{"id":45424,"date":"2022-03-05T17:18:06","date_gmt":"2022-03-05T21:18:06","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/?p=45424"},"modified":"2022-03-05T17:47:19","modified_gmt":"2022-03-05T21:47:19","slug":"limerick-off-award-490","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/2022\/03\/05\/limerick-off-award-490\/","title":{"rendered":"Limerick-Off Award (490)"},"content":{"rendered":"

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick-Off winners based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in the last Limerick-Off.<\/a> <\/p>\n

Congratulations to TIM JAMES, who wins the Limerick-Off Award for this funny limerick:<\/p>\n

What a beautiful voice, but egad!
\nShe\u2019s so dull that it makes me feel sad.
\nWhen she endlessly drones
\nIn those sweet dulcet tones
\nIt\u2019s like \u201cDancing Queen\u201d played on a Strad.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Congratulations to TERRY MARTER, who wins the Special REJECTION-Themed Limerick Award for this funny limerick:<\/p>\n

When big Jack said \u201cLet\u2019s Wed\u201d I said \u201cYup.\u201d
\nWe agreed to forego the prenup.
\nI should\u2019ve knocked back
\nThose advances from Jack
\nBut I didn\u2019t, and now I\u2019m knocked up.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Linda A. C. Fuller, Terry Marter, Lisi Nortman Ardissone, Sjaan VandenBroeder, Tim James, Mark Totterdell,<\/a> Fred Bortz,<\/a> Rudy Landesman, and Bob Turvey. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:<\/p>\n

HONORABLE MENTIONS (“DRONES”-Rhyme DIVISION)<\/p>\n

Linda A. C. Fuller: <\/p>\n

A speaker who mumbles and drones
\nWill be greeted with hisses and moans
\nFrom an audience mainly
\nComprised of ungainly
\nGlass housers who shouldn\u2019t throw stones.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Terry Marter: <\/p>\n

The night-show of bright swarming drones
\nWas wiped out by a storm, amid groans.
\nParents cursed \u2018Fuck you God\u2019
\nOn their wet homeward plod
\nWhile their kids looked up \u2018Fuck\u2019 on their phones.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Lisi Nortman Ardissone:<\/p>\n

Some people still say they don’t care
\nAbout noises that buzz in the air
\nFrom those ear-splitting drones
\nWhich rattle my bones.
\nIt’s more peaceful to sleep at O’Hare.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Sjaan VandenBroeder:<\/p>\n

Which is worse \u2014 a new suitor who drones
\nOn and on about stuff that he owns,
\nOr an old one who drums
\nWith his thumbs while he hums
\nStrange renditions of hits by The Stones?<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Tim James:<\/p>\n

Tom the deviant currently owns
\nHigh-def vid cams that fly on his drones.
\nHe was peeping at Dawn
\nTill her brother caught on.
\nTom\u2019s now sporting a few broken bones.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Sjaan VandenBroeder:<\/p>\n

I\u2019ve heard buzz that some honey bee drones
\nCan have trysts (even though they lack bones.)
\nShould a queen bee fly by,
\nThey will take to the sky
\nIn pursuit of erogenous zones.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Mark Totterdell:<\/p>\n

If the sounds of loud squeals, honks and groans
\nAnd unmusical wavering drones
\nAren\u2019t appealing to you,
\nThen the best thing to do
\nIs to not buy your children trombones.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

HONORABLE MENTIONS (REJECTION-Themed LIMERICK DIVISION)<\/p>\n

Lisi Nortman Ardissone:<\/p>\n

\nRejected from Harvard? But why?
\nI’m such an intelligent guy!
\nI’ve read poems and prose,
\nLike “The Sun Also Rose”
\nAnd my fav’rite was “Pitcher On Rye.”<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Fred Bortz:<\/p>\n

Dear Author, Your work I decline,
\nThough I love every nuance and line.
\nIt’s sexy and funny,
\nAnd we pay good money,
\nBut not for our readers, age nine.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Rudy Landesman:<\/p>\n

I thought we were great, when in bed.
\nI loved her and wanted to wed.
\nNow I can\u2019t understand;
\nWhen I asked for her hand,
\nShe gave me the finger instead.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Sjaan VandenBroeder: <\/p>\n

No one laughed at my yarns at my school.
\nThey rejected my puns, as a rule.
\nSo to cover my hurt
\nI embroidered a shirt
\nWith big letters that read, \u201cThis Is Crewel!\u201d\n<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Bob Turvey:<\/p>\n

Said his doc to a fellow called Hewish,
\n\u201cYour heart\u2019s effed \u2013 and that\u2019s why you\u2019re bluish.
\nBut this pig heart is new;
\nI can give it to you.\u201d
\n\u201cI\u2019ll reject it,\u201d said Hewish. \u201cI\u2019m Jewish.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Sjaan VandenBroeder:<\/p>\n

A young student done-in by pre med,
\nThought he\u2019d ace aeronautics instead.
\nHe said, \u201cI\u2019ll make my bones
\nBy mastering drones!\u201d
\nBut the subject was over his head.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.<\/p>\n

In the next couple of minutes I\u2019ll be posting a new Limerick-Off,<\/a> which gives you yet another opportunity to win the Limerick-Off Award.<\/p>\n

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter<\/a>. Thanks!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick-Off winners based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in the last Limerick-Off. Congratulations to TIM JAMES, who wins the Limerick-Off Award for this funny limerick: What a beautiful voice, but egad! She\u2019s so dull that it makes me feel sad. When she endlessly drones In those […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[62,104,84,3270,1192,1983,65,42,103,64],"tags":[5401,3523,5009,5018,3026,5144,5463,5446,5343,5407,3167,487,523],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/45424"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=45424"}],"version-history":[{"count":26,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/45424\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":45451,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/45424\/revisions\/45451"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=45424"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=45424"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=45424"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}