{"id":43483,"date":"2021-01-02T17:29:10","date_gmt":"2021-01-02T21:29:10","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/?p=43483"},"modified":"2021-01-02T18:22:20","modified_gmt":"2021-01-02T22:22:20","slug":"limerick-off-award-460","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/2021\/01\/02\/limerick-off-award-460\/","title":{"rendered":"Limerick-Off Award (460)"},"content":{"rendered":"

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick-Off winners based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in the last Limerick-Off.<\/a> <\/p>\n

Congratulations to SJAAN VANDENBROEDER, who wins the Limerick-Off Award for this funny limerick:<\/p>\n

I just giggle at gaggles of geese,
\nAnd find slithers of snakes mere caprice;
\nBut if you produce moose
\nToo profuse \u2014 running loose \u2014
\nI will shriek, \u201cHelp! Police! We\u2019ve got meese!\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Congratulations to TIM JAMES, who wins the Special ART-Themed Limerick Award for this funny limerick:<\/p>\n

\nA photographer said, \u201cWhile it\u2019s true
\nI take pictures of folks as they screw,
\nIt\u2019s a form of pure art.
\nIt shows love, warmth, and heart.\u201d
\nYeah, my lim\u2019ricks are \u201cpoetry,\u201d too.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Tony Holmes, Brian Allgar,<\/a> Sjaan VandenBroeder, Tim James, Sue Dulley, Paul Haebig, Byron Miller, Fred Bortz,<\/a> Roger Haugen, Kirk Miller, Dave Johnson, and Terry Marter. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:<\/p>\n

HONORABLE MENTIONS (DOUBLE DUTY DIVISION: \u201cMOUSSE or MOOSE or VAMOOSE\u201d RHYME LIMERICKS THAT ARE ALSO ART LIMERICKS)<\/p>\n

Tony Holmes:<\/p>\n

When the world closes in, I vamoose
\nAnd take refuge. Surrounded by spruce,
\nI reflect on my art
\nTill it\u2019s time to depart,
\nAs I\u2019m only a part-time recluse.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

HONORABLE MENTIONS (“MOUSSE or MOOSE or VAMOOSE” RHYME DIVISION)<\/p>\n

Brian Allgar:<\/p>\n

After tests, Donald\u2019s doctors deduce
\nThere\u2019s a brain, but it isn\u2019t much use.
\nFrom the scan, they surmise
\nIt\u2019s the color and size
\nOf a teaspoon of chocolate mousse.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Sjaan VandenBroeder:<\/p>\n

For those lovers of custard out there,
\nHere\u2019s a dieting tip I must share:
\nIf you fear too much mousse
\nMay enlarge your caboose,
\nEat just half. Put the rest in your hair.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Tim James:<\/p>\n

Her hair was long, lovely, and loose;
\nThen she teased it and slicked it with mousse.
\nThe new \u2019do, sad to say,
\nDrove her boyfriend away.
\nPerhaps \u2019twas the color: chartreuse.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Sue Dulley:<\/p>\n

I have stopped using hairspray and mousse.
\nThey never were very much use.
\nMy hair is unruly,
\nBut really and truly
\nWho cares, since I’m now a recluse.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Paul Haebig:<\/p>\n

This kitchen! There\u2019s nothing of use!
\nI wanted to make choc’late mousse.
\nAnd I really was keen
\nTo cook some tagine,
\nBut there\u2019s only enough to make cous.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Byron Miller:<\/p>\n

\u201cNeed a bull who fits tightly, not loose,\u201d
\nSighs a cow in the mood for a goose.
\nThinking kosher \u2013 no hoods,
\nShe traverses the woods
\nOn her search for a certain-sized moose.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Fred Bortz:<\/p>\n

He called her \u201cMy precious papoose.\u201d
\nShe laughed and replied, \u201cSilly goose.\u201d
\nBut romance went awry.
\nWhen they snuggled, the guy
\nGot so hot that he smelled like a moose.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Roger Haugen:<\/p>\n

He tried and he tried, but no use —
\n\u201cI can\u2019t finish this great Christmas goose.\u201d
\nBut a little dessert
\nHe thought wouldn\u2019t hurt,
\nAs he plowed through his third choc’late mousse.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Brian Allgar:<\/p>\n

They\u2019d gone hunting, but due to disuse,
\nEric\u2019s grip on the trigger was loose,
\nAnd he shot brother Don,
\nWho\u2019s now mounted upon
\nA gold plaque that was meant for a moose.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

HONORABLE MENTIONS (ART LIMERICK DIVISION)<\/p>\n

Sjaan VandenBroeder:<\/p>\n

Andy Warhol, the Campbell Soup man,
\nProduced pop-art peeved pundits would pan:
\n\u201cIt won\u2019t pass!\u201d “It\u2019s absurd!\u201d
\n\u201cHe\u2019s so crass!\u201d They concurred.
\nStill, he wouldn\u2019t stop painting his can.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Fred Bortz:<\/p>\n

A critic who hates bold abstraction
\nExpresses his dissatisfaction:
\n\u201cYou\u2019d have to be bollocks
\nTo say Jackson Pollocks
\nDisplay a deliberate action.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Kirk Miller:<\/p>\n

When the art teacher did a critique
\nOf my work, my art future looked bleak.
\nAnd I listened with dread
\nWhen the art teacher said
\nTo brush up on my painting technique.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Dave Johnson:<\/p>\n

Bill\u2019s stint \u2013 posing naked for art
\nGot off to a glorious start
\nWhen he debuted his ass
\nAt the newly-filled class
\nBy launching a tear-gassing fart.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Terry Marter, for his “Performance Art”<\/p>\n

A performer we went out to see,
\nHurled a boom’rang past row 43.
\nHe said \u201cWill it come back?\u201d
\nA big guy at the back
\nYelled \u201cIt Will if it Fuckin\u2019 hits ME!\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.<\/p>\n

In the next couple of minutes I\u2019ll be posting a new Limerick-Off,<\/a> which gives you yet another opportunity to win the Limerick-Off Award.<\/p>\n

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter<\/a>. Thanks!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick-Off winners based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in the last Limerick-Off. Congratulations to SJAAN VANDENBROEDER, who wins the Limerick-Off Award for this funny limerick: I just giggle at gaggles of geese, And find slithers of snakes mere caprice; But if you produce moose Too profuse […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[62,104,84,3270,1983,65,42,103],"tags":[4003,2578,4465,3523,3284,5009,5018,5399,5239,5343,3369,5407,3167,5145,487,523],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/43483"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=43483"}],"version-history":[{"count":32,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/43483\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":43522,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/43483\/revisions\/43522"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=43483"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=43483"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=43483"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}