{"id":44181,"date":"2021-07-24T16:42:49","date_gmt":"2021-07-24T20:42:49","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/?p=44181"},"modified":"2021-07-24T16:54:31","modified_gmt":"2021-07-24T20:54:31","slug":"limerick-off-award-474","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/2021\/07\/24\/limerick-off-award-474\/","title":{"rendered":"Limerick-Off Award (474)"},"content":{"rendered":"

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick-Off winners based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in the last Limerick-Off.<\/a> <\/p>\n

Congratulations to MARK TOTTERDELL,<\/a> who wins the Limerick-Off Award for this funny limerick, which is both a Tail-Rhyme and a Vanity-Themed limerick:<\/p>\n

\nThough he thought he had style and urbanity,
\nHugh\u2019s bid for success was all vanity.
\nWith broad flippers and tail
\nAnd wet whiskers, he\u2019d fail.
\nHow I wept for the fate of Hugh Manatee!<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Congratulations to LISI NORTMAN ARDISSONE, who wins the Special VANITY-Themed Limerick Award for this funny “Soprano Vanity” limerick:<\/p>\n

Most op\u2019ra performers agree
\nThat it\u2019s hard to sustain a \u201cHigh C.\u201d
\nIn the great tragic \u201cNorma\u201d
\nThe star will perform a
\nDry run of a \u201cme me me me.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Tim James, Bob Slapcoff, John Davison, Sjaan VandenBroeder, David Friedman, Bob Turvey, Sondra Landin, Terry Marter, Tony Holmes, Lisi Nortman Ardissone, Dave Johnson, Steve Benko,<\/a> and Rudy Landesman. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:<\/p>\n

HONORABLE MENTIONS (DOUBLE DUTY DIVISION: \u201cTALE OR TAIL OR ENTAIL OR CURTAIL\u201d RHYME LIMERICKS THAT ARE ALSO VANITY LIMERICKS)<\/p>\n

Bob Slapcoff:<\/p>\n

A peacock parading his tail,
\nOr a gaudily carapaced snail;
\nI\u2019ll emulate these
\nWith bravado and ease,
\nAs soon as I get out of jail.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

HONORABLE MENTIONS (“TALE OR TAIL OR ENTAIL OR CURTAIL”-Rhyme DIVISION)<\/p>\n

Tim James:<\/p>\n

The Lone Ranger (so goes a tall tale)
\nSaw some Natives and let out a wail:
\n\u201cThey\u2019re all hostile! We\u2019re dead!\u201d
\nTonto grinned as he said:
\n\u201cWhat\u2019s this \u2018we,\u2019 you with face that is pale?\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

John Davison:<\/p>\n

Whilst out for a walk with my snail
\nWe dined on fresh cabbage and kale,
\nBut when the rain fell
\nHe just hid in his shell,
\nThus precluding a riveting tale.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Sjaan VandenBroeder:<\/p>\n

One tale of a tail might entail,
\nA PI with some guy to surveil;
\nAdd a shade of film noir
\nTo a steamy boudoir,
\nPlus a dame for Mike Hammer to nail.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

David Friedman:<\/p>\n

There once was a Chief of Police
\nWho tried to spread love, joy, and peace\u2026
\nIf you buy that tale,
\nI\u2019ve swampland for sale
\nAnd several golden egg geese.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Bob Turvey:<\/p>\n

Said a languid young freshman at Yale,
\n\u201cTarget shooting \u2013 what does that entail?\u201d
\nSaid a Prof., \u201cWell now son,
\nYou are given a gun,
\nIf you kill anyone \u2013 that\u2019s a fail.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Sondra Landin: <\/p>\n

Plot ideas come pelting like hail;
\nI try to corral them — and fail.
\nI rail and I wail
\nTo no great avail;
\nJust can\u2019t seem to finish my tale.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Sjaan VandenBroeder:<\/p>\n

