{"id":43123,"date":"2020-08-29T16:09:18","date_gmt":"2020-08-29T20:09:18","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/?p=43123"},"modified":"2020-08-29T16:34:21","modified_gmt":"2020-08-29T20:34:21","slug":"limerick-off-award-451","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/2020\/08\/29\/limerick-off-award-451\/","title":{"rendered":"Limerick-Off Award (451)"},"content":{"rendered":"

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick-Off winners based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in the last Limerick-Off.<\/a> <\/p>\n

Congratulations to TIM JAMES, who wins the Limerick-Off Award for this funny limerick:<\/p>\n

I had chiggers. They started to bite
\nAs they burrowed down deep, out of sight.
\nFrom my ankles to belt
\nI was one giant welt.
\nWas it itchy? Perhaps just a mite.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Congratulations to LISI NORTMAN ARDISSONE, who wins the Special CHILDREN-Themed Limerick Award for this funny limerick:<\/p>\n

We are now on the way to Madrid;
\nPacked the sippy cups, each with a lid.
\nAnd the Bouncy Chair, swing,
\n“Sleep-Time Cuddlies” that sing…
\nBut we seem to have misplaced the kid.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Tony Holmes, Suzanne Heymann, Brian Allgar,<\/a> Sjaan VandenBroeder, Tim James, Kirk Miller, Dave Johnson, Jean McEwen, and Wayne Feder.<\/a> Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:<\/p>\n

HONORABLE MENTIONS (“SIGHT or SITE” RHYME DIVISION)<\/p>\n

Tony Holmes:<\/p>\n

The director called, \u201cWrap!\u201d for the night.
\nThen discovered the scene wasn\u2019t right.
\nWe all groaned. We were dead.
\nHe took pity and said,
\n“Get some sleep, then we\u2019ll shoot it on site.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Suzanne Heymann:<\/p>\n

Chocolate cake is a heavenly sight,
\nAnd with me, always love at first bite.
\nBut the calorie hounds
\nSay I’ve gone out of bounds,
\nAs I’ve gained seven pounds overnight.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Brian Allgar:<\/p>\n

They adored him, it couldn\u2019t be clearer;
\nAll those fans, not one mocker or sneerer!
\nDonald grinned with delight;
\nThe line stretched out of sight
\nIn his perfect infinity mirror.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Sjaan VandenBroeder:<\/p>\n

His advice was the fatherly kind:
\n\u201cSon, don\u2019t marry the first girl you find.
\nFor when love at first sight
\nStarts to fade overnight,
\nIn the end it goes legally blind.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Tim James:<\/p>\n

\nSaid a fellow whose future looked bright
\nWhen he bought a car showroom one night:
\n\u201cSelling Edsels, I know,
\nWill bring decades of dough!\u201d
\nNow a Burger King stands on the site.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Kirk Miller:<\/p>\n

The baboon met one night on a date
\nThe gorilla his dreams. It was great!
\nHe went ape at her sight
\n\u2019Cause he knew that she might
\nBe the one he would call his prime mate.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Sjaan VandenBroeder:<\/p>\n

He sobbed with a pain so exquisite,
\nThat the Martian Mom said, \u201cSon, what is it?\u201d
\n\u201cOn the Beamer last night
\nFrom Earth\u2019s Lunatic Site \u2014
\nThe Trumps said they\u2019re coming to visit!\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Dave Johnson:<\/p>\n

He went to a strip club that night;
\nSome fantasies yearning for flight.
\nThen down by the front,
\nPutting cash in the hunt;
\nWith hind his preferred kind of sight.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Sjaan VandenBroeder:<\/p>\n

\u201cAll you fireworks people will pay!\u201d
\nBellowed Trump at the end of the day.
\n\u201cMy great name \u2014 what a sight! \u2014
\nIn the heavens at night.
\nSo, which dumbass forgot \u2018Donald J\u2019?\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

HONORABLE MENTIONS (CHILDREN LIMERICK DIVISION)<\/p>\n

Tony Holmes:<\/p>\n

\n\u201cLittle children?\u201d said W. C.
\n\u201cQuite delightful, if you\u2019re asking me.
\nBut they must be well-cooked \u2013
\nThis can\u2019t be overlooked;
\nAnd, on average, my limit is three.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Jean McEwen: <\/p>\n

You may think me a bitter old crone,
\nBut my views about kids are well known:
\nFrom the poop to the croup
\nAnd through every age group,
\nI can\u2019t stand them till after they\u2019re grown.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Wayne Feder:<\/p>\n

Remember, while home on this break,
\nThat children are easy to make.
\nSo it\u2019s wise to go slow;
\nOr to even forgo.
\nQuite often they\u2019re made by mistake.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Dave Johnson:<\/p>\n

We\u2019re stuck with a child who\u2019s a brat;
\nHe\u2019s constantly stoking a spat.
\nOne day we\u2019ll be rid
\nOf this horrible kid;
\nAnd thanking Joe Biden for that.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.<\/p>\n

In the next couple of minutes I\u2019ll be posting a new Limerick-Off,<\/a> which gives you yet another opportunity to win the Limerick-Off Award.<\/p>\n

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter<\/a>. Thanks!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick-Off winners based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in the last Limerick-Off. Congratulations to TIM JAMES, who wins the Limerick-Off Award for this funny limerick: I had chiggers. They started to bite As they burrowed down deep, out of sight. From my ankles to belt I […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[62,104,84,3270,1192,1983,65,42,103],"tags":[4003,4465,5106,3284,5009,5018,5144,5343,4533,3167,5145,5379,487,523],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/43123"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=43123"}],"version-history":[{"count":15,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/43123\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":43143,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/43123\/revisions\/43143"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=43123"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=43123"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=43123"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}