{"id":43865,"date":"2021-05-01T16:19:00","date_gmt":"2021-05-01T20:19:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/?p=43865"},"modified":"2021-05-01T16:31:21","modified_gmt":"2021-05-01T20:31:21","slug":"limerick-off-award-468","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/2021\/05\/01\/limerick-off-award-468\/","title":{"rendered":"Limerick-Off Award (468)"},"content":{"rendered":"

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick-Off winners based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in the last Limerick-Off.<\/a> <\/p>\n

Congratulations to LISI NORTMAN ARDISSONE, who wins the Limerick-Off Award for this funny limerick:<\/p>\n

Although gone, she was strangely alert.
\nStill a nudge, even under the dirt.
\nRight there at her plot,
\nA voice said, “Do not
\nCome visit me wearing that shirt.”<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Congratulations to TERRY MARTER, who wins the Special DRONES-Themed Limerick Award for this funny limerick:<\/p>\n

Robbers looting two royalty zones
\n(Later caught by police using drones)
\nTried to hide their hot gear
\nIn a hothouse. It\u2019s clear! –
\nThieves in glass houses shouldn\u2019t stow thrones.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Dave Johnson, Sjaan VandenBroeder, Jean McEwen, Rudy Landesman, Lisi Nortman Ardissone, Tony Holmes, Terry Marter, Clay Wild, Tim James, Kirk Miller, Mark Totterdell,<\/a> and Neil Greenberg. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:<\/p>\n

HONORABLE MENTIONS (DOUBLE DUTY DIVISION: \u201cPLOT\u201d RHYME LIMERICKS THAT ARE ALSO DRONE LIMERICKS)<\/p>\n

Dave Johnson: <\/p>\n

The part of the beach that was sought,
\nWould hide them from view, so they thought.
\nBut during their tryst,
\nCame a drone through the mist;
\nIts lenses unraveled their plot.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

HONORABLE MENTIONS (“PLOT” RHYME DIVISION)<\/p>\n

Sjaan VandenBroeder:<\/p>\n

Said a hack on creating a plot:
\n\u201cI put into my work all I\u2019ve got.
\nWhen it starts to mature,
\nThen I add more manure.
\nAnd that\u2019s how I come up with this rot.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Jean McEwen: <\/p>\n

The clots some folks got from the shot
\nHave hit only a few \u2013 not a lot.
\nYet some dopes – their views aided
\nBy Fox – are persuaded
\nThe shot is some Faucian plot.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Tony Holmes: <\/p>\n

\nAt the junction, the cause for delay
\nRushed right past us, and anger held sway.
\n\u201cIt\u2019s a mob.\u201d \u201cThat\u2019s a lot!\u201d
\n\u201cAnd they\u2019ve all lost the plot \u2013
\nAt the moment, they\u2019ve riot of way.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Rudy Landesman: <\/p>\n

Apples fall off a tree quite a lot,
\nAnd gravity\u2019s in on the plot.
\nSo, there\u2019s little disputin\u2019:
\nIt WAS Isaac Newton
\nConcocting that sauce sold by Mott.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Lisi Nortman: <\/p>\n

Mr. Hokey H. Pokey would shout:
\n\u201cHey, gravediggers, what\u2019s this about?
\nI\u2019m here in a plot,
\nIt can\u2019t be the right spot.
\nCuz my left foot is still stickin\u2019 out.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Tony Holmes: <\/p>\n

\u201cBoy meets girl has been done. We need plot!\u201d
\n\u201cWhat if boy loves girl\u2019s mum, cos she\u2019s hot?
\nThen the father, ignored,
\nKills them all cos he\u2019s bored\u2014\u201d
\n\u201cOkay, now I\u2019m on board\u2014\u201d \u201cThen gets shot?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s too tame. You were doing so well.
\nSex and murder, all great. That will sell.
\nBut the ending \u2013 it\u2019s lame.
\nTry again \u2013 up your game.\u201d
\n\u201cHe\u2019s redeemed by a vision of hell.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Terry Marter:<\/p>\n

