{"id":45342,"date":"2022-02-19T17:19:35","date_gmt":"2022-02-19T21:19:35","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/?p=45342"},"modified":"2022-02-19T17:34:08","modified_gmt":"2022-02-19T21:34:08","slug":"limerick-off-award-489","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/2022\/02\/19\/limerick-off-award-489\/","title":{"rendered":"Limerick-Off Award (489)"},"content":{"rendered":"

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick-Off winners based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in the last Limerick-Off.<\/a> <\/p>\n

Congratulations to SJAAN VANDENBROEDER, who wins the Limerick-Off Award for this funny limerick:<\/p>\n

When the mountain folk first grew aware,
\nThat their \u201cBigfoot\u201d had grown too much hair,
\nA young barber, quite brave,
\nOffered Yeti a shave,
\nBut backed off when he heard him yell, \u201cNe\u2019er!\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Congratulations to TIM JAMES, who wins the Special SHORTAGE-Themed Limerick Award for this funny limerick:<\/p>\n

There\u2019s a shortage that threatens the gains
\nThat we\u2019ve made against SARS viral strains.
\nWith the number of hacks
\nSpewing stuff anti-vax,
\nWhat we lack most acutely is brains.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Lisi Nortman Ardissone, Sondra Landin, Tim James, Bob Turvey, Mark Totterdell,<\/a> Sjaan VandenBroeder, Terry Marter, Brian Allgar,<\/a> and Steven Frakt. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:<\/p>\n

HONORABLE MENTIONS (DOUBLE DUTY DIVISION: \u201cWEAR or WHERE or WARE or BEWARE or AWARE\u201d RHYME LIMERICKS THAT ARE ALSO SHORTAGES LIMERICKS)<\/p>\n

Lisi Nortman:<\/p>\n

He bragged, \u201cYou will note when I\u2019m bare,
\nMy member\u2019s enormous and rare.\u201d
\nI searched high and low,
\nWith continual woe,
\nAnd was finally forced to ask, \u201cWhere?\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

HONORABLE MENTIONS (“WEAR or WHERE or WARE or BEWARE or AWARE”-Rhyme DIVISION)<\/p>\n

Sondra Landin:<\/p>\n

On the subway, it\u2019s Watch Out, Beware!
\nAt the airport, it\u2019s Welcome, Take Care!
\nOn the street, speeding bikes,
\nFalling metal, small tykes;
\nAm I safe, sitting home in my chair?<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Tim James:<\/p>\n

Try our new paper casual wear!
\nIt\u2019s quite cheap and has no need for care.
\nWhen your clothing you doff,
\nYou can rip it right off.
\nThe name of the line: Wear and Tear.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Bob Turvey:<\/p>\n

Said a doctor, \u201cIf patients are bare,
\nBaggy pants are the best thing to wear.
\nA member that\u2019s turgid
\nIs in folds of serge hid;
\nWhich avoids that embarrassing glare.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Mark Totterdell:<\/p>\n

A fur coat is a thing to forswear,
\nIt\u2019s a garment you never should wear,
\nSo get out of that habit
\nUnless you\u2019re a rabbit,
\nFox, beaver, wolf, squirrel or bear.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Sjaan VandenBroeder:<\/p>\n

I had DNA tested for kicks,
\nSo my \u201croots\u201d I might firmly affix.
\nTo a lab I sent hair
\nFrom a sweater I wear.
\nThe results that came back? \u201cPoodle mix.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Terry Marter:<\/p>\n

On Valentine\u2019s Day, \u2013 not a care!
\nLove\u2019s journey will end who-knows-where.
\nHow the years quickly pass!
\nBut we still raise a glass,
\nThen we both fall asleep in our chair.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Lisi Nortman:<\/p>\n

Inscribed on the Smith\u2019s welcome mat:
\n\u201cOur puppy is truly a brat.
\nSo guests, please beware
\nAnd enter with care.
\nWhile you\u2019re at it, watch out for the cat.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

HONORABLE MENTIONS (SHORTAGES-Themed LIMERICK DIVISION)<\/p>\n

Brian Allgar:<\/p>\n

With the shortage of loo-rolls complete,
\nMany folks can no longer excrete.
\nBut, thankfully, I
\nHave a massive supply –
\nWith a picture of Trump on each sheet.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Lisi Nortman Ardissone:<\/p>\n

I’ve yet to spot one man for me
\nBecause it’s important that he
\nHas a house and a job,
\nAnd must not be a slob.
\nFor those assets, I’d have to find three.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Steve Frakt:<\/p>\n

Oh where are those wonderful elves
\nTo help when we can\u2019t help ourselves?
\nWish they\u2019d go to the store
\nAnd wait ’til there\u2019s more
\nToilet paper, on now empty shelves.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Bob Turvey:<\/p>\n

Said a sex-mad young fellow called Benny,
\n\u201cThere\u2019s no shortage of girls \u2013 there are many.
\nThey have beautiful thighs
\nAnd \u201ccome-hither\u201d eyes \u2013
\nBut the fact is \u2013 I AIN\u2019T GETTING ANY!\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.<\/p>\n

In the next couple of minutes I\u2019ll be posting a new Limerick-Off,<\/a> which gives you yet another opportunity to win the Limerick-Off Award.<\/p>\n

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter<\/a>. Thanks!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick-Off winners based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in the last Limerick-Off. Congratulations to SJAAN VANDENBROEDER, who wins the Limerick-Off Award for this funny limerick: When the mountain folk first grew aware, That their \u201cBigfoot\u201d had grown too much hair, A young barber, quite brave, Offered […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[62,104,84,3270,1192,1983,65,42,103,64],"tags":[5401,4003,5009,5018,5144,5463,5343,5447,5361,5407,3167,487,523],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/45342"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=45342"}],"version-history":[{"count":37,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/45342\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":45393,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/45342\/revisions\/45393"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=45342"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=45342"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=45342"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}