{"id":44336,"date":"2021-08-21T16:15:28","date_gmt":"2021-08-21T20:15:28","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/?p=44336"},"modified":"2021-08-21T16:27:44","modified_gmt":"2021-08-21T20:27:44","slug":"limerick-off-award-476","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/2021\/08\/21\/limerick-off-award-476\/","title":{"rendered":"Limerick-Off Award (476)"},"content":{"rendered":"

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick-Off winners based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in the last Limerick-Off.<\/a> <\/p>\n

Congratulations to TERRY MARTER, who wins the Limerick-Off Award for this funny limerick:<\/p>\n

\nA moll stole a stole; it’s a wrap,
\nWhich she sold to a girl with a chap.
\nBut the chap was a mole,
\nAnd the wrap the moll stole
\nWas set by the mole as a trap.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Congratulations to STEVE BENKO,<\/a> who wins the Special MOOD-Themed Limerick Award for this funny limerick:<\/p>\n

\u201cWhen I\u2019m angry I know what to do,\u201d
\nSaid Donald, \u201cto stop feeling blue.
\nI gather some friends
\nAnd some porn stars (all 10\u2019s),
\nAnd together we stage a nice coup.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Congratulations to BRIAN ALLGAR,<\/a> who wins the Facebook Friends’ Choice Award for this limerick which received the most Facebook “likes.”<\/p>\n

If there\u2019s one thing I can\u2019t stand, it\u2019s rap,
\nThat mindless, unmusical pap.
\nThe name would be better
\nWith one extra letter;
\nIt should be referred to as \u2018crap.\u2019<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Sondra Landin, Sjaan VandenBroeder, Bob Turvey, Dave Johnson, Lisi Nortman Ardissone, Tim James, Steve Benko,<\/a> Terry Marter, Doug Harris, Fred Bortz,<\/a> and Tony Holmes. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:<\/p>\n

HONORABLE MENTIONS (DOUBLE DUTY DIVISION: \u201cWRAP\/RAP\u201d RHYME LIMERICKS THAT ARE ALSO MOOD-THEMED LIMERICKS)<\/p>\n

Sondra Landin:<\/p>\n

Will she be in the mood for a wrap,
\nAt that place with the good brew on tap?
\nNo, she\u2019ll spout with a sneer,
\n\u201cI never touch beer,
\nAnd I don\u2019t eat that crap \u2013 not a scrap!\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

HONORABLE MENTIONS (“WRAP\/RAP”-Rhyme DIVISION)<\/p>\n

Sjaan VandenBroeder: <\/p>\n

With a beat and a stomp and a clap,
\n\u201cWe Will Rock You\u201d went wild in a snap.
\nAlthough what\u2019s it all mean,
\nIf God can\u2019t save the Queen,
\nWho created Bohemian Rhap?<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Bob Turvey: <\/p>\n

When a well-dressed and handsome young chap,
\nOn the privy door gave a sharp rap,
\nIt opened, and Jane
\nSaid, \u201cGod, you again.
\nCan\u2019t a girl have some peace for a nap?\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Dave Johnson: <\/p>\n

Trump\u2019s MAGA brigade has a chap
\nWho\u2019s busy producing a cap.
\nIt\u2019s silver, not red,
\nThat\u2019s adorning each head…
\nWith Reynolds providing the Wrap.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Lisi Nortman: <\/p>\n

\n\u201cI am too old to get into rap.
\nI don\u2019t care, cause that hip-hop is crap.
\nUsed to party and drink.
\nAt the girls, I would wink.
\nBut right now \u201cHappy Hour\u2019s\u201d a nap.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Tim James: <\/p>\n

She was wearing a nice dress and wrap
\nWhen her man went and set off a scrap:
\n\u201cAn ensemble like that
\nMakes your butt look less fat!\u201d
\nNow he\u2019s learned to shut firmly his yap.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Steve Benko: <\/p>\n

I\u2019m Notorious Steve, here\u2019s my rap:
\nI love strippers who dance in my lap.
\nI entice \u2019em with verse,
\nAnd my poems are terse;
\nJust five lines, then I grab, and they slap.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Sjaan VandenBroeder: <\/p>\n

