{"id":44108,"date":"2021-07-10T16:06:38","date_gmt":"2021-07-10T20:06:38","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/?p=44108"},"modified":"2021-07-10T16:17:17","modified_gmt":"2021-07-10T20:17:17","slug":"limerick-off-award-473","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/2021\/07\/10\/limerick-off-award-473\/","title":{"rendered":"Limerick-Off Award (473)"},"content":{"rendered":"

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick-Off winners based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in the last Limerick-Off.<\/a> <\/p>\n

Congratulations to SJAAN VANDENBROEDER, who wins the Limerick-Off Award for this funny limerick:<\/p>\n

I\u2019m so square, I get dizzy on gin \u2014
\nJust one round and my head starts to spin.
\nThen I circle about,
\nQuite obtusely, no doubt,
\nWond\u2019ring what kind of shape I am in.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Congratulations to TIM JAMES, who wins the Special ETIQUETTE-Themed Limerick Award for this funny limerick, which is also a Spin-Rhyme limerick:<\/p>\n

Tim James: <\/p>\n

Here\u2019s some dating advice with no spin:
\nTreat the gal with respect, and you win!
\nBuy her choc\u2019late and bling.
\nOh, there\u2019s one final thing:
\nJust make sure that she isn\u2019t your kin.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Sjaan VandenBroeder, Daisy Hyrkas, Lisi Nortman Ardissone, Sue Dulley, Doug Harris, Terry Marter, Rudy Landesman, Steve Benko,<\/a> Tim James, Jean McEwen, Sondra Landin, Roger Haugen, and Tony Holmes. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:<\/p>\n

HONORABLE MENTIONS (DOUBLE DUTY DIVISION: \u201cSPIN\u201d RHYME LIMERICKS THAT ARE ALSO ETIQUETTE LIMERICKS)<\/p>\n

Sjaan VandenBroeder:<\/p>\n

After eating his kith and his kin,
\nSweeney asked Mrs. L for her spin
\nOn the practice of such.
\nShe said, \u201cDon\u2019t eat too much,
\nBecause gluttony, luv, is a sin.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Daisy Hyrkas:<\/p>\n

I drank a small bathtub of gin
\nAnd felt my head starting to spin.
\nI got a rebuke
\nCuz Mom saw me puke
\nTwo steps before I reached the bin.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

HONORABLE MENTIONS (“SPIN”-Rhyme DIVISION)<\/p>\n

Lisi Nortman Ardissone: <\/p>\n

When a college boy gave you his “pin,”
\nYou went into a jubilant spin.
\nSo un-worldly were we,
\nWe just didn’t foresee
\nThat the pin was a pass to get in.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Sue Dulley:<\/p>\n

I can’t wait for my life to begin.
\nMom’s a skater, and with ev’ry spin
\nI get dizzy; I groan
\nTo myself all alone –
\nIf I had one, I’d moan to my twin.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Doug Harris:<\/p>\n

I dated a ballet brunette.
\nDrove me wild did that lissome coquette.
\nWhen I said, \u201cPlease jump in
\nAnd let\u2019s go for a spin,\u201d
\nShe surprised with a long pirouette.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Terry Marter:<\/p>\n

So what kind of guilt-laden spin
\nIs this bullshit, \u2013 Original Sin?
\nWe fools should believe
\nIt\u2019s from Adam and Eve?
\nIt’s a \u2018Cult\u2019 that I\u2019m glad I\u2019m not in.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Rudy Landesman:<\/p>\n

Cole Porter and Irving Berlin.
\nAnd Gershwin? Let\u2019s do throw him in.
\nThese guys were prolific.
\nTheir songs were terrific.
\nTo count them would make your head spin.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Steve Benko:<\/p>\n

\u201cThis indictment\u2019s a kick in the shin,
\nAnd I can\u2019t get a pardon like Flynn,\u201d
\nGroaned Weisselberg. \u201cAllen,\u201d
\nSaid Trump, \u201cHere\u2019s a gallon
\nOf bullshit to give it good spin.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Tim James:<\/p>\n

