{"id":43276,"date":"2020-10-24T19:09:27","date_gmt":"2020-10-24T23:09:27","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/?p=43276"},"modified":"2020-10-24T19:19:56","modified_gmt":"2020-10-24T23:19:56","slug":"limerick-off-award-455","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/2020\/10\/24\/limerick-off-award-455\/","title":{"rendered":"Limerick-Off Award (455)"},"content":{"rendered":"

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick-Off winners based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in the last Limerick-Off.<\/a><\/p>\n

Congratulations to KONRAD SCHWOERKE, who wins the Limerick-Off Award for this funny limerick:<\/p>\n

While shopping for clothes, be astute.
\nIt\u2019s for work, so not overly cute.
\nGeez, that jacket\u2019s a sack!
\nPlease don\u2019t pick off the rack\u2014
\nAll you\u2019ll find is some low-hanging suit.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Congratulations to TIM JAMES, who wins the Special NEIGHBOR-Themed Limerick Award for this funny limerick:<\/p>\n

I\u2019ve a house in the country. Out there,
\nI have quiet, clear skies, and fresh air.
\nBut it isn\u2019t all nice.
\nI found out there\u2019s a price
\nWhen my neighbor got et by a bear.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Tony Holmes, Brian Allgar,<\/a> Sjaan VandenBroeder, Paul Haebig, Lisi Nortman Ardissone, Tim James, Jean McEwen, Dave Johnson, and Konrad Schwoerke. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:<\/p>\n

HONORABLE MENTIONS (DOUBLE DUTY DIVISION: \u201cSUIT\/PURSUIT\u201d RHYME LIMERICKS THAT ARE ALSO NEIGHBOR LIMERICKS)<\/p>\n

Tony Holmes:<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, dear neighbour, I think you can tell
\nIt\u2019s been good fun to visit a spell.
\nBut like every pursuit,
\nBrief is best, lest its fruit
\nShould turn bitter. I bid you farewell!\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Brian Allgar:<\/p>\n

I\u2019m engaged in a lustful pursuit
\nOf my neighbor, who\u2019s temptingly cute.
\nSo I long for the day
\nWhen her husband\u2019s away;
\n\u201cLove thy neighbor\u201d \u2013 the Bible\u2019s my route!<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Sjaan VandenBroeder:<\/p>\n

Get a cauldron that\u2019s really top notch;
\nAdd some gin and six bottles of scotch,
\nToe of frog, eye of newt \u2014
\nIt\u2019s a charm that should suit
\nWhen you\u2019re out there on Neighborhood Watch.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

HONORABLE MENTIONS (“SUIT\/PURSUIT” RHYME DIVISION)<\/p>\n

Paul Haebig:<\/p>\n

Long after our water was poured
\nThe waiter appeared, looking bored.
\n“I can tell by your suit
\nThe specials are moot;
\nThere’s nothing that you could afford.”<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Brian Allgar:<\/p>\n

\u201cThey call me a crook and a brute,
\nBut it seems that they don\u2019t give a hoot
\nFor Obama\u2019s great crime \u2013
\nThe guy should do time
\nFor wearing that tan-colored suit!”<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Lisi Nortman Ardissone:<\/p>\n

All I want is a guy who is cute.
\nI don’t care if he’s nice or astute.
\nYet my mom knows a lot
\nAnd she said I should not
\nContinue this triv’yal pursuit.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Tony Holmes:<\/p>\n

It is best, when preparing good food,
\nNot to do so when tiddly and nude.
\nQuite apart from the fruit
\nLeaving stains on your \u2018suit,\u2019
\nYou\u2019ll have guests who\u2019ll regard it as rude.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Tim James:<\/p>\n

When she opened her door, he was mute.
\nShe had dolled herself up, no dispute.
\nHair and make-up? Chef\u2019s kiss.
\nBut the kicker was this:
\nHer exceedingly fine birthday suit.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Sjaan VandenBroeder:<\/p>\n

I was once in addictive pursuit
\nOf campaign buttons (ugly or cute.)
\nBut now I\u2019ve no use
\nFor button abuse \u2014
\nExcept for the one labeled \u201cMute.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

HONORABLE MENTIONS (NEIGHBOR LIMERICK DIVISION)<\/p>\n

Jean McEwen:<\/p>\n

My neighbor (a snoot and a snoop)
\nParks herself, every day, on the stoop
\nOf her spic and span house
\nAnd proceeds, then, to grouse
\nAbout all of the dogs she sees poop.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Dave Johnson: <\/p>\n

The couple upstairs didn\u2019t care
\nIf they broadcast their steamy affair.
\nAt first, \u201cOohs\u201d and \u201cAahs\u201d
\nFollowed up with a pause;
\nThen an \u201cUuh\u201d to announce he was there.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Tim James:<\/p>\n

My neighbor emits quite a din
\nFrom the next-door apartment she\u2019s in.
\nWith her boyfriend, Big Rod,
\nShe cries out to her God.
\nHow I wish that the walls weren\u2019t so thin!<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Tony Holmes:<\/p>\n

If your neighbor should give you the eye,
\nDon\u2019t rush in! Stop, and ask yourself, \u201cWhy?\u201d
\nShe is young, bold and hot,
\nAnd let\u2019s face it, you\u2019re not;
\nThen again, Bud, go reach for the sky!<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Dave Johnson:<\/p>\n

He\u2019s known as the neighborhood pest;
\nAs merely \u201cHello\u201d will attest.
\nWhen trapped in a chat,
\nOne solution for that:
\nProclaiming that Trump is the best.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Tony Holmes:<\/p>\n

Our new neighbors look friendly enough \u2013
\nAnd compliant. No need to get tough.
\nGive them time, early days;
\nOnce they\u2019re trained in our ways,
\nWe\u2019ll pop over and borrow their stuff.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Sjaan VandenBroeder:<\/p>\n

It appears that my neighbors have started
\nTo wear face masks with slogans imparted:
\n\u2019Cross the street lives \u201cFree Hugs,\u201d
\nOn the corner \u201cGot Drugs?\u201d
\nRight next door \u201cBlah Blah Blah\u201d and \u201cWho Farted?\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Konrad Schwoerke:<\/p>\n

Though your home is the fruit of your labors,
\nYou might not get to pick your close neighbors.
\nSure most couples will fight,
\nBut all day and all night?
\nAnd on horseback with cavalry sabers?<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.<\/p>\n

In the next couple of minutes I\u2019ll be posting a new Limerick-Off,<\/a> which gives you yet another opportunity to win the Limerick-Off Award.<\/p>\n

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter<\/a>. Thanks!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick-Off winners based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in the last Limerick-Off. Congratulations to KONRAD SCHWOERKE, who wins the Limerick-Off Award for this funny limerick: While shopping for clothes, be astute. It\u2019s for work, so not overly cute. Geez, that jacket\u2019s a sack! Please don\u2019t pick […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[62,104,84,3270,1192,1983,65,42,103],"tags":[4003,4465,5106,2538,5009,5018,5144,5399,5343,3167,5145,487,523],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/43276"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=43276"}],"version-history":[{"count":23,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/43276\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":43302,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/43276\/revisions\/43302"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=43276"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=43276"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=43276"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}