Poe would clap o\u2019er his ears a wool cap,
\nWhen his nerd of a bird spoiled his nap.
\n\u201cIn my haven, old raven,
\nYou crave misbehavin\u2019,
\nBut jeez,\u201d he cried, \u201cPLEASE! No more rap!\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Terry Marter:<\/p>\n

A detective with questions to ask,
\nSaid “Do NOT interfere with my task.
\nYou\u2019ve been caught, cut the crap.
\nYou\u2019ll be taking the rap
\nFor robbing a bank with no mask.”<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

HONORABLE MENTIONS (MOOD-Themed LIMERICK DIVISION) <\/p>\n

Doug Harris: <\/p>\n

\u201cHey my darling, are you in the mood?
\nTestosterone fully imbued?\u201d
\n\u201cYes I am!,\u201d my reply…
\n\u201cHow I love D-I-Y,
\nThe best way for a man to get screwed!\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Tim James: <\/p>\n

There once was a lawyer named Rudy
\nWhose cash flow was making him moody.
\n\u201cLord Trump, it\u2019s no joke;
\nPay my fees or I\u2019m broke!\u201d
\nThe reply: \u201cStick those bills up your booty!\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Terry Marter: <\/p>\n

Now sometimes, when I\u2019m in the mood
\nI do life-drawing class (I\u2019m no prude).
\nBut the model looks stressed
\nFully dressed, – unimpressed
\nThat I choose to paint HIM while I\u2019m nude.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Sjaan VandenBroeder:<\/p>\n

Though my mood ring is now an antique,
\nI still wear it (my friends say it\u2019s chic.)
\nThat the color each day
\nIs primarily gray,
\nSimply means I\u2019m approaching my pique.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Fred Bortz:<\/p>\n

The farmer deserves to be booed.
\nHis dairy production is crude.
\nHis yogurt tastes funky.
\nHis milk pours out chunky.
\nAnd his cattle sound off their bad mooed.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Terry Marter: <\/p>\n

She had set up the room for her Tim;
\nMoody music, – romantic\u2019ly dim.
\nThen got stoned in the nude,
\nWoke up with some dude
\nWho said \u201cTim couldn\u2019t make it , – I\u2019m Jim.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Tony Holmes:<\/p>\n

I\u2019ve been tossed on the scrapheap of life.
\nLost it all \u2013 favour, fortune, and wife.
\nBut what brightens my mood,
\nShould depression intrude,
\nIs the thought that misfortune is rife.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Sjaan VandenBroeder: <\/p>\n

When egged on to be snotty or mean,
\nA good mood helps me keep my nose clean.
\nLeft with egg on my face,
\nIs a tacky disgrace,
\nBut less messy than venting my spleen.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.<\/p>\n

In the next couple of minutes I\u2019ll be posting a new Limerick-Off,<\/a> which gives you yet another opportunity to win the Limerick-Off Award.<\/p>\n

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter<\/a>. Thanks!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick-Off winners based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in the last Limerick-Off. Congratulations to TERRY MARTER, who wins the Limerick-Off Award for this funny limerick: A moll stole a stole; it’s a wrap, Which she sold to a girl with a chap. But the chap was […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[62,104,84,3270,1192,1983,65,42,103,64],"tags":[5401,4003,4465,3362,3523,5009,5018,5144,5343,5447,5080,5407,3167,5145,487,523],"class_list":["post-44336","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-contests","category-limerick-haiku-seeds","category-limerick-award-winners","category-limerick-competition","category-limerick-contest","category-limerick-of-the-week","category-limerick-writing-contest","category-limericks","category-poetry-prompts","category-poetry-contest","tag-bob-turvey","tag-brian-allgar","tag-dave-johnson","tag-doug-harris","tag-fred-bortz","tag-limerick-contest","tag-limerick-of-the-week","tag-lisi-nortman-ardissone","tag-sjaan-vandenbroeder","tag-sondra-landin","tag-steve-benko","tag-terry-marter","tag-tim-james","tag-tony-holmes","tag-writing-competitions","tag-writing-contest"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/44336","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=44336"}],"version-history":[{"count":29,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/44336\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":44396,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/44336\/revisions\/44396"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=44336"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=44336"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=44336"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}