{"id":45043,"date":"2021-12-25T17:29:37","date_gmt":"2021-12-25T21:29:37","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/?p=45043"},"modified":"2021-12-25T17:47:54","modified_gmt":"2021-12-25T21:47:54","slug":"limerick-off-award-485","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/2021\/12\/25\/limerick-off-award-485\/","title":{"rendered":"Limerick-Off Award (485)"},"content":{"rendered":"

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick-Off winners based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in the last Limerick-Off. <\/a> <\/p>\n

Congratulations to SJAAN VANDENBROEDER, who wins the Limerick-Off Award for this funny limerick:<\/p>\n

I have frown lines too old to erase
\nFrom that place where they\u2019re taking up space.
\nIf I cut down on strife,
\nAnd say \u201cno\u201d to the knife,
\nI\u2019ll save money. (Too late to save face).<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Congratulations to TIM JAMES, who wins the Special FISH-Themed Limerick Award for this funny limerick:<\/p>\n

\nA tuna whose name was Ra\u00fal
\nWouldn\u2019t run with a crowd, as a rule.
\nOff alone on a lark,
\nHe fell prey to a shark.
\nHere\u2019s the lesson: don\u2019t drop out of school.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Terry Marter, Sharon Neeman, Mark Totterdell,<\/a> Sjaan VandenBroeder, Lisi Nortman Ardissone, James Mac Hale, Dave Johnson, Tim James, Steve Benko,<\/a> Tony Holmes, Fred Bortz,<\/a> Lorraine Padden, Rudy Landesman, David Friedman, Roger Haugen, and Gennadiy Gurariy. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:<\/p>\n

HONORABLE MENTIONS (DOUBLE DUTY DIVISION: \u201cSPACE\u201d RHYME LIMERICKS THAT ARE ALSO FISH-THEMED LIMERICKS)<\/p>\n

Terry Marter:<\/p>\n

\nThe fresh Plaice, placed on ice in a crate
\nWere still jumping and hard to placate.
\nI raced to that space,-
\nGrabbed a Plaice (and a Dace)
\nAnd an ace Hollandaise for my plate.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Sharon Neeman:<\/p>\n

Said the boss to the fish-seller, \u201cTodd,
\nYour damn cat just scarfed up all the cod,
\nHerring, whiting and plaice
\nThat we had in this space!
\nTake her home or I\u2019ll deck you, by God!\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

HONORABLE MENTIONS (“SPACE”-Rhyme DIVISION)<\/p>\n

Mark Totterdell: <\/p>\n

Although there were those who would knock it,
\nAnd a few who would openly mock it,
\nJeff was shot into space
\nWith a smile on his face
\nIn his massive great cock of a rocket.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Sjaan VandenBroeder: <\/p>\n

As a student, Josh seemed out of place.
\nYou could tell by the look on his face.
\nBut he\u2019d read any comic
\nwith themes astronomic.
\nHe\u2019s in college now, taking up space.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Lisi Nortman Ardissone: <\/p>\n

An MRI tube’s a cool place.
\nYou can ask for some piano with bass.
\nBut don’t start to groove
\nCuz they won’t let you move,
\nAnd it clearly has limited space.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Terry Marter: <\/p>\n

Drunk one night, he had found a warm space
\nFor a nap (in a chook breeding place).
\nThen up came the sun
\nAnd in more ways than one
\nHe\u2019d awoken with egg on his face.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

James Mac Hale:<\/p>\n

Blitzen\u2019s teaching the reindeer to brace
\nWhen they\u2019re landing in limited space:
\n\u201cTo alight on the roof
\nYou must dig in your hoof,
\nOr expect Rudolf\u2019s butt in your face!\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Dave Johnson: <\/p>\n

When zillionaires blast into space,
\nOne question \u2013 so why the big chase?
\nDoes leaving this earth
\nHelp them showcase their worth
\nTo hustle some alien race?<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Terry Marter: <\/p>\n

A Big Bang! A Black Hole, and much Hissing
\n(Understand it\u2019s not Einstein I\u2019m dissing),
\nBut you cannot see space
\n(Though it\u2019s right in your face),
\nSo how can you tell if it\u2019s missing?<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

James Mac Hale: <\/p>\n

I\u2019m named Mars, I\u2019m soliciting Venus.
\nWhen gravity pulls on my penis
\nI say \u201cLet us embrace
\nIn our orbital space
\nAnd have asteroids flying between us.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Tim James: <\/p>\n

As we humans move out into space,
\nWe may find it\u2019s a wonderful place:
\nEv\u2019ry world full of life,
\nFree of hatred and strife.
\n(We\u2019ll set phasers on kill, just in case.)<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Steve Benko:<\/p>\n

Once John Glenn went around us in space,
\nJFK said, \u201cWith Russia let\u2019s race.
\nIs the moon made of cheese?
\nLet\u2019s find out. And now please,
\nMiss Monroe, come and sit on my face.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Tony Holmes:<\/p>\n

