\nWas a guy clearly lacking in taste.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Congratulations to GENNADIY GURARIY, who wins the Special COMMUNICATION-Themed Limerick Award for this funny limerick:<\/p>\n

A dyslexic old man from Manhattan
\nRead the Bible in English and Latin
\nThen glanced at his bed
\nWith a heart full of dread
\nFor he knew he could not reject satin.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Mark Totterdell,<\/a> Tony Holmes, Sjaan VandenBroeder, Konrad Schwoerke, Trevor Alexander, Terry Marter, Lisi Nortman Ardissone, Tim James, and Rudy Landesman. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:<\/p>\n

HONORABLE MENTIONS (“WASTE or WAIST”-Rhyme DIVISION)<\/p>\n

Mark Totterdell:<\/p>\n

My brownies with anchovy paste
\nHad such an unspeakable taste
\nThat the special big bin
\nThat they ended up in
\nHad a sign saying \u2018hazardous waste.\u2019<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Tony Holmes: <\/p>\n

Mum and dad: neither one was strait-laced,
\nSo their courtship, in short, was fast-paced.
\nThe result of one spree,
\nNine months later, was me,
\nThus, the padre had no time to waste.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Sjaan VandenBroeder: <\/p>\n

After birthing her young, my friend, Kate,
\nSoon complained she had gained \u201cbaby weight.\u201d
\nSo I sized up her waist,
\nThen ignoring good taste,
\nI asked how many babies she ate.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Konrad Schwoerke: <\/p>\n

Donald Trump is so clearly deplorable.
\nHis depravity\u2019s hardly ignorable.
\nHe\u2019s naught but a waste
\nWho ought be disgraced\u2014
\nThat sick schmuck thinks all women are whorable!<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Trevor Alexander: <\/p>\n

When I saw him, he stared poker-faced,
\nPutting trash in “recycling waste.”
\nI told him it\u2019s wrong,
\nThat it doesn\u2019t belong.
\nBut he just scurried past me post-haste.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

HONORABLE MENTIONS (COMMUNICATION-Themed LIMERICK DIVISION)<\/p>\n

Terry Marter: <\/p>\n

My vet\u2019s recent message (in text)
\nSaid your pig is not well, – he\u2019s quite vexed.
\nSince his favorite sow
\nBecame barbecue chow
\nHe\u2019s disgruntled, and thinks that he\u2019s next.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Lisi Nortman: <\/p>\n

Grandpa Joe said, \u201cI\u2019ll never forget \u2019er.
\nIn this world, there was nobody better.\u201d
\nHe kept her perfume,
\n(Which stinks up the room)
\nAnd some thingamabob called a letter.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Sjaan VandenBroeder: <\/p>\n

I keep wondering why my pet gerbil
\nNever utters so much as burble.
\nOnce, I urged him to speak,
\nBut he used the word \u201csqueak’\u201d
\nAs a noun, so perhaps he\u2019s nonverbal.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Tim James: <\/p>\n

She\u2019d no interest in sating his lust
\nBut her efforts to tell him went bust.
\nThen she hit on a way
\nHer disgust to convey:
\nWith but one single finger, upthrust.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Rudy Landesman:<\/p>\n

Mother scolded him hundreds of times
\nFor speaking to her in just rhymes.
\nThey had a big fight,
\nBut he knew she was right;
\nAnd now that young man only mimes.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Terry Marter:<\/p>\n

An aging relationship theorist
\nWas dying, so summoned his Dearest:
\n“To you, my dear Bill
\nHere\u2019s ‘the lot’ in my will,
\nSo prepare to be sued by my Nearest.”<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Lisi Nortman:<\/p>\n

Took a walk with my dog and my cat.
\nMy cat said, “Hey let’s chew the fat.”
\nI asked my dog, Zeek,
\n“Did you know cats could speak?”
\nHe said, “Yes, we’ve had many a chat.”<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Tony Holmes:<\/p>\n

\u2018You\u2019ve been chosen!\u2019 the letter assured,
\n\u2018One of only a few.\u2019 Was I lured?
\nI\u2019d been chosen before,
\nMany times, and I swore,
\n\u201cYou\u2019re not getting me this time, I\u2019m cured.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.<\/p>\n

In the next couple of minutes I\u2019ll be posting a new Limerick-Off,<\/a> which gives you yet another opportunity to win the Limerick-Off Award.<\/p>\n

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter<\/a>. Thanks!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick-Off winners based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in the last Limerick-Off. Congratulations to SJAAN VANDENBROEDER, who wins the Limerick-Off Award for this funny limerick: Sighed a cannibal, \u201cThis one\u2019s a waste,\u201d And gave up on the quarry he’d chased. He could see that the chump […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[62,104,84,3270,1192,1983,65,42,103,64],"tags":[5691,2538,4960,5009,5018,4951,5144,5463,5446,5343,5407,3167,5145,6231,487],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/45661"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=45661"}],"version-history":[{"count":32,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/45661\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":45712,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/45661\/revisions\/45712"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=45661"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=45661"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=45661"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}