{"id":43232,"date":"2020-10-10T16:09:18","date_gmt":"2020-10-10T20:09:18","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/?p=43232"},"modified":"2020-10-10T16:30:37","modified_gmt":"2020-10-10T20:30:37","slug":"limerick-off-award-454","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/2020\/10\/10\/limerick-off-award-454\/","title":{"rendered":"Limerick-Off Award (454)"},"content":{"rendered":"

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick-Off winners based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in the last Limerick-Off<\/a>. <\/p>\n

Congratulations to TERRY MARTER, who wins the Limerick-Off Award for this funny limerick:<\/p>\n

Ped’lling London, my good wife and I,
\nSee the Queen\u2019s Guard musicians march by.
\nThey play \u201cStrike Up The Band\u201d
\nAs we bike up The Strand
\nAnd we inwardly hear Spooner sigh.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Congratulations to TIM JAMES, who wins the Special GAME-Themed Limerick Award for this funny limerick:<\/p>\n

A fellow who liked to play chess
\nPut his hand up a pretty girl\u2019s dress.
\nHis ambitions were wrecked
\nWhen he found himself checked.
\nAs for mate, he\u2019d no chance of success.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Steve Benko,<\/a> Sjaan VandenBroeder, Tim James, Brian Allgar,<\/a> Paul Haebig, Cyn,<\/a> Konrad Schwoerke, Sharon Neeman, Kirk Miller, and Dave Johnson. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:<\/p>\n

HONORABLE MENTIONS (DOUBLE DUTY DIVISION: \u201cBAND or BANNED\u201d RHYME LIMERICKS THAT ARE ALSO GAME-themed LIMERICKS)<\/p>\n

Steve Benko:<\/p>\n

Thought the card sharp, \u201cA game of strip poker
\nWill quickly and surely uncloak her.\u201d
\nBut though cheating was banned,
\nShe\u2019d snuck into her hand
\nEnough aces to beat any joker.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

HONORABLE MENTIONS (“BAND or BANNED” RHYME DIVISION)<\/p>\n

Sjaan VandenBroeder: <\/p>\n

An assembly of sharks is called \u201cShiver\u201d;
\nAnd a cluster of cobras a \u201cQuiver\u201d;
\nFlocked flamingos a \u201cStand\u201d;
\nGrouped gorillas a \u201cBand.\u201d
\nChickens crossing the highway? \u201cChopped Liver.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Tim James: <\/p>\n

He\u2019s infected (now, THAT was unplanned)
\nBy the \u201choax\u201d that\u2019s been sweeping the land.
\nOf my thoughts in this case
\nI\u2019ll reveal not a trace
\nLest by Madeleine Kane I get banned.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Brian Allgar: <\/p>\n

We were dancing a slow sarabande
\nWhen she said: \u201cWould you like one night-stand?\u201d
\nWhat I got, though, from Mabel
\nWas one bedside table,
\nWhich wasn\u2019t quite what I had planned.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Paul Haebig: <\/p>\n

The green room provisions this band
\nRequires are way out of hand:
\n– No green M&M’s
\n– Ninety roses (long stems)
\n– And an altar to worship Ayn Rand.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Cyn:<\/p>\n

Unzipping his jeans, Sammy led
\nSaucy Sally to bed, where he said,
\n\u201cAlthough Mom says it\u2019s banned
\nIf I use my own hand,
\nI figured we\u2019d use yours instead.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Tim James:<\/p>\n

A moron blew seventy grand
\nOn his hair. Doesn\u2019t that beat the band!
\nAs for taxes, evasion
\nSuits ev\u2019ry occasion.
\nTo primp and to skimp is his brand.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Sjaan VandenBroeder: <\/p>\n

Said my doc, \u201cEggs and bacon are banned,
\nAnd eat nothing prepackaged or canned.
\nAvoid beer, wine, and malt,
\nCut out sugar and salt.
\nLonger life? See how much you can stand.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Brian Allgar: <\/p>\n

“No mask, like the folk that elected me;
\nMy strong constitution protected me.
\nBut I\u2019m sick, like they planned,
\nAnd my rallies are banned –
\nIt musta been Biden infected me!”<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

HONORABLE MENTIONS (GAME-Themed LIMERICK DIVISION)<\/p>\n

Konrad Schwoerke:<\/p>\n

I have tried playing tournament Scrabble,
\nBut I suck, so I now merely dabble
\nIn building with piles
\nOf small lettered tiles\u2014
\nVoil\u00e0!\u2014it\u2019s the Tower of Babel.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Sjaan VandenBroeder:<\/p>\n

Though the Great Game of Golf I shan\u2019t mock,
\nAnd its cute dimpled ball I can\u2019t knock,
\nAll that junk in the bag
\nIs too heavy to drag,
\nAnd does nothing but spoil a good walk.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Sharon Neeman:<\/p>\n

Wow! A double half twist! Look at that!
\nIf I tried it myself, I’d go splat —
\nBut she climbs ever higher,
\nThen slides down a wire…
\nThe world is her game. She’s my cat.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Brian Allgar: <\/p>\n

I was playing strip-poker one night
\nWith a girl who had bet to the height
\nOn four kings. Well, I knew
\nMy four aces would do.
\n\u201cI\u2019ll see you\u201d, I said. What a sight!<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Kirk Miller:<\/p>\n

When I asked a French woman if she
\nEnjoyed video games, I could see
\nHer beginning to smile.
\nShe replied to me, \u201cI\u2019ll
\nHave to say that the answer is Wii.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Dave Johnson:<\/p>\n

Here\u2019s a game that you might like to play:
\nImagine you\u2019re far, far away
\nOne decade ago;
\nThere\u2019s an orderly flow.
\nAnd Trump hasn\u2019t ruined your day.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Tim James:<\/p>\n

He considered it all fun and games
\nAs he cheated with multiple dames.
\nBut the ladies found out
\nAnd they turned on the lout.
\nNow \u201cMud\u201d is just one of his names.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.<\/p>\n

In the next couple of minutes I\u2019ll be posting a new Limerick-Off<\/a>, which gives you yet another opportunity to win the Limerick-Off Award.<\/p>\n

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter<\/a>. Thanks!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick-Off winners based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in the last Limerick-Off. Congratulations to TERRY MARTER, who wins the Limerick-Off Award for this funny limerick: Ped’lling London, my good wife and I, See the Queen\u2019s Guard musicians march by. They play \u201cStrike Up The Band\u201d As […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[62,104,84,3270,1192,1983,65,42,103],"tags":[4003,3785,4465,3284,2538,5009,5018,5399,5052,5343,5080,5407,3167,487,523],"class_list":["post-43232","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-contests","category-limerick-haiku-seeds","category-limerick-award-winners","category-limerick-competition","category-limerick-contest","category-limerick-of-the-week","category-limerick-writing-contest","category-limericks","category-poetry-prompts","tag-brian-allgar","tag-cyn","tag-dave-johnson","tag-kirk-miller","tag-konrad-schwoerke","tag-limerick-contest","tag-limerick-of-the-week","tag-paul-haebig","tag-sharon-neeman","tag-sjaan-vandenbroeder","tag-steve-benko","tag-terry-marter","tag-tim-james","tag-writing-competitions","tag-writing-contest"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/43232","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=43232"}],"version-history":[{"count":30,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/43232\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":43268,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/43232\/revisions\/43268"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=43232"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=43232"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=43232"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}