{"id":43145,"date":"2020-09-12T16:52:12","date_gmt":"2020-09-12T20:52:12","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/?p=43145"},"modified":"2020-09-12T17:06:13","modified_gmt":"2020-09-12T21:06:13","slug":"limerick-off-award-452","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/2020\/09\/12\/limerick-off-award-452\/","title":{"rendered":"Limerick-Off Award (452)"},"content":{"rendered":"

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick-Off winners based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in the last Limerick-Off.<\/a> <\/p>\n

Congratulations to TIM JAMES, who wins the Limerick-Off Award for this funny limerick:<\/p>\n

A dude tried to show he had brass
\nWhen he mounted a burro. Alas!
\nHe displayed ev\u2019ry sign
\nThat he\u2019d had too much wine.
\nHe fell down. He was drunk off his ass.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Congratulations to RICHARD CAMPBELL,<\/a> who wins the Special DRIVING-Themed Limerick Award for this funny limerick:<\/p>\n

Just keep driving like one of the crazies
\nIn a movie of Martin Scorsese\u2019s.
\nExcess speeding and drinking?
\nBad business, I\u2019m thinking.
\nNext parking spot? Under the daisies.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Mike Shulman, Brian Allgar,<\/a> Jean McEwen, Lisi Nortman Ardissone, Sjaan VandenBroeder, Paul Haebig, Tony Holmes, Bob Turvey, Tim James, Dave Johnson, Suzanne Heymann, and Steve Benko.<\/a> Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:<\/p>\n

HONORABLE MENTIONS (“WINE\/WHINE” RHYME DIVISION)<\/p>\n

Mike Shulman:<\/p>\n

A hiccup if muted is fine,
\nA belch you don\u2019t hear is benign,
\nBut let\u2019s speak the truth,
\nA fart\u2019s like vermouth\u2013
\nAn odorous, fortified whine.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Brian Allgar:<\/p>\n

A warning to drinkers: red wine
\nCould blacken your toenails, like mine.
\nA whole case of Bordeaux
\nGot dropped on my toe!
\n(It was Chateau Margaux \u201989.)<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Jean McEwen: <\/p>\n

Snobbish oenophiles tend to malign
\nTwo Buck Chuck as inferior wine.
\nBut I must disagree
\n\u2019Cause it\u2019s cheap, and to me
\nIt\u2019s as good as the ones they call \u201cfine.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Lisi Nortman:<\/p>\n

My life has been working out fine.
\nMy job is just simply divine.
\nThe boss is real nice;
\nAlways gives good advice.
\nIt\u2019s eight hours a day, nine to wine.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Sjaan VandenBroeder:<\/p>\n

Are mere worker ants creatures divine?
\nHere\u2019s one antic observed that\u2019s a sign:
\nBack and forth they will traipse
\nOver vines to haul grapes
\nSo both soldiers and queens can have wine.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Paul Haebig: <\/p>\n

The tourist in Frankfurt am Main
\nsaid “Neun” when he should have said “Nein.”
\nSo a half hour later
\nThe puzzled young waiter
\nReturned with nine bottles of wine.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Tony Holmes:<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat to pair? That\u2019s the beauty of wine;
\nAn adventure whenever you dine.
\nI found hotdogs today,
\nSo I thought, \u2018Beaujolais!\u2019\u201d
\n\u201cHic! I\u2019d rather have claret with mine.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Bob Turvey:<\/p>\n

When Policewoman Smith came to town,
\nTo arrest handsome barrister Brown,
\nHe took her to dine;
\nHe plied her with wine;
\nThen he finally laid the law down.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

HONORABLE MENTIONS (DRIVING LIMERICK DIVISION)<\/p>\n

Brian Allgar:<\/p>\n

She used her sat-nav every day;
\nEach instruction she\u2019d blindly obey.
\nBut her drive was ill-fated;
\nThe map was outdated \u2013
\nThe bridge had been taken away.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Tim James:<\/p>\n

My son does one-ten on the flats.
\nHe runs red lights and stop signs. His stats:
\nSeven tickets, two wrecks.
\nIt\u2019s had major effects:
\nCare to guess where he\u2019s driving me? Bats.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Lisi Nortman says:<\/p>\n

The Ferrari is driven with force.
\nIt\u2019s a car that most experts endorse.
\nYet sometimes I ponder
\nThe \u201cgreat wild blue yonder\u201d
\nAnd wonder what\u2019s wrong with a horse.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Dave Johnson:<\/p>\n

Our hazardous mission today
\nMight be a good reason to pray.
\nWe\u2019ll struggle and strive
\nWith the will to survive
\nThat freeway that runs through L.A.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Suzanne Heymann:<\/p>\n

When some guy in a fast Lamborghini
\nFlirts with gals when they wear a bikini
\nAnd their eyes see the prize,
\nHe just compensates (tries)
\nFor the little wee size of his weenie.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Steve Benko:<\/p>\n

Said Miss Daisy, \u201cLet\u2019s go somewhere, Hoke;
\nTake the wheel, for with me, we would croak.
\nWhen we get to the woods,
\nYou\u2019ll deliver the goods;
\nIn the back come and give me a poke.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Tim James:<\/p>\n

From the back, as the dad drives the car,
\nComes the whine: \u201cAre we there yet? How far?\u201d
\nLittle Lisa screams: \u201cSee?
\nTommy\u2019s LOOKING AT ME!\u201d
\nSays the mom: \u201cCan we stop at that bar?\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.<\/p>\n

In the next couple of minutes I\u2019ll be posting a new Limerick-Off<\/a>, which gives you yet another opportunity to win the Limerick-Off Award.<\/p>\n

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter<\/a>. Thanks!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick-Off winners based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in the last Limerick-Off. Congratulations to TIM JAMES, who wins the Limerick-Off Award for this funny limerick: A dude tried to show he had brass When he mounted a burro. Alas! He displayed ev\u2019ry sign That he\u2019d had […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[62,104,84,3270,1192,1983,65,42,103],"tags":[5401,4003,4465,5106,5009,5018,5144,5096,5399,5046,5343,5080,4533,3167,5145,487,523],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/43145"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=43145"}],"version-history":[{"count":19,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/43145\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":43183,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/43145\/revisions\/43183"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=43145"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=43145"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=43145"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}