{"id":43084,"date":"2020-08-15T16:27:31","date_gmt":"2020-08-15T20:27:31","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/?p=43084"},"modified":"2020-08-15T16:27:31","modified_gmt":"2020-08-15T20:27:31","slug":"limerick-off-award-450","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/2020\/08\/15\/limerick-off-award-450\/","title":{"rendered":"Limerick-Off Award (450)"},"content":{"rendered":"

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick-Off winners based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in the last Limerick-Off<\/a>. <\/p>\n

Congratulations to SJAAN VANDENBROEDER, who wins the Limerick-Off Award for this funny limerick:<\/p>\n

Grandma\u2019s cottage was perched on a slope,
\nWhere the weeds were way wild beyond hope.
\nThere, a Big Bad old hound
\nWolfing sweets by the pound,
\nGiggled, \u201cGrandma, your brownies are dope!\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Congratulations to TIM JAMES, who wins the Special LOVE-Themed Limerick Award for this funny limerick:<\/p>\n

There once was a lover named Victor
\nWho said to a gal as he licked \u2019er:
\n\u201cI\u2019ll know I\u2019ve done right
\nIf your quake of delight
\nScores an eight on the measure called Richter.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Tim James, Jean McEwen, Lisi Nortman Ardissone, Wayne Feder,<\/a> Larz, Dave Johnson, Tony Holmes, Sjaan VandenBroeder, and Suzanne Heymann. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:<\/p>\n

HONORABLE MENTIONS (DOUBLE DUTY DIVISION: \u201cDOPE\u201d RHYME LIMERICKS THAT ARE ALSO LOVE LIMERICKS)<\/p>\n

Tim James:<\/p>\n

A homophobe just couldn\u2019t cope.
\nHe said, \u201cMarriage equality? Nope!
\nWedlock\u2019s just,\u201d he\u2019d aver,
\n\u201cFor a him and a her.\u201d
\nThere you have it, my friends: the straight dope.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s \u2018the love that dare not speak its name.\u2019
\nThose who sin are condemned to the flame!\u201d
\nIs that brimstone I smell?
\nIt\u2019s our version of hell
\nThat the whole GOP thinks the same.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

HONORABLE MENTIONS (“DOPE” RHYME DIVISION)<\/p>\n

Jean McEwen: <\/p>\n

Tell me, how can you be such a dope
\nAs to think you could vulgarly grope
\nThe ass of that lass
\nAnd be given a pass
\nWhen you heard her distinctly say \u201cnope!\u201d?<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Lisi Nortman Ardissone:<\/p>\n

The cops said, “This guy was a dope.”
\n(Told reporters, “He just couldn’t cope.”)
\n“He was takin’ a shower,
\nThen started to cower,
\nGot strangled with ‘soap on a rope.'”<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Tim James:<\/p>\n

An artist, a pompous old dope,
\nTo bright colors has firmly said nope.
\nHe\u2019s a bore to his core,
\nAnd his work is a snore.
\nHis new painting: \u201cA Study in Taupe.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Wayne Feder:<\/p>\n

I won\u2019t say that I\u2019ve given up hope,
\nOr I\u2019m numb and can no longer cope.
\nBut till Trump goes away,
\nI\u2019m planning to stay
\nIn a cave with my kilo of dope.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Larz:<\/p>\n

My wife bathes in bubbles of soap.
\nShe\u2019ll soon be quite frisky, I hope.
\nI\u2019m waiting in bed —
\nShe shakes me instead.
\nSaid, \u201cOh, wake up! You\u2019re dreaming, you dope!\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

HONORABLE MENTIONS (LOVE LIMERICK DIVISION)<\/p>\n

Dave Johnson:<\/p>\n

He knew it was love at first sight;
\nA vision so perfect and right.
\nAnd what would inspire
\nSuch unchecked desire?
\nTrump\u2019s mirror \u2013 his source of delight.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Tony Holmes:<\/p>\n

In that first flush, love smiles at your quirks;
\nLater on, still indulgent, it smirks;
\nBut the end is in sight
\nWhen the quirks start to bite,
\nAs the dopamine no longer works.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Wayne Feder:<\/p>\n

The girl told her friend in disgust,
\n\u201cIt\u2019s hard to find men you can trust.
\nNot heeding Mom\u2019s warning,
\nI learned the next morning
\nThat love\u2019s not the same thing as lust.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Sjaan VandenBroeder:<\/p>\n

It is better to love and be blue
\nThan to never have loved… Oh so true.
\nThough I\u2019ve paraphrased badly,
\nI make this point gladly,
\nAs long as it\u2019s me dumping you.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Tim James:<\/p>\n

She\u2019s in love, with her eyes full of stars;
\nHe\u2019s obsessed with his beer and fast cars
\nAnd the sports that he sees
\nOn his wide-screen TVs.
\nThat all fits, because men are from Mars.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Suzanne Heymann:<\/p>\n

Friendship’s better; love’s just a creation
\nThat leads to eternal damnation.
\nRomance is a word
\nThat too often is heard
\nAs a highly absurd expectation.<\/p>\n

Friends don’t need you to be good in bed
\nOr to please them or make sure they’re fed.
\nYou can fart and be broke,
\nBe too fat, drink and smoke
\nYet stay friends till you choke or drop dead.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.<\/p>\n

In the next couple of minutes I\u2019ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win the Limerick-Off Award.<\/p>\n

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter<\/a>. Thanks!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick-Off winners based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in the last Limerick-Off. Congratulations to SJAAN VANDENBROEDER, who wins the Limerick-Off Award for this funny limerick: Grandma\u2019s cottage was perched on a slope, Where the weeds were way wild beyond hope. There, a Big Bad old hound […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[62,104,84,3270,1192,1983,65,42,103],"tags":[4465,5106,5344,5009,5018,5144,5343,4533,3167,5145,5379,487,523],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/43084"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=43084"}],"version-history":[{"count":19,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/43084\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":43107,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/43084\/revisions\/43107"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=43084"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=43084"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=43084"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}