Storm at sea wrecked our charts, – took the lot;
\nBlown away, fair to say \u201clost the plot.\u201d
\nNow we\u2019re in a fine mess;
\nWe must send SOS:
\nDot dot DOT, dash dash DASH, dot dot DOT.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Clay Wild:<\/p>\n

Fragile campers in woods, deep and dense
\nWolves and grizzlies and greed, self-defense
\nMurder myst\u2019ry the plot
\nTwists and turns, like a knot
\nSafe to say, story line was \u2018in tents\u2019!<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Tim James, who offers his “apologies to Mr. Shakespeare:” <\/p>\n

Hamlet\u2019s reading a book that he got \u2014
\nWhich he says he\u2019s enjoying a lot \u2014
\nAbout Yorick, alas!
\nAs a read, it\u2019s first-class
\nAnd he really is digging the plot.<\/p>\n

Ms. Macbeth was the wife of a Scot
\nWho contrived a nefarious plot
\nTo kill Duncan, the king.
\nHer dog saw the whole thing.
\n\u201cYou\u2019re a BAD dog!\u201d she said. \u201cOut, damned Spot!\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

HONORABLE MENTIONS (DRONE LIMERICK DIVISION)<\/p>\n

Kirk Miller:<\/p>\n

Toy store owners are asking themselves
\nAbout drones, so each one of them delves
\nInto records of sales,
\nAnd the trend that prevails
\nIs that drones have been flying off shelves.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Tim James:<\/p>\n

Could your local delivery guy
\nBe replaced by a thing that can fly?
\nMight you order by phone
\nPizza drop-off by drone?
\nI think not. That\u2019s just pie in the sky.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Rudy Landesman:<\/p>\n

A mother right down to the bone,
\nShe\u2019d lecture, she\u2019d scold, and she\u2019d drone.
\nShe called ev’ry day
\nAnd then passed away.
\nHer grave, she regrets, has no phone.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Sjaan VandenBroeder:<\/p>\n

I\u2019ve relinquished the Edsel I own,
\nIn exchange for a nice, compact drone.
\nWarn the Regs, \u201cFLY UNMANNED!\u201d
\nWhich is what I have planned.
\nThey say nothing about an old crone.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Jean McEwen:<\/p>\n

The dullards I work with – such bores!
\nAll their monotone rants about chores
\nLike their timesheets, their filing
\nAnd in-boxes piling
\nInduce in me nothing but snores!<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Mark Totterdell: <\/p>\n

The queen, that most key of all key bees,
\nCommands a whole army of she-bees
\nWho do all the work,
\nWhile the drones, who just shirk
\nAnd have sex are, you\u2019ve guessed it, the he-bees.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Neil Greenberg:<\/p>\n

There\u2019s hardly a sound that is known
\nTo bedevil us down to the bone
\nLike the buzz overhead
\nThat fills me with dread:
\nDie and dissipate, damnable drone!<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.<\/p>\n

In the next couple of minutes I\u2019ll be posting a new Limerick-Off,<\/a> which gives you yet another opportunity to win the Limerick-Off Award.<\/p>\n

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter<\/a>. Thanks!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick-Off winners based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in the last Limerick-Off. Congratulations to LISI NORTMAN ARDISSONE, who wins the Limerick-Off Award for this funny limerick: Although gone, she was strangely alert. Still a nudge, even under the dirt. Right there at her plot, A voice […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[62,104,84,3270,1192,1983,65,42,103,64],"tags":[5461,4465,5106,3284,5009,5018,5144,5463,5484,5446,5343,5407,3167,5145,487,523],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/43865"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=43865"}],"version-history":[{"count":30,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/43865\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":43909,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/43865\/revisions\/43909"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=43865"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=43865"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=43865"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}