Modern misses defending their space
\nShould give thanks to the makers of Mace.
\nNothing says, \u201cI said no
\nAnd I meant it. Please go!\u201d
\nLike a pepper-spray jet in the face.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

HONORABLE MENTIONS (FISH-Themed LIMERICK DIVISION)<\/p>\n

Fred Bortz: <\/p>\n

Don\u2019t you think it\u2019s the slightest bit odd
\nThat E-pisca-pals worship a god
\nThat resembles some fish
\nAnd tastes so delish?
\nYes it\u2019s true. I am swearing to Cod!<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Lisi Nortman Ardissone: <\/p>\n

“Our Special’s a wonderful dish.
\nIt will answer your fine-dining wish.
\nThe chef’s gone all out
\nTo spruce up the trout,
\nSo you won’t know you’re eating a fish.”<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Lorraine Padden:<\/p>\n

“A dogfish is really a shark,”
\nHe tells me with no lack of snark.
\n“If you think it\u2019ll fetch,
\nYou\u2019ll most likely kvetch
\n\u2019Cuz its bite is much worse than its bark.”<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Rudy Landesman:<\/p>\n

You accuse me of being quite oafish,
\nBecause I refuse to eat blowfish.
\nFrom all that I hear
\nSome are poisonous, dear.
\nFor my dish, I would wish to have no fish.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

David Friedman: <\/p>\n

Remember the fish they called Wanda?
\nStarring Curtis and Kline (but not Fonda).
\nIn the end, Kevin Kline
\nOn Wanda would dine,
\nA truly unfortunate shanda.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Mark Totterdell: <\/p>\n

When chilling with Steve, my pet stickleback,
\nI\u2019d tickle his fins, he would tickle back,
\nThen he\u2019d wiggle each spine,
\nOf which he had nine,
\nTo the post-grungey music of Nickelback.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Roger Haugen:<\/p>\n

It\u2019s always my number-one wish
\nWhen fishing, to catch a big fish;
\nI\u2019m hooked in the weeds,
\nWhile the osprey succeeds
\nIn grabbing a fresh tasty dish.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Sjaan VandenBroeder:<\/p>\n

When my Rev gave me cod in a dish,
\nHe said, \u201cEat it all now, if you wish.\u201d
\nThen he showed me some gear \u2014
\nRods and reels (and a spear!)
\nAnd I prayed, \u201cPlease don\u2019t teach me to fish!\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Tim James:<\/p>\n

Two piranhas, named Kevin and Kate,
\nMade their way down a stream, where they ate.
\nThen they had a big row.
\nKate said, \u201cDon\u2019t have a cow!\u201d
\nKevin grinned as he answered, \u201cToo late!\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

David Friedman: <\/p>\n

There once was an old fish named Sid
\nWho loved the aquarium lid.
\nWhen he was asked why,
\n\u201cI\u2019ve just,\u201d he would sigh
\n\u201cLoved tank tops since I was a kid.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Sjaan VandenBroeder: <\/p>\n

Rod takes fish from my dish when we dine,
\nBut he pays for both meals, so it\u2019s fine.
\nI put up with this blunder,
\nBut doesn\u2019t he wonder
\nWhy I never say, \u201cYour plaice or mine?\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Gennadiy Gurariy:<\/p>\n

There once was a cat with a wish-
\nTo learn how to swim with the fish.
\nHe fervidly swore
\nIt was just to explore
\nWhile gently caressing his dish.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.<\/p>\n

In the next couple of minutes I\u2019ll be posting a new Limerick-Off,<\/a> which gives you yet another opportunity to win the Limerick-Off Award.<\/p>\n

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter<\/a>. Thanks!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick-Off winners based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in the last Limerick-Off. Congratulations to SJAAN VANDENBROEDER, who wins the Limerick-Off Award for this funny limerick: I have frown lines too old to erase From that place where they\u2019re taking up space. If I cut down on […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[105,62,104,84,3270,1192,1983,65,42,103,64],"tags":[4465,5187,3523,5691,5973,5009,5018,5144,5972,5463,5239,5446,5052,5343,5080,5407,3167,5145,487,523],"class_list":["post-45043","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-advice-humor","category-contests","category-limerick-haiku-seeds","category-limerick-award-winners","category-limerick-competition","category-limerick-contest","category-limerick-of-the-week","category-limerick-writing-contest","category-limericks","category-poetry-prompts","category-poetry-contest","tag-dave-johnson","tag-david-friedman","tag-fred-bortz","tag-gennadiy-gurariy","tag-james-mac-hale","tag-limerick-contest","tag-limerick-of-the-week","tag-lisi-nortman-ardissone","tag-lorraine-padden","tag-mark-totterdell","tag-roger-haugen","tag-rudy-landesman","tag-sharon-neeman","tag-sjaan-vandenbroeder","tag-steve-benko","tag-terry-marter","tag-tim-james","tag-tony-holmes","tag-writing-competitions","tag-writing-contest"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/45043","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=45043"}],"version-history":[{"count":34,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/45043\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":45095,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/45043\/revisions\/45095"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=45043"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=45043"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=45043"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}