{"id":42809,"date":"2020-04-25T21:00:01","date_gmt":"2020-04-26T01:00:01","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/?p=42809"},"modified":"2020-04-25T21:14:55","modified_gmt":"2020-04-26T01:14:55","slug":"limerick-off-award-443","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/2020\/04\/25\/limerick-off-award-443\/","title":{"rendered":"Limerick-Off Award (443)"},"content":{"rendered":"

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick-Off winners based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in the last Limerick-Off.<\/a> <\/p>\n

Congratulations to TIM JAMES, who wins the Limerick-Off Award for this funny limerick:<\/p>\n

After thinking about it, I choose
\nTo accept that Corona\u2019s no ruse.
\nWhy is that? I\u2019ll explain:
\nI\u2019ve a functioning brain.
\nRight-wing refuse I firmly refuse.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Congratulations to DAVE JOHNSON, who wins the Special PLAN-Themed Limerick Award for this funny limerick:<\/p>\n

The romantic encounter he\u2019d planned
\nTurned out to be way less than grand.
\nAs things went awry,
\nHe was left with \u201cGoodbye…\u201d
\nAlong with \u201cHello Mr. Hand.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Brian Allgar,<\/a> Sharon Neeman, Steve Whitred,<\/a> Susan Settje,<\/a> Wayne Feder,<\/a> Sjaan VandenBroeder, Jean McEwen, John Shardlow, Tim James, Roger Haugen, Lisi Nortman Ardissone, and Tim Gray. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:<\/p>\n

HONORABLE MENTIONS (DOUBLE DUTY DIVISION: \u201cFUSE\u201d RHYME LIMERICKS THAT ARE ALSO PLAN LIMERICKS)<\/p>\n

Brian Allgar:<\/p>\n

\u201cTo ensure my election success,
\nThere\u2019s a thing that I plan to suppress –
\nPostal voting! I\u2019d lose,
\nSo I\u2019m gonna refuse
\nAny bailout for USPS.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

HONORABLE MENTIONS (“FUSE” RHYME DIVISION)<\/p>\n

Sharon Neeman:<\/p>\n

“I’m planning a dinner,” said she;
\n“How very delightful!” said we,
\n“But the rules in the news
\nSay we have to refuse…”
\n“No,” she shrugged, “it’s just ramen, for me.”<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Steve Whitred:<\/p>\n

What a mystery needs is some clues,
\nAnd what dynamite needs is a fuse.
\nComing later this Fall,
\nFor the sake of us all:
\nWhat the GOP needs is to lose.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Susan Settje: <\/p>\n

Gone are days when the only fake news
\nWas in tabloids and meant to amuse;
\nWhen Cronkite and Rather
\nDidn\u2019t simper or blather
\nOr tell lies that are meant to confuse.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Wayne Feder:<\/p>\n

Some folks are just learning the news
\nThat Trump has a very short fuse.
\nIt shouldn\u2019t surprise;
\nJust look at the size
\nOf his hands and his very small shoes.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Sjaan VandenBroeder:<\/p>\n

\u201cA<\/strong>nother acrostic? Admit:
\nW<\/strong>hen it comes to this task, you\u2019re unfit.
\nF<\/strong>or your own good, refuse,\u201d
\nU<\/strong>ttered one honest Muse.
\n\u201cL<\/strong>ook, you\u2019re bad at this, REALLY. Now quit.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Jean McEwen: <\/p>\n

Several months ago, Carnival Cruise
\nHad a deal that we couldn\u2019t refuse.
\nBut I fear the damn virus
\nWill, sadly, require us
\nTo bail (and fend off those \u201cah-choos.\u201d)<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Steve Whitred:<\/p>\n

Told the barkeep some humorous news,
\nAnd she listened; she couldn\u2019t refuse.
\nBut instead of applause
\nGiggles, grins, or guffaws,
\nAll I got from the barmaid was booze.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

HONORABLE MENTIONS (PLAN LIMERICK DIVISION)<\/p>\n

John Shardlow:<\/p>\n

From a Potus who rates himself \u2018great,\u2019
\nThis plan ought to carry some weight:
\nFor Covid infection,
\nA Clorox injection.
\nMake sure that his jacket is \u2018strait.\u2019<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Sharon Neeman: <\/p>\n

On “Dancing with Stars” Jim had fans,
\nBut an accident ruined his plans.
\nHearing “Rrrrrrip!” in the final,
\nHe found his tights (vinyl)
\nWere really his dance partner Ann’s.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Steve Whitred:<\/p>\n

\u201cFor the people\u201d, Ms. Harris began,
\nAnd Ms. Warren said \u201cI have a plan.\u201d
\nAmy Klobs made a plea,
\nBut what scuttled all three
\nWas that none of these gals is a man.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Tim James:<\/p>\n

He had planned on a cruise, the poor schlub.
\nThen the virus came. Ay, there\u2019s the rub.
\nHe is now quite bereft.
\nThere\u2019s but one option left:
\nThat\u2019s to play with toy boats in the tub.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Roger Haugen:<\/p>\n

While thinking deep thoughts on the can,
\nHe delivered himself of a plan:
\nHe\u2019d leave his old wife
\nTo start a new life
\nAnd indulge in his yen for Japan.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Lisi Nortman Ardissone: <\/p>\n

Here is something to do when depressed:
\nMake nice plans, so you won’t feel distressed.
\nBut remember, my friend,
\nI do recommend
\nThat at some point, you need to get dressed.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Tim James, for his \u201cA man, a plan, a canal, Panama.”<\/p>\n

\n

When my limerick effort began \u2014
\nOn this man, the canal, and his plan \u2014
\nI emitted a curse
\nWhile constructing the verse:
\nThat damn palindrome just wouldn\u2019t scan.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Tim Gray:<\/p>\n

If you think that you can\u2019t, you are right.
\nOf this fact you must never lose sight.
\nThe obvious plan
\nIs to think that you can,
\nAnd the chances increase that you might.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.<\/p>\n

In the next couple of minutes I\u2019ll be posting a new Limerick-Off<\/a>, which gives you yet another opportunity to win the Limerick-Off Award.<\/p>\n

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter<\/a>. Thanks!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick-Off winners based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in the last Limerick-Off. Congratulations to TIM JAMES, who wins the Limerick-Off Award for this funny limerick: After thinking about it, I choose To accept that Corona\u2019s no ruse. Why is that? I\u2019ll explain: I\u2019ve a functioning brain. […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[62,104,84,3270,1192,1983,65,42,103,64],"tags":[4003,4465,5106,5173,5009,5018,5144,5239,5052,5343,3342,3569,5174,3167,5379,487,523],"class_list":["post-42809","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-contests","category-limerick-haiku-seeds","category-limerick-award-winners","category-limerick-competition","category-limerick-contest","category-limerick-of-the-week","category-limerick-writing-contest","category-limericks","category-poetry-prompts","category-poetry-contest","tag-brian-allgar","tag-dave-johnson","tag-jean-mcewen","tag-john-shardlow","tag-limerick-contest","tag-limerick-of-the-week","tag-lisi-nortman-ardissone","tag-roger-haugen","tag-sharon-neeman","tag-sjaan-vandenbroeder","tag-steve-whitred","tag-susan-settje","tag-tim-gray","tag-tim-james","tag-wayne-feder","tag-writing-competitions","tag-writing-contest"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/42809","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=42809"}],"version-history":[{"count":26,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/42809\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":42848,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/42809\/revisions\/42848"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=42809"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=42809"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=42809"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}