{"id":43007,"date":"2020-07-18T17:04:05","date_gmt":"2020-07-18T21:04:05","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/?p=43007"},"modified":"2020-07-18T17:16:53","modified_gmt":"2020-07-18T21:16:53","slug":"limerick-off-award-448","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/2020\/07\/18\/limerick-off-award-448\/","title":{"rendered":"Limerick-Off Award (448)"},"content":{"rendered":"

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick-Off winners based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in the last Limerick-Off<\/a>. <\/p>\n

Congratulations to SHARON NEEMAN, who wins the Limerick-Off Award for this funny 2-verse limerick:<\/p>\n

Every good writing venue’s gone stale:
\nStaying home feels like being in jail;
\nThey’ve closed down the caf\u00e9;
\nRenting space doesn’t pay;
\nIn the garden today, there was hail.<\/p>\n

Now my laptop has gone and dropped dead!
\nSo I’m counting my woes from my bed:
\nI have nowhere to write
\nAnd a jinx I can’t fight…
\nAnd this “block” they all cite? That’s my head.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Congratulations to STEVE BENKO,<\/a> who wins the Special WRITER’S BLOCK-Themed Limerick Award for this funny limerick:<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m leaving you, Steve,\u201d said my muse,
\n\u201cIf MadKane is the forum you choose.
\nI inspired the Greeks
\nBut you limerick geeks
\nMake my sisters and me hit the booze.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Richard Campbell,<\/a> Tim James, Roger Haugen, Brian Allgar,<\/a> Lisi Nortman Ardissone, Sjaan VandenBroeder, Tony Holmes, Kirk Miller, Suzanne Heymann, Konrad Schwoerke, Wayne Feder,<\/a> Jean McEwen, and Dave Johnson. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:<\/p>\n

HONORABLE MENTIONS (DOUBLE DUTY DIVISION: \u201cHAIL\/HALE\u201d RHYME LIMERICKS THAT ARE ALSO WRITERS’S BLOCK LIMERICKS)<\/p>\n

Richard Campbell:<\/p>\n

The storm was a monster \u2014 a gale.
\nThe thunder and lightning! I\u2019d quail.
\n(Damn! Now what is that rhyme?
\nMy mind blanks all the time.
\nThose little ice balls are called…)<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

HONORABLE MENTIONS (“HAIL\/HALE” RHYME DIVISION)<\/p>\n

Tim James:<\/p>\n

Wear a mask in a crowd? Epic fail!
\nAgainst loss of my freedoms I rail.
\nI can say without doubt
\nThat it\u2019s safe to go out.
\n(Just whatever you do, don\u2019t inhale.)<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Roger Haugen:<\/p>\n

\u201cThrough rain storms and snow storms and hail,
\nCount on us to deliver the mail.\u201d
\nA laudable creed,
\nBut often its speed
\nIs close to the pace of a snail.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Brian Allgar:<\/p>\n

\u201cMy rallies are right off the scale;
\nWith supporters like that, I can\u2019t fail!
\nThey give straight-arm salutes
\nAnd wear goose-stepping boots,
\nBut who\u2019s this guy “Sieg” that they hail?\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Lisi Nortman Ardissone:<\/p>\n

As a senior, I’m no longer hale.
\nI can spot someone’s face, but I fail
\nTo remember a name,
\nAnd I feel such deep shame
\nWhen my train of thought starts to derail.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Sjaan VandenBroeder:<\/p>\n

Through rain, sleet, and snow \u2014 even hail \u2014
\nA manly man stays on the trail
\nTill he finds the right slot
\nTo insert what he\u2019s got.
\nI\u2019m referring (of course) to the mail.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Tony Holmes:<\/p>\n

\u201cLet me put it this way,\u201d said the doc\u2019,
\n\u201cFrom now on, keep both eyes on the clock.
\nNeither hearty nor hale,
\nOne false step and you\u2019ll fail.\u201d
\nDid this guy never hear the word, \u2018shock\u2019?<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Lisi Nortman:<\/p>\n

