{"id":45105,"date":"2022-01-08T17:03:31","date_gmt":"2022-01-08T21:03:31","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/?p=45105"},"modified":"2022-01-08T17:26:04","modified_gmt":"2022-01-08T21:26:04","slug":"limerick-off-award-486","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/2022\/01\/08\/limerick-off-award-486\/","title":{"rendered":"Limerick-Off Award (486)"},"content":{"rendered":"

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick-Off winners based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in the last Limerick-Off.<\/a> <\/p>\n

Congratulations to BRIAN ALLGAR,<\/a> who wins the Limerick-Off Award for this funny limerick:<\/p>\n

Said Stravinsky, \u201cMy schedule is tight;
\nMy publishers called me last night
\nTo commission a song
\nAbout righting a wrong,
\nBut I\u2019m too busy writing a Rite.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Congratulations to MARK TOTTERDELL<\/a>, who wins the Special SHOTS-Themed Limerick Award for this funny limerick:<\/p>\n

Novak Djokovic, agile and tall,
\nPlays great shots with a racket and ball,
\nBut there\u2019s one kind of shot
\nThat he still hasn\u2019t got,
\nBecause Novak\u2019s had no vax at all.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Sjaan VandenBroeder, Tony Holmes, Bob Turvey, Brian Allgar,<\/a> Jean McEwen, Lisi Nortman Ardissone, Terry Marter, Dave Johnson, Tim James, Roger Haugen, Kirk Miller, Steve Benko,<\/a> Fred Bortz,<\/a> Sharon Neeman, David Hodges, and Sue Dulley. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:<\/p>\n

HONORABLE MENTIONS (DOUBLE DUTY DIVISION: \u201cRIGHT or WRITE or RITE\u201d RHYME LIMERICKS THAT ARE ALSO SHOTS-THEMED LIMERICKS)<\/p>\n

Sjaan VandenBroeder:<\/p>\n

Elmer Fudd sang in Shanghai one night \u2014
\nKaraoked (his last civil right.)
\nTook one shot at a song
\nWith \u201cIf wuvving you\u2019s wong,
\nThen (it\u2019s twue) I don\u2019t want to be wight.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Sue Dulley:<\/p>\n

We’ve had our three shots; it’s all right
\nTo meet now and then for a bite.
\nAnd if anyone asks,
\nSay we all wore our masks
\nWhile devouring our dinner tonight.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Tony Holmes:<\/p>\n

If you\u2019ve might on your side, you are right,
\nAnd you can, with impunity, smite.
\nYou are calling the shots.
\nYou can crush the have-nots,
\nBut you dare not sleep tight every night<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

HONORABLE MENTIONS (“RIGHT or WRITE or RITE”-Rhyme DIVISION)<\/p>\n

Bob Turvey:<\/p>\n

If you suffer from cramps in the night
\nA banana will soon put you right.
\n\u201cI\u2019ve tried it,\u201d said Jane,
\nMany times \u2013 but in vain.\u201d
\nSaid her friend, \u201cIf you eat it, it might.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Jean McEwen:<\/p>\n

It had seemed to be love at first sight;
\nI had finally found Mr. Right!!
\nThen those fresh bloody stains
\nAnd those human remains
\nIn his trunk gave me pause; I took flight.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Lisi Nortman:<\/p>\n

My foot fell asleep on the flight,
\nYet the rest of my body felt right.
\nThen at the hotel,
\nI slept very well,
\nBut my foot stayed awake through the night.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Terry Marter:<\/p>\n

Half asleep; half awake, half the night:
\nHalf a Lim\u2019rick that STILL don\u2019t look right.
\nTime to rise for a brew, –
\nSlice of toast, perhaps two.
\nAdd a bowl of “Just Right?” I just might!<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Dave Johnson:<\/p>\n

Jen\u2019s husband was trying to write
\nA poem he hoped would ignite
\nHer passionate side.
\nBut as hard as he tried,
\nHis assonance failed to excite.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Tim James:<\/p>\n

A randy young gal named Costello
\nHooked up with a like-minded fellow.
\nHe lied that he\u2019d write
\nWhen he left her that night.
\nWhen it comes to commitment, he\u2019s yellow.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Sjaan VandenBroeder:<\/p>\n

An obstructionist ended the night,
\nWhen he got the last word in a fight.
\n\u201cI\u2019m agreeing,\u201d said he,
\nTo say we disagree.
\nBut that won\u2019t make me any less right.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Roger Haugen:<\/p>\n

A new era was born at the site
\nOf mankind\u2019s first motorized flight;
\nAhead of all others,
\nThese two small-town brothers
\nShowed the world what it meant to be (W)right.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Kirk Miller:<\/p>\n

At the funeral, minister Dwight
\nWas real nervous and feeling uptight.
\n\u2019Twas the first one where he
\nHad to speak, so you see
\nHe worked hard so he\u2019d write the right rite.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Steve Benko:<\/p>\n

When on pot, you\u2019re as high as a kite;
\nIt isn\u2019t the best time to write.
\nYou think you\u2019re inspired,
\nBut Mad says, \u201cYou\u2019re fired!
\nYour work on my page is a blight!\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

HONORABLE MENTIONS (SHOTS-Themed LIMERICK DIVISION)<\/p>\n

Tim James:<\/p>\n

After pounding nine shots of sloe gin
\nI took note of her come-hither grin.
\nSo we went to her place.
\nBut oh God, the disgrace!
\nI was wholly unable to sin.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Brian Allgar:<\/p>\n

The photographer\u2019s English was lean;
\nThe police soon arrived on the scene.
\nHis mistake was to state
\nTo the guard on the gate
\n\u201cI have come to take shots at your Queen.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Fred Bortz:<\/p>\n

It\u2019s too bad that the guy had to die
\nFrom drinking too much of that rye.
\nAlas, what a shame,
\nBut the rules of the game
\nWere a shot for each Trumpian lie.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Sharon Neeman:<\/p>\n

There’s a faction that’s riddled with twits
\nWho have far more polemic than wits:
\n“Don’t get jabbed!” they all cry
\nAs folks sicken and die —
\nSo they’re both anti-shots and pro shits.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

David Hodges:<\/p>\n

In German, \u201cmein Schatz\u201d means \u201cmy treasure\u201d \u2013
\nA sweetheart beyond any measure.
\nAn American miss
\nMay take umbrage at this;
\nBeing called \u201cShots\u201d will bring her no pleasure!<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Lisi Nortman:<\/p>\n

The last time I went to my shrink,
\nHe said, \u201cGertrude, you need to rethink!
\n\u201cYou MUST get that shot!\u201d
\nBut then I did not,
\nWhen I found out it wasn\u2019t a drink.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.<\/p>\n

In the next couple of minutes I\u2019ll be posting a new Limerick-Off,<\/a> which gives you yet another opportunity to win the Limerick-Off Award.<\/p>\n

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter<\/a>. Thanks!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick-Off winners based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in the last Limerick-Off. Congratulations to BRIAN ALLGAR, who wins the Limerick-Off Award for this funny limerick: Said Stravinsky, \u201cMy schedule is tight; My publishers called me last night To commission a song About righting a wrong, But […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[62,104,84,3270,1192,1983,65,42,103,64],"tags":[5401,4003,4465,5723,3523,5106,3284,5009,5018,5144,5463,5239,5052,5343,5080,3369,5407,3167,5145,487,523],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/45105"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=45105"}],"version-history":[{"count":31,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/45105\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":45159,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/45105\/revisions\/45159"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=45105"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=45105"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=45105"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}