{"id":42659,"date":"2020-02-29T23:03:36","date_gmt":"2020-03-01T03:03:36","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/?p=42659"},"modified":"2020-02-29T23:09:37","modified_gmt":"2020-03-01T03:09:37","slug":"limerick-off-award-339","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/2020\/02\/29\/limerick-off-award-339\/","title":{"rendered":"Limerick-Off Award (339)"},"content":{"rendered":"

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick-Off winners based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in the last Limerick-Off.<\/a> <\/p>\n

Congratulations to KIRK MILLER, who wins the Limerick-Off Award for this funny limerick:<\/p>\n

They are stripping the mountaintops bare
\nAnd polluting the streams and the air.
\nMining makes a huge gash,
\nSo small payments of cash
\nAre coaled comfort for residents there.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Congratulations to TIM JAMES, who wins the Special CLOTHING-Themed Limerick Award for this funny limerick:<\/p>\n

A spy sent a note to her chief.
\nHow\u2019d she do it? It beggars belief:
\nShe inscribed it with care
\nOn her guy\u2019s underwear.
\nThat\u2019s the way she conveyed it, in brief.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Jean McEwen, Tim James, Beri Caram, Tony Holmes, Lisi Nortman Ardissone, Brian Allgar,<\/a> Sjaan VandenBroeder, Steve Whitred,<\/a> Diane Groothuis, Daisy Hyrkas, and Suzanne Heymann. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:<\/p>\n

HONORABLE MENTIONS (“CASH\/CACHE” RHYME DIVISION)<\/p>\n

Jean McEwen: <\/p>\n

Here\u2019s a TSA warning to heed:
\nIf your state\u2019s not yet legalized weed,
\nExpect agents to trash
\nAll the hash in your cache.
\n(You\u2019d best smoke it beforehand. Agreed?)\n<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Sjaan VandenBroeder:<\/p>\n

\nWhen Ogden was asked why he sought to
\nWrite more lim’ricks than any man ought to:
\n\u201cNot unlike earning cash,
\nIt\u2019s like breathing,\u201d said Nash\u2013
\n\u201cIt\u2019s better to do it than not to.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Tim James:<\/p>\n

\nShe\u2019s a beauty, with style and panache,
\nAnd I know that my ardor is rash.
\nOh, to lie in her arms
\nAnd enjoy her sweet charms!
\nIt turns out, though, I haven\u2019t the cash.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

HONORABLE MENTIONS (CLOTHING LIMERICK DIVISION)<\/p>\n

Beri Caram:<\/p>\n

I gathered the leaves of a fig
\nTo wear on my prominent rig.
\nMy wife said, \u201cThat stuff
\nIs barely enough
\nTo cover up something that big.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Tony Holmes:<\/p>\n

If it\u2019s true that, \u2018Clothes maketh the man,\u2019
\nI must get some as soon as I can.
\nOh, it\u2019s all very well
\nLiving au naturel,
\nBut it sucks for my seven-year plan.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Lisi Nortman Ardissone: <\/p>\n

All the guys used to give me a wink
\nWhen I’d sit at “The Lounge” for a drink.
\nBut I’ve stopped going there
\nCuz I’ve nothing to wear;
\nSeems that choc’late made all my clothes shrink.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Brian Allgar:<\/p>\n

My new Y-fronts are horribly wrong,
\nManufactured no doubt in Hong Kong.
\nThey are useless and silly,
\nUnless you\u2019ve a willy
\nThat\u2019s Z-shaped and twelve inches long.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Sjaan VandenBroeder:<\/p>\n

Well, Lady Godiva was clutch,
\nRiding naked for causes and such,
\nButt rubbed raw by her horse.
\nOne conclusion, of course,
\nIs the Lady doth protest too much.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Steve Whitred:<\/p>\n

There once was a man, quite a prude.
\nIn his nightmares he went around nude,
\nBut exposing his skin
\nCaused him so much chagrin,
\nThat he had himself fully tattooed.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Tim James:<\/p>\n

An ecdysiast, smart as a whip,
\nTrolled the crowd with the following quip:
\n\u201cIn exchange for your payment,
\nI\u2019ll doff my scant raiment.\u201d
\nA fellow yelled, \u201cTHEN will you strip?\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Diane Groothuis: <\/p>\n

A Scot in a very short kilt
\nSaid \u201cYou see I am very well built,
\nAnd in my tight trews
\nYou\u2019ll get plenty of views
\nOf the sword which I keep in my hilt.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Daisy Hyrkas: <\/p>\n

There once was a gal named Louise
\nWhose clothes were infested with fleas.
\nThey caused such an itch,
\nShe removed ev’ry stitch
\nAnd called it the vermin striptease.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Suzanne Heymann:<\/p>\n

A brassiere is a curse-worthy thing,
\nAn uncomfortable harness — tit sling.
\nI get home and then boom;
\nFree my boobs from their tomb.
\nWhip the thing \u2019cross the room with a fling!<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.<\/p>\n

In the next couple of minutes I\u2019ll be posting a new Limerick-Off,<\/a> which gives you yet another opportunity to win the Limerick-Off Award.<\/p>\n

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter<\/a>. Thanks!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick-Off winners based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in the last Limerick-Off. Congratulations to KIRK MILLER, who wins the Limerick-Off Award for this funny limerick: They are stripping the mountaintops bare And polluting the streams and the air. Mining makes a huge gash, So small payments […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[62,104,84,3270,1192,1983,65,42,103,64],"tags":[5356,4003,5342,2747,5106,3284,4960,5009,5018,4951,5144,5343,3342,4533,3167,5145,487,3651],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/42659"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=42659"}],"version-history":[{"count":21,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/42659\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":42691,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/42659\/revisions\/42691"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=42659"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=42659"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.madkane.com\/humor_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=42659"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}