{"id":42950,"date":"2020-06-20T17:38:55","date_gmt":"2020-06-20T21:38:55","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/?p=42950"},"modified":"2020-06-20T18:04:46","modified_gmt":"2020-06-20T22:04:46","slug":"limerick-off-award-446","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/2020\/06\/20\/limerick-off-award-446\/","title":{"rendered":"Limerick-Off Award (446)"},"content":{"rendered":"

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick-Off winners based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in the last Limerick-Off.<\/a> <\/p>\n

Congratulations to TIM JAMES, who wins the Limerick-Off Award for his funny limerick, inspired by this news item: “NYC Health Dept. urges New Yorkers to consider wearing face masks during sex.”<\/p>\n

Social distancing leads me to drink;
\nInto boredom and torpor I sink.
\n\u201cTake advantage,\u201d they say,
\n\u201cOf the new games to play!\u201d
\nA masked ball, though, just isn\u2019t my kink.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Congratulations to JEAN MCEWEN, who wins the Special PUNCTUATION-Themed Limerick Award for this funny limerick:<\/p>\n

Tell me: Why must there be so much drama
\nRegarding the use of a comma
\nInstead of a period?
\nYee gads! The myriad
\nRules give me scholarly trauma.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Brian Allgar,<\/a> Sjaan VandenBroeder, Tim James, Wayne Feder<\/a> Lisi Nortman Ardissone, Steve Whitred,<\/a> Will T. Laughlin,<\/a> Tony Holmes, Ken Gosse, and Fred Bortz.<\/a> Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:<\/p>\n

HONORABLE MENTIONS (“SINK\/SYNC” RHYME DIVISION)<\/p>\n

Brian Allgar:<\/p>\n

How low can the President sink?
\nIs there nothing from which he will shrink?
\nAll his statements are lies;
\nThat includes (no surprise!)
\nAny sentence beginning \u201cI think …\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Sjaan VandenBroeder:<\/p>\n

My machines grow increasingly clever,
\nWell equipped for most any endeavor.
\nSome will talk, some just think \u2014
\nEither way, they\u2019re in sync,
\nAnd have no use for me whatsoever.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Tim James:<\/p>\n

His boat is now deep in the drink.
\nHow\u2019d it happen? He started to link
\nThe computer on board
\nWith his cell phone. \u201cGood lord!\u201d
\nHe cried out as he watched the boat sync.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Wayne Feder:<\/p>\n

Four years will pass by in a wink,
\nThen Don will have more time to think.
\nMy guess, five to ten,
\nIn a six by eight pen,
\nWith just a commode and a sink.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Lisi Nortman Ardissone, on Synchronized Swimming:<\/p>\n

I felt so dejected and blue
\nAfter reading “The Swimming Review.”
\nSeems one swimmer “in sync”
\nSadly drowned from a drink,
\nSo the other ones had to drown too.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Steve Whitred:<\/p>\n

My fridge is beginning to stink
\nAnd potatoes grow under the sink.
\nThe grass is as high
\nAs a field full of rye,
\nBut I\u2019ll watch one more \u2018Ozark\u2019 I think.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Will T. Laughlin:<\/p>\n

The name of the band was N\u2019Sync.
\nI tried them, to see what I\u2019d think,
\nBut I soon had enough
\nOf such juvenile stuff…
\nThey should call them N\u2019Toilet. They stink.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

HONORABLE MENTIONS (PUNCTUATION LIMERICK DIVISION)<\/p>\n

Tim James:<\/p>\n

Punctuation in Spanish is cool.
\n\u201cPut the marks at the start\u201d is the rule.
\n\u201cTurn them upside-down\u201d too.
\n\u00bfEs verdad? Is that true?
\n\u00a1Por supuesto! Of course! I\u2019m no fool!<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Tony Holmes:<\/p>\n

You can make a good point with a dash;
\nGives your writing that something \u2013 panache!
\nBut beware of abuse \u2013
\nBe judicious in use \u2013
\nThus avoiding dismissal as \u201cBrash!\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Lisi Nortman:<\/p>\n

The Kanes took a walk in the park.
\nMad shrieked, \u201cWow! that dog sure can bark!\u201d
\nHubby said, \u201cIt\u2019s a deer.
\nYou are wrong. Can\u2019t you hear?\u201d
\n(Mad knows she should not question Mark.)<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Sjaan VandenBroeder:<\/p>\n

Semicolons, I think, are intended
\nFor a thought, if it\u2019s split, to be mended.
\nBut I must say \u201cAmen!\u201d
\nTo the semi paren
\n(Which keeps discourse like this open-ended<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Ken Gosse:<\/p>\n

A persnickety writer once wrote
\nPunctuation should help to connote
\nAnd to clarify meaning,
\nRequiring preening
\nThat\u2019s used to enlighten, not smote.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Lisi Nortman Ardissone:<\/p>\n

John painted a beautiful mural,
\nDepicting a scene that is rural.
\nIt is called “Country View’s.”
\nBut why’d this fool use
\nAn apostrophe right in a plural?<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Tim James:<\/p>\n

The apostrophes often abused;
\nLot\u2019s of people dont know how its used.
\nThey cant grasp, though they try,
\nAll the rule\u2019s that apply.
\nThere are time\u2019s even I get confused.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Fred Bortz:<\/p>\n

I’m writing a note to Obama
\nAsking how to resist all the drama
\nThat comes from Trump’s tweeting,
\nProtesting, and bleating.
\nI’ve begun “Dear Barack” and a comma.<\/p>\n

Now I’m wondering, as I get rollin’,
\nDoes “Barack” make it sound like I’m trollin’?
\nIt’s clearly not normal
\nTo be so informal.
\nI’ll start with “Dear Sir” and a colon.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.<\/p>\n

In the next couple of minutes I\u2019ll be posting a new Limerick-Off,<\/a> which gives you yet another opportunity to win the Limerick-Off Award.<\/p>\n

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter<\/a>. Thanks!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick-Off winners based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in the last Limerick-Off. Congratulations to TIM JAMES, who wins the Limerick-Off Award for his funny limerick, inspired by this news item: “NYC Health Dept. urges New Yorkers to consider wearing face masks during sex.” Social distancing leads […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[62,104,84,3270,1192,1983,65,42],"tags":[4003,3523,5106,4842,5009,5018,5144,5343,3342,3167,5145,5379,3543,487,523],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/42950"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=42950"}],"version-history":[{"count":22,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/42950\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":42974,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/42950\/revisions\/42974"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=42950"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=42950"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=42950"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}