Ev\u2019ry night Mack, the Manx, starts to wail
\nA long saga of loss and travail.
\nThen the end is cut short,
\nAnd he stops with a snort.
\nSeems that Mack has lost track of his tale.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Tim James:<\/p>\n

Said a drunk who was headed to jail:
\n\u201cHey! Her Honor\u2019s a nice piece of tail!\u201d
\nIt\u2019s a shame that she heard
\nEv\u2019ry odious word;
\nNow he\u2019s looking at REALLY high bail.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

HONORABLE MENTIONS (VANITY-Themed LIMERICK DIVISION)<\/p>\n

Terry Marter:<\/p>\n

He reflects at the pool where he\u2019s lying.
\nHe\u2019s in love with himself (can\u2019t stop sighing) —
\nThe youthful Narcissus
\nWith no loving Missus
\nTo prevent him from tragic\u2019ly dying.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Tony Holmes:<\/p>\n

Only vanity mirrors are kind,
\nAs they don\u2019t show the truth but remind
\nOf those days sans chagrin \u2013
\nYou had only one chin \u2013
\nAnd your features were taut and unlined.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Lisi Nortman:<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m not showy in any which way.
\nAnd I never put on a display.
\nBut ev\u2019ry one tries
\nTo spread nasty lies,
\nCuz I\u2019m much more alluring than they.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Tim James:<\/p>\n

A Captain whose name is James Kirk
\nIs an egomaniacal jerk.
\nHe\u2019s God\u2019s gift to the dames.
\nStill, the sexual games
\nThat he tries indisputably work.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Terry Marter:<\/p>\n

She was vain, sexy, slinky and sleek.
\nOn her \u201clook\u201d she spent almost a week.
\nThen she dated a lout
\nWho did not beat about
\nThe proverbial bush (so to speak.)<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Tim James: <\/p>\n

If to beauty I want to be nearer,
\nThe path couldn\u2019t be any clearer.
\nI\u2019m under its spell
\n(You can probably tell)
\nWhen I gaze, quite bewitched, in the mirror.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Dave Johnson:<\/p>\n

Trump\u2019s dinnerware \u2013 always first-rate;
\nWith one special feature that\u2019s great.
\n\u2019Tween steak and some peas,
\nHis reflection he sees
\nIn that BEAUTIFUL vanity plate!<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Steve Benko:<\/p>\n

With my talent, square jaw, and strong chin,
\nIt is I who these contests should win.
\nOnce MadKane takes a look,
\nEvery other poor schnook
\nWho submits will become a has-been.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Rudy Landesman:<\/p>\n

My need to make love was perennial.
\nBut now as I reach my centennial,
\nI will not complain.
\nI can\u2019t be that vain.
\nI\u2019m glad that it still is biennial.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Sjaan VandenBroeder:<\/p>\n

If a woman with beauty that\u2019s lush
\nLikes to tally the hearts she can crush,
\nWhen it seems there\u2019s a trace
\nOf chagrin on her face,
\nIt\u2019s her makeup providing the blush.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.<\/p>\n

In the next couple of minutes I\u2019ll be posting a new Limerick-Off,<\/a> which gives you yet another opportunity to win the Limerick-Off Award.<\/p>\n

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter<\/a>. Thanks!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick-Off winners based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in the last Limerick-Off. Congratulations to MARK TOTTERDELL, who wins the Limerick-Off Award for this funny limerick, which is both a Tail-Rhyme and a Vanity-Themed limerick: Though he thought he had style and urbanity, Hugh\u2019s bid for success […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[62,104,84,3270,1192,1983,65,42,103,64],"tags":[5556,5401,4465,5187,5555,5009,5018,5144,5463,5446,5343,5447,5080,5407,3167,5145,487,523],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/44181"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=44181"}],"version-history":[{"count":26,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/44181\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":44240,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/44181\/revisions\/44240"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=44181"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=44181"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=44181"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}