I remember my wild days at Yale
\nWhen I followed the \u201cpot smoking trail.\u201d
\nI smoked it in heat;
\nAlso rain, snow and sleet.
\nBut I just didn\u2019t want to in hail.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Kirk Miller:<\/p>\n

He embarked on a dieting craze.
\nThe results never ceased to amaze.
\nWhen he stepped on the scale,
\nLoss of weight he would hail.
\nIt was clear he was changing his weighs.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Suzanne Heymann:<\/p>\n

\nThere\u2019s a drink that is better than ale;
\nIt has vodka, tomato juice, kale,
\nSalt-rimmed glass for the ride.
\nOpen wide, let it slide.
\nThat\u2019s one Caesar that I\u2019d like to hail!<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

HONORABLE MENTIONS (WRITER’S BLOCK LIMERICK DIVISION)<\/p>\n

Konrad Schwoerke:<\/p>\n

\nWhat to write? What to write? What to write?
\nWhat to write? What to write? What a plight!
\nWhat to… wait, here\u2019s a thought!
\nNo, it\u2019s gone\u2014I\u2019m distraught.
\nWhat to write? What to… fuck it, good night.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Sjaan VandenBroeder:<\/p>\n

To my teacher I said, \u201cI\u2019m a wreck \u2014
\nWriter\u2019s block is a pain in the neck!\u201d
\n\u201cFrom what you have written,\u201d
\nSaid she, \u201cYou\u2019ve been smitten
\nperhaps less with \u2018block\u2019 than with \u2018blech.’\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Wayne Feder:<\/p>\n

Writers block! Are you out of your gourd?
\nLet\u2019s get your commitment restored.
\nAll you\u2019ll need for a muse
\nIs one page of the news,
\nTo find grist for a Nobel Award.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Tim James:<\/p>\n

\nA writer who\u2019d taken a crack
\nAt a JFK book said, \u201cAlack!
\nWhen I tried to compose,
\nMy whole brain up and froze.
\nSimply stated, I couldn\u2019t write jack.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Lisi Nortman Ardissone: <\/p>\n

I went to the shrink and he said,
\n“I know you’ve a feeling of dread.
\nThe words will come back;
\nYou’ve a wonderful knack.
\nBut you have to stop punching your head.”<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Jean McEwen: <\/p>\n

Among limerick wordsmiths, my rank
\nIs as low as can be, to be frank.
\nOnce Mad Kane gives the prompt
\nYou would think I\u2019d be swamped
\nWith eurekas \u2013 and yet, my mind\u2019s blank.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Kirk Miller:<\/p>\n

An author, a priest, set his sights
\nOn writing a novel, but fights
\nWriter\u2019s block that\u2019s so dread,
\nInspiration is dead.
\nSo the padre performs his last writes.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Dave Johnson:<\/p>\n

\u201cI think this one\u2019s gonna be fun;
\nIt might have a pretty good run.
\nThe challenging part
\nIs just where do I start?\u201d
\n\u2013 When Tolstoy imagined Page One…<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Tim James:<\/p>\n

As I\u2019ve aged, it has come as a shock:
\nWhen I write, my brain goes into lock.
\nThere are others like me;
\nWe\u2019ve united, you see.
\nCome and join us: The Old Writers\u2019 Bloc.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.<\/p>\n

In the next couple of minutes I\u2019ll be posting a new Limerick-Off<\/a>, which gives you yet another opportunity to win the Limerick-Off Award.<\/p>\n

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter<\/a>. Thanks!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick-Off winners based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in the last Limerick-Off. Congratulations to SHARON NEEMAN, who wins the Limerick-Off Award for this funny 2-verse limerick: Every good writing venue’s gone stale: Staying home feels like being in jail; They’ve closed down the caf\u00e9; Renting space […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[62,104,84,3270,1192,1983,65,42,103],"tags":[4003,4465,5106,3284,2538,5009,5018,5144,5046,5239,5052,5343,5080,4533,3167,5145,5379,487,523],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/43007"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=43007"}],"version-history":[{"count":23,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/43007\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":43043,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/43007\/revisions\/43043"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=43007"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=43007"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=43007"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}