{"id":42735,"date":"2020-03-28T23:27:33","date_gmt":"2020-03-29T03:27:33","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/?p=42735"},"modified":"2020-03-28T23:38:23","modified_gmt":"2020-03-29T03:38:23","slug":"limerick-off-award-441","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/2020\/03\/28\/limerick-off-award-441\/","title":{"rendered":"Limerick-Off Award (441)"},"content":{"rendered":"

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick-Off winners based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in the last Limerick-Off.<\/a> <\/p>\n

Congratulations to BYRON MILLER, who wins the Limerick-Off Award for this funny limerick:<\/p>\n

Just the thought of my girlfriend\u2019s name, Iris,
\nFreaks me out in this time of the virus.
\nI know it\u2019s not fair,
\nBut I\u2019m filled with despair,
\nAnd of Iris, no longer desirous.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Congratulations to SJAAN VANDENBROEDER, who wins the Special SCAM-Themed Limerick Award for this funny limerick:<\/p>\n

\u201cWe must cut Covid numbers by half!\u201d
\nWarned the head of Trump\u2019s Re-elect Staff.
\n\u201cJust give me a minute,\u201d
\nSaid Donald. \u201cI\u2019ll spin it\u2013
\nNow hand me that Sharpie and graph.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Tim James, Lisi Nortman Ardissone, Dave Johnson, Sjaan VandenBroeder, Sharon Neeman, Brian Allgar,<\/a> Steve Whitred,<\/a> and Steve Benko.<\/a> Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:<\/p>\n

HONORABLE MENTIONS (“FAIR or FARE or AFFAIR” RHYME DIVISION)<\/p>\n

Tim James:<\/p>\n

His blind date was an awkward affair.
\nThey had said, \u201cShe has brains; she has flair
\nAnd, by God, can she sing!\u201d
\nThe unfortunate thing:
\nShe looked much<\/strong> more like Sonny than Cher.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Lisi Nortman Ardissone: <\/p>\n

Got a dog for my wife at “Town Square.”
\nIt’s a dachshund with black and white hair.
\nHe sits and he stays
\nAnd always obeys.
\nI must say that the trade was quite fair.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Dave Johnson:<\/p>\n

The film was a sexy affair;
\nIt\u2019s actors were chosen with care.
\nBut one would resist
\nAs she tried to insist
\nHer partner was too hard to bare.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Sjaan VandenBroeder:<\/p>\n

Life was more than Rapunzel could bear.
\nFrom her tower she cried, \u201cIt\u2019s not fair!
\nI\u2019m expecting the Prince,
\nBut I\u2019ve run out of rinse,
\nAnd I can\u2019t do a thing with my hair!\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Tim James:<\/p>\n

Debussy wrote a piece called \u201cLa Mer\u201d
\n(Which is French for \u201cThe Sea,\u201d if you care.)
\nWhen I first heard it played,
\nThe impression it made
\nWas so real that I tossed that night\u2019s fare.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

HONORABLE MENTIONS (SCAM LIMERICK DIVISION)<\/p>\n

Sharon Neeman:<\/p>\n

First he swore we would have a great time,
\nBut he fleeced me of every last dime.
\nThen I found I was sick \u2014
\nNot just COVID, but tick-
\nBorne disease… yes, Corona with Lyme.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Brian Allgar:<\/p>\n

I was broke till last summer, but since,
\nI\u2019ve grown rich. Here\u2019s a couple of hints
\nFor a scheme that can\u2019t fail:
\nOffer money by mail,
\nAnd pretend you\u2019re an African prince.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Tim James:<\/p>\n

Charles Ponzi let pyramids crash.
\nMichael Milken sold bonds that were trash.
\nS&L mogul Keating
\nGot busted for cheating,
\nAnd Bernie Madoff with the cash.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Steve Whitred:<\/p>\n

Blah, blah, blah, [insert word salad here.]
\nBlah, blah, blah, you have nothing to fear.
\nIt\u2019s a scam. It\u2019s a hoax.
\nLet\u2019s get back to work folks.
\nKiss your Granny while you can still see \u2019er.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Steve Benko:<\/p>\n

When I heard of Nigerian oil,
\nIt sounded according to Hoyle.
\nTurns out I got fleeced,
\nBut when mad I\u2019m a beast;
\nAs a hit man I\u2019ve hired a mohel.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.<\/p>\n

In the next couple of minutes I\u2019ll be posting a new Limerick-Off<\/a>, which gives you yet another opportunity to win the Limerick-Off Award.<\/p>\n

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter<\/a>. Thanks!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick-Off winners based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in the last Limerick-Off. Congratulations to BYRON MILLER, who wins the Limerick-Off Award for this funny limerick: Just the thought of my girlfriend\u2019s name, Iris, Freaks me out in this time of the virus. I know it\u2019s not […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[62,104,84,3270,1192,1983,65,42,103],"tags":[4003,2578,4465,5009,5018,5144,5052,5343,5080,3342,3167,487,523],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/42735"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=42735"}],"version-history":[{"count":17,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/42735\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":42757,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/42735\/revisions\/42757"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=42735"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=42735"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=42735"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}