{"id":42853,"date":"2020-05-09T17:49:45","date_gmt":"2020-05-09T21:49:45","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/?p=42853"},"modified":"2020-05-09T17:58:37","modified_gmt":"2020-05-09T21:58:37","slug":"limerick-off-award-444","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/2020\/05\/09\/limerick-off-award-444\/","title":{"rendered":"Limerick-Off Award (444)"},"content":{"rendered":"

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick-Off winners based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in the last Limerick-Off. <\/a> <\/p>\n

Congratulations to SJAAN VANDENBROEDER, who wins the Limerick-Off Award for this funny limerick:<\/p>\n

Moaned a mugger while reading a graph,
\nShowing street crime diminished by half:
\n\u201cNow that all my marks hide
\nUnder masks when outside,
\nIf I say \u2018Stick \u2019em up!\u2019 they just laugh.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Congratulations to KIRK MILLER, who wins the Special CHALLENGE-Themed Limerick Award for this funny limerick:<\/p>\n

During Scrabble a challenge is heard,
\nBut a penalty won\u2019t be incurred;
\nThe letter formation
\nReceives vindication,
\n\u2019Cause the player\u2019s as good as his word.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Congratulations to DAVE JOHNSON, who wins a special Limerick Saga Award, occasionally given to a very clever multi-verse limerick.<\/p>\n

The challenge was born on a dare;
\nThat couple would screw in mid-air.
\nTheir skydiving hump
\nAfter making the jump;
\nAn aerial tryst then and there.<\/p>\n

Connected, they dropped from the plane;
\nThen banging like they were insane.
\nTheir downward descent
\nWas a naughty event,
\nUnfolding above the terrain.<\/p>\n

The landing was soft in the end;
\nBut maybe the start of a trend.
\n\u201cFantastic!\u201d they said;
\n\u201cWay more fun than in bed;
\nThe next time, we\u2019re bringing a friend.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Tim James, Steve Whitred,<\/a> Brian Allgar,<\/a> Lisi Nortman Ardissone, Will T. Laughlin,<\/a> Patrice Stewart, Steven Frakt, Sjaan VandenBroeder, Sharon Neeman, and Daisy Hyrkas. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:<\/p>\n

HONORABLE MENTIONS (DOUBLE DUTY DIVISION: \u201cSIDE or SIGHED\u201d RHYME LIMERICKS THAT ARE ALSO CHALLENGES LIMERICKS)<\/p>\n

Tim James:<\/p>\n

It\u2019s a challenge to stand by the side
\nOf a guy whose cerebrum is fried.
\nTake a bow, Dr. Fauci;
\nTry not to be grouchy.
\nDon\u2019t fret; it\u2019s not you we deride.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

HONORABLE MENTIONS (“SIDE or SIGHED” RHYME DIVISION)<\/p>\n

Steve Whitred:<\/p>\n

In Canada people are smart;
\nPublic health measures taken to heart,
\nLike the rule that\u2019s applied
\nWhen we\u2019re working outside:
\n\u201cStay a caribou\u2019s distance apart.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Brian Allgar:<\/p>\n

Donald Trump takes extravagant pride
\nIn his intellect. \u201cCan\u2019t be denied,
\nI\u2019m incredibly smart!
\nMy IQ\u2019s off the chart \u2013
\nSee, that\u2019s me, on the far left-hand side.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Lisi Nortman Ardissone: <\/p>\n

My owner and I used to nuzzle,
\nBut not any more, (what a puzzle!)
\nAt first I just sighed,
\nThen I broke down and cried…
\nAnd also he’s stolen my muzzle.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Will T. Laughlin:<\/p>\n

\u201cWar President!\u201d Turgid with pride,
\nTrump trumpets the words far and wide.
\nBut no leader before
\nIn the time of a war
\nChose to fight on the enemy\u2019s side.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Patrice Stewart:<\/p>\n

\u2019Twas a challenge to turn on her side,
\nAs the double bed wasn\u2019t that wide.
\nBut she lifted one thigh,
\nRolled and caught him \u2013 first try,
\nAnd their passion would not be denied.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Steve Frakt:<\/p>\n

\ufeffThe sad chicken just sat there and cried;
\nCouldn\u2019t cross to the road’s other side.
\nThough this tale may evoke
\nThe world’s oldest joke,
\nThat highway was just too damn wide.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Tim James:<\/p>\n

If there\u2019s one thing I cannot abide
\nIt\u2019s to \u201cshelter in place\u201d (i.e., hide.)
\nI endure this bad dream
\nWith a pint of ice cream
\nAnd an order of fries on the side.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Sjaan VandenBroeder:<\/p>\n

Donald Trump with Mike Pence at his side
\nGives new meaning to Jekyll and Hyde.
\nNo, wait \u2013 that\u2019s too kind,
\nSo if you don\u2019t mind,
\nLet\u2019s go with Godzilla and Bride.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Steve Whitred:<\/p>\n

On the PornHub she\u2019s kinky and brave.
\nShe has fetishes; master and slave,
\nSixty-nine or astride,
\nOn their knees or their side…
\nBut that maskless taboo is her fave.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

HONORABLE MENTIONS (CHALLENGES LIMERICK DIVISION)<\/p>\n

Will T. Laughlin:<\/p>\n

I\u2019m tensing my muscles with dread
\nAs I think of the challenge ahead.
\nI push through the hurt,
\nAll my strength to exert \u2014
\nAnd… I\u2019VE DONE IT! I got out of bed.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Sharon Neeman: <\/p>\n

Although challenges surely abound,
\nI’m determined to win in this round —
\nNot just vanquish the tomb
\nUsing masks, soap and Zoom,
\nBut avoid even one extra pound.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Lisi Nortman Ardissone: <\/p>\n

“I am speaking to you on behalf
\nOf the President’s bumbling staff.
\nThe challenge today
\nIs to hear what he’ll say,
\nAnd the winner’s the one who won’t laugh.”<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Sjaan VandenBroeder:<\/p>\n

It\u2019s a challenge to follow this credo:
\n\u201cWhen in public don\u2019t flaunt your libido.\u201d
\nBut now that our tasks
\nInvolve wearing masks,
\nWe can flaunt all we want incognito!<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Will T. Laughlin:<\/p>\n

From watching Trump\u2019s briefings, we\u2019ve seen
\nThe infection is deadly and mean.
\nThough the threat is severe,
\nWe\u2019ll defeat it \u2014 no fear!
\n(Then go on to fight COVID-19…)<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Daisy Hyrkas:<\/p>\n

The challenge is how to stay fit;
\nMy muscle tone’s taken a hit.
\nI lay in my bed
\nAnd remain in my head.
\nIn other words, I don’t do shit.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.<\/p>\n

In the next couple of minutes I\u2019ll be posting a new Limerick-Off,<\/a> which gives you yet another opportunity to win the Limerick-Off Award.<\/p>\n

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter<\/a>. Thanks!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick-Off winners based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in the last Limerick-Off. Congratulations to SJAAN VANDENBROEDER, who wins the Limerick-Off Award for this funny limerick: Moaned a mugger while reading a graph, Showing street crime diminished by half: \u201cNow that all my marks hide Under masks […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[62,84,3270,1192,1983,65,42,103,64],"tags":[4003,5342,4465,3284,5009,5018,5144,2225,5052,5343,5361,3342,3167,3543,487,523],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/42853"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=42853"}],"version-history":[{"count":20,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/42853\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":42887,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/42853\/revisions\/42887"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=42853"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=42853"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=42853"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}