{"id":44555,"date":"2021-10-02T16:04:19","date_gmt":"2021-10-02T20:04:19","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/?p=44555"},"modified":"2021-10-02T16:32:38","modified_gmt":"2021-10-02T20:32:38","slug":"limerick-off-award-479","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/2021\/10\/02\/limerick-off-award-479\/","title":{"rendered":"Limerick-Off Award (479)"},"content":{"rendered":"

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick-Off winners based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in the last Limerick-Off.<\/a> <\/p>\n

Congratulations to GENNADIY GURARIY, who wins the Limerick-Off Award for this funny limerick:<\/p>\n

\nI once caught the flu from a fly
\nWho flew on my pie from on high.
\nI put down the coup
\nBy slamming my shoe
\nInto what has become shoefly pie.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Congratulations to SJAAN VANDENBROEDER, who wins the Special BRAGGING-Themed Limerick Award for this funny limerick:<\/p>\n

After scaring up \u201cFriends\u201d coast-to-coast,
\nCasper boasts on a post, \u201cI\u2019ve the most!
\nCountless followers boo me,
\nAnd thousands see through me \u2014
\nNot to mention the millions I ghost!\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Brian Allgar,<\/a> Sue Dulley, Dave Johnson, David Friedman, Sjaan VandenBroeder, Robert Schechter,<\/a> Tim James, Ken Gosse, Rudy Landesman, Gennadiy Gurariy, Lisi Nortman Ardissone, and Byron Miller. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:<\/p>\n

HONORABLE MENTIONS (DOUBLE DUTY DIVISION: \u201cFLY\u201d RHYME LIMERICKS THAT ARE ALSO BRAGGING LIMERICKS)<\/p>\n

Brian Allgar<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m a yugely-equipped kinda guy,\u201d
\nBoasted Donald, unzipping his fly.
\nSo the hooker went down,
\nGave a mystified frown.
\n\u201cI can\u2019t find it,\u201d she said with a sigh.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

HONORABLE MENTIONS (“FLY”-Rhyme DIVISION)<\/p>\n

Sue Dulley <\/p>\n

The shock made me think I would die;
\nA bug in my fabric supply!
\nI started to froth
\nAt the mouth – “Help! a moth!!”
\nBut it turned out to be but-a-fly.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Dave Johnson:<\/p>\n

A math teacher learned how to fly;
\nThe skill that allowed him to try
\nHis brand-new technique.
\nNow some students may seek
\nTo learn about pi in the sky.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

David Friedman:<\/p>\n

There once was a young fly named Whit
\nWho hated his life quite a bit.
\n\u201cTo be,\u201d he would sigh,
\n\u201cA bee, not a fly,
\nAnd fly among flowers, not shit!\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Sue Dulley:<\/p>\n

I am stuck in this treetop so high,
\nJust a chick; I don’t know how to fly.
\nI attest that it’s best
\nThat I rest in this nest,
\nEgg me on, kick me out and I’ll die.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Sjaan VandenBroeder: <\/p>\n

I said, as I pawed through the rack,
\nFor a baseball mitt (something I lack),
\nTo the clerk standing by,
\n\u201cSoon I\u2019ll catch my first fly!\u201d
\nHe said, \u201cWhy not just give it a whack?\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Brian Allgar: <\/p>\n

\nMy wife hates the food when we fly;
\nShe complains: \u201cGourmet food? What a lie!\u201d
\nOn our journey to Sydney
\nThey served steak-and-kidney.
\n\u201cYou see? It\u2019s just pie in the sky.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Dave Johnson:<\/p>\n

While under a microscope\u2019s eye,
\nThis subject has secrets to pry.
\nEntomologists know
\nThat it just goes to show
\nThere\u2019s stuff you can learn on the fly.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Robert Schechter: <\/p>\n

I looked up by chance at the sky
\nWhen a pigeon pooped crap in my eye.
\nI let out a curse,
\nBut it could have been worse:
\nImagine if hippos could fly!<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Sjaan VandenBroeder: <\/p>\n

Always failing when aiming too high,
\nI was flailing with each futile try.
\nSo I set my sights lower,
\nAnd learned to go slower.
\nNow I\u2019m skillful at killing a fly.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Tim James: <\/p>\n

His pick-up lines just didn\u2019t fly.
\n\u201cYou\u2019re a pig!\u201d said the gal in reply,
\nThen got mad (who\u2019d have guessed?)
\nWhen he asked her in jest:
\n\u201cWould you like to come up to my sty?<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Robert Schechter:<\/p>\n

I swear that it wasn’t a lie
\nWhen I said I would not hurt a fly,
\nBut you, as you know,
\nAre a human, and so
\nPrepare, motherf*cker, to die.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

HONORABLE MENTIONS (BRAGGING-Themed LIMERICK DIVISION)<\/p>\n

Ken Gosse:<\/p>\n

While I stood in the checkout line, bragging,
\nThe speed of the line started dragging.
\nMy stories were bold,
\nBut were too often told.
\nThey begged me to \u201cPlease, finish bagging!\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Sue Dulley:<\/p>\n

I am old and I live on a pension;
\nI have few ways to get your attention.
\nSo permit me to say
\nIn a (non-)bragging way:
\nMad once gave me an hon’rable mention.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Rudy Landesman:<\/p>\n

My wife, not to brag, is just grand.
\nShe answers my every demand.
\nWhen we are in bed,
\nShe gives me great head
\nAnd does wonderful things with her hand.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Gennadiy Gurariy:<\/p>\n

When posting my profile on Bumble,
\nI\u2019m hoping that I didn\u2019t fumble
\nBy laying out raw
\nMy only grave flaw
\nOf being exceedingly humble.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Lisi Nortman Ardissone: (on Covid Rules)<\/p>\n

For the last two darn years, we have sat
\nAlone in our house or our flat.
\nLike we fell in a hole,
\nNever went near one soul.
\nNot to brag, but I’ve ALWAYS done that.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Sjaan VandenBroeder:<\/p>\n

About boasting, I needed advice,
\nAnd my minister said, \u201cIt\u2019s not nice.
\nYou like praise, and want more?
\nThat\u2019s what fun\u2019rals are for.\u201d
\nI guess bragging rites come with a price.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Tim James: <\/p>\n

At the bake-off we all heard her boast
\nThat the judges would like her bread most.
\nShe committed a goof
\nAnd her dough failed to proof \u2014
\nSo now it appears that she\u2019s toast.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Byron Miller:<\/p>\n

\u201cOnly I have the deal that you want,\u201d
\nSays the braggart with ego to flaunt,
\nBut I can\u2019t trust a guy
\nWith his hair piled up high
\nIn a puffed-up big bulbous bouffant.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.<\/p>\n

In the next couple of minutes I\u2019ll be posting a new Limerick-Off,<\/a> which gives you yet another opportunity to win the Limerick-Off Award.<\/p>\n

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter<\/a>. Thanks!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick-Off winners based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in the last Limerick-Off. Congratulations to GENNADIY GURARIY, who wins the Limerick-Off Award for this funny limerick: I once caught the flu from a fly Who flew on my pie from on high. I put down the coup […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[62,104,84,3270,1192,1983,65,42,103,64],"tags":[4003,2578,4465,5187,5691,4842,5009,5018,5144,2537,5446,5343,3369,3167,487,523],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/44555"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=44555"}],"version-history":[{"count":26,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/44555\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":44599,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/44555\/revisions\/44599"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=44555"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=44555"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=44555"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}