A guy took a gal for a spin.
\nThey parked, and committed a sin.
\nThen the car wouldn\u2019t start,
\nSo she fixed it. (She\u2019s smart.)
\nShe puts out and knows autos? Win-win!<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

HONORABLE MENTIONS (ETIQUETTE-Themed LIMERICK DIVISION)<\/p>\n

Daisy Hyrkas:<\/p>\n

My father is groping my ma.
\nIn public! It’s quite the faux pas.
\nBut my mom acts no better;
\nShe whips off her sweater
\nAnd leashes his neck with her bra.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Terry Marter:<\/p>\n

My opinion is Doc you\u2019ve got guts,
\nIf you think that with no ifs or buts,
\nYou can check out my glands
\nWith your freezing cold hands.
\nThe price of such folly? Your Nuts!<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Lisi Nortman:<\/p>\n

\u201cNow listen here, know-it-all chap:
\nI\u2019ve deaf ears to your old-fashioned crap!
\nAt 90 years old,
\nI\u2019m feelin\u2019 real bold,
\nAnd will NOT fold my hands on my lap.”<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Jean McEwen:<\/p>\n

When dining with others, please chew,
\nAnd then swallow your food before you
\nTry to talk prematurely,
\n\u2019Cause otherwise, surely,
\nYou\u2019ll spray those around you with goo.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Sjaan VandenBroeder:<\/p>\n

With proboscis upturned she will pace,
\nAs she sniffs with disdain at my place.
\nActing snooty (it stinks),
\nIt\u2019s her duty (she thinks).
\nIt\u2019s as plain as the nose on her face.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Tim James:<\/p>\n

I used to let people incite me;
\nI\u2019d yell and invite them to fight me.
\nGood manners I learned
\nFrom the beat-downs I earned.
\nNow I calmly tell folks just to bite me.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Sondra Landin:<\/p>\n

\u2019Twas a must-attend \u2018manners\u2019 oration,
\nWith dull discourse and scant information.
\nBut then we could chug
\nChampagne from a mug!
\nThat \u2018manner\u2019 sparked much jubilation!<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Roger Haugen:<\/p>\n

A blooming but bashful coquette
\nBit into a luscious baguette;
\nThe roll was so sweet,
\nShe barfed on her feet.
\nA societal queen? Not just yet.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Lisi Nortman Ardissone:<\/p>\n

“Darling daughter, you must act with grace.
\nKeep a sweet, pleasant smile on your face.
\nUse a tissue to sneeze.
\nSay ‘thank you’ and ‘please.'”
\n“Thank you, Mama. Please get off my case!”<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Tony Holmes:<\/p>\n

In the etiquette stakes meine frau
\nHas the lead by a nose. This is how:
\nWhen in flatulent mode,
\nShe will clench, as per code,
\nThen discreetly release as a sough.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Steve Benko:<\/p>\n

Amy Vanderbilt once made a rule
\nThat a gentleman never should drool.
\nBut where topless girls prance
\nOn the beaches of France,
\nTo enforce it would surely be cruel.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.<\/p>\n

In the next couple of minutes I\u2019ll be posting a new Limerick-Off,<\/a> which gives you yet another opportunity to win the Limerick-Off Award.<\/p>\n

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter<\/a>. Thanks!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick-Off winners based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in the last Limerick-Off. Congratulations to SJAAN VANDENBROEDER, who wins the Limerick-Off Award for this funny limerick: I\u2019m so square, I get dizzy on gin \u2014 Just one round and my head starts to spin. Then I circle […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[62,104,84,3270,1192,1983,65,42,103,64],"tags":[5342,3362,5106,5009,5018,5144,5239,5446,5343,5447,5080,3369,5407,3167,5145,487,523],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/44108"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=44108"}],"version-history":[{"count":38,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/44108\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":44178,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/44108\/revisions\/44178"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=44108"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=44108"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=44108"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}