{"id":45254,"date":"2022-02-05T17:32:18","date_gmt":"2022-02-05T21:32:18","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/?p=45254"},"modified":"2022-02-06T15:17:51","modified_gmt":"2022-02-06T19:17:51","slug":"limerick-off-award-488","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/2022\/02\/05\/limerick-off-award-488\/","title":{"rendered":"Limerick-Off Award (488)"},"content":{"rendered":"

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick-Off winners based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in the last Limerick-Off.<\/a> <\/p>\n

Congratulations to MARK TOTTERDELL,<\/a> who wins the Limerick-Off Award for this funny limerick:<\/p>\n

A mathematician cried “Blast!
\nThe age that I\u2019ve reached now is vast.
\nI\u2019ve lived through such time
\nThat I\u2019m well past my prime.
\nEighty-nine is the prime that I\u2019m past!”<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Congratulations to BRIAN ALLGAR,<\/a> who wins the Special ACCUSATIONS-Themed Limerick Award for this funny limerick:<\/p>\n

I pressed the \u201cDissatisfied\u201d button
\nAnd signed it as \u201cUnhappy glutton.\u201d
\n\u201cWhat you sold me\u2019s a scam;
\nThough it\u2019s labelled ‘Spring Lamb,’
\nFrom the taste, it is elderly mutton.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Sjaan VandenBroeder, Tim James, Byron Miller, Lisi Nortman Ardissone, Sondra Landin, Quarante Quelque Chose, Gennadiy Gurariy, Jean McEwen, Dave Johnson, Wildman, Rudy Landesman, Terry Marter, and Steve Benko.<\/a> Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:<\/p>\n

HONORABLE MENTIONS (“PRIME”-Rhyme DIVISION)<\/p>\n

Sjaan VandenBroeder: <\/p>\n

Since her wisecracks and punchlines were glib,
\nEve could poke with a joke (or ad-lib.)
\nAnd any old time,
\nThe target most prime
\nWould be Adam \u2014 so easy to rib.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Tim James: <\/p>\n

The dish she was planning was prime:
\nGrade-A beef, marinated in lime,
\nParsley, rosemary, sage.
\nThen it needed to age.
\nBut it failed, \u2019cause she ran out of thyme.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Byron Miller: <\/p>\n

Europeans once found it hysterical
\nWhen science said Earth may be spherical.
\nAncient Greeks in their prime
\nHad known this for some time,
\nThough Columbus would call it Americal.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Lisi Nortman: <\/p>\n

I\u2019m the only man here; it’s sublime.
\nAnd at 90, I\u2019m still in my prime.
\nThe \u201cLadies of Gray\u201d
\nJust can\u2019t stay away.
\nI keep begging them, \u201cOne at a Time!\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Sondra Landin: <\/p>\n

I admit that I\u2019m way past my prime;
\nFor that, I blame nothing but time.
\nMy wits are still keen
\nAnd I do vent my spleen \u2013
\nWhy the hell can\u2019t I write a great rhyme?<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Quarante Quelque Chose:<\/p>\n

A primate called Kate turned to crime
\nWith pickpocket skills used part-time.
\nShe spent all her gains
\nOn nuts and plantains…
\nAnd now stars in a movie on Prime.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Gennadiy Gurariy:<\/p>\n

\u201cOur lives,\u201d spoke the sevens, \u201care fun,
\nFor nobody under the sun
\nHas committed the crime
\nOf dividing a prime,
\nUnless, of course, you are The One!\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

HONORABLE MENTIONS (ACCUSATIONS-Themed LIMERICK DIVISION)<\/p>\n

Tim James: <\/p>\n

I confronted him, flushed and irate,
\nAnd accused him of bedding my mate.
\nHe said, \u201cThat\u2019s a damned lie;
\nI\u2019m an ethical guy!
\nBesides… she just isn\u2019t that great.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Jean McEwen: <\/p>\n

When he asks where I\u2019ve been, I reply,
\n\u201cWhy, at church!\u201d He then counters, \u201cYou lie!\u201d
\nCould it be that my cover
\nFor trysts with my lover
\nIs failing \u2019cause hubby\u2019s a spy?<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Lisi Nortman: <\/p>\n

The perception that \u201chubby\u201d imparts
\nIs false. (I\u2019m the one with the smarts.)
\nHe blames our Maltese
\nFor cutting the cheese.
\nYet he\u2019s the one blowing the farts.\n<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Dave Johnson: <\/p>\n

The passenger wouldn\u2019t refrain:
\nHis anti-mask rants were profane.
\nSo back to the gates
\nWhere the F.B.I. waits;
\nFor actions he\u2019ll have to ex-plane.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Sjaan VandenBroeder: <\/p>\n

I was meaning to look up \u201cJ\u2019accuse,\u201d
\nWhen instead I succumbed to a snooze.
\nBut from all I can glean
\nAs to what it might mean,
\nIt\u2019s a French word for \u201cTrump\u2019s in the news.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Wildman: <\/p>\n

It appeared on my arm in a flash
\nAnd my bold accusation was brash.
\n\u201cPoison oak from your yard
\nHas me scratching and scarred!\u201d
\nNeighbor Ned claimed my judgment was rash.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Gennadiy Gurariy:<\/p>\n

Whenever I\u2019m blamed or accused,
\nIt truthfully leaves me confused.
\nMy conscience is clean
\nIn fact, it\u2019s pristine-
\nThe damn thing has never been used.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Rudy Landesman:<\/p>\n

He goosed her when nobody looked.
\nShe complained, and he duly was booked.
\nHe now stews in jail
\nAnd tells his sad tale:
\n\u201cHad some fun, but my goose now is cooked.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Terry Marter <\/p>\n

The defendant, all battered and bruised,
\nDenies crimes of which he\u2019s been accused.
\nNow he\u2019s caught and in court,
\nClaiming street fights are sport,
\nCuz the crowd (placing bets) were amused.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Rudy Landesman: <\/p>\n

The hick was grammatically crude.
\nHe was also possessive, that dude.
\nShe, a true New York native,
\nDidn\u2019t want to be dative.
\nShe was in accusative mood.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Steve Benko: <\/p>\n

Said Donald, \u201cI can\u2019t stand rejection,
\nSo I claim that they stole the election.
\nBut I\u2019m still loved by Putin,
\nAnd soon, sure as shootin\u2019,
\nIn Moscow I\u2019ll have an erection.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Dave Johnson: <\/p>\n

\u201cI know what you\u2019re up to\u201d she said,
\nThe moment he crawled into bed.
\n\u201cThose things on your phone
\nWhen you think you\u2019re alone
\nWind up in my archive instead.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.<\/p>\n

In the next couple of minutes I\u2019ll be posting a new Limerick-Off,<\/a> which gives you yet another opportunity to win the Limerick-Off Award.<\/p>\n

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter<\/a>. Thanks!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick-Off winners based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in the last Limerick-Off. Congratulations to MARK TOTTERDELL, who wins the Limerick-Off Award for this funny limerick: A mathematician cried “Blast! The age that I\u2019ve reached now is vast. I\u2019ve lived through such time That I\u2019m well past […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[62,104,84,3270,1192,1983,65,42,103,64],"tags":[4003,2578,4465,5691,5106,5009,5018,5144,5463,6087,5446,5343,5447,5080,5407,3167,6031,487,523],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/45254"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=45254"}],"version-history":[{"count":27,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/45254\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":45325,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/45254\/revisions\/45325"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=45254"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=45254"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=45254"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}